How much do you have in common w/your neighbors?

[ourbabygirl]

Just wondering... it seems like the neighborhoods that DH and I have lived in (basically two, plus a town home development), we never have much in common with our neighbors. I guess the biggest dissimilarity is our income level, but also our professions (blue collar/ white collar/ whatever), age, and family status (kids/ no kids/ age of kids). As much as I'd like to get to know my neighbors better in our current development, DH doesn't really see the point, as the only thing we have in common is living by one another.
So, how much do you have in common with your neighbors? Do you hang out with them often? What sort of events and activities do you do together?

[clc053103]

We have a lot in common with our neighbors- lots are families in their late 30's with elementary or younger age kids. Some of the things we do together: ladies nite monthly, friday night get togethers with kids, dinner out, some of the men do athletic activities together (biking, etc). In our old development, we had nothing in common and were ostrasized (largely for our lack of kids- we were newlyweds!) and it was one of the reasons we moved. Now, we would love a bigger house but would hate to leave this great neighborhood!

[Melaine]

In general, I don't feel we have much in common with our neighbors, with one exception. We have a couple of neighbors we are on speaking terms with, a couple that we don't even know their names, and one family that we really really click with. Granted, we don't spend a whole lot of time together but it turns out both the husband and wife went to our college, our extended families know each other, and they are close friends with some friends of ours. We found that all out the first day we met, which was really funny.
It's nice to have at least one family you feel you know well enough to trust in case of emergencies, call in the middle of the night, etc. ykwim? If I needed to drive DH to the hospital, for example, I know they would come babysit in a heartbeat and I could totally trust them. We go weeks without seeing each other (we are back door neighbors so not really visually close) but still can count on them. The wife came over yesterday to borrow a jar of spaghetti sauce.:)

[amandabea]

Well, one would think that we have a lot in common, but we just haven't really clicked. Our neighbor is a single mom to a little girl that is 7 days younger than our DD. When she was waiting to adopt her DD, we officially met her and talked when outside walking our dog or with our DD in the front yard. Anyhow, we were so happy that DD would have a friend so close in age right next door. However, in the past year and a half we very rarely see them. She WOTH as do both my DH & I. She initially had her DD in the same daycare, but she didn't like it - her DD was bitten a couple of times - and I think she just didn't connect with the teachers. My DH thinks we should write her off - as DD and I would go knock on their door and they were usually "busy". But I think it's more of I'm a drop by anytime person and she's a scheduled playdate person. That in itself makes it hard to connect. So in reality while we seemingly have a lot in common and are friendly, we are not friends. I find it sad, but that's life I guess.

[KrisM]

We have quite a bit in common. There are a lot of kids on our street in the same age group as our kids. Our next door neighbors have a boy about 7 months younger than DS1 and a girl a month younger than DD. Across the street DS1 is in the middle of their boys. And so on. In the nice weather, there are always kids outside playing.

DD has the kids next door, 1 across the street, and one on the next street in her preschool class. DS1 has 16 kids at his bus stop and 3 kids in his Kindergarten class in our neighborhood.

As for adults, we all get along pretty well. Generally, we're invited to birthday parties, etc. Across the street, she is a SAHM. Next door is 2 working parents, but the grandma watches the kids at their house, so we play a lot during the summer especially.

We are all pretty comfortable with each other watching the kids and take turns with that fairly often. I've asked them to watch one kid while I've done things with the other.

We are really happy here.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We don't have much in common with them. Economically and professionally there isn't much differentiation. Age and kids are the biggest difference. There are several older neighbors who have grown children. The family across the street from us has kids from 13-24yo. We all get along and make small talk but nothing beyond that. To me, that is perfectly fine.

Beth

[elektra]

I've had to make an effort but I've started to get to know some neighbors that have kids the same ages as ours. Beyond that I really don't know them well enough to know if we have more in common. I live in a neighborhood that still has alot of older people, but more and more younger families are moving in.

[hollybloom24]

I actually like all my neighbors. We are all around the same age and have kids all around the same age. On paper I suppose we have much in common, but I'm not actually sure. Two couples on the street went to the same college as my husband. Out of 10 people, I am the only non-Ivy League college graduate on the street. Everyone is white collar, two families are Jewish, two Christian, and our half non-denominational/half Jewish household. Only one mom works full time as an attorney, the rest are SAHM except for me (part-time consultant). Three out of five families send their kids to private schools. Four out of five belong to our local pool and tennis club.

We typically don't hang out though - I wish we did more. Everyone is busy and always running around. One neighbor I see more than the others - she is very thoughtful and invites us to all their parties and over on Christmas for dessert when my husband has been working.

They are all kind and trustworthy and I could count on all of them in an emergency. One has keys to my house, and we swap pet-sitting with two families. Three families have their numbers posted on my fridge in case of an emergency.

All in all I am happy with the street. My husband feels it isn't a true neighborhood though, where kids play outside all the time, etc.

[catsnkid]

My next door neighbors are slightly older than my parents. The wife and I both love animals and tag sales and coupons. She is a really sweet lady and loves DS. The other neighbors, they are in their 50's, no kids at home. the wife gets on my nerves, the husband is okay, they have been very nice to us. No kids. There is a family with three small kids, the youngest, a girl is 2 years older than DS, I know them slightly. The kids are very polite and very well behaved. DS is only 5 mos so too young for playdates.

[WatchingThemGrow]

We don't have much in common with our neighbors, but we are friendly, and I do try to greet/hang out with them a few times/year. in the 8 closest houses, there is 1 kid - who is driving and the rest are single people, renters, or newlyweds. One guy is a video game designer, one girl cuts hair, one woman is retired and they all live alone. It's actually kind of a weird combination of people. A young family moved in a few doors down (renters) and their daughter is just 2 days older than DS1. It has been FABULOUS having them around b/c we started swapping date nights after the kids have gone to sleep. She also will come down to watch my boys while I take DD to school. I pay her for her time, but I can see how nice it would be to have several families in a neighborhood!

I think I'm the only SAHM with young children except this new girl. There aren't a huge number of families with elementary and below children in our area, probably because of the size of the houses (1200+sf). Would it get boring to have families like yours in the neighborhood or is it really neat? I like knowing that there's a rock band playing every Thurs. in the house next door, and that there's an art show going on 4 houses away. It is just kinda neat to think about it.

[maestramommy]

When Dh and I were living in an apt, I don't know how much in common with our neighbors, other than they were Asian. They were immigrant families with school aged children, most of the moms were SAHMs, but for the first 3 years of our marriage I was working fulltime. Plus, we were gone a lot of weekends adventuring. So although I saw the kids playing all the time, I never saw the parents.

Now that we are living in a home, we have gotten to know a few neighbors. I would say that we might have more in common with them, in terms of income (although I could be wrong!), education, career. Most of our neighbors are professionals of one kind or another. BUT we've only been here a year, so I'm not sure how much we have in common in terms of hobbies and such. It appears that most of the families are into their families, and very busy with the kids or taking care of their house and yard, and stuff. Which sounds about where we're at right now:p

[baymom]

We live in a town-house community and don't really have a lot of obvious things in common with our neighbors--mainly because ALL but one of them is a retired/widowed/'older' couple. The one is a single Mom with a second grader (our kids are 3 and 5).

BUT, we feel incredibly blessed to have each of them in our lives. I cycle regularly with a neighbor who is older then my father and wouldn't be friends with if she didn't happen to live next door. Another couple are ultra-runners and exotic travel enthusiasts, like we are, so we always have a lot to talk about. A third couple is older and the wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer, a fourth have grandkids across the county and dote on our kids all the time. They have 'projects' and art on their fridges for MONTHS that our kids have made for them. The list just goes on and on. We all look out for each other, bring each other food when they are sick, water plants/pick up packages for when are on vacation, ect.

When we first had our kids, we thought a lot about moving to another neighborhood with younger families, but ended up waiting too long and now are reluctant to sell when the prices are so low. Now, we don't want to move any time soon, because we love our neighbors/neighborhood too much. It was really a lesson for us, to not judge based on age, but to look for commonalities. I would never have imagined that I'd consider so many people my parents' age and older to be such close and beloved friends.

[Laurel]

A LOT. We live on a block where everyone seems to have two or more kids between the ages of 1-7. Our community is part of a program for city/community employees; we all either work for the city, the school district, the police/fire department or are a clergyperson.

I love our neighborhood!

[C99]

When I was a renter, I did not spend a lot of time getting to know my neighbors -- by mutual design. I think people don't want to invest that much time/effort into someone who may move in a year or two.

[niccig]

One neighbours have 2 boys 8-10 yo. DS loves to play with them, and they'll often play together. It's kind of weird as DS goes over there, and I've always gone with as he's younger, but then the dad or mum stops doing what they're doing to talk to me. I let DS go over once by himself and it felt strange that they were looking after him, and when I said their boys could play in our house, the parents said No. We help each other out, he's in construction and we've used people he's had working on his house. They still talk to us despite our pine tree branch smashing his pick-up truck in a freak thunderstorm.

Another neighbour has 4 kids, all older than DS. We know them to wave and say hi and to help out a little. Their older boys have let our dog out a few afternoons when I was away. She was coming out to her car one day and saw people in our yard picking fruit from the tree and she chased them saying she would call the police if they didn't leave.

My other neighbours are all elderly. I know them well, as I made it a point to get along with them. Don't need a crabby neighbour complaining about everything. One lady is 83, no car and walks 1.5 miles to the end of our road to go to the Dr./store. If I see her walking, I always give her a lift. She's also the neighbourhood watch, if there's a car in front of my house, her curtains twitch. DH hates it. I humour her, as when we go away, she notes every car that was near my house. I get a list with dates, times and license plate numbers.

We live in a pretty friendly neighbourhood. We're in a large canyon, but as there's only one way in and out, it feels like a community. Lots of people walk in the early evening, and people always stop to say Hi.

[Happy 2B mommy]

We like our neighbors, but have nothing in common with them. All the guys are very blue collar, heavy-drinking types. They're friendly and invite DH over to watch sports, but poor DH says the conversation is pretty limited. None of our immediate neighbors have kids but they are always nice to ours and really tone down the language when I'm around with the them. There are 2 families in the neighborhood who do have kids, but the moms haven't been as friendly as our immediate neighbors who don't have kids. I suggested a playdate to one and it was clear she wasn't interested.

The woman right next door to us is very unfriendly. But she's that way to everyone.

[carolinamama]

Quite a bit actually. We picked our neighborhood before we picked our house. We are all educated at about the same level, similar incomes, and kids around the same ages. Lots of SAHM moms/work part-time moms. The kids play together outside all the time. We are very happy being here. Our old neighborhood was not like this - we didn't know many people despite living there 8 years and didn't feel like we had much in common anyway.

[Seitvonzu]

we bought our home at possibly the worst time, and did the best we could at that time. i looked at TONS of places, and we liked the location and "light" in this place. we payed WAY more for our townhouse than any of our neighbors did, and as a result we find ourselves often saying "we just don't belong here." financial level, lifestyle (i'm a SAHM), education level, values...it's just all different from our neighbors. my DH has been CURSED out by one of the neighbors in front of me/dd when dd was just 6 months old. another neighbor has verbally assaulted (seriously) us 3 times. these things usually relate to some child or another being in our yard and doing something inappropriate. apparently, that is OUR FAULT. oh yeah, i also have called the police because i've witnessed a dog mauling. i don't call for the child neglect i see, because that's harder to prove and my neighbors would just say that they were watching out their doors.... it's really hard, but better in the hot summer and cold winter. we've taken to NOT LOOKING OUT OUR WINDOWS! :) there are so many things i could say about our experience in the last 4 years, but i wanted to keep it short.

that said, i think the neighbors think that our "differentness" mostly comes from my husband. the person who cursed him out, just yesterday offered me a bunch of kids videos that his kids have outgrown. it was nice, sorta, but even though the whole family was coming in from a walk (me, dh, & lucy) he addressed ME.... because he knows my husband won't talk to him. i'm completely on board with DH thinking that our neighbors are not the best parents and not the best people, but i do try to speak to them cordially and treat their children with detached friendliness (when i tried any other sort of interaction the children started to get a little too attached to me...but that's a whole other story!)

our dreams have us in texas :) i need to be somewhere we're people respect other's space. suburban maryland is not that place. at least not for our family. *sigh*

[misshollygolightly]

We have nothing in common with any of our neighbors, but I really like most of them. Here in the Midwest people aren't super friendly/outgoing (as were most of my neighbors in the South), but we walk our dog 3x/day, so everyone knows us by sight and we *always* say hello (even if the other folks don't necessarily respond at first). Of our immediate neighbors, there are two houses occupied by single, older bachelors, and one house occupied by a young family with a recently-adopted infant (they are new to the neighborhood and seem nice, though not very outgoing). The two older bachelors are our favorites--both have gone out of their way to help us at different times (helping us get unstuck from our snowy driveway, getting our mail while we're on vacation, etc.). One in particular is just very sweet and helpful--we usually have him over for dinner about 2x/year, and we invite him to most events we have (DS's birthday, etc.). I love having at least 2 nearby neighbors that I feel comfortable calling on in an emergency, or even just asking about yardcare issues. It doesn't really bother me that we're at different life-stages and don't have other things in common.

[codex57]

We may move soon. Definitely gonna miss our neighbors. We hang out with our neighbors cuz we're now away from all our friends.

The ones across the street have a boy and girl like us, and theirs are only a few months older each. Turns out, the mom went to the same high school as DW and was even on the same softball team. Dad went to the same college as me around the same time.

Next to us, they have 1 girl who's several months younger than DS. Dad likes photography and is a Nikon shooter like us. He takes our family portraits for us. Mom is an awesome cook and we always ask her about garden stuff since her parents own a farm.

[kijip]

Demographically not a whole heck of a lot besides age. Our immediate neighbors are the 7 others households in our townhouse development. 5 of those are occupied by young married couples without children. 2 by young unmarried adults. We are the only people with kids in the development so far. I know that some of them are planning on having kids, but for some of them that means buying a bigger house whereas we are fine with 2 kids in our smallish space. All of our immediate neighbors are 26-34 (we are 29 and 30) so it is a close age spread. I think that is just a function of who can afford what kind of house and where in a pricey city. Professionally, some of them work in healthcare so that is a common reference with my husband. I guess would say that we are all professionally and educationally fairly similar from what I have gathered. Most people, including my household, have at least a bachelors, some have professional schooling as well.

The rest of the people in our neighborhood beyond the townhouses are very diverse in age, income, race, family status etc. So I don't find that any of our neighbors are especially similar to us. A lot of the kids play at the park alone, so I don't often get to meet other parents here on foot here. The most similar family to ours- my brother and his partner and 2 daughters- moved out last week when they closed on a house in the 'burbs and vacated the apartment they lived in less than 2 blocks away.