How to tell sitter w/out offending/hurting feelings...

[wendibird22]

to stop feeding my kid such sugar laden foods?

DD (2yrs) has been going to the same home daycare since she was 3mos old. We really like this women and the small group of other children there. These are all kids of teachers who are DHs coworkers. The sitter has always been very receptive to our requests over the years in dealing with diaper rash and food sensitivities, etc. We have a notebook that goes back and forth each day with DD so that the sitter logs meals, snacks, naps, BMs, etc and we can communicate in writing other requests, early pick up days, etc.

So, in recent months I've noticed an increase in junky food being given to DD. We are not ultra strict at home but DD generally gets very few treats, little to no juice, etc. Honestly, the most sugary thing she gets on occasion is a low fat granola bar w/ choc chips. No cookies. No ice cream. No sugar kids cereals. But at the sitters this week alone she's gotten a cookie at snack on two days, a pop tart at breakfast and fruit loops at breakfast. Yeah, that's in just 3 days. I really don't mind the occasional treat if it's a kid's birthday or a holiday party, but I think all the sugar is just too much.

So, how do I tell her to cut back on the crap and not offend her? DH does drop off and pick up and I'm not sure how comfortable he'd feel speaking with her in person about it...not to mention it's usually a mad house of other people dropping off/picking up so I'm not sure that's even a good time for her to get the clear message. But, I also worry about just writing her in the book. I'd be happy to offer to send DD with food/snacks of her own so that she doesn't feel like she has to buy different things just for our kid. DH and I do wonder if the economy is playing a role here. Her DH lost his job and is doing contract work so their income is in flux and perhaps this junk is cheaper??

I know I am the parent and I'm paying this woman and I should probably just be direct and say that I'm concerned with the sugar content of the food she's getting, request that she not get more than 1 or 2 "treats" a week and then send her with some food/snacks...just be direct and to the point. But, I'd hate to hurt this woman's feelings. We really do like her and want to keep a good relationship through the rest of the school year. Next year DD will be going to preschool so we won't be returning after June.

[Melaine]

Does she provide all the food? I think I might try to change the arrangement so that you are bringing the food for your DD. If the other parents don't have a problem with it, she may be going with inexpensive and convenient snacks. If you go that route then you don't have to hurt her feelings at all. Just tell her that your family is trying to make some healthier choices so you are sending those along with her so she can stay on the healthy food wagon while at DC. Just a thought....
Definitely wouldn't be ok with my toddler getting that kind of diet though!

[egoldber]

I would just tell her that you would prefer your DD to receive less sugary snacks and provide some suggestions: plain Cheerios vs Fruit Loops, etc. You may also want to tell her that store brands are OK with you since they are considerably cheaper.

[wendibird22]

Does she provide all the food? I think I might try to change the arrangement so that you are bringing the food for your DD. If the other parents don't have a problem with it, she may be going with inexpensive and convenient snacks. If you go that route then you don't have to hurt her feelings at all. Just tell her that your family is trying to make some healthier choices so you are sending those along with her so she can stay on the healthy food wagon while at DC. Just a thought....
Definitely wouldn't be ok with my toddler getting that kind of diet though!

She offers breakfast, lunch, and an afternoon snack and provides all the food. I used to not be concerned about what was offered. Breakfast was often cheerios, bagel w/ peanut butter, oatmeal, etc. And snack was usually fruit, a fruit bar, etc. It's only been recently that it's turned into sugary cereals and cookies. Not sure why the change. I'm also wondering if I send food will DD even want to eat it because she'll see all the others eating the "good stuff". How do you get your kid to eat an apple if everyone else has a cookie?

DH was going to informally chat with a few of the other parents to see what their take is on the food. Maybe if other parents are feeling the same way we can approach it collectively.

[sste]

I am voting for a combination of Beth's and Melaine's suggestion. When I looked at the food pattern, it seemed like 50% of the problem was coming from breakfast. Why don't you buy a low sugar box of cereal and bring it in to her labeled with your daughter's name. That will solve half the problem right there. Then, you can see how often the snack issue arises and if you need to address it.

My son's new preschool/daycare follows some very strict govt guidelines for food but they have what my husband and I now refer to as Junky Friday - - the kids get things like french fries and they get one hour of tv (educational programming) on Fridays. I would be upset if this was happening every day but once a week we think its fun for DS. Maybe you can suggest a system like this to your provider where your DD gets a special treat on Fridays only.

Last, a little white lie can be helpful. Tell her you are especially worried about this because you have a family history of medical problems related to sugar/eating habits so you want to be extra-careful with DD.

[wendibird22]

Last, a little white lie can be helpful. Tell her you are especially worried about this because you have a family history of medical problems related to sugar/eating habits so you want to be extra-careful with DD.

Yeah, I thought about: "my pediatrician said..."

Oh and what makes this even more curious is the fact that she signed up for a program where a health person comes in every Wednesday to talk about nutrition and healthy activities with the kids. One week they learned about green/go foods (healthy stuff), and yellow/caution foods (sugar and fat). Wishing my kid was old enough to point out to the sitter all the yellow foods!

[JustMe]

I am not like this is most cases, but when it comes to childcare and related situations, I am all for the little white lies. It is so important not to offend the people who take care of our kids, yet make sure our kids' needs and our families' neesd are met.

[MamaMolly]

I think it might be best to mention that you noticed that the breakfasts have changed recently, and that they seem to have more refined sugar in them than you are comfortable with. Then offer to send in breakfast cereal, bagels, crackers, etc. for snacks. You can even send in more natural versions of poptarts, so you don't have to worry about DD feeling left out.

But on that note, IME they don't compare food at this age. My DD has food allergies and when we go to a birthday party or out to eat for a celebration where I know dessert will be offered I pack her a home made dessert. It never looks like what the hostess is serving, but she doesn't care. Meaning she cares she got a cupcake, she doesn't care that she has to eat that instead of birthday cake. I don't think they start comparing really until they get older, like in first grade.

I can't imagine she'd be offended. This is your child and you get to have a say (THE say) in what she eats. If it is an economic issue she may well appreciate the donations!

[ha98ed14]

I would "own" the problem on your end and lie :) to avoid offending the sitter. I would say something like, "We are having some trouble getting DD to bed. We are trying to adjust her diet and cut out the extra sugar. Could you please give DD these snacks/ grains/ fruit wraps/ whatever instead of poptarts and cookies? Thanks!" And then send a bag of what you want DD to have. If it works out well, then just buy a box or 2 of the things you want DD to have and give to sitter to keep at her house. That way you don't make her feel like a bad caregiver for giving your kid heaps of refined sugar.

BTW, I doubt that money is a factor. Poptarts and name brand cereal are EXPENSIVE!

[Globetrotter]

Blame it on your doctor. I find that people pay attention when you say the doctor wants you to do it :)

[tiapam]

It could be that she has a range of items available (especially at breakfast where it is no big deal to offer more than one choice) and your DD is just now starting to try new things or voice her preference.

[DrSally]

I like pp's suggestions. One question, in this state, I believe, if you're a licensed daycare provider, you need to provide healthy food (I think there are guidelines).

[tmarie]

DH was going to informally chat with a few of the other parents to see what their take is on the food. Maybe if other parents are feeling the same way we can approach it collectively.

I would hesitate on this approach because she might feel a bit ganged up on.

However, I would highly recommend the harmless white lie that I have used in the past...."we have a family history of childhood diabetes and the pediatrician recommends we be extremely careful about dc's sugar intake..." You could offer to bring food for your dc, but she might just rethink her own menu as a result.

GL!

tmarie