Ever heard of ped telling parent to quit daycare?

[tmarie]

My pediatrician told me today that she wants me to pull dd#2 out of daycare until after Thanksgiving. I am floored. Dd#2 started at this school only 2 months ago and is going 3days/week. She has basically been sick almost weekly. She is 16mo. A few weeks ago she came down with what we think was the flu, then an ear infection, and now she has had two viruses since then. I am at my wits end because I literally haven't been able to work--which I want and need to do. Today was my first day back in a month, only to get called to pick up dd#2 b/c she had a new fever. Seriously?

The ped said she needs a chance to build up her immune system. Does anyone know what the risks are if we don't take her out for a month or more? I feel like most kids get sick when they start daycare and that this is normal. I thought this was how they build up their immune system. Are kids who get this sick this often more likely to develop asthma?

tmarie
dd#1 '05
dd#2 '08

[AshleyAnn]

I think the idea is that her immune system is low and tired so it can't fight off infections - even little ones. By pulling her out you give it a chance to build up its reserves and prepare for the next attack.

I have NO idea if it would work but its what I do when I get cold after cold.

[JBaxter]

how many children are in the facility? Would a private daycare with less children be better. When I was working a co workers doctor told her the same thing. She pulled her kids out of the kindercare and put them in a private home daycare with 6 children + 2 before/after schoolers. They were much better.

[wellyes]

That sounds REALLY strange to me. If she was a newborn, yes, but at 16 months? Just about every kid get a series of mild illnesses when they start daycare. It doesn't make sense that being home makes your immune system stronger. Exposure to germs makes your immune system stronger. That's the principle behind vaccines, and it's why older people now aren't as at much risk for serious H1N1 complications - because they've probably had it before.

Unless perhaps she has concerns about that specific daycare's hygene practices? Or your daughter's immune system has an issue? Or she's afraid of H1N1 or another specific illness in your town? But if it's really just to make her immune system stronger by avoiding other kids --- that I don't get.

[KpbS]

I have heard of this. I know several kids who had chronic infections--ear infections, chronic congestion, delayed speech b/c of the infections and continuing congestion, etc. I understand your situation--do you have other childcare options? Back-up childcare? Reliable sitters? Nanny-share options?

[Elilly]

This happened to us with DS. I doubt your situation is the same, but we ended up finding out that he has an immune deficiency. Once he started receiving his infusions, he has been back at preschool as usual.
You may want to try and help build the immune system. Making sure that you're giving enough Vit D & C, zinc, and try some probiotics. These should all help the immune system become stronger.
HTH.

[tmarie]

This happened to us with DS. I doubt your situation is the same, but we ended up finding out that he has an immune deficiency. Once he started receiving his infusions, he has been back at preschool as usual.
You may want to try and help build the immune system. Making sure that you're giving enough Vit D & C, zinc, and try some probiotics. These should all help the immune system become stronger.
HTH.

I'm glad your son is doing better. Thank you for sharing. Do you mind me asking...what is the process for getting tested for immune deficiency? Maybe that is something we need to look into....in the meantime I will start vitamins and probiotics. Thanks!!

tmarie

[tmarie]

Unless perhaps she has concerns about that specific daycare's hygene practices? Or your daughter's immune system has an issue? Or she's afraid of H1N1 or another specific illness in your town? But if it's really just to make her immune system stronger by avoiding other kids --- that I don't get.

That's the thing--we're paying through the nose to send her to the best private preschool/daycare in our metro area. I LOVE this school, our dd#1 has been there 2yrs, and I know we couldn't be in a better spot. We have no family or friends with flexible situations to help out, so we're really stuck. Dd already had H1N1, so shouldn't be a concern either....

[boolady]

Is there a chance that any of this is allergy-related? My BF's younger son started getting sick a lot when he went to daycare at 1 year, and it turned out that he was starting to exhibit allergic reactions (not like hives, etc., but lots of congestion that caused ear problems, etc.) and was exposed to foods from other families that he had never been around at home. Could there be an environmental allergan he's exposed to at school? Turned out to be all allergies, not that this is what you want to hear, but another possible explanation.

[ThreeofUs]

Yes, absolutely. Some kids are just not good candidates for group-care. They get sick too often, which severely undermines their bodies' ability to fight off major illnesses and prevent small problems from becoming major.

Seriously, if your LO is getting sick weekly and your ped says "pull her" - I'd do it.

[Aishe]

There was a little boy in dd's daycare who was pulled out on the advice of his pediatrician when he was around 14 mos or so. He was just getting sick all the time without ever fully recovering. But he was a preemie who had some respiratory issues to begin with. And he did end up returning after a couple months and did just fine after that. So no advice here, just anecdotal evidence that your pediatrician may not be totally off the mark. FWIW, dd did get a whole heck of a lot of viruses when she started group care, but nothing like what you're describing. I hope you find a solution soon.

[MoJo]

What a tough spot for everyone. That's actually why I didn't change jobs. . . . I wanted to take a position with my firm that would be three days per week (24 hours/week) instead of three evenings per week (only 6 hours/week, not nearly enough $-wise). That would have required finding daycare, but the ped and my NICU nurse friend said that DD would likely be sick so much that I'd lose my job (because I wouldn't have any sick time, and there's no one else around to care for her if she gets sick.)

They ask about the daycare situation EVERY time we take her in for a well check. And my DD is healthy; she's only been to the ped once for something that wasn't a well check, and that turned out to be nothing.

[carolinamama]

I asked my ped if I should do this when DS1 was close to that age. Constant viruses, ear infections and some gi bugs too. She basically said that I could, but it isn't a realistic option for most families so she doesn't really bring it up. She went on to add that yes, kids in daycare get sick much more often but I had to do what I had to do.

We ended up pulling DS and putting him in a very small daycare (in a house) where the director owned it. The director and teachers cleaned it and had a much stricter regimen (although it looked the same on paper as the other one) for dealing with illness, mouthed toys etc.

Maybe you could look into other care options with a sitter or nanny? Staying home with a kid and not working is obviously not a feasible option for many.

:hug: It's so frustrating and hard to be in this situation.

[truly scrumptious]

There was a little boy in dd's daycare who was pulled out on the advice of his pediatrician when he was around 14 mos or so. He was just getting sick all the time without ever fully recovering. But he was a preemie who had some respiratory issues to begin with. And he did end up returning after a couple months and did just fine after that.

This was DS - he got sick over and over when he started daycare at 4 months and due to being a premie with respiratory issues developed RSV (was in the ICU for almost a week - aargh!) As soon as he was better and went back to daycare, he got sick again! The ped told us he'd probably do much better out of daycare for a couple of months, to give him a chance to recover completely and build up his strength. We scrambled to find a nanny to come in a couple of days a week for 1 months, and he recovered, and went back to daycare. This time he got a couple of colds, but overall was able to handle it much better and didn't take so long to recover.

The focus of the ped was not on building immunity, but on allowing the body to recover and build STRENGTH - because DS was continually debilitated due to colds/viruses, he never had a chance to recover his strength completely, so he was always susceptible to new viruses. The ped didn't tell us we had to do it, but he said it would be better for DS (but that it was our decision because it depended on our work/finance/support situation.) We ended up making it work (thanks to a super flexible job that allowed me to change my schedule almost weekly, and work from home when I could. I am daily grateful for my work situation that allows me to put family first when I need to.) I talked to the daycare, too, and they were very understanding, allowing us to suspend his spot without losing it (and without paying for the partial months/weeks we were out.)

[Radosti]

Let me start out by saying that I am a microbiologist. My boys are in the best daycare in the area. Took months to get DS1 in. Only to find him being ill all the time. After some observation, I noticed that there was a baby in his infant room that had silent reflux. He crawled and puked everywhere. He wasn't bothered by it. I was however, because some days my DS would come home with dried baby spit on his pants from crawling through it. Ear infections, colds and stomach bugs were common.

I finally flipped out and called a meeting with the director and the nurse. I told them the situation with cleaning in the center was not acceptable. If they could not properly clean the rug in the infant room, there shouldn't be one. They needed to IMMEDIATELY clean up the spit up. And even though they had a policy of bleaching all toys the kids mouthed at, it was obviously not done enough.

The nurse had a major attitude, but I was forceful. They went back and met with other daycare center directors, nurses and managers in their chain. And they got back to me with a comprehensive cleaning plan that I approved of. The illness rates in the center went down tremendously.

Anyway, I am telling you this because my kids have a wonderful, loving relationship with their teachers. The center is phenomenal and they are very happy there. However, even at the best centers, cleaning practices can slip. And they need a wake up call. I was my son's only advocate.

I have over the years, called the nurse out on a number of poor decisions. One of them was when the center had a lice outbreak and they decided to bag all the jackets when the kids came in the morning to avoid lice spreading. She made the rule, but did not explain to the teachers that the kids MUST wear the jackets outside, then rebag them when they came in. Instead, the kids were sent outside with no coats around thanksgiving. The parents then unbagged the coats at the end of the day. She had no idea. I was the only person who realized what was going on and thought that I'd rather deal with lice than pneumonia. Other parents didn't connect the dots.

Am I abrasive? Absolutely. I railroad the nurse into making better decisions for the center. In the end, I have had other parents come up to me and thank me for being so forceful. The center is still a wonderful, loving and educational place. It's also a healthier one because I refuse to let their cleaning and health standards slip.

I am telling you this because your baby is clearly showing signs of the fact that they are not cleaning enough. Not disinfecting enough. It is common for babies to be sick a lot in their first few months at daycare. It is not normal for them, however, to be sick ALL THE TIME. That's a sign of poor standards.

[clc053103]

My old ped told me not to send him in the first place. Said, and I quote, "the only thing a child under 3 gets from daycare is germs".

[boolady]

My old ped told me not to send him in the first place. Said, and I quote, "the only thing a child under 3 gets from daycare is germs".

That's a really helpful attitude for those of us who don't have another option. And I don't agree with him about that being the only thing they get, but I'll save that for another day.

That said, I guess DD's school does a good job of cleaning, because she's hardly ever sick. (Dooming DD to immediately become ill by merely saying that...)

[MamaMolly]

Well DD was only in daycare for 8 weeks while I took a training program, but she was sick the whole time. Her next to last week she was home the whole time with mild pneumonia. But she had ear infections, vomiting, something from week 2 on. I was so glad to be done with the whole thing!

[egoldber]

I think it just depends. Amy has only missed about 5 days total since starting 5 day a week preschool in January (was in 2 days a week before that) and starting full time daycare in June.

I think some kids do just get sick more than others and some kids have a harder time recovering. So perhaps large group care is not the best choice for those children.

[sste]

Can you ask your pedi whether a compromise solution of two weeks would be as effective or nearly as effective? I am wondering how she came up with four weeks? I know the expense is upsetting but I would consider hiring a short term, full-time sitter for two weeks just to give your DD time to get well.

Also, fwiw, we have been extremely fortunate in being able to do whatever we wanted in terms of childcare - - part time parent home, full-time nanny, childcare. We chose to enroll DS in daycare at age 2 because of his increasing activity level and language development. I probably would have waited until 2.5 but our nanny became ill so it was a natural time to make a transition that we were going to make anyway. Anyway, my point being that there are some very nice benefits to group care at certain point in a DC's development!

[truly scrumptious]

My old ped told me not to send him in the first place. Said, and I quote, "the only thing a child under 3 gets from daycare is germs".

I actually think DS has gotten A LOT out of daycare. He is so open and sociable, and even at 14 months is way more social than other babies - we have a friend with a DS exactly his age who has a hard time adjusting to new people/places, and to being around other kids because he doesn't spend much time around other kids. DS was able to get over his separation anxiety so much sooner because he had other people (other than mom and dad) that he felt safe and happy with. They provide experiences I would never think to (like art/water/music) and he loves it.
However, I think the above is mostly a result of his temperament, and the specific environment he is in - with loving teachers who know each child so well, adapt to each child's temperament, and make him feel safe and stimulated which makes daycare fun for him. (Not all babies need daycare to feel that way.)
When we took him out of daycare, it was with the clear understanding that it was purely for health reasons and was temporary. As soon as he was able, he went back in, and he was much happier for it.

[AnnieW625]

Geez! That's a new one. My daughter had four months of almost continuous ear infections starting at about your daughters age the year she turned 2. We went to the dr. 18 times that year (2008) for tubes, more ear infections, speech therapy eval., RSV scare, and just colds to prevent ear infections and our ped. never mentioned anything about pulling her out of her daycare. She had been in daycare since she was 4 mos. old., and I don't recall her being overly sick until 2008 started. I don't know if that made a difference or not. I think there is a lot to be learned from daycare and I am very glad that my daughter has gone for so long. It helped in so many ways.