Would this bother you - sibling at school while other sibling is vomitting/has fever?

[alien_host]

Given all the H1N1 stuff this got me thinking. At DD's preschool, there is a set of twins in her class. One twin stayed home because she was throwing up and with a fever that morning. The other twin was in class.

Since the kids are only in preschool, would you send the second sibling to school when the other was obviously pretty sick? Isn't it just a matter of time that the sibling will come down with it? I understand that in elementary etc you wouldn't keep your other child home when one was sick due to missed school work, but these kids are 4 and in preschool. Clearly this illness is not just a runny nose/cold situation.

Or is the thought to keep the second kid out of the home and not be exposed as much to the germs? Based on what I overheard the parent say to the teacher it did not sound like a bout of food poisoning or anything.

Am I being crazy/overly cautious? I'm curious what others think.

[JBaxter]

I have 4 kids and I have sent my kids to school when one is sick / puking. MANY times one of my family got something and none of the rest of us got it. I usually quarentine our first sicky in the family.

[egoldber]

No, I would not keep the other child home. That is not fair and it is not at all a guarantee that the other child will get sick. There are plenty of times where only one of my kids is sick and the other does not get it. Besides, if they got it at preschool, the other kids have already been exposed.

[carolinamama]

Just my opinion - but no, it wouldn't bother me. I know there are times that one of my kids has a bad cold/ear infection and the other one doesn't (hasn't gotten it or has already gotten over it). About a month ago, DS2 had a nasty stomach bug and was vomiting quite a bit for 24 hours. DS1 never got it and went about his normal routine. I don't keep the well one home. Keep in mind I am not too worried about the H1N1 stuff though and haven't changed how we do anything.

[fivi2]

(wondering if you go to school with my dds...)

I sent twin A to school when twin B was sick. Twin A never got the illness. I did debate it for a while, but I never stayed home from work when dh was sick (for example). Not everyone in the house always gets an illness. And, they were probably contagious before the symptoms started, so had probably infected whoever they were going to infect.

Shrug. I just didn't see any reason to keep a well child home, and I was reasonably certain (after contacting ped) that it wasn't H1N1.

[alien_host]

FWIW, I only have one child so never had to make this decision. I guess it is unreasonable to keep the well one home. Since the first sib got sick on Monday, I'm sort of hoping she was infected Sat/Sun and not Friday while they were in school! One can hope right?

fivi2 that is a good point about spouses not staying home, but I was thinking that 4 YOs aren't as good at handwashing and "keeping away from germs" as adults are.

[fivi2]

fivi2 that is a good point about spouses not staying home, but I was thinking that 4 YOs aren't as good at handwashing and "keeping away from germs" as adults are.

Of course! I was going with the "infected but not yet aware of it" theory in that example, which is just as possible for adults as it is children :)

I think that for those of us with more than one kid, keeping the non-sick one home would add up to double the missed days for everyone!

and those are the exact same symptoms my dd2 had when I sent dd1!

[bluestar2]

I had to make this decision just recently.

[alexsmommy]

No. Plenty of times one child gets something and the other doesn't OR they switch off illness which means no one would ever go to school. I just think it's part of reality this time of year. It stinks, but I also understand how/why parents send the seemingly healthy sibs to school.

[KrisM]

fivi2 that is a good point about spouses not staying home, but I was thinking that 4 YOs aren't as good at handwashing and "keeping away from germs" as adults are.

My kids are great at handwashing because of preschool. Their teacher is on the ball with that, more than me, IMO.

And, yes, I would send the others to school. Thank goodness I have not had more than one vomitting child at a time! For whatever reason, we've been lucky with most of those illnesses and hasn't spread it to everyone else.

[vonfirmath]

I was never kept home from school, growing up, because my sister was sick.

Also, the more children a family has -- well, they might as well homeschool if they are going to keep all the children home everytime one of them is sick.

[HIU8]

Ok, I agree that the not sick child should go to school. However, what do you do if you are the person who takes the child to school? Do you take sick child with you? Do you ask a neighbor to watch sick child? Do you call around and hope someone can tell your well child to school? I'm in a situation where maybe DH can take the well child to school, but not guaranteed. I may be able to call my father to help me out but also not a guarantee. I know there will be a point where my only option will be to keep both children home even if one is not sick.

This has not come up yet for us this year, but I'm sure it will. I remember a family 2 yrs ago where the mom would bring the sick kid with her into the building to drop the well one off (of course we were not dealing with H1N1 at that point).

[egoldber]

Do you take sick child with you?

Yes, I have done that. Carried the sick one in my arms (when small enough) or had them stay right next to me and stay out of the classroom. I prefer to have one parent stay home, but with DH's schedule that is not always possible.

ETA: It's easier for me when Amy is sick and Sarah is not, because Sarah can ride the bus. Amy is harder, because she has to be walked into school and dropped off at her classroom.

[HIU8]

At this point, both DS and DD need to be walked into the building and dropped off in their respective classrooms. If DD was sick and I was taking DS in, I would actually take him about 10 minutes late. DS's class does not open doors until 9:15 am. So, all the parents and the kids wait outside the classroom for up to 15 minutes while the doors are shut. I would not bring DD and expose everyone in that situation. Flip flop to DD's clas though--which is daycare and preschool--it opens at 7:30 so I could bring DD and DS would stand in the hallway and wait.

[jess_g]

Honestly, I have done both. My middle child is the one that gets sick alot and stays sick alot longer than anyone else in the family. Last year my youngest was in preschool and when his brother was sick I would sometimes bring him to preschool but sometimes it was just so much easier to have both stay home even though one was not sick. The pick up and drop off times were hard as I did not want to bring the sick child into the preschool but realy there is no other way to get the other one in. I would leave the sick one in the office at the front of the school while getting my younger one settled in his classroom.

I think its harder now becuae everyone is fearfull of H1N1 and right now I think I would just leave them both at home.

Jessica.

[alien_host]

Also, the more children a family has -- well, they might as well homeschool if they are going to keep all the children home everytime one of them is sick.

I'm really talking about PRESCHOOL, which IMO is very different than say Kinder or 1st grade or high school. Preschool isn't "necessary" like other grades.

I DO NOT expect a family to keep two high schoolers, a third grader and a kindergardener home when the 4th grader is sick....

[JBaxter]

Last year when Nathan was in preschool there were times his older brothers were sick and he wasnt. I took him to preschool. There was no reason for him to miss.

[alien_host]

However, what do you do if you are the person who takes the child to school? Do you take sick child with you?

THis is a good point, I was not there when this parent dropped off so I don't know if the sick child came in. Although she was not with the mom when she picked up the well child.

I think HIU8 has a great idea of waiting a few minutes for other kids/parents to clear out to minimize exposure.

[Melaine]

(wondering if you go to school with my dds...)

I sent twin A to school when twin B was sick. Twin A never got the illness. I did debate it for a while, but I never stayed home from work when dh was sick (for example). Not everyone in the house always gets an illness. And, they were probably contagious before the symptoms started, so had probably infected whoever they were going to infect.

Shrug. I just didn't see any reason to keep a well child home, and I was reasonably certain (after contacting ped) that it wasn't H1N1.

That's encouraging. I have to say not once have we had any illness hit that effected only one twin. It's such a drag to feel that when one it is sick, the other will inevitably follow.

[traciann]

Recently dd2 came down with a stomach bug and I kept dd1 home from preschool because I was sure that dd1 would come down with it. The next day dd1 still did not have it so I sent her to school. There have been many instances though where dd2 has been sick and I still send dd1 to school. Personally I think its dd1 bringing home the germs!
I have a friend that has twins and one never gets sick and the other one does...even with the flu! The girl just has a better immune system that the other I guess.

[C99]

No, I would not keep the other child home. That is not fair and it is not at all a guarantee that the other child will get sick. There are plenty of times where only one of my kids is sick and the other does not get it. Besides, if they got it at preschool, the other kids have already been exposed.

This. If I kept all of my kids home when the others were sick, they'd never go anywhere!

[Corie]

No, I would not keep the other child home. That is not fair and it is not at all a guarantee that the other child will get sick. There are plenty of times where only one of my kids is sick and the other does not get it. Besides, if they got it at preschool, the other kids have already been exposed.


I agree with Beth.

[Globetrotter]

If I did that, there would be long periods where both would be absent! My friend has four kids, and it seems that someone is always sick during the cold and flu season, so there is no way she could do that.

We try our best to stop the spread of germs with handwashing and quarantine, so it doesn't always spread to the other sibling, though sometimes it does! Now my kids are in 1st and 5th grades, so the stakes are higher than preschool :)

[fivi2]

That's encouraging. I have to say not once have we had any illness hit that effected only one twin. It's such a drag to feel that when one it is sick, the other will inevitably follow.

Twin B seems to always get hit harder than Twin A. so Twin A may have a low fever only for one day and Twin B will be vomiting with a high fever for four days! (for example).

So it wasn't that unusual (for us) for B to get it and not A.

[AnnieW625]

No that wouldn't bother me. I actually think the other twin is safer at school than she would be at home because at home she could be more exposed to the virus than she would be at school. There have been times where DH has gotten sick and I haven't sick at all. Same with DD we take her to daycare even if one of us is sick. Most of the time she doesn't automatically get sick.

[sarahsthreads]

Nope, it only bothers me when the sibling *with* the vomiting and fever is at school. I have a friend who regularly sends her child to school with a fever and it drives me absolutely nuts. I am thankful that our children don't go to the same school, but I am sure she is not the only parent who does this, so I am sure DD1 is exposed to plenty of germs in her school anyway.

I would (and have) sent DD1 to school when DD2 had a stomach virus. I would not, however, send DD1 to school if DD2 had just had a stomach virus and DD1 was looking green around the gills and acting like she was on the verge of coming down with something. ;)

Sarah :)

[hollybloom24]

I have twins, and one got H1N1 in September, and her twin went to school. The second twin never came down with it, and the twin that was ill likely caught it from a classmate to begin with.

I brought both kids in the car to school, and one of my mom friends stood at the car with the window open talking to the sick twin, while I brought the other twin into the school and then ran back out. People do this all the time if they don't want to bring a sleeping baby into school, etc. The parents are all willing to help out. Our school is on a quiet college campus with super high security so it is also very safe. But if I didn't have friends who could help or if the school were not in the setting it is, I'm not sure how I would handle getting one well kid into school with a sick one in the car.