daycare not feeding DS enough

[cestkaren]

My son has started daycare. We know people who have sent their children to this daycare and have received good reccomendations. This week, I went with DS to try to get him comfortable. DS is 14 months old and eats alot, the daycare seems to just give the kids a little bit of food and are slow to give seconds and then they say all done. My son will wake up from his nap screaming because he is hungery (they haven't seen this yet because for the first two days, we only stayed through lunch). I've repeatedly told them that he will eat more than the other kids and I would stand there and ask DS if he would like more to eat (he doesn't sign 'more' yet), then they would give him more (I would give the staff some time to give him seconds which they never did). I figure they'll figure this out when DS does scream his head off when he wakes up hungry. It just breaks my heart, he's going to cry enough when DH drops him off and leaves. WWYD?

[deannanb]

is the food provided by the daycare - or do you send the lunch?
can you send his lunch with a note saying he WILL eat all of the food in the bag?

[wellyes]

Tell them to feed him until he refuses any further food. If they do not accomodate this request, take him out since that is a pretty simple, standard, straightforward thing to ask.

But also I want to gently suggest that sending your kid to daycare for the first time is such a huge source of anxiety, so be mindful that the care providers are probably very good at feeding kids, they've done it lots, and they want their little ones to be happy. They're still getting to know him.

Also realize that a 14 month old WILL cry when dropped off even at the best daycare provider ever. It doesn't mean that anything is wrong. Many many many kids cry at drop off and are having a grand time a minute after mom or dad is out of sight. It sucks, but that's how it is for many of us.

[amldaley]

I had this exact same issue with DD's daycare when she moved to the "pre-toddler" room a month ago (she was 14 mo at the time). They handed her a bowl of cereal with milk and a spoon and never mentioned to me that she needed to know how to use that on her own before transitioning. She sat there making a mess and not eating for more than a week.

She also (still) comes home dehydrated because they only get drinks at breakfast (0800), lunch (1130) and snacktime (1430). If she doesn't drink it fast during those meals, oh well.

There are soooo many reasons we kept her in this facility including cost and the fact that it is less than 5 minutes from my office.

I spoke with the director about it once, but nothing really changed.

She has gotten better at eating in the time alloted over the last month. Then again, she sits and waits for the meal cart. She and the meal cart lady are friends.

And I come prepared at the end of the day with a sippy cup which I give her as soon as we get to the car. Then she gets a snack as soon as we get home (5:00 pm - 5:30pm ish on a good day) and then dinner at 6:00 pm or 6:30 pm. She is only 15th percentile for weight, so I do worry she is not getting enough, but she was little before she moved to that class, too.

I would schedule an appointment to speak with the director or owner of the facility. Not just the teachers/providers. If it is a policy issue, a $10 hr provider is not going to go to bat for your child against the boss.

Document the times your son has demonstrated his hunger. Make sure they can't argue it is just a growth spurt.

Help your son at home to make sure that meal time is focused on EATING. We had to eliminate EVERY distraction so that DD really got down to it and chows down in the alloted time.

I don't know if it is possible with your schedule, but I took my lunch break off in the morning one day and sat with her for breakfast then did the same another day for lunch so I could actually sit in the room, at the food table, and interact with the provider who was dishing it out. I made comments like, "Wow, DD, you are going to have to ....." or "I bet you are ready for some more..." ...sort of overt messages to the provider to feed my kid.

Give it some time, too, if he hasn't been there long enough to adapt to their feeding style and schedule. There is always a learning curve in the beginning.

ETA: We also use a Snack Trap in the car with Cheerios or Puffs only. Gets her through the ride home. I won't put anything else in there for fear of a choking hazard while driving!)

[egoldber]

It is really common for kids who are new to daycare (even those who are not so new...) to not want to eat at lunch. Lunch is a very busy, active, social time. While the teachers should be encouraging him to eat, it can take some time for kids to adjust at even the very, very best of daycares.

Do they provide a morning and/or afternoon snack? If so, a LOT of kids will eat a lot at snack and then not so much at lunch. It's pretty common. I would ask the teachers how he eats at lunch and see if they have suggestions for how to encourage him to eat more (changing his table, etc.).

Also, if you provide lunch, make sure it is things that are easy, easy for him to eat that don't require the provider to help much. That can help a great deal.

[DrSally]

That's terrible. My sister mentioned when she toured a daycare facility, that the meals were very small and less than what her DS would eat--4 chicken nuggets and a little veg or fruit. Her DS would generally eat 6 nuggets and a bunch of other stuff. They should feed according to hunger (within reason).

[cestkaren]

My son eats, even though he is new to the daycare. We feed him breakfast when he wakes up, then he goes to the daycare and gets more breakfast. Daycare also gives a midmorning snack, lunch, and a midafternoon snack. I'm also sending a snack for after his nap as he wakes up before the other kids, which they gave him today. So, hopefully, it will work out. All last week, I sat through his lunch and would say "DS do you want more to eat" etc.

Thanks for the replies.