Newborn - won't sleep (helpppppppppp)

[PMJ]

My DD has a lot of trouble falling asleep. I breastfeed on avg every 2.5 - 3 hrs (during day) and every 3 -4 at night.

Here is our routine at night: Feed her, burp her, walk around w/her a bit to calm her down and be sure she is almost asleep and then try putting her in her Pack 'n Play. After 3 minutes, she starts fussing - crying loudly. She has all those reflexes movements w/ her hands and you can tell she is disturbed. I know she is not hungry, her diaper was recently changed; so I'm at a loss for what is wrong. Unless I pick her back up, she will not stop crying. Last night was the worst - I tried rocking her, walking around w/her, singing to her, putting her on my chest; nothing worked. Finally, my husband brought her to our bed and she slept fine. I don't want DD to get used to sleeping in the bed; bad habit I know!!! I don't know what else to do to get her to fall asleep.

During the day - she is a bit better w/ sleeping. After I feed her, we put her in her bouncer or on a quilt on the floor.

I'm beginning to think it might be gas (some of the time). The only way I know she has done #2 (without checking of course) - is hearing her pass gas.

Any suggestions would be great...!

First time Mom

THANKS

[pastrygirl]

My babies have never slept anywhere but my bed those first few months. It's pretty normal, I think. I worked on getting my older son into the crib at around 3 months, and it worked great! Early co-sleeping didn't form any bad habits; it just ensured a good nights' sleep for everyone. :)

ETA: I've asked this question a lot, and it seems that most babies do NOT naturally sleep alone. If you happen to get one that will, it's pure luck! I was hoping to get that lucky with #2, but it didn't happen. :(

[Kymberley]

We had the exact same issues you have. Our DS cosleeps with us for now. We'll cross the bridge of seperation when we get to it, but for now, we are enjoying our peaceful nights. Hugs to you, I know it is really difficult. Do what works for you, and ignore any negativity you might recieve. My mother is convinced that we've ruined DS by letting him in our bed. She was also convinced that I was starving him by EBF without supplementing.

And about the gas, we also had this problem. It was very bad, but one day, it just stopped. He wouldn't sleep because of it, he would cry constantly. Now, he's great! Hope this is the case for you as well.

[SnuggleBuggles]

She can't really create a habit now- she is too little for that. I would do whatever it takes to get sleep. Both of my boys spent the first few months with us in bed at least part of the night, often with dh holding them in the early weeks. With ds2 I did let him tummy sleep and that made a big difference in his sleep but I understand that not everyone is comfortable with that.

Beth

[BeachBum]

She can't really create a habit now- she is too little for that. I would do whatever it takes to get sleep. Both of my boys spent the first few months with us in bed at least part of the night, often with dh holding them in the early weeks.

Beth

I agree with that.
I think what you are experiencing is totally normal and typical newborn behavior. Nothing is "wrong". Babies would just much prefer to be held and snuggled than laid down in a bed alone. :)
You can't start forming habits until about 4-5 months, so I really wouldn't stress about that!
Have you tried swaddling? Have you read "happiest baby on the block"?

[slworld]

DS was a very poor sleeper until about 9months (not a great improvement, but better). In our case naps were worse. He had to be fully asleep before we put him in his crib & even then he woke up in less than 30mins. Until he was about 6months old he had to be rocked to sleep. So if bringing her into your bed would help her fall asleep then just do it. I would have done anything to get him to sleep at that age. And yes DS was always flailing his arms. Swaddling was the only thing that worked for us. HTH

[ThreeofUs]

Bringing baby to bed with you may be habit forming for you (goodness knows, it's much easier to night bf with them right there), but not for her, as pp's have said.

I'd suggest swaddling, and if she has lots of gas, start thinking about (1) GasX and (2) anything in your diet that may be upsetting her gastro system and causing gas and/or reflux.

[Piglet]

Hey, if you are getting 3-4 hours between feedings at night, you are doing well! DS1 was my only crib lseeper in the early months and I am totally NOT a co-sleeper. I don't sleep with baby in bed with me, so it isn't something I love doing, but in those early months, it is a lifesaver! FTR, DH likes to sleep with baby, so he did a lot of hte co-sleeping. Our preferred sleeping position was baby in the middle of the bed in the crook of DH's elbow - it made it impossible for anyone to roll on the baby since DH's arm acted as a fence. By 2-3 months, we started working on moving baby to their crib and by 4-5 months we worked on getting them to fall asleep on their own. #2 and #3 still woke up at night though... and #3 now wakes up at night to go potty. It is a never-ending sleep interruption - you get used to it!

[rgors]

If you're not swaddling, definitely try that.

Also, go to your library or buy off Amazon, the DVD version of Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block." We and many many others have found it invaluable. It takes only about 20min to watch the DVD and understand the key points. It talks about various methods for soothing a newborn. Worked for us!

[Kestrel]

You don't say where DD is at night... is the pack & play is your room?

We were very much against co-sleeping. (We have medical issues) However, we were able to put his bassenette in our room for several months, without him actually being in our bed. He was on DH's side, and he was able to rock the baby without getting out of bed! What a sanity saver! He could put a hand on baby and talk to him, and both of them would go right back to sleep... generally. You might try this?

[KrisM]

Are you swaddling her? If not, I'd start with that. Get a nice, tight swaddle and the reflex movements will stop.

We also ended up being co-sleepers with both DS's. DD didn't like it :).

[drako]

My daughter was very much like yours. We would get her to fall asleep and shortly after she was put in the pack and play next to my bed she would wake up screaming. Rocking the crib or rubbing her didn't soothe her either. The jerky movements would wake her as well. We swaddled her and that helped the jerky movements but she still wouldn't sleep by herself. Finally, after MANY sleepless nights and hubby walking the floor with her, we brought her into our bed. Wow...we all got a great night's sleep! I wasn't for co-sleeping in the beginning. Mainly because of the negativity from family members. But you know what, they don't need to know and in those early days you need to do what works in order to get sleep. We finally transitioned DD to her crib at about three months. It was a very easy transition. Although, when she woke up for a feeding I would bring her to our bed to nurse and we often fell asleep. Now at almost nine months she stays in her crib for the entire night. I still will nurse her in bed once a night if she wakes, but as soon as she is done she goes right back to her crib. She actually sleeps better in her crib now!! I don't regret co-sleeping in the early days at all. I will do it again when we have another baby. It makes those early weeks/months so much easier.

[sak90027]

1. swaddle
2. are you eating dairy? it might be causing discomfort. if you eliminate dairy it takes a few weeks to see any results.
3. feed on demand
4. the pack and play-when my son was a newborn he HATED sleeping in the pack n' play. i think it may be sort of uncomfortable. try the crib or a arms reach co-sleeper next to the bed if you're against co-sleeping in the bed.

we also got a noise machine. the sound of waves really did the trick for us.

[maydaymommy]

Have you tried swaddling? Have you read "happiest baby on the block"?

:yeahthat:

[msbalboa]

If you're not swaddling, definitely try that.

Also, go to your library or buy off Amazon, the DVD version of Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block." We and many many others have found it invaluable. It takes only about 20min to watch the DVD and understand the key points. It talks about various methods for soothing a newborn. Worked for us!

Amen to this - we had the same problems as the original post and were cosleeping for about a week before I got too nervous to continue. After doing the things suggested in the video throughout the day, we've found that the baby is more relaxed overall, making it easier for him to feel comforted and secure falling asleep on his own. (At least that's my theory.)

My additional tips - we use a bassinet in our room and tilt one end up (in case there really are tummy problems - helps prevent reflux from lying flat). About 10 mins before laying the baby down, we turn on a heating pad in the bassinet to warm it up. Once the baby has been soothed and is falling asleep, we put him in the bassinet and tuck rolled up burp cloths on either side of him to simulate being held. Of course, the REALLY tight swaddle is key - so make sure that's done before going through any of this. We've experienced success so far with these techniques.

Have loved reading the other stories - great thread!

[rizzo0904]

We started my son out in his own crib from night one...in his own room as well. It worked great for us. Here are some things we did:

1. After night feedings (I bf'd) I would immediately put him in the crib. I didn't comfort him, I wanted him to be able to comfort himself.

2. For the first few nights I put a heating pad in the crib before bed time to warm it up and make it inviting.

3. We always tucked him in under blankets....the nurses at the hospital actually recommended it. We just tucked them into the sides of the crib. Once he started moving at night, we stopped tucking them in so he couldn't get caught underneath.

My son has always been a great sleeper and he loves his crib. He's now 14 months old and when I say it's time for bed, he goes upstairs to his room and gets his blanket. We never have to fight with him.

As for possible gas, try some mylicon. If it helps, yay! If not, it's probably not a gas issue.