HELP!!! with behavior at school

[BabyMine]

M was doing really good at school. He was behaving and would only act up occasionally. He is speech delayed but has a ST come to his school once a week for 1hr.

Since last week his behavior started going down hill. He is potty trained and last week he decided he wasn't and just went in his underwear. When the teacher would ask him to go to the bathroom he would cry. This week he is just outright defiant. He yells at the teacher and disturbs the other children at nap time. They have tried taking away priviledges and prizes but he doesn't seem to understand what consequences are. When he is asked a question he starts throwing out words. When you ask him to look you in the eye he does and then starts to laugh and then avoids your eyes. He can look you in the eye if it isn't serious but not when it is. He will also talk like a baby when he is asked why he is acting this way.

Now he is on Advair and his teacher was on vacation last week and is back this week. Thats the only thing I can think off. What worries me is that when you ask him certain questions he can't answer them. They are simple questions. I am at a loss. Please help.

[sariana]

What worries me is that when you ask him certain questions he can't answer them. They are simple questions.

I wish I knew how to help you with the behavior problems; then I would know what to do about my own son.

As for your quote above, I'm not sure quite what you mean, but it reminds me of something. Last year a friend and mom of DS's classmate was sharing a story about her son. He also has a language delay and was/is receiving services for it.

She asked him to put a toy in the dining room. He looked at her and said, quite seriously, "Mommy, what's a dining room?" He had heard this term many times before, but his language deficit for some reason was interfering with his ability to process the word and therefore the request. His mom was sharing because she was pleased that he had got to the point where he could ask and express what he did not understand.

Maybe something similar is happening with your son. Things that seem simple to us may not be so simple to him, and it might be overwhelming him.

Also, the teacher's absence absolutely could be a major factor. Hopefully he'll get back on track now that she's back.

Good luck!

[BabyMine]

Now that she is back his behavior is worse.

I asked him if he likes his teacher and he said " she on vacation on a boat.
I can ask him what his last name is and he can tell me but when his teacher asked " where do you buy ice cream" he couldn't answer. He has trouble answering the question of the day.

He also has trouble staying on task. He can sit and do work one on one without any problem but if there are distractions then he goes and joins what other kids are doing.

[sariana]

I assume he is in preschool? Is it a typical school?

He reminds me SO MUCH of my son. DS was really struggling in his first preschool (when he was 3). He had already been evaluated by our district's special education department, but all the testing was one-on-one, and he did really well. I begged and begged them to retest him. When they finally observed him in his preschool, they immediately qualified him for our district's autism program. He does not have an autism diagnosis, but the step-by-step breakdown of social skills and intensive behavioral intervention were exactly what he needed/needs.

Can you get an(other) evaluation? It sounds as though your son would benefit from more intensive services.

DS is in kindergarten now. He is still in SpEd because of the smaller student:teacher ratio, but he is doing so much better.

In other activities we still see him struggle. Gymnastics is okay because it is mostly an individual sport. But if one kid is off fooling around, my son will be off fooling around too. Or jumping on someone. Or pushing. Fortunately his coach is really good with him/them.

We have DS in a soccer program for kids with special needs. Most of the kids on his team are on the spectrum (autism). If anyone is off-task, my son is right there with him/her. Someone has to stay with him constantly to keep him on task.

We hope that things will improve as his brain matures. We have already seen great strides, but he still has a long way to go.

I hope you are able to find a program that works for your son. It is so difficult to watch our LOs struggle and not know what to do to help them.

[daisymommy]

:hug: I agree that it sounds like something bigger is at work here. The behavior, speech issues, lack of understanding all point to a bigger problem, if you ask me. I would ask your pediatrician for a referral to a child psychologist or therapist.
Best of luck to you!

[rfeibelm]

Is the Advair a new med for him? My DS has been a completely different person before while on allergy meds.

[BabyMine]

Is the Advair a new med for him? My DS has been a completely different person before while on allergy meds.

He was on it last winter but during the summer we were told it is ok to stop. He doesn't have any problems during June - September.

[BabyMine]

I assume he is in preschool? Is it a typical school?

He reminds me SO MUCH of my son. DS was really struggling in his first preschool (when he was 3). He had already been evaluated by our district's special education department, but all the testing was one-on-one, and he did really well. I begged and begged them to retest him. When they finally observed him in his preschool, they immediately qualified him for our district's autism program. He does not have an autism diagnosis, but the step-by-step breakdown of social skills and intensive behavioral intervention were exactly what he needed/needs.

Can you get an(other) evaluation? It sounds as though your son would benefit from more intensive services.

DS is in kindergarten now. He is still in SpEd because of the smaller student:teacher ratio, but he is doing so much better.

In other activities we still see him struggle. Gymnastics is okay because it is mostly an individual sport. But if one kid is off fooling around, my son will be off fooling around too. Or jumping on someone. Or pushing. Fortunately his coach is really good with him/them.

We have DS in a soccer program for kids with special needs. Most of the kids on his team are on the spectrum (autism). If anyone is off-task, my son is right there with him/her. Someone has to stay with him constantly to keep him on task.

We hope that things will improve as his brain matures. We have already seen great strides, but he still has a long way to go.

I hope you are able to find a program that works for your son. It is so difficult to watch our LOs struggle and not know what to do to help them.

He is in PK.
He has been at the same school since he was 2.
We had him evaluated and they saw the same thing we did. Your right about the one on one behavior vs the group setting. I just asked his ST to do a new eval based on his behavior in group. We also have M in Gymnastics and I haven't heard anyhting about his behavior. M also follows anyone who acts out. As soon as one boy runs around during circle time he starts doing the same thing.


:hug: I agree that it sounds like something bigger is at work here. The behavior, speech issues, lack of understanding all point to a bigger problem, if you ask me. I would ask your pediatrician for a referral to a child psychologist or therapist.
Best of luck to you!

I found a Ped Behavioralist that I am going to call tomorrow.

Thank you all for your personal stories and ideas. They make me feel that I am not alone and that it isn't caused by something I did.

[ohiomom]

Sending you huge hugs. It absolutely is not anything that you've done. I find with my kids, as soon as I solve one mystery, we are on to the next. No one warned me that parenting required such detective skills. Your DC is so lucky to have an attentive advocate. Please don't think this is due to something you've done. :hug::hug:

[bubbaray]

I thought Advair wasn't approved for those under 12? That would be my first question.

We had HUGE behavioral problems with DD#1 with both Singulair and Flovent. So, the Advair could possibly be an issue.

[egoldber]

It really could be the Advair. For some kids it has to build up to a high enough level to be an issue. Sarah uses Advair and does fine on it, but Pulmicort turned her into a demon child. Seriously, she was totally out of control. Singulair was similar, but not as bad.

I would trial off of the Advair and see what happens to the behavior before making any judgments.

[BabyMine]

I thought Advair wasn't approved for those under 12? That would be my first question.

We had HUGE behavioral problems with DD#1 with both Singulair and Flovent. So, the Advair could possibly be an issue.

The Diskus can be used in children 4-11. M also had a problem with Singulair, Claritin, and Zyrtec.

[BabyMine]

Sending you huge hugs. It absolutely is not anything that you've done. I find with my kids, as soon as I solve one mystery, we are on to the next. No one warned me that parenting required such detective skills. Your DC is so lucky to have an attentive advocate. Please don't think this is due to something you've done. :hug::hug:

Thank you for the hugs. I definately need them. M was born with Vaters, trachea malacia, hypospadia, chordee, severe stridor, and hemi vertibrae and I was told he wouldn't survive. He fought and right before his 2nd Birthday he was done with all of his surgeries. During one of the surgeries he coded and we almost lost him. Our last challenge was his potty training and he just achieved it last month. I was thinking it was all over.

[BabyMine]

It really could be the Advair. For some kids it has to build up to a high enough level to be an issue. Sarah uses Advair and does fine on it, but Pulmicort turned her into a demon child. Seriously, she was totally out of control. Singulair was similar, but not as bad.

I would trial off of the Advair and see what happens to the behavior before making any judgments.

I am hoping it is the Advair.

[bubbaray]

Actually, I wouldn't trial off the Advair without subbing a different asthma med. Asthmatics are high risk for H1N1, so I would think its important to keep his asthma controlled.

FWIW, my own respirologist d/n like Advair as a preventative. He prefers Alvesco, then Pulmicort then Flovent (mildest to strongest). DD#1's respirologist started her on Flovent first but moved her down to Pulmicort when I pulled her off the Flovent. Different docs have different "plans" for prevention I guess.

[egoldber]

I agree not to do it without calling the doc. I guess I just assumed that.

We have tried many different meds and combos for Sarah and Advair was used after Pulmicort, Asmanax, Singulair and Flovent did not work (all for various reasons). But I agree that there are a lot of meds to try and something else may work better.

[BabyMine]

Here is what we have in the medicine cabinet

Flovent 44mcg
Qvar 40 & 80mg
Xopenex
Pulmicort
ProAir
Proventil

Before Advair he was on Qvar. I will call his Pulm tomorrow and see what he thinks.