Do I want to work full time?

[niccig]

Kinda thinking out loud here, and I love the ideas and opinions I get from the diverse parents on the BBB.

I've always said I would go back to work/school once DS was in school. He's now in a pre-K- at a private school and he goes 5 days a week 8.45-2.45 . I've become room parent and am at the school once a week to go on field trips/walk to school farm etc.

I've volunteered at a museum for years. The person I volunteer with is now higher up in management. I've done research/written papers with her. She offered me a job 3 years ago, but I wasn't ready for work again. We've also talked about me working on some projects, but there was funding issues and I was only available part-time, she needed someone full-time. I've been thinking about my future career options - I'm going back and forth on working in libraries, museums or education technology positions.

The museum has an assistant registrar position available, so I email her asking if my background would be acceptable. I was a librarian at universities, and I would need to learn about museum collection management, but there is some cross over with my library background. She replies that she thinks I could be good at the job, but that's it's an entry level position with room for growth with implementing their new database system. She'll speak to the Chief Registrar if I want to apply. She then goes on to say that she didn't realise I was ready for full-time work (I had mentioned this to her about 3 months ago), but that the Director of Exhibits who works under her, needs a project assistant, and I should come in and talk with her about it. The museum has a 5 year major project where all the exhibits are being revamped, construction work done etc. It's a huge project.

The good - I want to explore exhibit work, as this interests me the most in museums.

The bad - it is full-time, and would change a lot for our family. DS has asked me several times to get work, so he can stay in the school after care and play more. I was just telling someone today that I would probably prefer part-time work so I can be at school for pick-up some days. DH and I have talked about me working and he doesn't leave home until 9am so he could do drop off and I go to work earlier. The commute to the museum takes 45 mins if stuck in traffic. 25 mins if no traffic. It's LA, so expect 45 mins.

I still need to talk to her and find out the details, and there's a chance it could fall through, as it is a govt. funded museum. But if I go in and talk about this, I have to be sure I'm ready for full-time work. If they do have a position, and if I want it, it will be mine. She's the VP of the department and as it's a contract position, she doesn't have to advertise.

So, for those that got through this VERY long post, what are your thoughts? For those that work, would what you suggest for working hours if you were in my position. DS's school after care closes at 5.45, and it's pretty cheap. Hiring a nanny for the afternoons would be more, and museums/libraries staff aren't paid a lot. I know I've had it good in the sense that I can be there every day for pick up, and I love that, but I also want to work. How do I juggle the two, or is that too much to ask?

Thanks if you got this far.

[egoldber]

Um, no. JMO. Tonight is probably not the best night to ask but I am hating every minute of being back at work full time.

The uptick in stress in our household is absolutely astronomical. The amount of planning that needs to happen. Your DH's irregular hours will mean that ALL the work give and take will be on you. It sucks.

Your DS asks for after care, but seriously, he doesn't know what he's asking for. Sarah is a wreck with me being back at work. I know that she is not necessarily typical, but it has been very hard on her and on our family. Amy is tired and cranky all the time and a clingy monster in the evenings.

If the commute is 45 minutes, how will you manage that for pick up and drop off? What would your actual hours be? My hours are very flexible, but it is still impossible for me to do both drop off and pick up in the same day and to also work 8 hours without the kids being in care from 7:30 to 6 every day.

Also consider your vacation time and the travel you do to visit family overseas.

And then don't forget about homework for DS in the upper grades and how your evening will be impacted by getting home late.

As I said, tonight is not the night to ask, but it is sooooooo hard. Sooooo hard.

[Momof3Labs]

It sounds like a fascinating position!

Could you work, say, 7am until 3 or 4pm? Since your DH can drop DS off at school, I'd take advantage of that and start work super early so that you can pick DS up well before dinner time and feel like you have some time together in the evening. I suspect that a schedule like that might ease your commute time a little, too.

[Clarity]

From a WOTH mom, I wouldn't do it. No. I'd give nearly anything to work about 30hrs a week. That would be the perfect work/family balance, IMHO. I have 2 dc and I'm stretched thin with a 40hr work week. Very little except the bare minimum gets done around the house. I have a hallway wall that has been waiting for paint for about 9 months now. Maybe longer. I get about 2 hours an evening to spend with my girls. Nighttimes consist of getting dinner ready, cleaning up after dinner and getting the kids to bed. Packing lunches for the next day and maybe folding the laundry. It's so tediously the same, but we have little time for deviations that are more interesting. I want just a bit more time with the kids, and I want to be home for them after school when they get to that age.
Everyone is different, these are just my feelings about my situation.

[sadie427]

DC wanting to be in aftercare would definitely not be part of my decision. DS seems to always want whatever we're not doing (e.g. aftercare or going home) he goes to aftercare a few days a week and we're phasing it out as my work hours settle out. I don't know how old your DS is (somehow can't see it in your post) but for us one of the reasons for phasing out aftercare is that they don't give the kind of homework help that I think a first grader needs, so we end up getting him home as late as 6 or 6:30 and still needing to do homework. And on early release days, they watch movies (used to do PG movies till I complained.) Overall our aftercare is ok, but it's not like being home and makes it hard to do other after school stuff like music or sports, which becomes more important as they get older. In any case I'd really check it out, talk to parents who use it. DS works from home, so can do pickup, and I have a funky schedule where sometimes I'm home during the week too.

That said, if you think you'll love the job, I'd still do it--but only if you think you'll love the job and can make it work. As a gov't funded museum they should at least give you holidays, vacation time, good benefits?

[pb&j]

I have been full time, and I have been 30 hours. I'm currently in between at 35 hours, and I would love to go back to 30 hours. Truthfully I'd like to be at 2-3 days/wk, but I need to keep 30 hours to maintain benefits as DH is self-employed. WOTH full time is incredibly challenging. There are NEVER enough hours in the day. The house is always a mess, and we eat takeout more than I'd like. Every Dr's appt for the kids means I have to take time off from work. It is always a race to get everybody out the door in the morning and picked up and dinner started in the evening. It's hard to do classes and things on the weekends, as DS really needs his unstructured downtime, and he doesn't get that much during the week.

And it hasn't gotten easier as DS has gotten older - in some ways it's harder. Babies don't really care who holds and changes them. But older kids really need *their parents* there, IMO. You'd better believe that when DS is school-aged that I want to be there every day when the bus drops him off from school.

[Clarity]

WOTH full time is incredibly challenging. There are NEVER enough hours in the day. The house is always a mess, and we eat takeout more than I'd like. Every Dr's appt for the kids means I have to take time off from work. It is always a race to get everybody out the door in the morning and picked up and dinner started in the evening. It's hard to do classes and things on the weekends, as DS really needs his unstructured downtime, and he doesn't get that much during the week.

This is my life. I just hate the pressure and stress of it. I just want to slow it all down just a bit.

[cvanbrunt]

I'd do it in a heartbeat. My DH and I both work full time. I have two kids and commute 50 minutes each direction. DH is responsible for pick-up/drop-off most of the time. I cover when he's traveling. My girls love, love, love, their daycare center/preschool. It closes at 6pm and in 4 years, we have never been late picking them up. I can recall one time we cut it close.
There's no getting around it. Working full-time and raising kids is hard. But, lots and lots of people do it successfully. It adds a layer of complexity at times but I can't imagine not having a professional identity. It would kill me.
This is really a question only you can answer. But, as long as I've been hanging around this board, you've been talking about going back to work. Life does get more complicated and hectic. But we do what we have to do. I have yet to regret or question WOTH. It is who I am. You know what? I'm a great mom and my girls are happy, loving little buggers. Just like your DS. You working won't change that. It might be an adjustment (I wouldn't know, both girls started daycare at about 12 weeks). It's easy to come up with a list of things that will be hard. But, we deal with it.

Your line of work is so cool. I always said if the whole professor thing didn't work out, I'd be a librarian. Museums? How great is that? Good luck!

[stefani]

Hm, if you have a choice... no. There is a price for everything and you really need to weigh what price you are willing to pay.

I had been a WOHM since DS was 8 weeks old, but in May 2009 I was laid off. Now I work contract for the company I used to work for. If they have a project, I get called in. At the same time I am also looking for a job, because weighing all the pluses and minuses, it is best that I work full time.

Now that my DS is in Kindergarten, I am finding that there is more homework than when he was in pre-K. DS still goes to after-school care so he can continue to learn Chinese and gives me more time on my own during the day. I usually pick him up by 6 PM (after-school care closes at 6:30 PM), but there is not much time in the evening for anything other than eat, 30 minutes of homework / lessons, and bedtime routine. I would like him to be in bed, lights out by 7:30 PM, but we are lucky if he makes it by 8:30 PM.

The stress is higher, I really notice that. I am more patient with DS (and with DH) now and I am not so exhausted all the time. I also get to do things in his school, like a math morning for today. That will be very difficult to do if I were working full-time.

If you can swing it, work 20 - 30 hours a week. That I think provides a good balance of career, family, and self. I am an introvert, and I am finding that I don't get much "me" time which is essential for me. Our marriage is paying the price as well, I think.

After all of that, at the moment I am still after a full-time corporate job. There are many reasons, but one major consideration is health insurance. Right now DH cover me, but I went through a lot of hassle to get to this point. In my field, it is also difficult to actually get a part-time job that provides benefits.

Spend some time to really search and weigh the factors. Good luck!

[randomkid]

Hmmm...this is tough. I hate to be discouraging because you sound really excited about this possible job. However, I would have to say no. I work part time, but usually don't get off work until 5:00. My commute to pick up DD is 15 minutes, takes about 15 minutes to pick her up and get in the car, then another 15-20 minutes to get home. This puts us home around 6:00. DD is eating dinner at 6:30 and it's such a rushed evening. After she is in bed, I still have to make lunches, iron my clothes and get things ready for the am. I try to have my breakfast ready, DD's clothes picked out, etc because mornings are so rushed. I was off today for Fall Festival at DD's school. We got home around 3:30 and it was so much more relaxed. Unless you can work hours that put you home by 4:00, I wouldn't do it.

As PPs have said - our house is a wreck, running errands and making appts is difficult and when I just HAVE to stop at the grocery store or run an errand after picking up DD, we sometimes don't get home until 7:00. And, I feel this way only working 20-25 hours/week. I go in late because I have to drop off as well as pick up - DH's work is 45 minutes from DD's school. I have to work 4 days to get 25 hours in, so I'm doing this 3-4 nights a week. My days off are spent cleaning, doing laundry and running errands. I feel fortunate that I have those days and when Thursday night comes, I feel so relieved. I can't imagine having to goi n one more day at that point. As it is, my laundry hampers are overflowing, so I know I'll have at least 4 loads of laundry on Friday!

Sorry to be discouraging, but you can always give it a try if you think you really want to do it. Maybe you should consider part time work before you go straight to full time. I really wanted a position at work last year that would require me to work 35 hours/wk. DH always keeps me grounded by telling me "You can always work. DD will only be little now and she will be grown before you know it". He has told me this many times, and he is right. My stepdaughters needed us a lot when they were little. They are teenagers now and if I didn't have DD, I could easily work full time. If you can do it financially, spend this time with your DS. You can always work later.

FWIW, DD is in preschool and extended day until 5:00 or 5:30. On Mondays, I am off or work a half day, so pick her up early. She is always asking me to pick her up before nap or just after nap. Like a PP said, don't let what your DS says he wants influence you. You need to really play out your schedule in your head and think about the reality of it. If you still think you want to do it after thinking it through, then go for it.

[hez]

If you can work your hours to avoid rush hour, it saves a lot of time & frustration. I work 7-4, so am on the road between DD's DCP's home to work from 6:30-7, and 4-4:30. If I leave 5 minutes late it can add 10-15 minutes to my commute either way, so that consequence forces me to be strict about my hours.

If you can manage a 4 day schedule, even better. I've been 80% since January '04 (minus my year maternity leave for DD). I love that schedule, as it leaves me very balanced overall. I'm bumping up to 90% (every other Friday) for 5 months to get through a big project, so I'll let you know how that goes :tongue5: It lets me volunteer at the school, play an extra day with DD, get laundry & errands done... just makes the weekends more enjoyable.

The after care wouldn't be the sticking point for me, but I will say that DS loves the childcare at his school. He tends to be a quiet kid, so the extra social time seems to have been good for him. He's there for ~1.5 hours before school, and 1 after.

The job opportunity sounds neat. It'd be hard to pass up something that fits what you're looking for if you're ready for it.

[zag95]

I would say no. I have a DD who is 21 mos old- I am in my second yr of FT teaching at an charter school. When DD was born I worked .5 FTE- in a different position. I miss that.

I thought this job might have more flexibility..... it is so stressful. I can't wait for the year to be over- and it's not yet November.

I want to have another child and have already talked to DH about either going PT or staying at home......

If you had the opportunity to work PT- or could negotiate that- I'd do it- then you can have the best of both worlds.

GL with the decision!

[citymama]

If you can find a flexible job, where you can occasionally leave early to pick up DS, take him to doc's appts, etc. it will make such a difference. Jobs with no flexibility are not ideal for parents. I work FT but flexible hours, so distribute my 40 hours as I like to, as long as about 4-5 of those are during regular business hours. I love my work, and I love that it is flexible. If it was regimented, I think I'd have a harder time. And how wonderful that you've been able to be home with your DS til the time when he asks for more time at school! It sounds like a good opportunity. I would press for as much flexibility as possible and if you're ready for it, go for it!

[niccig]

Thanks for all the honest answers. It's what I need to hear.

The trouble I'm having is that I like being there for DS in the afternoon - we either have a play date, hang out at home and have a music class once a week- but I hate all the time at home when he's at school. I have a tonne of house projects I should be doing, but I don't...I'm on the BBB procrstinating. I've always struggled with the "house" part of SAHM. But I do like that I'm not pushed for time, I can have Dr's appts, do the grocery shopping etc.

If I do go back to work, DH can do drop offs. He leaves the house at 9am, so it would mean him getting ready earlier for DS to be at school at 8.45. Currently I do everything for DS in the morning. The morning care at the school starts at 7.30am and it's free, so if he needed to be at work earlier - a rare occasion - he could drop DS off earlier.

The school's after care for DS's class is run by one of his class teachers. Depending on the day, she has 3-4 girls. Because it's pre-K, they don't have after care with the rest of the elementary school. That would start at K.

Financially, me working would help - we can live off DH's salary, and my earnings would be bonus to save more. I've also said I would work for our financial security. DH's job seems secure, but there have been lay-offs at his company of the longest serving editors, as they're paid more than the junior staff. DH is now the most senior editor, and it makes him nervous. He was personally requested for his current project, and to fire him now would anger the client, so he thinks he's secure through April.

DH is supportive of whatever I want to do. We're going to talk more tonight. I think before I can say either way, I need to find out more about the work, especially the hours. A 7-3 or 4, would be more doable than a 9-5. I know that the lady I volunteer with is very flexible with family issues, she's a single mother, but I don't know what the Director of Exhibits would be like, or what the requirements of this job would be. If they need someone who can stay back late helping with installations, well that can't be me. DH finishes work anywhere between 7pm and 2am.

[kijip]

I guess I will be the opposite of a lot of posters. With some flexibility, I really enjoy ft WOTH. Working pt is nice too, but I really have enjoyed working ft. I have done it for most of the last 6 years and 4 months since Toby was born. But there are some caveats:

-I never had a long commute (30 minutes max, most of the time more like 5-10 minutes).

-I have always had a flexible schedule with the option to work compressed schedule or to off-shift my hours. I have always had the option to take the afternoon for a class party or come in late after a doctor's appointment. I have even most of the time had the option to do some work from home.

-I have a husband that is a truly equal contributer with parenting and household work. He is just as likely to take the day off for a sick child, just as likely to go to the pediatrician, just as likely to volunteer at school, and does a full half of the day to day housework and effort.

-We have a simple life with a smallish house so not a lot to clean.

-I have never worked a job with super long hour expectations. Sure there are evening things sometimes, but it's not a get home after 7 or 8Pm every single night type of profession. I can count on my fingers and toes the number of nights I have worked later than 8PM in the last 6 years and that always came with comp time off later on.

I don't think I would be able to manage FT WOTH with a rigid schedule and a long commute. And if I was coming home to a non-equal partner in terms of housework and putting in the classic "second shift" common for WOHMs or if my husband (regardless of willingness to help) worked more than full-time hours and travelled a lot, I know I could not do it.

Ultimately, this is a very personal decision, but if you love the work and can build in some flexibility, I would think you could be very happy with it.

ETA: re-reading the above, I think I have taken a lot of the great things about my profession and work for granted. Until I wrote it out like that, I never realized quite how good I have had it work-wise. If anyone wants a job like I described above (flexible, family friendly, not a lot of overtime etc) and you can handle relatively lower pay, non-profits offer a lot of great advantages. Also, there are a lot of female managers and directors in the non-profit sector and I think that can/maybe even often leads to a more family friendly arrangement. 3-4 weeks off per year on top of sick and holidays is pretty common after 1-3 years with the same employer too in the non-profit sector, in part because they can't pay the same kind of $$, but they can offer time off. Vs. private sector where you have to (usually) put in 15-20 years to get 4 or more weeks of vacation per year.

[ha98ed14]

Nicci, I think you should go for it! I feel like I know where you are coming from because I am much in the same position: being a student I have a lot of flexability, but next semester when I start really teaching, I HAVE to be there. There is no more flexibility. This is the first time I will have to answer to someone about my whereabouts and what I did that day in nearly three years. Yes, I am scared sh!tless that I can't hack it, BUT I need to TRY.

I have expressed my anxiety to DH and he has said this back to me: "So what is the worst that will happen? You will hate it and quit. Or They will hate you and fire you. Neither of those are warm, happy thoughts, but you (I) will be ok." ANd really, he is right. We live off DH's income now without going into debt. I know we can keep doing that. So if I fail, no one will go homeless or hungry.

I think the same is true for you. You live on DH's salary. You know you can do it because you do. So the worst thing that can happen is that you try it and you hate it and quit. The worst, worst thing is that you get fired; but really, you would know it was coming and could quit first.

I am not trying to tell you that you are going to fail; I'm just trying to show you the "backside" of the situation. Worst case scenario is you try it and it doesn't work out. OK, on to the next thing. There will always be something you find interesting because you an intelligent and reflective person. You will never be without something to do unless you want to be. So considering how much potential good can come from the situation, I would go for it. Change is *always* hard. I have found the thoughts of change to my schedule very anxiety provoking, but I know I need to at least try. You've been thinking about working for the museum for a long time. Now is a chance to try it out. You gotta take it!

[vludmilla]

I WOTH and I love my job. It is very flexible and technically, I only need to work 35 hours per week. Despite all of this, I would rather work PT if I had the easy choice to do so. I can leave work at 3 but I rarely do because I can't get everything done by that time but if I need to leave then I can. Even with the early end time and the fact that I only have a 15 min commute, I still feel very frazzled and stressed on many days. If you choose to go FT I would factor in some household help...weekly house cleaning, maybe a drop off laundry service, at least one night a week of prepared food or take out.

[randomkid]

-I have a husband that is a truly equal contributer with parenting and household work. He is just as likely to take the day off for a sick child, just as likely to go to the pediatrician, just as likely to volunteer at school, and does a full half of the day to day housework and effort.

This. My DH doesn't do much around the house. It just doesn't bother him if there is mail stacked up on the counter or toys on the floor. I have tried time and time again to get him to understand. He just doesn't see/doesn't care about the mess. It is very anxiety provoking for me because I know that I will be the one cleaning it all up when I get the chance. I talk to him, he gets better for a couple of weeks, then it always goes back to the way it was. Same for yard work. DH mows the lawn, does the edging and the basics. His idea of weeding is to spray Round Up on the weeds. Then, we just have piles of dead weeds everywhere. I simply don't have time to do it all, so the yard loses out.

If your DH is a big helper around the house, then it's likely more doable. I have a friend at work who comes in at 7:00 because her DH takes the kids to school. She leaves by 2:30 or 3:00 to pick them up. I can see that working. If you are the one doing most everything - cleaning, errands, child care, then it's much more difficult.

[tmarie]

I think you should go for it. I am struggling with the same sort of issue. I really miss working out of the house and having a professional identity, I am bored to tears trying to managing housework and doing the SAHM situation (I'm not gifted at it like many of my friends are), and the extra income would take a lot of pressure off my dh (whose work has been slow due to the economy). We have a great child care provider and my kids both thrive at school, so I think they could transition well. Here's the way I look at it....worst case scenario, you try it. If it doesn't work for you and your family, you can always resign.

tmarie
dd#1 '05
dd#2 '08

[kransden]

I'll give you my take on after-care. For most kids, not all, after-care is their favorite part of the day. They get a snack, crafts and generally free play with their friends. They just don't have a lot of time to be just kids instead of students. Two out of the three after-care programs dd attended had homework help. So she never has homework to do at home. As they get older the social interaction is so important.

[niccig]

I'm going to have the meeting to discuss the position and see what it involves, and if I want to do it. I don't have any information other than it's working for the Director of Exhibits. Once I know more, then I can weigh up the pros and cons and make a decision.

I do know that I'm going to go back to work one day, and I'll have to juggle the work/home situation. I just can't imagine not working until DS is in college.

I'll update and get more advice when I find out more. And this could all be for naught, they may decide they don't have the funding after all.

[squimp]

You've gotten lots of good advice, but I wanted to say, make sure you think of yourself. If it's something you want to do, once you learn about the job, and will give you fulfillment then I'd seriously consider it. I know several people who work 6-2:30 here, and they seem to make it work.

I am lucky that I have been able to swing a part time gig. I always thought I'd go back full time, but with after school activities, and just life, I can't imagine when I'll go back full time.

[citymama]

-I have a husband that is a truly equal contributer with parenting and household work. He is just as likely to take the day off for a sick child, just as likely to go to the pediatrician, just as likely to volunteer at school, and does a full half of the day to day housework and effort.

I don't think I would be able to manage FT WOTH with a rigid schedule and a long commute.

If anyone wants a job like I described above (flexible, family friendly, not a lot of overtime etc) and you can handle relatively lower pay, non-profits offer a lot of great advantages.

This is exactly me! I also have the telecommuting advantage - I think I would go crazy with a long commute.

I know I am lucky as this kind of flexibility is the exception, not the rule for most women. Why are the odds so heavily stacked against working moms?

[egoldber]

Flexibility helps. My job is actually pretty flexible. My boss is EXTREMELY understanding. I work 6:30-3 or 7-3:30. The problem, for me is the commute time, often having little help in the evening (because of DH's travel/schedule) and having to constantly take off work for appointments and school things for the kids.

In the last 2 weeks DH has had to work late or been gone. I've eaten up all the "credit hours" that I have earned coming in a little early some days and am now going to have start using my vacation and sick leave. Which, since I don't get the day after Thanksgiving as a holiday, is 8 hours right there. Nor do I get Christmas Eve off, so there's another, nor the days between Christmas and New Year, so we have to make decisions about visiting family at the holidays vs using up all my vacation time. And I get good leave anyway, 3 weeks to start, plus 2 weeks sick, plus the ability to earn and bank credit hours.

You say the commute is 45 minutes. Is that on a good day, an average day, or the worst possible day? Think about what happens when there is a big accident. What is your back-up plan? These are the things that get me. At 6 am, my commute is 35 minutes. But at 3/3:30 it's 45 minutes on the best day and has taken up to 2 hours (car fire on the Beltway). I would highly suggest driving the route on the hours you are considering. One day I left work at 3, thinking that was plenty of time to meet Sarah's bus at 4:15 and (due to the aforementioned car fire) ended up calling all the people I know on my cell phone so that Sarah did not sit at home alone for an hour. And even if your DS is in aftercare, if it's over at 6, that can still be really hard to meet if you don't leave work until 5.

For me, the devil is in the logistics of balancing the commute, time off for school events, illnesses, doctor appointments, etc. And having a DH unavailable in the evenings when I started my day at 5 am is psychologically HARD. I get home, the kids are needy, Sarah has homework, sometimes an activity like Girl Scouts and it is just hard.

I don't think it's a matter of not working until they are in college, but finding the right type of work in the right location. If I could find something 3 days a week, that would help immensely.

[heatherlynn]

ETA: If anyone wants a job like I described above (flexible, family friendly, not a lot of overtime etc) and you can handle relatively lower pay, non-profits offer a lot of great advantages.

Katie - but how do you find a non-profit job? Some sort of website or job bank for non-profit employment? I feel fortunate that I don't have to work and I want to stay home and my kids want me to stay home. But as they get older, I'd like to do something part-time and I'd like it to be something that makes the world "a better place." Sounds silly I know, but...

OP - sorry to hijack. (where's the shame smiley?)

[kijip]

Katie - but how do you find a non-profit job? Some sort of website or job bank for non-profit employment? I feel fortunate that I don't have to work and I want to stay home and my kids want me to stay home. But as they get older, I'd like to do something part-time and I'd like it to be something that makes the world "a better place." Sounds silly I know, but...

OP - sorry to hijack. (where's the shame smiley?)

Non-profits use the regular job sites, like Craigslist (there is a non-profit page on CLs for these listings). Some also use www.idealist.org You are generally a more appealing candidate if you have non-profit experience but relevant education and comparable work experience, volunteer hours and a well written cover letter can substitute for paid non-profit work experience. If you ever want more info, feel free to PM me. :)

[pb&j]

I guess I will be the opposite of a lot of posters. With some flexibility, I really enjoy ft WOTH. Working pt is nice too, but I really have enjoyed working ft. I have done it for most of the last 6 years and 4 months since Toby was born. But there are some caveats:

-I never had a long commute (30 minutes max, most of the time more like 5-10 minutes).

-I have always had a flexible schedule with the option to work compressed schedule or to off-shift my hours. I have always had the option to take the afternoon for a class party or come in late after a doctor's appointment. I have even most of the time had the option to do some work from home.

-I have a husband that is a truly equal contributer with parenting and household work. He is just as likely to take the day off for a sick child, just as likely to go to the pediatrician, just as likely to volunteer at school, and does a full half of the day to day housework and effort.

-We have a simple life with a smallish house so not a lot to clean.

-I have never worked a job with super long hour expectations. Sure there are evening things sometimes, but it's not a get home after 7 or 8Pm every single night type of profession. I can count on my fingers and toes the number of nights I have worked later than 8PM in the last 6 years and that always came with comp time off later on.

I don't think I would be able to manage FT WOTH with a rigid schedule and a long commute. And if I was coming home to a non-equal partner in terms of housework and putting in the classic "second shift" common for WOHMs or if my husband (regardless of willingness to help) worked more than full-time hours and travelled a lot, I know I could not do it.

Ultimately, this is a very personal decision, but if you love the work and can build in some flexibility, I would think you could be very happy with it.

ETA: re-reading the above, I think I have taken a lot of the great things about my profession and work for granted. Until I wrote it out like that, I never realized quite how good I have had it work-wise. If anyone wants a job like I described above (flexible, family friendly, not a lot of overtime etc) and you can handle relatively lower pay, non-profits offer a lot of great advantages. Also, there are a lot of female managers and directors in the non-profit sector and I think that can/maybe even often leads to a more family friendly arrangement. 3-4 weeks off per year on top of sick and holidays is pretty common after 1-3 years with the same employer too in the non-profit sector, in part because they can't pay the same kind of $$, but they can offer time off. Vs. private sector where you have to (usually) put in 15-20 years to get 4 or more weeks of vacation per year.

Funny thing, but my job/life situation is similar, and I still feel really stressed out by having a full time job. DH is a fully equal contributor, but he does not know how to cook, so any dinners he's responsible for are takeout; he doesn't lactate, so I have to pump at work; and his schedule involves his working nights and weekends, so I'm solo with the kids a lot of the time when I'm not at work.

Also, IIRC, you've not been working full time consistently year after year. For me, it's not so much the day to day, but the persistence and longevity of the pace/schedule that's getting to me. The only time I have had off from a 32-40 hr work week were my maternity leaves - 8 wks w/DS and 12 wks w/DD. IIRC, your work situation in recent years has run the gamut from PT to FT to SAHM.

I will say that it is MUCH easier to work full time when you have a job you like. I was 4 days/wk at my previous position, which I did not like, and was ready to quit. Even now at FT, yes, I feel the stresses and I wish I could go to 30 hrs, but I'm certainly not going to quit over it.

FTR, there are lots of for profit companies that have family-friendly work environments. I have been able to work from home 1 day/wk (and whenever necessary, like snow days), get a small amount of paid time off to attend school activities, and have reasonably flexible hours. I work no overtime, with the exception of a once per year meeting that begins on a Sunday afternoon. I get 17 days vacation/yr, and that will bump up to 22 after 5 yrs. That's in addition to sick time. I work for a very large, multinational, for-profit company.

[kijip]

Also, IIRC, you've not been working full time consistently year after year. For me, it's not so much the day to day, but the persistence and longevity of the pace/schedule that's getting to me.

It's obviously a highly personal decision and people are motivated by a range of needs and factors. But I find it mildly insulting to have my work history questioned by a stranger just because I am happy with working, far happier than I would be at 1/2 time and FAR FAR happier than I would be SAHM, something I have very briefly tried and failed at.

Let's see here Ry- 32-40/wk from 3 weeks pp with T until I dropped to 32 max hours when he was 2 and then was off from work for 4 months after a lay-off, then full-time 10-12 months a year with 25-30 hours/wk during the summer and the ft summer 2008 right up until 2 days before F was born 10 months ago. I call that working full-time most of the last 6+ years since T was born. Right now, I am working 3 days a week at a job that goes ft in 2 months and working 10-15 hours on a separate contract with a different organization. The only thing that prompted me to not return to work ft after a maternity leave with F was the nearly 24-7 care of a dying mother, not caring for a newborn. I would trade ft work after F was born any day of the week for the experience I had then. Add in 5-15 college and post-graduate level credits per quarter for more than 1/2 of that until this last June, not even off the quarters F was delivered and brand new for. I've worked very hard and it would not have been possible for me to do as much school or work and be as satisfied at home without a collision of very fortunate circumstances. I have been very lucky on the whole and feel blessed to have work that I really ended up enjoying. My husband works a swing shift 1-2 days a week and is a putz in the kitchen for dinner, so we eat a lot of pasta with sauces and meats I cooked and he warms up, LOL. Maybe low standards are part of my collision of fortunate circumstances. :)

[pb&j]

I wasn't knocking your work/personal experience, just suggesting that you've had a different scenario than a lot of us who work FT have had - same job, same hours for a looooooong time. It's a whole different mindset, that's all.

[kijip]

I wasn't knocking your work/personal experience, just suggesting that you've had a different scenario than a lot of us who work FT have had - same job, same hours for a looooooong time. It's a whole different mindset, that's all.

I am not seeing your point here. What is a loooooonnnngggg time for you as a WOHM? My oldest is 6 and in the first grade, this whole working mom gig has been essentially 6 of the 11 years I have consistently worked full-time or more since I moved out and started college.

[hanaum02]

I guess I will be the opposite of a lot of posters. With some flexibility, I really enjoy ft WOTH. Working pt is nice too, but I really have enjoyed working ft. I have done it for most of the last 6 years and 4 months since Toby was born. But there are some caveats:

-I never had a long commute (30 minutes max, most of the time more like 5-10 minutes).

-I have always had a flexible schedule with the option to work compressed schedule or to off-shift my hours. I have always had the option to take the afternoon for a class party or come in late after a doctor's appointment. I have even most of the time had the option to do some work from home.

-I have a husband that is a truly equal contributer with parenting and household work. He is just as likely to take the day off for a sick child, just as likely to go to the pediatrician, just as likely to volunteer at school, and does a full half of the day to day housework and effort.

-We have a simple life with a smallish house so not a lot to clean.

-I have never worked a job with super long hour expectations. Sure there are evening things sometimes, but it's not a get home after 7 or 8Pm every single night type of profession. I can count on my fingers and toes the number of nights I have worked later than 8PM in the last 6 years and that always came with comp time off later on.

I don't think I would be able to manage FT WOTH with a rigid schedule and a long commute. And if I was coming home to a non-equal partner in terms of housework and putting in the classic "second shift" common for WOHMs or if my husband (regardless of willingness to help) worked more than full-time hours and travelled a lot, I know I could not do it.

Ultimately, this is a very personal decision, but if you love the work and can build in some flexibility, I would think you could be very happy with it.

ETA: re-reading the above, I think I have taken a lot of the great things about my profession and work for granted. Until I wrote it out like that, I never realized quite how good I have had it work-wise. If anyone wants a job like I described above (flexible, family friendly, not a lot of overtime etc) and you can handle relatively lower pay, non-profits offer a lot of great advantages. Also, there are a lot of female managers and directors in the non-profit sector and I think that can/maybe even often leads to a more family friendly arrangement. 3-4 weeks off per year on top of sick and holidays is pretty common after 1-3 years with the same employer too in the non-profit sector, in part because they can't pay the same kind of $$, but they can offer time off. Vs. private sector where you have to (usually) put in 15-20 years to get 4 or more weeks of vacation per year.

I almost felt like I could have written this response. I agree - I love working and enjoy the time to get away and focus on my "other" (professional) half. But, I too work for a nonprofit, have a flexible schedule (and I'm actually at 90%), and a husband who is an equal contributor. I wish I had the short commute - but unfortunately I don't have that. It sounds like a really exciting opportunity you have. I hope you find out that there might be some flexibility or you can work 7-3 or so. Good luck with whatever you decide!

[egoldber]

Funny thing, but my job/life situation is similar, and I still feel really stressed out by having a full time job.

I do think that different people will feel differently in the same situation. Some people would find my work situation ideal (other than the commute) and I find it very stressful.

I really think it is important not to underestimate the impact of a long commute. It's physically and emotionally draining and when you are the one responsible for pick-up, it adds stress. This is why we are changing our afternoon child care arrangements, even though we are very happy with Amy's daycare. We are yet to get into our elementary school's after care program and so we need someone to be able to reliably meet Sarah after school. And it's an opportunity to get Amy out of a very long child care day which is really draining for her.

[sste]

Niccig, I didn't have time to read all the posts but I def. think its worth considering. Sometimes when you are stuck with job stuff or just feeling stuck generally, you need to throw yourself out there into the universe and see what comes up. It may not even be the job you take but something you realize you love about the job or someone you meet who opens a professional door. It sounds like this has already happened with your volunteer work.

In your position, I might ask them if it would be an option to take the position on a 30 hour per week basis. Say you are willing to work full-time for 2-4 weeks for training but then would prefer 30 hours. Since this is a contract position (??), they may be more flexible and for all you know they have a strained budget and might appreciate paying a little less.

I love my job, but I do wish I could work part-time to spend more time with DS and reduce family stress - - for me 3/4 time would be perfect.

[mommylamb]

I work full time, and while I would love to work 30 hours a week, given the choice between being a SAHM for an extended period of time and a FT WOHM, I'd still work. My mind went to mush when I was on maternity leave for 3 months, and I just hated that. I like working. that said, to do it successfully you really need a few things:
* A DH that does his share of the work around the house
* Some flexibility from your office
* Really good childcare

Even with those things, it's still incredibly hard. So many times, I've seen SAHMs on these boards writein and say that they have the hardest job in the world. Well, I beg their pardon. I find that statement so amazingly offensive. Everyone has to do what's best and feasible for their family, but it is tactless to say that because they have no idea how hard it is to work and be a mom. There are different challenges when you work and when you stay home, but working means you have far more on your plate.

I'm very lucky because I do love my job. I also have a lot of flexibility when needed. I get in around 8:30 and I leave around 4:45, which is a short day in my field. I usually eat at my desk or have work-related lunches. But, today, DS is sick, and I'm working a half day from home. I have a boss that allows that sort of thing, and that's nice. I also get more than ample vacation time.

On the other hand, I was travelling for work earlier this week, and DS got sick while I was gone. DH had to deal with vomiting child on his own, which is tough.

In your case, I think I would give it a shot and see how it goes. You can always quit if it's not working.

[arivecchi]

I work full time and would not want it any other way. My situation is pretty ideal. I have a nanny so I don't deal with taking the kids anywhere. I hop on a bus and get to my job in 15-20 minutes while I read the paper. Same thing on the way home. I love that I get time to myself during the day to work out, interact with adults and exercise my mind - not to mention put my degrees to good use. I would never stay at home because I would go crazy. I think the answer will hinge on whether you are the kind of person who thrives at home or outside the home. You seem to have a great set-up in terms of the after-care program and the interseting job opportunity. Having extra income and financial security would clinch it for me. I would definitely go for it. You can always re-consider the decision later on if it is not working out.

[lfp2n]

I think the commute is the killer unless you have a rock solid back-up system or a nanny you can be late on.
I work full time, and I love it, but I'm lucky because my office is 10 mins walk from DDs elementary school and 15 mins walk from home, and my DH has the same job in the same building. It takes the stress off that we know we can always get home at the time we need to, or pick DD up quickly when she's sick.

[squimp]

I think the commute is the killer unless you have a rock solid back-up system or a nanny you can be late on.
I work full time, and I love it, but I'm lucky because my office is 10 mins walk from DDs elementary school and 15 mins walk from home, and my DH has the same job in the same building. It takes the stress off that we know we can always get home at the time we need to, or pick DD up quickly when she's sick.

I have to agree - the commute is a huge deal. My commute is about 7 minutes (12 by bike) and DH works right across the street. I know that I could zip to school in minutes if I needed to. Both of us have flexible jobs and when one of us is gone we have some support (after-care, SAHM friends who schedule playdates with us). Also, if DH was gone or inaccessible a lot, that would make it much harder.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

I WOHM full-time and have the entire time I've had children. My oldest is 5 and in Kinder this year and I have to say that the move to school this year has made working a lot harder for me. I would love to work less, but right now that's not feasible.

All in all, I think our family has it pretty good. I take both kids with me to the elementary school, which starts at 8, and then DH meets me there around 8 and picks up the younger one and takes him to his daycare while I head to work. It takes me about 25-30 min, so I get there just after 8:30. I leave right at 5 so I can pick up the younger son and some days the older son before 6. It's solid driving, picking up, etc, until we get home at 6. Then we have to fit in homework, soccer practice, dinner, baths, stories, etc. all in 2 hours! That's stress. My DH usually cooks dinner and we try to be eating by 7. My older son is pretty tired out these days, still adjusting to school, and I wish I could be there an hour earlier when's he not so cranky and tired.

Our aftercare is amazing and my son loves it, so no worries there. It was just easier when I had both kids in the same place all day long and I didn't have to worry about activities and whatever.

We have a cleaner, so we don't do any bathroom cleaning, sweeping, etc., unless it's absolutely needed. DH does the dishes after the kids go to bed. I do the laundry on the weekend. We have a pretty good split, I think.

Also, our jobs are really flexible and I volunteer in my son's class once a month. I can take my kids to the doctor without any issue.

What I do stress about is leaving at 5 every day. Most people stay later. I have to leave, though.

Anyways, mom working has been good for our family. It allows both DH & I to be involved and share the load and it takes stress off in this time of layoffs and cutbacks, knowing that we have the 2nd job.

That said, I am really looking forward to a break. I have 8 weeks off paid coming up in June (sabbatical) and I can't wait!

[niccig]

Thanks everyone.
I agree that the commute is the killer. 45 minutes would be a bad day for traffic, but if there's an accident it would take a lot longer. DH and I talked and we agreed that if I have to commute, I would need to leave at 4pm at the latest. That would give me 1 hr 45 mins to get to DS. It's actually not far in miles, it's just LA traffic.

I agree that you need to have flexibility if you want to work. Part-time I think would be ideal, but my SIL who works part-time said that she feels she's split between work and home and never gets anything done in either place. My friend who works from home says she's just as stressed as when worked full-time, as she's juggling the kids and work demands, but it's different stress. I don't know if there's a good answer.

I'll update if anything more comes of this position.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

Good luck with the position!

[mominmarch]

I'd do it in a heartbeat. My DH and I both work full time. I have two kids and commute 50 minutes each direction. DH is responsible for pick-up/drop-off most of the time. I cover when he's traveling. My girls love, love, love, their daycare center/preschool. It closes at 6pm and in 4 years, we have never been late picking them up. I can recall one time we cut it close.
There's no getting around it. Working full-time and raising kids is hard. But, lots and lots of people do it successfully. It adds a layer of complexity at times but I can't imagine not having a professional identity. It would kill me.
.... Life does get more complicated and hectic. But we do what we have to do. I have yet to regret or question WOTH. It is who I am. You know what? I'm a great mom and my girls are happy, loving little buggers. Just like your DS. You working won't change that. It might be an adjustment (I wouldn't know, both girls started daycare at about 12 weeks). It's easy to come up with a list of things that will be hard. But, we deal with it.

Your line of work is so cool. I always said if the whole professor thing didn't work out, I'd be a librarian. Museums? How great is that? Good luck!

This is where I am too. Both my DH and I WOTH. I have a nanny for 48 hours a week, my husband probably works about 50 hours a week. Would less hours be idea? Yes, and so would winning the lottery. But neither of our jobs are in areas that we can work less and still have the professions that we have. Our DD is thriving, we have the most incredible nanny who is really very much part of our family. We all ride with it. Is the house a mess? Yea, but I hate housework anyway, in some ways, working outside the home full time is a nice excuse :)

[egoldber]

I have to say that the move to school this year has made working a lot harder for me.

For me, this is a big part of it. Sarah typically has an hour or so of homework every night (a lot more this year than last year) plus long term assignments that she needs help managing. And having the kids in two different locations is hard.

[almostmom]

There are a lot of great experiences here, and as you can see, a variety of opinons!

I just want to add that I don't think you have to know if the job is right for you before you go in and meet with the supervisor. You can go in confident and excited, but also asking questions. It shows you are smart and taking this seriously. You won't have to say yes or no at that meeting. I also think that if she likes you, you can share that you are extremely excited about this opportunity (which I personally think sounds FABulous), and (not but) you were wondering if there was any possibility of it being 30 or 35 hours a week, because then it would be an absolute yes for you. Or ask if you could work from home one day a week. If they think you're the right person, they just might be flexible on this. Especially if you convince them you are a hard worker, and that you know you can get the job done in less hours, or finish at home if you need to.

I work 32 hours - 4 days - for a non-profit, and I do think it's perfect. I also only have a 15 minute commute, but I have to do drop-off and pick-up because DH has a long commute.

I will say that, on the other hadn, now that DS is in K, I look at the SAHM and think their life looks really good! I would so love to have a clean house, yummy home cooked dinners on the table every night, time to read books and do projects. So it's hard to understand, for me, giving up free time when it's not necessary! But that is totally a perspective thing, as I don't have the choice. It's wonderful that you have a desire to work outside of the home, to do something for yourself, and the world beyond. I think if you have that desire, your kids will see a happier you if you pursue it, and that is a good thing.

At the end of the day, I SO look forward to picking up my kids, putting work behind me and getting home. And I think I appreciate it more because I work. Dinners are not fancy and often from the freezer for them, and DH and I usually eat much later, as our dinners take more time to cook. Playdates are sort of non-existent, but that's fine with me - they get lots of friend play time at school and after school. These are just the things to consider.

If you took the job, it wouldn't have to be forever. You could say you'll try it for a year, and see.

Just my random thoughts... good luck with this decision.

[maestramommy]

First off, I'm chuckling that your DS actually told you to get a job so he could stay in school longer to play:p At this point, if your Dh could do drop off, enabling you to work a full day and still be able to pick up your DS I'd strongly consider it. Unless you are thinking of having another kid very soon (I *think* you mentioned DS was it?). I know if I were in your situation I'd probably jump at the chance because it seems like good timing AND an easy way to get back in the door.

ETA: Just wanted to add that if you do take the job, get a cleaning lady:D After a long day at work, it will probably help your frame of mind to come home to a clean space.

[niccig]

First off, I'm chuckling that your DS actually told you to get a job so he could stay in school longer to play:p At this point, if your Dh could do drop off, enabling you to work a full day and still be able to pick up your DS I'd strongly consider it. Unless you are thinking of having another kid very soon (I *think* you mentioned DS was it?). I know if I were in your situation I'd probably jump at the chance because it seems like good timing AND an easy way to get back in the door.

I take it as a good sign that DS likes school and the assistant teacher that does the After School care. BUT if he was to do it everyday, I don't think he he would feel the same IYKWIM.

I'm just going to see what they say, and it might all fall through, so I'm not getting hopes up. Actually, working at the Pacific Asia Museum in Pasadena would be what I would want as it's close and I did a double history major in Asian History, speak Japanese, lived in Japan etc. But no jobs going there. I'll keep watching their job site, and I should see about volunteering to get to know people there.

That's the one attractive thing about the Natural History Museum, as I volunteer with someone high up in management, she knows my work and would consider me for a job despite lack of museum studies Masters. So, it could be easier to move over into different job area working for her.

I also got an email about a part-time librarian job in Alhambra. They told me 2 weeks ago that it was tentatively filled, but then emailed me today for some more information, so who knows. I'll just keep putting feelers out.

[maestramommy]

I'm just going to see what they say, and it might all fall through, so I'm not getting hopes up. I volunteer at the Natural History Museum by the Science Center/USC. Actually, working at the Asia Pacific Museum in Pasadena would be what I would want as it's close and I did a double history major in Asian History, speak Japanese, lived in Japan etc. But no jobs going there. I'll keep watching their job site, and I should see about volunteering to get to know people there.

That's the one attractive thing about the Natural History Museum, as I volunteer with someone high up in management, she knows my work and would consider me for a job despite lack of museum studies Masters. So, it could be easier to move over into different job area working for her.


Okay, I'm getting excited for you:cheerleader1: I want to say that at 4pm, you'd be going against traffic to pick up your DS, but depending on the freeway, L.A is just notorious for not following the rules. ;)

[niccig]

Okay, I'm getting excited for you:cheerleader1: I want to say that at 4pm, you'd be going against traffic to pick up your DS, but depending on the freeway, L.A is just notorious for not following the rules. ;)

At 4pm from the museum I'd be going on the 110 East to Pasadena through downtown which is always jammed. But once you get past the 10 and 101 connectors, the 110 seems to flow pretty well. I need to stay on the 110 all the way until Arroyo Blvd. DS is at Waverly School, so that's by Fair Oaks/Del Mar. If I was to do this, I would need to have buffer time built into the commute. I know it sucks, but it's better than my commute from Burbank out to UCLA. The 101/405 is just crazy regardless of time/day. Maybe here in LA, we're all just use to awful traffic.

The Alhambra job would be easy to get to, get on Fair Oaks and take surface streets to/from DS's school. It's p/t as well. It's traditional library job, but it's a sole librarian position, and that would be challenging to call the shots and not have to report to library director.

[maestramommy]

At 4pm from the museum I'd be going on the 110 East to Pasadena through downtown which is always jammed. But once you get past the 10 and 101 connectors, the 110 seems to flow pretty well. I need to stay on the 110 all the way until Arroyo Blvd. DS is at Waverly School, so that's by Fair Oaks/Del Mar. If I was to do this, I would need to have buffer time built into the commute. I know it sucks, but it's better than my commute from Burbank out to UCLA. The 101/405 is just crazy regardless of time/day. Maybe here in LA, we're all just use to awful traffic.

The Alhambra job would be easy to get to, get on Fair Oaks and take surface streets to/from DS's school. It's p/t as well. It's traditional library job, but it's a sole librarian position, and that would be challenging to call the shots and not have to report to library director.

I used to commute from Torrance to Pasadena on the 110. What I did was, I stayed on Figueroa for most of the time. When I was going N, I got off on Manchester, and didn't get back on until I passed Chinatown. If you stay on Fig, it will go right back into the 110. The whole commute always took a solid hour, but it was PREDICTABLE, even on rainy days. As a teacher I couldn't afford not knowing when I was going to get to work.

[niccig]

I used to commute from Torrance to Pasadena on the 110. What I did was, I stayed on Figueroa for most of the time. When I was going N, I got off on Manchester, and didn't get back on until I passed Chinatown. If you stay on Fig, it will go right back into the 110. The whole commute always took a solid hour, but it was PREDICTABLE, even on rainy days. As a teacher I couldn't afford not knowing when I was going to get to work.

Taking Figueroa is a good idea. I get on the 110 at Expositon Park, and it's always backed up from about there until China Town - it's the 10/101 interchanges and everyone from Down Town trying to get on the on ramps. Once passed China Town it's normally pretty clear all the way until Pasadena isn't it???

[saschalicks]

I live in LA and so understand your traffic issues. I have to leave work at 5 PM to be able to pick up 3 children in 1 hour who are all in a 5 mi radius. It's the traffic that does me in.

I will say the 1 thing that Beth brings up is how I feel right now: things will be so hard for the children when there's homework to do and only 1.5 hours until bedtime. I would say that if you can do PT work go for it, but FT work is very tough on the family unless you have a FT nanny or something like that.

Beth I have to tell you that your stories about Sarah and the situation your in, is where I'll be. I know I will b/c DS1 is a lot like Sarah. DH & I have talked extensively about it, but there's no way I cannot work. I carry the benefits on top of my salary contributing to the household budget. If I had the option to work PT and our family would be OK I'd do it in a heartbeat. On top of it all this economic times have made it so hard for DH to look for a higher paying job.

[AnnieW625]

At 4pm from the museum I'd be going on the 110 East to Pasadena through downtown which is always jammed. But once you get past the 10 and 101 connectors, the 110 seems to flow pretty well. I need to stay on the 110 all the way until Arroyo Blvd. DS is at Waverly School, so that's by Fair Oaks/Del Mar. If I was to do this, I would need to have buffer time built into the commute. I know it sucks, but it's better than my commute from Burbank out to UCLA. The 101/405 is just crazy regardless of time/day. Maybe here in LA, we're all just use to awful traffic.

The Alhambra job would be easy to get to, get on Fair Oaks and take surface streets to/from DS's school. It's p/t as well. It's traditional library job, but it's a sole librarian position, and that would be challenging to call the shots and not have to report to library director.

What about the Gold Line? Can't you take the Gold Line to the Red Line? Are you talking about working at LACMA? I have never understood how easily the 110 is once you are past the 10/101. I used to spend summers in high school up in East Pasadena (Hastings Ranch) with my Grandparents, and a cousin who lived in San Marino so we basically lived on the 110 anytime we went to LA. If we didn't have the Blue Line in my area I would never consider a job in downtown LA (thankfully I work in Santa Ana). Friends of mine love it.

Now as far as the full time working thing goes, it's all I know. I have worked full time since four days after I finished college at the age of 22. I like working outside the home. I was off work for four days before I had Elisa, and was off for four months pp. Would love to do the same with this one. Sure I'd like it to be part time, but right now it's not available. I work for the state government and that has it's perks so I have stayed for soo long (I've been employed with them since I was a college student in 1999! 10 yrs. goes by soo fast!). I know once DD starts elementary school in two years it's going to be different, but right now it works for us. DH also works for the state and works pretty strict 8:30 to 5:00 schedule and does travel every couple of months. So far it hasn't really been a problem. I am blessed with a boss who also has kids and as long as we get our work done daily he's flexible with our schedules.

You need to pick the job that works best for you, and your DS might be ready for after school care, esp. if his good friends from school are staying. Good luck!

[niccig]

What about the Gold Line? Can't you take the Gold Line to the Red Line? Are you talking about working at LACMA? I have never understood how easily the 110 is once you are past the 10/101. I used to spend summers in high school up in East Pasadena (Hastings Ranch) with my Grandparents, and a cousin who lived in San Marino so we basically lived on the 110 anytime we went to LA. If we didn't have the Blue Line in my area I would never consider a job in downtown LA (thankfully I work in Santa Ana). Friends of mine love it.



It's by USC and the Science Center, just past down town on the 110. It's about 10 miles from my house, but with our traffic that can take anywhere from 20-60 mins. DS is in school in Pasadena. Next time I'm in there to volunteer, I'm going to try Melinda's suggestion of taking Figeora through downtown rather than the 110, and getting back on at China Town. It's just that stretch through down town where it gets backed up.

[Aishe]

I think what might surprise you is how bad traffic can be in Pasadena proper. I used to drive from Pasadena to La Canada in evening rush hour and it took a full 15 minutes just to get to the freeway. That's not to discourage you - because it sounds like it could be a great opportunity - but just to give you more info about the commute.

[niccig]

I think what might surprise you is how bad traffic can be in Pasadena proper. I used to drive from Pasadena to La Canada in evening rush hour and it took a full 15 minutes just to get to the freeway. That's not to discourage you - because it sounds like it could be a great opportunity - but just to give you more info about the commute.

Yep, I know this has to be taken into account. I have no problem with traffic picking DS up at 2.45, but one day we go back through Pasadena to a music class in Arcadia. I have to get off the 134 freeway at Del Mar and take surface streets across. Yep, traffic just plain sucks in this town. If this jobs comes through, I will drive the afternoon commute as a test.

[AnnieW625]

deleted as I mis read your message the first time.

[C99]

I just went back to work full-time after 5+ years of working only part-time/project-based. My perspective is fairly limited because I'm still in the honeymoon phase of the RTW process.

Partially for continuity of care reasons and partially for money reasons, we have a nanny for only 30 hours/week. My DH takes the kids to school in the morning, picks my DD up from preschool, and does some shopping in the mornings. He works from noon until 8 or 9 at night. He's got the full morning shift and I've got the full evening shift, which can be stressful. But, so far, it is working. It also helps that my DH has worked from home most of the time for the past 6 years, so we are all used to him being around, having a flexible work schedule, and being a very involved co-parent. He still leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor after he showers, but it annoys me less now that he's responsible for keeping the fridge stocked. ;-)

I was not actively looking to work FT when I started interviewing, so I didn't tell the kids that I might be going to work until I was moderately certain that I'd get an offer. When I did, they all complained about having to go into aftercare, have a sitter, etc. Even though a year ago, my DD was asking if she could have a babysitter like her neighbor-friend and DS1 was begging to go into aftercare. BTW, I gave him a choice between our nanny at home after school and aftercare and he chose aftercare. And he likes it -- so far, at least.

I think you really have to evaluate how much you want to do the work itself, and everything else will fall into line. But maybe I am just simplifying things and am overly optimistic. I have only been back in an office for 2 months, but I really enjoy my job. In my ideal world, I'd work a 36-hour week so that I could still be an active, in-touch part of my kids' school (I volunteer a ton, but it's now all off-site), but I'm willing to pay my dues for a couple of years so that I can make that happen.

[C99]

Katie - but how do you find a non-profit job? Some sort of website or job bank for non-profit employment? I feel fortunate that I don't have to work and I want to stay home and my kids want me to stay home. But as they get older, I'd like to do something part-time and I'd like it to be something that makes the world "a better place." Sounds silly I know, but...

OP - sorry to hijack. (where's the shame smiley?)

And if you have a non-profit job, how can you afford childcare on the salary or hourly wage that a non-profit pays?

[egoldber]

And if you have a non-profit job, how can you afford childcare on the salary or hourly wage that a non-profit pays?

I don't know about non-profits specifically, but this was my issue as well. Because of the nature of DH's work, even if I went back part time, I would probably still need almost "full time" child care (because of his travel schedule). So being able to afford that really limited the types of jobs I could consider.

I will be more flexible once Amy is in all day school as well. But because my kids are 5 years apart, but 6 years apart in the school system, they will be in different schools every year except one.