Legal/Custody/Social work question?

[Melaine]

To make a long story short, my friend's husband's daughter has been placed with her grandparents because her birthmother (who has physical custody) was arrested for drunk driving (w/ kids in the car). My friend and DH were not informed about any of this for 2 weeks (they have visitation rights). They just found out from grandparents who are keeping the kids. They have contacted lawyer but are not getting answers or a clear response. The social worker has been evasive. The Child abuse trial is upcoming in a week or two, lawyer still hasn't given them any info. What should they do?

DF feels that SW didn't follow protocol or act appropriately by not contacting DH at all or responding to calls. They are just in the dark and really want to pursue the best outcome and protect DSD and the other children. This is also out of town making the situation more tricky. Are there resources for standard procedures in these cases that we can consult? She is afraid the court case will come up and they will not even know what to do, whether to appear or not and the lawyer will not be prepared. ANY advice is appreciated. TIA!!!!

[bubbaray]

They need to hire a lawyer. Period. A lawyer will deal with all of issues they are concerned about.

[Melaine]

They need to hire a lawyer. Period. A lawyer will deal with all of issues they are concerned about.

Yes, I guess the problem is that the lawyers are putting them off a little. The first meeting with the lawyer is the same week as the trial so they are nervous that he won't be prepared since he hasn't called them back very well. Is it normally that hard to reach a lawyer because they have been calling for the last 3 weeks and they are kind of getting the runaround?

[bubbaray]

They need to find a lawyer who will see them asap. Stress that it is a child abuse case where the state has seized the children and placed them in a non-parental home, possibly in breach of the (court ordered?) custody agreement (assuming that possibility is raised in the custody agreement). Tell them that there is likely a first appearance (unlikely to be a trial this soon I would think) happening asap and they need representation so that the child is placed with the father....



GL!

[Reyadawnbringer]

They need to find a lawyer who will see them asap. Stress that it is a child abuse case where the state has seized the children and placed them in a non-parental home, possibly in breach of the (court ordered?) custody agreement (assuming that possibility is raised in the custody agreement). Tell them that there is likely a first appearance (unlikely to be a trial this soon I would think) happening asap and they need representation so that the child is placed with the father....



GL!

:yeahthat:

And I think what Bubbaray is saying is that they need to find their OWN lawyer, NOT the lawyer representing the child. They don't necessarily see parents as the clients, only the child.

Good luck.

[Melaine]

:yeahthat:

And I think what Bubbaray is saying is that they need to find their OWN lawyer, NOT the lawyer representing the child. They don't necessarily see parents as the clients, only the child.

Good luck.

Thanks guys. Yes, they have sought out a different lawyer and have a meeting planned. I guess they are concerned since he has not been returning their calls that he is not taking the case seriously or just doesn't care. I will pass this advice on to her. Bubbaray, thanks for your advice. I agree a lawyer should be more responsive considering these circumstances. Nice to hear that from you!
Here's another question. DF and her DH found out about the abuse case (or hearing, not sure about terminology) from doing a search through public records (or something to that effect). They only found out about this situation because the grandparents essentially ratted the birth mom out. She had intended to conceal the situation and if it weren't for the grandparents they would have no knowledge of any of this. The social workers have not contacted them at all and have been evasive when they called themselves (refusing to give details, etc.)
Shouldn't they have been informed? It is as if his rights as a father have been totally bypassed, IMO, ykwim? I realize that they should be asking the lawyer these questions but they have called three lawyers total and none of them have really helped them figure this out yet.

[MoJo]

No real advice for them, except DON'T GIVE UP! I know it's not the norm, but I know at least three dads who now have full custody of their DC due to situations like this. Dads can and do get custody.

[Reyadawnbringer]

In any experience I have ever had with the social work system the placement heirarchy is parents first. now obviously that wouldn't work if both parents live together and are under suspicion for abuse, but in this case where they live seperately and have a custodial agreement then the father SHOULD have been contacted FIRST. Also, when the grandparents were approached to care for the DC they should have offered up information about the father as consideration for placement.

Unless there are mitigating circumstances at work here it smells like something fishy to me. And YES, the lawyers SHOULD be more responsive, I would ask to speak to the social workers supervisor to find out just exactly what is going on.

[DietCokeLover]

but in this case where they live seperately and have a custodial agreement then the father SHOULD have been contacted FIRST.

This is true.

Melaine, I'm not sure if you remember this or not, but I worked with child abuse/ custody when I lived there. I'm pretty familiar with the system there in your state (my former state). If you want, PM me or call and I can try to talk you through some of it. I may even know names of people they could talk to or shed some light on those they are dealing with.

[Melaine]

This is true.

Melaine, I'm not sure if you remember this or not, but I worked with child abuse/ custody when I lived there. I'm pretty familiar with the system there in your state (my former state). If you want, PM me or call and I can try to talk you through some of it. I may even know names of people they could talk to or shed some light on those they are dealing with.

DUH! Of course I remember that, just didn't even think of it!
Thanks, girl. I will give you a call later when the children are not arguing so loudly about the pretend bottle of ketchup.