HOliday traditions with just your immediate "household" family?

[SASM]

My extended family was torn apart this year. I really do not want to go home and expose my family to that emotional mess. It would NOT be an enjoyable holiday reminiscent of seasons past. I would really like to start new traditions with DH and my DCs. Would you please share your traditions for Thanksgiving through New Years Day? Christmas Eve will be the most difficult for me as that has been THE not-to-miss day of the year for my family since my childhood.

Thank you so much in advance.

[Moneypenny]

I'm sorry about the family issues!

A couple of years ago we found ourselves not travelling anywhere for Christmas (usually we were either at the in-laws or my mothers). DH and I have never ever ever not been somewhere else for Christmas, so it was really weird. It seems like this will be the norm now, so we've just embraced it. Here is our holiday plan:

Thanksgiving - we are usually at my mom's, but some years we've been home. I make a small turkey dinner in early afternoon, and then the rest of the day we make Christmas cookies or candies to stick in the freezer for gifts later on. We watch football and munch on snacks. I make a big pot of soup and we have turkey sandwiches for dinner.

Christmas Eve Day - DH, DD and I go shopping. We don't usually buy anything, but going to the mall or a couple of shops with people bustling about and music playing really puts you in the mood, especially if you aren't one of the frantic shoppers! We stop for hot chocolate and muffins, or maybe a bite for lunch.

Christmas Eve - we have homemade spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, watch a movie, drive around and look at the Christmas lights in the neighborhood, and put out cookies and milk for santa. We read The Night Before Christmas as the bedtime story.

Christmas Day - get up and open gifts, and eat homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. The rest of the day we just lounge around. Lunch is usually a bunch of snacky appetizer things we don't eat any other time of year, and then we have a nice dinner (DD's choice so always mac and cheese along with turkey or ham or whatever).

New Year's Eve I make a nacho tray thing and we sit around and eat it in front of the TV (the Superbowl is the only other time we eat in front of the TV, so this is a treat). DD's too young to stay up 'til midnight and DH and I are too old to stay up 'til midnight, so that's about it for our exciting night, lol!

The first year was definitely the hardest, but now we are really getting into it and happy to be making our own memories.

[Seitvonzu]

i was VERY pregnant through the holidays 2 years ago, so that really made us re-evaluate our "at home" traditions. since i was 18 (i'm 31 now) i've been away from family for thanksgiving...the first couple years, i was invited places by older coworkers at the college library. my first year in an apartment in college, a friend of mine whose family was also far away came over and i cooked the whole turkey dinner. it ended up being a COMPLETE fiasco because my car was towed out of my apartment parking lot and my friend didn't have a car. we didn't end up eating dinner until 9pm! that's whole day is a very special memory to me, if you'd believe it :) it was crazy at the time, but makes a great story. in grad school we'd make dinner with friends. one year i travelled and had dinner with my boyfriend's family. it just depended. it was always about good food and friends.

all that is to say-- thanksgiving isn't necessarily a "family" holiday in my mind anymore. it's just been too long and my parents/extended family has lived far away. now my hubby's family is driveable (about 6 hours on a good day) , but we find the fight up 95 to CT is just too difficult. it was hard when we were just us two, with lucy is literally the worst. traffic. traffic. traffic. HATE THAT DRIVE!!!! we've had family to our place, we've gone a couple times to CT. we've had friends. last year it was just our little family. no matter what, we have the whole meal. that's important to me. if we go somewhere else, i still make the meal on another day. christmas isn't a "turkey" holiday in my family, so thanksgiving is pretty much it.

thanksgiving weekend is also when we get our christmas tree. we cut down a fraiser fir at a local farm. i LOVE the smell and the idea of a TREE in the middle of the living room. we may or may not decorate the tree at that time. the only real "requirement" is getting the lights on. usuallly i make a batch of hot chocolate for tree triming and we enjoy getting out the ornaments and remembering when we got them and whatnot. this year i'm knitting lucy her own decorations (so far a popcorn/cranberry garland and half a light strand) and she can help 'decorate"-- i'm not sure if i'll let her do her own little fake tree or put them on the real tree. the fake tree would probably be cuter, but she might want to do what we do which would be fine too. i wanted her to have something safe but new and festive. i'm excited about giving the stuff to her! she knows i "knit" and likes to "help" me. i'm sure she'll make the connection that i MADE these things for her, and that makes it more special.

last year we started some advent traditions, even though lucy was practically a baby and couldn't really "get it" yet. while she was eating we'd light our advent wreath each night, say a prayer or two (i picked up a children't advent book at church with the wreath), and before bed we'd read one advent story out of a collection i bought for that purpose. she really did seem to enjoy the candle being lit and seemed to realize that it was a reverent time and would listen to the prayer quietly. i'm not sure how that will go this year with a toddler! :) i picked up an advent calender dealy with little books last year, so we'll do that this year. and i also bought a couple playmobil advent calenders we'll let her do. (well, one this year, one in the future...i just couldn't choose!).

i got a playmobil nativity set this year too. i'm going to let her help me set it up and talk to her about baby jesus. i'm sure she'll be more into pulling apart the pieces (she already has done that when i got the set!), but that's okay. a little at a time each year. i bought a neat book written from the nativity animals perspective and we'll read for the first time before we get the set out.

christmas eve in my family was always the same-- we'd go to church and come home and eat clam chowder and boiled shrimp. this wasn't always my favorite thing as a child and i was convinced i was allergic to clam chowder (it would make me sick to even think about it and i was always STARVING in church) 2 years ago, we were in the hospital with our beautiful new baby on christmas eve. i believe i had hospital food. last year we had my parents visiting and i honestly can't remember what we had...last year was all about lu's first birthday so christmas literally took the back seat to that.

baking/cooking used to be a HUGE part of holidays for me. that's actually changed since i became pregnant because i had a dramatic case of gestational diabetes that morphed into full blown type I diabetes. i still do cookies and make big meals, but i do try to focus on other "nonfood" traditions. we really should wean off the baking traditions around here because i simple can't cook and not taste; but they were a really HUGE part of my growing up traditions and mean alot to me. my mother would literally make a dozen types of cookies each year. that was breakfast on christmas morning with strawberry quickbread and butter! (that makes my stomach hurt a bit thinking about it, but in a GOOD way) my parents would come down to the living room and put on christmas RECORDS (something seemed more authentic about records than tapes or eventually cds) and we'd know we could go down and open our stockings and look at our santa stuff. then my mommy would put together the cookie tray and bread and the grownups would get their coffee and then we take turns doing the rest of the gifts.

we always go see lights at some point. last year we went and saw santa claus because it was the first "real" christmas (she was 2 days old the year before!), and the grands were visiting.

new year isn't a big thing with us. we don't live by family, so it's hard to go out on a normal night, nevermind a "holiday."

i think the key to a happy holiday season is to do as much as you are comfortable with and if something does happen, it's okay. there are so many things you can do this time of year, and it can make you CRAZY to think you need to do it all. i do think it's insane that DH's mom never made cookie during the holidays. not one cookie. but they did other things, and that's okay. dh requested that we make "cutouts" with lucy this year, and while the idea makes me a little crazy (my family's track record with cutouts is pretty bad), i'll probably do it for him. this might be our only cookies though. we're travelling to my parents this year (before lu gets too old and santa becomes more logistically important), so it's going to be a battle to get my TREE (he doesn't see the point since we won't be here).

most importantly, have fun! it's good to avoid drama, just don't create your own :):)

[SASM]

I'm sorry about the family issues!

A couple of years ago we found ourselves not travelling anywhere for Christmas (usually we were either at the in-laws or my mothers). DH and I have never ever ever not been somewhere else for Christmas, so it was really weird. It seems like this will be the norm now, so we've just embraced it. Here is our holiday plan:

Thanksgiving - we are usually at my mom's, but some years we've been home. I make a small turkey dinner in early afternoon, and then the rest of the day we make Christmas cookies or candies to stick in the freezer for gifts later on. We watch football and munch on snacks. I make a big pot of soup and we have turkey sandwiches for dinner.

Christmas Eve Day - DH, DD and I go shopping. We don't usually buy anything, but going to the mall or a couple of shops with people bustling about and music playing really puts you in the mood, especially if you aren't one of the frantic shoppers! We stop for hot chocolate and muffins, or maybe a bite for lunch.

Christmas Eve - we have homemade spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, watch a movie, drive around and look at the Christmas lights in the neighborhood, and put out cookies and milk for santa. We read The Night Before Christmas as the bedtime story.

Christmas Day - get up and open gifts, and eat homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. The rest of the day we just lounge around. Lunch is usually a bunch of snacky appetizer things we don't eat any other time of year, and then we have a nice dinner (DD's choice so always mac and cheese along with turkey or ham or whatever).

New Year's Eve I make a nacho tray thing and we sit around and eat it in front of the TV (the Superbowl is the only other time we eat in front of the TV, so this is a treat). DD's too young to stay up 'til midnight and DH and I are too old to stay up 'til midnight, so that's about it for our exciting night, lol!

The first year was definitely the hardest, but now we are really getting into it and happy to be making our own memories.

Moneypenny,

Thank you so much...This is exactly what I need. Simple and fun. I am so sorry that you are not with your families at the holidays. When we lived in VA, there was one year that we were not able to get back home for Christmas Eve. Is was very strange but we embraced as it was just going to be that one year. I only wish that I could remember what I did with the kids to take my mind off of that day. If I were in VA I could think of a ton of things to do but we are in a new town and still do not know many people so, I guess, this is the perfect time for us to really begin anew.

Thank you again for your response. I love your ideas.

[SASM]

Seitvonzu,

Thank you so much for sharing your traditions. Congrats on Lucy's upcoming 2nd birthday. :) FWIW, the shrimp and clam chowder tradition sounds awesome! Hmmm...I wonder were you grew up? :D

[WatchingThemGrow]

We like to add some kind of walk/bike ride/time at the park as a family on those days because it isn't all crowded and busy outside.

DH never watched the parades on TV, but I grew up doing it. Kinda fun.

Do you have any special dishes you could make for your own family? I've enjoyed making a few things earlier and just take time to BE, not be cooking, etc. on those days.

[Seitvonzu]

we also take a walk after our thanksgiving meal if possible :) thanks watching-- i forgot about that. so many "traditions" just become habits...i think that's the best way, otherwise the whole tradition building thing can become a stressor- and there are enough of those at holiday time!

[wendibird22]

We drive around looking at holiday lights on xmas eve night. I hated this tradition as a kid when my parents made us do it, but now enjoy it as an adult.

DH and I have made it a point to be home on Xmas Eve without any guests. We exchange our gifts with each other and have a nice glass of wine, snacks, and xmas music after DD goes to bed. This is our couple time during a very hectic season. This lets allows us to have us time and then allows us to be able to make Xmas day all about DD without any guilt that we are shafting each other.

[Seitvonzu]

well, my parents are midwesterners and i actually was born and mostly raised in TEXAS. i'm not sure where my mother got that crazy meal idea? it's certainly not something my grandmother would have served... but we rotated through turkey, ham, roast beef, beef wellington, prime rib, etc. for christmas, so the christmas eve meal being the same year after year has always stuck with me.

growing up , my parents would also have an open house on christmas EVENING... esp. when we lived in houston and lots of people were transplants from other places without extended family around. even if your family was around, usually family stuff was over by christmas evening and people were sorta "bored." i remember always being allowed to have my friends over christmas day, which seems a little strange to me now! :) i guess it makes sense though, since all the build up is to christmas MORNING. i've heard of lots of people going to movies that night.... dh and i LOVE movies, so that might be something we do with the kid(s) as our family gets a little older!

[Reyadawnbringer]

DH and I have made it a point to be home on Xmas Eve without any guests. We exchange our gifts with each other and have a nice glass of wine, snacks, and xmas music after DD goes to bed. This is our couple time during a very hectic season. This lets allows us to have us time and then allows us to be able to make Xmas day all about DD without any guilt that we are shafting each other.

:yeahthat:

I really like that idea and think I am gonna try and get DH on board with it this year! Thanks for the idea!

[karenj2]

Thanksgiving
We split our Thanksgiving - we start out at DH's uncle's around noon with the extended (50+) people, the guys play football while the women gab. When they move into the house to eat, DH and I leave, pick up our dog, and head to MY parents house on the Chesapeake, where we have a late Thanksgiving dinner. Our family tradition for the daytime (which the others do without me) is that after breakfast we'll take a walk on the beach and gather up pretty driftwood, leaves, rocks and make our own centerpiece. At dinner we'll all hold hands and say one thing we're thankful for, then my dad takes a picture, and THEN we eat!

Christmas Eve
Again, we usually split our Christmas Eve... We usually head over to DH's aunt's house for a Christmas mass (at the house) with his extended family (again, 50+) which usually starts at 5pm. Then, we'd head over to my extended family's Christmas Eve party for present exchanges and dinner. After that we used to go to our church's late service (which they don't do anymore.) The more immediate family tradition is that we always lay on the floor near the tree while Christmas music is on and talk for a while.


We drive around looking at holiday lights on xmas eve night. I hated this tradition as a kid when my parents made us do it, but now enjoy it as an adult.
We used to do that too! We still even say "Wooie-wooie-wow-wow" which is what my older sister used to say when she was a todler. She's taught it to her kids, and I will to mine.

Another poster also mentioned advent calendars - I found one I loved a long time ago, and even though I don't have kids (YET - one's cookin') I always do it.

Christmas Day
Christmas Day is one of my favorite traditions, and we still do this even as adults as long as someone is staying with us... (Sometimes my parents or my younger sister would stay up with us, since they didn't live in PA.) When we were kids, when we woke up we'd wake the others up, and then sit at the top of the stairs. We weren't allowed downstairs until my mom had gotten the coffee started and Dad had gotten downstairs and turned on the tree lights. THEN my dad would say "It looks like Santa was here!" and we'd go rushing down the stairs. We always started with stockings first, then our presents.

Later in the day we'd have a Christmas Day dinner (which was basically a repeat of Thansgiving) - now as adults, my older sister and I alternate who hosts it. (My younger sister has moved around alot, so it was easier to have it at our houses...) At some point, DH and I go over to my ILs to say hi.

New Years
We don't really have any traditions for NYE, since we're not into partying, but on New Years Day we usually go over to DH's other Uncle (on his dad's side) for a small get-together. If we don't do that, my parents usually have an open house at their house which we'll go to.

[MelissaTC]

I was a little sad when pregnant w/M in that I knew we would not be able to spend our holidays with our extended family due to travel and P's job. Now here we are, 8 years later, and we tend to spend the holidays at home and invite everyone to join us. When we haven't been here, we have missed having our time. I love how intimate and cozy our gatherings have been and wouldn't trade them for anything.

Thanksgiving- I always make monkey bread for the morning. We watch the parade on tv and I cook everyone's favorite sides and turkey. We pray together before the meal and talk about what we are thankful for. We invite friends and family to join us.

Christmas Eve- We spend this alone. I prefer it this way. We go to 3 pm mass. When we get back, we have some appetizers and then pig out on our customary dinner of lobster tails and filet mignon. Now you know why we don't invite anyone over. ;) Just kidding! We like it because afterward, we exchange gifts that M has purchased for us and vice versa. M opens gifts from family, etc... We watch videos of Christmas past, make cookies for Santa, watch the Christmas lights on the tree, etc... I can't tell you how nice this night is every year.

Christmas - We open the rest of the gifts and anything Santa may bring, including stockings. I usually make french toast and pancakes or monkey bread and eggs. We chill for the rest of the day and do a really casual dinner buffet, like deli sandwiches, appetizers, etc... We invite friends and family to spend this day with us.

On New Year's Day, we always have brunch with our friends. It is a super casual thing but so much fun! We spend the entire day playing board games and the kids play together and watch movies. Love this day too.