Helping a family member who tried to commit suicide?

[twowhat?]

I need BTDT advice please. I don't want to go into too much details, but an immediate family member tried to commit suicide and failed. He has admitted to needing help which probably is a great first step. I really just want advice on how to help him. Any advice!!

[infomama]

I have not BTDT personally but I have run across this in my occupation. I'm sorry you are going through this. To be general they need to get into counseling. In patient, out patient depends on the person.

You may be able to get some resources/information here
www.save.org (http://www.save.org)

[ha98ed14]

This happened to one of my close relatives about 9 months ago. It is an older man who had gotten a cancer dx. He ended up in-patient for 10 days. He should have continued in out patient therapy/counseling, but chose not to. He is still alive with no subsequent attempts, but he is pretty depressed and for good reason.

I think men have a harder time bouncing back from this kind of thing than women. If he has a wife, she can have a positive impact on him if she is willing to encourage him to get better because she misses him, needs him, blah blah. IME, men need something to DO, but they want to be doing it FOR someone who needs them. Some variation on the "working to feed your kids" theme. But by the time they are depressed enough to try and off themselves, a lot of bridges have already been burned.

I hope your relative gets better. I'd check him into a psych ward just to give his family members some space to come up with a plan without having to worry about him. This was key for enabling my relative to return home. The other people in the house needed some space from him and the incedent. I think that it was good for everyone.

[TwinFoxes]

I really think you need professional advice. I would hate for you to get well meaning but inappropriate advice here. Maybe start at the national institiutes for mental health, nimh.nih.gov I'm sure something on their site can point you in the right direction. There's so much at stake here, I figure they have a lot of resources and can help better than we can (no offense to anyone!) I'm so sorry you, and especially your relative are going through such an awful time. P&PT headed your way!

ETA: corrected the website address

also, that save.org site looks more helpful than the one I suggested. Good luck!!!!

[wellyes]

I really think you need professional advice. I would hate for you to get well meaning but inappropriate advice here.

I agree with this (though of course anyone who's BTDT might have invaluable insight).

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry your famiy member is in so much anguish right now. It is time for the healing process to start, best wishes.

[StantonHyde]

This person needs lots of professional help-they will try again unless they get that help. I work in a psych hospital and can tell you in a general way how admissions tend to go. So..

1. Was the person taken to an ER to be evaluated after the attempt? If so, they should have been hooked up with social services etc. The family needs to follow through.

2. If the person was not evaluated, they need to get in to see a doctor-today. In our psych hospital, you can walk in off the street and get evaluated for admission. If there is a psych hospital within 2 hours of that person, they should go there--if the hospital accepts walk in assessments. The person could even go to the ER and report they attempted etc and still be seen etc. The bottom line is that they need to get into the "emergent" cue.

3. Yes, this person needs to see at least a psychiatrist, who will then recommend other services if needed. BUT it takes at least 6 weeks, sometimes 12 to be seen by a psychiatrist! (there aren't enough of them in some areas) So I wouldn't go there first.

This person really, truly needs to be evaluated for immediate admission. They need to be under the care of professionals. In fact, by supporting them, you can keep them going "just above the ground" until they crash again. They are better off going from their crashed state straight to professional help.

[twowhat?]

Thank you all for the info and advice. I couldn't find much on those websites on how to find a social worker or therapist in our local area. He doesn't have health insurance, and half of my family is out of a job so free or cheap would be preferable. Though of course if that's not an option we will pay for someone...anything to help him.

[ha98ed14]

If the person is without medical insurance, you might try contacting your County Mental Health department. If you can't find the number, just call the suicide hotline and tell them you need to find out where to help your relative services. Both numbers should be listed in the blue section of the yellow pages, or google it.

[Veronica's Mommy]

It is hard sometimes to find local resources. I would try some sort of local forum- any type really, keyword local- be it yahoo, mamasource, cafemom, etc. And ask the people there, surely someone else has BTDT.
Also, look at your local (county?) heath dept website, you may find something of use there. Be patient, and be dilligent. It can be tough to wade through all the info and phone numbers until you find the right one. This may be one case where the yellow pages will come in handy. There may be free/ low cost services out there that you don't know about.
Thridly, look into support groups. For him and for yourself. Hopefully you can find something through the above means.
Also, I have BTDT. It is hard. In my case, she was brought to the hospital at the time and admitted to the psych ward for a couple days. She has battled depression & bipolar disorder for a long long time, and is still being treated. She hasn't attempted again in the 10+ years since.
Good luck to you and your family. :hug5:

ETA- Just prior to this incident, many family members got together to discuss this person, because we could tell she was on a downward spiral. Unfortuantely, we didn't get to have the intervention in time. Even though it is after the fact for you, I would still recommend trying to get the family together to really discuss this, as difficult as that sounds. You need to find out who is really on board with helping.