Have you ever worn pants to a wedding? Is the prob. the pants or the shoes? [Archive]

ciw

11-10-2009, 01:27 PM

When it comes to semi-formal and formal events I'm far more comfortable in dresses. I've never worn pants to a formal event. But I've been having major foot problems for the past year and have to wear a custom-made orthodic that only fits into rather clunky-looking mary janes, tie-shoes and flats. And now I can't figure out for the life of me how to dress for an upcoming wedding. The shoes would go better with pants but they still kill the look. I have a closet full of beautiful little dresses but when I pair them with ballet flats (which are the least clunky of the shoes) they look too casual.
If you had to wear flats, would you wear pants or a dress? If you've ever worn pants to a wedding, what did your outfit look like?

vonfirmath

11-10-2009, 01:32 PM

My best friend wore slacks to my wedding. I was :( but glad she was there.

TwinFoxes

11-10-2009, 01:55 PM

I've never worn pants to a wedding. NMS.

If it were me, I'd wear a dress and ballet flats. Can you buy some embellished ones? With rhinestones or something? Even if you wear trousers, you'll probably want to wear shoes that aren't ordinary, something a little dressy instead.

You can also dress up the dress with jewelry.

MommyAllison

11-10-2009, 02:08 PM

wellyes

11-10-2009, 02:17 PM

I think pantsuits are fine for weddings, but I don't think they'd look any better with ballet flats.

It's kind of a shame that if you have a cane or crutches no one would blink at you wearing non-dressy shoes, but because your problem is more disguised it is harder for you.

Maybe just embrace it and get some jewelry clips for the slip-ons. If you must wear them, pretty them up!

TwinFoxes

11-10-2009, 02:19 PM

Once you are sitting down at a table in the reception, nobody sees past your waist anyway. ;)

Hey, my guests were up and dancing at my wedding! :boogie:

vonfirmath

11-10-2009, 04:58 PM

And we didn't have tables at our reception.

MommyAllison

11-10-2009, 05:19 PM

True, I suppose it depends on the reception!

MontrealMum

11-10-2009, 05:52 PM

I wore dress pants and a fancy sweater to my cousin's wedding due to unexpected cold weather. The wedding was in Alabama and based on typical weather there, I had planned to wear a sleeveless linen dress. It was just way too cold for that, especially since I was mistress of ceremonies and had to greet people near the open church doors. I did wear very dressy shoes. This was also a fairly informal wedding though.

I wear custom orthotics too, and certainly prefer a mary jane as the strap keeps the shoes from sliding along the heel which is a PITA. But I have several pairs with various heel heights. Can you look for a mary jane made dressier because of a slight heel? You can also buy Dr. Scholl's stick-ons for heels to keep all types of shoes from slipping, which might be able to be used in something still comfy, but less clunky. You can also take the orthotics back to the person who made them and ask them to shave them down a bit to fit into heels and dressier (narrower) shoes. I've had this done several times.

happymom

11-10-2009, 06:03 PM

I would definitely opt for the flats with a dress. There are SO mnay dressy flats out there. Can you buy a pair just for the wedding (and future occasions I suppose). Check out www.endless.com (http://www.endless.com) Narrow your search by flats, then choose dress. There are beautiful sequined flats, or satin with embelishments. I think that will look dressier than pants with flats.

urquie

11-10-2009, 06:23 PM

I wore black dress pants with a dressy sweater and black ballet flats to a wedding this past weekend. It was a pretty casual wedding. There were lots of women there in pants. It was sooo much easier to take care of the kids too!

Several friends (female) wore jeans to our wedding. Honestly I didn't really care. However, I do live on the West Coast, and our city is definitely known for being casual, so maybe it's somewhat dependent on location? Once you are sitting down at a table in the reception, nobody sees past your waist anyway. ;)

i wore chico's travelers pants (http://www.chicos.com/store/browse/product.jsp;jsessionid=FD6066829AECBB6B343D5CC2B44 54174.cp11?maxRec=7&pageId=1&productId=prod4629280&viewAll=&prd=Travelers+Rumba+Original+Fit+Slim+Pant&subCatId=cat190008&color=&fromSearch=&inSeam=&posId=2&catId=cat40010&cat=&onSale=&colorFamily=&maxPg=1&size=), a silky tank top and metallic havaianas to a SIL's fancy-ish wedding and a cousin's not-to-fancy wedding. they were both outside during the day.

a different SIL wore gorgeous pants to her own classy wedding. they were a creamy silk, probably made by one of her artsy friends, if not herself.

we're also on the west coast. :)

almostmom

11-10-2009, 07:28 PM

I'm sure I have.

I have a pair of dressy flowy black pants that I bought at Banana Republic years ago, and they are great with an artsy top, a silky tank, or anything like that. I never thought twice about it! I wear them everywhere, and think they're pretty dressy and sexy.

SnuggleBuggles

11-10-2009, 08:11 PM

Hey, my guests were up and dancing at my wedding! :boogie:

Of course, I kick off my heels pretty early on so no one would see what I was wearing anyway! :) I do love to dance!

Beth

ciw

11-10-2009, 09:09 PM

There are SO mnay dressy flats out there. Can you buy a pair just for the wedding (and future occasions I suppose). Check out www.endless.com Narrow your search by flats, then choose dress. There are beautiful sequined flats, or satin with embelishments. I think that will look dressier than pants with flats.

Well, the problem is that I can't just buy any pair of flats. The orthodic has to fit into them and while the edges can be trimmed a little, the arch comes way up and basically sticks out of a lot of shoes. So I can't order online because I really need to try the orthodic in them in person. Ninety-percent of the shoes I put them in don't work. The other problem is that I usually have to go up a size to get the orthodic to fit into the shoe and I wear size 11 to start with...finding a size 12 is not easy! I think I tried every pair of shoes in Nordstrom's last week and had absolutely no luck finding anything remotely dressy. There's another store I want to try this weekend but right now I'm thinking my black suede flats are going to be my best bet.

MontrealMum

11-10-2009, 09:18 PM

Just wanted to suggest that you might want to try Naturalizer too. They do wide widths - which can help with fitting an orthotic, and keep you in the same size rather than sizing up. I believe they also go up to 12, but not in every style. Here is their website: http://www.naturalizer.com/ but I know they have a huge presence in malls, so hopefully you have one nearby where you can try things on. Talbots also does wide widths, but I don't think they go past an 11.

I do find that if I go with a wide width in my "normal" size in order to accomodate my orthotics that this lifts my foot up so much (I also have super-high arches) that it's flapping in and out all the time at the heel. Which is why tie shoes and straps are so great and loafers and ballet flats are really hit-or-miss. But if you use the Scholl's stick-on heel thing you can control a lot of that slippage.

ciw

11-10-2009, 09:24 PM

I've never worn pants to a wedding. NMS.

It's kind of a shame that if you have a cane or crutches no one would blink at you wearing non-dressy shoes, but because your problem is more disguised it is harder for you.

Yeah, I think that's my problem. I've never worn pants to a wedding either -- I love getting dressed up in dresses! And I think I'd just be super self-concious in them because people can be so judgemental. But I was really curious to see what kinds of pants people like for weddings. I've seen outfits with pants in magazines that I think could work -- but I really can only see them working with strappy heels which would of course rule them out for me.

ciw

11-10-2009, 09:28 PM

Thanks, MontrealMom. Those are good suggestions. I didn't have any luck at Talbots or at a specialty store that carries Naturalizer but I will try one of the Naturalizer stores. And I had never heard of the stick-ons!

american_mama

11-10-2009, 10:23 PM

I had a boss once, a fairly senior manager who always wore skirts/dresses, and she had foot problems which led her to wear sneakers every day, regardless of weather or outfit. If I saw you (or her) dressed for the occasion and the incongruous comfortable shoes, I'd assume that you needed to wear those comfortable shoes for health reasons. So that's what I'd recommend for you: wear whatever outfit you want, with the makeup, jewelry, accessories that you would normally choose, and just wear whatever you need to on your feet.

dcmom2b3

11-10-2009, 10:46 PM

It may be a regional thing, but I've worn pant suits to the few weddings I've been to in the past 10 years or so. Daytime or summer evening (non black tie) weddings I wear my pale yellow pantsuit. Winter black tie optional, I wear tux pants and a funky jacket; black tie weddings, I wear the full tux.

Yes, I own a gurltux, and it was the best impulse sale buy ever! I usually wear heels, but I could easily see wearing flats with it or the pale yellow number.

Cute bag and great earrings, nobody will be looking at what you're wearing on your feet!

kijip

11-10-2009, 11:16 PM

Add me to the "I wear pants" to weddings pile. Provided the pants or suit are dressy enough (and not just a business suit), I don't see how pants are less formal than a dress in this day and age for women.

Like Mary-Helen, I get a fair bit of use out of the girl tux. I own 3 dresses and none of them are appropriate for a formal wedding (sun dress, 1 little black number and 1 tweed shell with a matching jacket that I wear to funerals). My pant options are more festive actually.

If you want to wear a dress, I say wear it even if the shoes are not a perfect match.

TwinFoxes

11-11-2009, 12:21 AM

Yeah, I think that's my problem. I've never worn pants to a wedding either -- I love getting dressed up in dresses! And I think I'd just be super self-concious in them because people can be so judgemental.

Whoa, I just want to say I don't have a problem with anyone ELSE wearing pants! I wouldn't blink. One of my bridesmaid's girlfriends wore pants, and I didn't care. I wouldn't judge someone if they wore pants! But I get that you might be uncomfortable wearing pants if it's not what you're used to, because I would feel that way too. Does that make sense? NMS for me, but don't care if it's some one else's style. :)

LexyLou

11-11-2009, 01:14 AM

I think you could totally wear pants to a wedding. Not like khakis or trousers but there are some beautiful flowy pants out there that are just as dressy and sometimes even more stylish than a dress.

If you got a nice pair of flowy black pants, you would also kind of camoflauge the flats. It would look beautiful with a silky type top too.

SammyeGail

11-11-2009, 10:50 AM

I would focus my shopping around an awesome outfit that goes well with the black flats. Wear some great accessories.

You could try to bling our your flats with some decorative ribbon around the top, I found some here, this is cute:

http://www.mayarts.com/store/trimmings-embellishments/product/pt-25y-metalliceyelashwired/

You could cut these leaves out and put them on with double sided tape, have some spares in case they fall off ;), I like XL31

http://www.mayarts.com/store/new-arrivals/product/xl-1x15y-faux-suede-leaves/

I saw some cute hearts that could be cut apart, but can't find them now. If you are handy with a needle and thread you could sew on some cute ribbon not too snug (like the first one, just secure it on every 1-1.5") or if you have a friend who could do it.

You could check some craft/fabric B&M stores for some ribbon you could buy by the yard and get to see IRL. (getting totally flat ribbon wouldn't work, it would be very hard to get it to look good rounded around the toe area).

Good luck!

sidmand

11-11-2009, 11:17 AM

Well, the problem is that I can't just buy any pair of flats. The orthodic has to fit into them and while the edges can be trimmed a little, the arch comes way up and basically sticks out of a lot of shoes. So I can't order online because I really need to try the orthodic in them in person. Ninety-percent of the shoes I put them in don't work. The other problem is that I usually have to go up a size to get the orthodic to fit into the shoe and I wear size 11 to start with...finding a size 12 is not easy! I think I tried every pair of shoes in Nordstrom's last week and had absolutely no luck finding anything remotely dressy. There's another store I want to try this weekend but right now I'm thinking my black suede flats are going to be my best bet.

OT a bit but I also wear a size 11 shoe (haven't met many who did!) and the PT and podiatrist are talking about custom orthotics because of my plantar fasciitis. Have you found particular shoes that you like or particular orthotics? I end up buying many of my shoes online because it's hard to find an 11! And I (used to) buy a lot at Zappos because I could return them if they didn't fit. It is hard to buy shoes when you can't try them on in person but when no store carries your size it's even trickier!

wendibird22

11-11-2009, 12:11 PM

I've worn dressy chiffon pants before. Here's a look that I think is very dressy:
http://www.davidsbridal.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplayView?storeId=10052&catalogId=10051&categoryId=-49998958&currentIdx=25&subCategory=-49998976%7c-49998959%7c-49998958&catentryId=6094377&sort=

ciw

11-11-2009, 03:45 PM

Whoa, I just want to say I don't have a problem with anyone ELSE wearing pants! I wouldn't blink.
Sorry, Twinfoxes, that wasn't directed at you. What I was trying to say is that part of my hangup with wearing pants to a wedding is that it's NMS either and the other part of the problem is that some people, as the other poster mentioned, wouldn't understand the outfit since I don't (thankfully!) have crutches or a cane. But my post wasn't really clear.

OT a bit but I also wear a size 11 shoe (haven't met many who did!) and the PT and podiatrist are talking about custom orthotics because of my plantar fasciitis. Have you found particular shoes that you like or particular orthotics? I end up buying many of my shoes online because it's hard to find an 11! And I (used to) buy a lot at Zappos because I could return them if they didn't fit. It is hard to buy shoes when you can't try them on in person but when no store carries your size it's even trickier!

Sidmand, my orthodics came from my orthopedic surgeon. But actually, I'm just as comfortable in some Naots. They have removeable footbeds so I can wear the orthodics if I prefer but usually I just wear the one that came in the shoe. They have different collections and each is cut differently -- some wider, some narrower, etc. so you have to try them out to see which one works best for you. The Koru collection, ugly as it is, is most comfortable for me but it's definitely not suitable for a wedding which is why I'm looking at using the orthodics in another type of shoe. And yes, finding shoes in an 11 is tough and a 12 is virtually impossible. Being tall and slim is nice but I sure wish my feet weren't the same way!

khm

11-11-2009, 04:19 PM

How "bad" do the orthodics look? I guess if I saw them peeking from someone's shoes, I wouldn't really bat an eye, I'd assume there was an injury or some type of therapy and that'd be that.

I get wanting to cover them up, too, though. I guess it's a matter of which "feels" more uncomfortable - having them show, or wearing an outfit you wouldn't otherwise choose.

Are any type of boots an option? Those slouchy leather ones with a flowy skirt?

Naranjadia

11-11-2009, 04:53 PM

My mom wore pants to my wedding. It was a really lovely silk outfit. She also wears orthotics. Her pants and flowing tunic top were so smashing I don't think anyone looked at her feet. I know she was wearing black athletic shoes, only because they are the only shoes she can wear.

vejemom

11-11-2009, 06:33 PM

Are any type of boots an option? Those slouchy leather ones with a flowy skirt?

That's a great idea, if your orthotics will fit in them. You can get some really pretty flat boots. Can you do a slight heel? When I stress fractured my ankle a couple years ago, I found that I felt better in a small (no more than 1 inch) heel than an absolutely flat shoe. A kitten heel or similar carved heel could be cute. I know nothing about wearing orthotics, though, so maybe that wouldn't work.

It would never occur to me not to wear pants to a wedding. Heck, one of my bridesmaids actually wore a fancy pants suit (I just told them to wear a black outfit that they felt fabulous in). Kind of like a girl tuxedo, but with a sparkly top. FWIW, I would so own a girl tux if I were taller!

vejemom

11-11-2009, 06:51 PM

HIU8

11-11-2009, 09:45 PM

I didn't read all the responses yet. I have never worn pants to a wedding. However, if I had some really fancy pants I would definitely do it. I do not like dresses and stockings. I am much much more relaxed and comfy in pants. I have a wedding on NYE. You have just given me a great idea to go out and find some really fancy pants and a top to wear to this wedding (I wonder if I can get away with it if the wedding is black tie).