Potential nanny wants to bring her own children, what do I offer to pay her?

[cdlamis]

I posted an ad on CL for a part-time nanny- $12/hr for 3 kids. I was super hesitant to do so but was running out of leads. One woman called me and we hit it off- she has similar parenting styles and sounds like a perfect fit for us. But, she would need to bring her 2 kids (ages 1 and 8).

1- would you go for something like this? I would prefer a nanny with undivided attention but I might not find anyone like this potential nanny.

2- What do I offer to pay? I assume she wouldn't get the full amount I offered since its almost like a nanny share (the other kids being her own). Maybe I'm wrong?

I am meeting with her this afternoon so any suggestions would be so appreciated!!
TIA~

ETA- Should have clarified the arrangement.

This situation is only for 1-2 days a week (max of 12 hrs/week). My DD is in school and have to be picked up on those days which is why I want a nanny who can just walk to the school- I don't want to deal with cars and car seats. This particular nanny would be walking (not driving) from school. Due to the few hrs needed, there won't be any extra duties (driving to activities, shopping, etc)- just hanging out at home or the park.

Yes, my concern is the 2 babies and how that will work. The other 2 kids are easy (IMO). Her 8 yr old would be with her most of the time as well (homeschooling).

I might try and see if it works. I hope it will- my other prospects aren't looking good. :)

Thanks for all the feedback so far.

[sste]

I would be very reluctant to have one person supervising five kids, especially if one of them is a one year old. I just don't think you are going to be happy at any price with this arrangement in the long-run.

Also, I know these things vary greatly by region, but in my area (Chicago) $12 per hour would be very low for three kids. So, I am not sure on the pay that the nanny will go any lower, even bringing her kids, if your market is anything like mine.

[egoldber]

Is her 8 year old in school? How will that work? Or is your job not during the week or after school hours?

[jenfromnj]

I would be very reluctant to have one person supervising five kids, especially if one of them is a one year old. I just don't think you are going to be happy at any price with this arrangement in the long-run.

Also, I know these things vary greatly by region, but in my area (Chicago) $12 per hour would be very low for three kids. So, I am not sure on the pay that the nanny will go any lower, even bringing her kids, if your market is anything like mine.

I agree with the reluctance--especially since she and you both have children one and under, with 5 children total. I personally would not feel comfortable under those circumstances--possibly if all the kids were older, I'm not sure. It may be worthwhile to meet her though, since everyone's take on that will be different.

I also agree about the pay, but I live in a high COL area, so my opinion may not be worth much there.

[maylips]

I hear what you're saying about maybe not being able to find anyone else, but my main concern would be that her children would always be the priority (which is completely understandable) so there's the real possibility that your kids will come second, if that makes sense. OTOH, I guess it would give your kids some playmates too. I am NOT nanny material, but I find when I volunteer in our church nursery I have a hard time separating myself from being DD's mom and playing with the other kids. Just something to think about.

As far as pay, did she indicate she'd be open to negotiating since she's able to bring her kids with her to work? Essentially, that's what you're providing - a daycare for her, because she'd have to pay for childcare if she were going to work in an office. So I would think you could pay less, but I don't know. If it's that competitive for nannies in your area, maybe you can't afford to take that chance of losing her.

[ha98ed14]

I had this arrangement for a little over a year on the days I went to class. DD was 6 mo to 18 mo and my sitter had one DS 4 months older. It worked out because there were only 2 kids for her to watch. I paid her the going rate for one child in group daycare (family/ home) which was $35/ day. I didn't pay her like a private nanny because she wasn't one. She was, in my mind, a very small group daycare. So I would base my rates on that. What would be the cost for 2 DC in full day care and one in after school care in a small family daycare in your area? Maybe a little extra if she is coming to your house.

But I have to admit, I would never go for the situation you are describing. I don't care how great of a parent you are, watching 5 kids is exhausting and you just don't have that many eyes or hands.

[squimp]

I would consider it if there weren't two babies in the mix. My daughter would absolutely love having 5 kids around.

[truly scrumptious]

In DS's daycare, they have a ratio of two caregivers to every 7 kids (basically 3.5 kids per caregiver) and that only works well when there are actually two of them in the room, so one has her hands free while another one might be changing a diaper, etc.
I would not go for a ratio any higher than that for all the reasons PPs have mentioned.

[melrose7]

I was a nanny for a family for 11 years and during that time I got married and had my 2 kids. It was never a problem for them and my pay never decreased after my kids were born. They were 5 and 7 so older and in school part of the time. but i had to take the kids to all their activities do the shopping and kids laundry plus other odd and ends stuff. i was more than capable to watch all the kids and never felt that the kids i watched were affected. the parents loved having my kids around too. now when i left this year (they needed someone to live in with them now) i knew I wasn't going to get a job with my 2 kids (and expecting) and make the same amount of money. I was able to build up that respect and responsibility from being with them for 7 years before I had my own family. So I would say she should be able to handle all the kids and would pay her a little less than the going rate and if it works out and you are happy with it you can always give her a raise. Because of my great reference I was able to get a 3 families in my own home and people know I can handle a lot of kids on my own.

[egoldber]

The three older kids may play very nicely togther and need relatively little direct supervision if they get along well. So that could be a plus.

I think it is worth a trial to see how it goes. But if the kids need to be picked up and driven around, I would be concerned about the logistics of that.

[codex57]

My wife's culture has families with a lot of kids. And one person often takes care of other peoples' kids as well.

It can be done. Worth a trial, but make it clear you want a trial basis for a little just so she's clear about your concerns.

[wendibird22]

I paid her the going rate for one child in group daycare (family/ home) which was $35/ day. I didn't pay her like a private nanny because she wasn't one. She was, in my mind, a very small group daycare. So I would base my rates on that. What would be the cost for 2 DC in full day care and one in after school care in a small family daycare in your area? Maybe a little extra if she is coming to your house.

:yeahthat:

DD goes to a home daycare (so not the same scenario) but in NY she's licensed to watch 5 children w/ 2 under the age of 2 and she's done it. She also has her own school aged children there before/after school (which is also permitted by law). We've never felt that she couldn't give DD adequate attention and supervision even when she was one of the 2 kids under age 2.

If you are unsure, but want to give it a try I'd say be up front that you were really looking for a nanny w/out her own kids but that you seem to hit it off and would like to give it a trial run. That way you give it a chance and yet don't feel obligated to a long term commitment if it doesn't work out.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I agree, worth a try. My friend watches a little girl the same age as her dd and it works well. The kids have playmates and are on similar schedules. eta- I think I would pay her normal rate because she is still providing the service you are expecting. I wouldn't reduce it much if you do at all.

Beth

[Jen841]

Sounds like you are between a rock and a hard place, and you and she hit it off. Set ground rules and have a trial person to discuss in X weeks if it is working or not.

[Momof3Labs]

I don't care for those arrangements but it might work for you. In our case, we've had people interested who have 1-2 toddlers, which when added to our four, would be pretty overwhelming. In this case, an 8yo wouldn't be as much work (as long as the child was very well-behaved) and it might be okay.

As far as pay, I'd treat it like a nanny share. For example, if the going rate for 5 kids is $18/hr, I'd offer $10/hr to start, with a raise in 6 months if all is going well. I would NOT pay the going rate for 3 kids because you aren't getting a nanny focused on your three kids - you are getting a nanny caring for 5 kids, including your 3. IMO, that's a big difference.

[cdlamis]

Should have clarified the arrangement.

This situation is only for 1-2 days a week (max of 12 hrs/week). My DD is in school and have to be picked up on those days which is why I want a nanny who can just walk to the school- I don't want to deal with cars and car seats. This particular nanny would be walking (not driving) from school. Due to the few hrs needed, there won't be any extra duties (driving to activities, shopping, etc)- just hanging out at home or the park.

Yes, my concern is the 2 babies and how that will work. The other 2 kids are easy (IMO). Her 8 yr old would be with her most of the time as well (homeschooling).

I might try and see if it works. I hope it will- my other prospects aren't looking good. :)

Thanks for all the feedback so far.

[SammyeGail]

I have to say its worth a try, a trial like other PPs mentioned. I don't know how far the walk to school is, but for the little ones maybe you could find a double stroller on craigslist.

At my DS's Mothers Day Out program one of the teachers brings her daughter, 2 days a week, class is for 6 hours. I think the daughter is 10 now, so that made her 8 when the teacher started. She homeschools her daughter, and her daughter is a sort of little helper, I think her mom pays her some ;).

I would be concerned if she planned to homeschool her son while nannying for you, LOL!!

Best of luck, it is hard to find someone you 'click' with....

Samantha