If you and your DH have separate bank accounts...

[elektra]

how does that work exactly?
Do you still have a joint account for fixed expenses like mortgage? Do you just transfer a set amount from your paycheck to the joint account?
Is this something you did from the very beginning?

[hanaum02]

We have a joint checking and savings account and then I have my own (small) checking account. We've done it like this from the beginning and it was primarily just to avoid having someone forget to record a check or ATM withdrawal from a singular account. This way I put about $250 from each of my paychecks into my personal checking account and then I just use that for ATM withdrawals, etc. Then my husband uses the "master"/joint account for his cash needs. Although we almost always pay bill from the joint account, sometimes my account gets bigger than I need. Then I'll just pay a bill or two from that one.

[ray7694]

My dh and I have had separate accounts since the beginning. We are both very independant people who got married later in life so used to doing our own finances. When we tried to combine it was a nightmare to keep track of because we both use our debit card a ton.

Together we decided how much we would need for household expenses and my dh transfers his share into my account after each pay period and I pay all of the household bills. I can look at his account and vise versa so no big deal.

It works for us.

[HIU8]

DH and I have always had separate bank accounts. We have a joint checking account for household and kids expenses and a joint savings account. My account is now for preschool/camp payments only. DH was getting paid from an older job where he was doing side work (unrelated to his current job), But, DH actually just closed his account b/c he was transfering it into the joint account to pay bills anyways (sucks to have a paycut at work when his company was sold to a larger company). I'm not closing my account, but only b/c I work PT from home and am paid differently than DH--I can more easily keep track of my pay for tax purposes outside of our main account.

[infocrazy]

Ours are separate, just because we both had direct deposit set up and never went to change it... They are technically both joint but typically we only write checks out of our "own" unless we tell the other. We each pay some of the monthly bills but DH pays more. I pay insurance out of my paycheck and having an automatic transfer to our savings account.

Honestly, it just sort of evolved. DH is better about paying the bills so he started doing that. We've talked about merging but DH is at a credit union that he likes the perks, while I prefer the major bank I am at for ease of access for deposits/ATMs etc...

[codex57]

Always separate, but we've been together since we were like 19 or 20. We bank at the same bank and keep a joint savings which we use to easily transfer money back and forth online.

It sorta evolved that certain bills get paid by a certain person, but if we need to, we move funds around. Usually that's dictated by autopay and whether that person has enough in the account or not.

[MoJo]

Ours are separate, just because we both had direct deposit set up and never went to change it... They are technically both joint but typically we only write checks out of our "own" unless we tell the other. We each pay some of the monthly bills but DH pays more. I pay insurance out of my paycheck

I could have written what infocrazy wrote. . . except both of our joint accounts were established years after we were married.

FWIW, I'm definitely the money person, and basically, I run both accounts.

Also, be aware that if you (or your spouse) have a single account, if something happens to that person (anything from temporary incapacitation to death) then the other partner will have a difficult time accessing that money. That's why our accounts are registered jointly, even though I handle them.

[lilycat88]

We have joint checking and a couple of savings accounts. Each of us has our individual checking and savings account as well.

Each of us deposits the majority of our pay into one of the joint accounts (depending on budget) and we each retain a small amount ($400 a month, perhaps) for our use. We belong to a credit union that requires a money market/savings account along with a checking account. So, if I build up more than need into checking, I'll switch some over to savings. If I end up with an amount greater than I need in savings, I'll just switch some over to one of our joint accounts. I don't know what he spends "his" money on and he doesn't know mine. BAsically, it feeds our Starbucks addiction.

[maylips]

We have two checking accounts, mainly because we use our debit cards a lot and having our own separate accounts keeps us safeguarded from either of us overdrawing.

DH pays the "hard bills" - mortgage, phones, water/electric, etc. I pay for groceries and childcare. We both have money taken out of our accounts to go into a joint savings.

I just quit my job last week so I'm not sure what we're going to do once I have no income coming in. I'll now be in charge of managing the household accounts so it doesn't make sense to keep two, but we'll see.

[infocrazy]

I could have written what infocrazy wrote. . . except both of our joint accounts were established years after we were married.

FWIW, I'm definitely the money person, and basically, I run both accounts.

Also, be aware that if you (or your spouse) have a single account, if something happens to that person (anything from temporary incapacitation to death) then the other partner will have a difficult time accessing that money. That's why our accounts are registered jointly, even though I handle them.

That is actually why we made them joint. They weren't until we were expecting DS1. We wanted to make sure that should something happen during the delivery, DH had full access. DH pays most of our bills from his and so the bulk of the money is in mine so it was important to give him better access. It was on our to do list for ages but never moved up until DS1.

[pb&j]

This is what we've always done - we were both very independent grownups when we got married. We both have our own checking accounts, and we have a joint account where we stash money for things like vacations, home improvements, etc. We don't make "scheduled" deposits to that account - but when things like unexpected bonuses, FSA payments, or the like come in, we put them in the joint account.

Our system has always been that we basically divvy up the bills - about once a year, we figure out who pays which bills - generally, one of us pays the mortgage, and the other one takes most of the other bills (phone, internet, utilities, etc). We are each responsible for our own spending money. If we have any joint purchases, we just figure it out on the fly. Typically, he pays a larger portion of the bills than me, b/c I pay for health insurance premiums, FSA $$, and 401(k) contributions out of my salary. But honestly, we don't really keep track. It's difficult to know what exactly his income is since it varies seasonally, may change depending on which expenses can be deducted, and isn't precisely predictable. But if one partner is feeling squeezed, we'll readjust the bills as necessary.

It's a very fluid non-system, but it works for us! I will say that it only works so well because we are both very disciplined about money, and have the same philosophy on spending and saving. If there was any discrepancy in our attitudes and actions, we'd be fighting like cats and dogs about money all the time.

[arivecchi]

We've always had separate accounts. DH pays most of our major bills (mortgage, car) and I pay the others. I have the savings acct.

[wendibird22]

We have a joint checking and savings that both our paychecks are deposited into and we pay all our bills from these including any major home projects, vacations, massive purchases.

We also both have our own independent checking account (but we have both names on both accounts for legal access even though we don't touch each other's slush money). Each personal account gets a transfer of money each pay period and each person has the discretion how how it's spent...clothes, hair cuts (like my highlights), girls/boys nights, gifts we buy each other, random splurges, etc. This works sooooo well because then each of us has a small pool of money that we don't feel we need to get the other person's approval to spend. If you wish to save it up great. If you wish to spend every dime every month, that's your choice. No criticism ever. It's not a huge some of money so neither of us can go crazy with it, but it is enough that each of us feels we have some financial freedoms.

I am the CFO of the household and manage all of the joint accounts, the transferring of funds to our discretionary accounts, and the bill paying including our joint credit card. DH has to balance his checkbook for his own discretionary account and has to pay his own personal credit card bill and I do the same for mine.

It works well for us and we really never fight about money or bills.

[secchick]

Our checking accounts are separate. We never did the whole joint account for joint expenses thing. I owned a house before we got married so I have always been the one to pay the mortgage and all household bills. I bet he couldn't even tell you how much our mortgage payment is. DH pays his phone, car note, and daycare expenses and I pay everything else. All savings/brokerage are joint, but typically he is terrible at remembering all the login information so he will tell me to transfer $X from his account to savings for him. So technically, we buy whatever we want without approval, but most expenses also go on my Amex (well, he is an authorized user, but I pay the bill) because it has the best reward. But I buy what I want for the kids and he consults for any purchases over a couple hundred or so. I am the primary money manager.

[crl]

We don't have separate accounts. But my parents always have. They are both joint accounts. They have a certain amount deposited into each and then they are each responsible for different expenses, for example, I know dad pays the utility bills and I know mom pays for groceries. My grandparents (mom's parents) did something similar.

Catherine

[khalloc]

DH and I have always have separate accounts. We split up the bills. He pays almost all the bills, the mortgage, his car payment, his credit card balance.

I pay for daycare, my credit cards, and most of the grocery shopping.

I like not having him see what I spend money on. :)

[L'sMommy]

we have always had separate accounts. we do have a joint account to transfer money back and forth to each other if needed. over time, it has evolved so that he pays certain bills and I pay certain bills. i've never had a situation where i needed to ask him for money (except once when i was on maternity leave, which is unpaid). that said, both of us are big savers so we don't get into fights about how to spend the money. when DS was born we got a joint credit card, which I use for some of the bigger purchases for DS.

[Snow mom]

We have separate checking accounts and then a joint checking account. Our pay checks get deposited into our personal accounts and then we transfer a set amount into the joint account for groceries, bills, etc. The house is technically mine so I pay a larger chunk of the mortgage from my account and DH pays a smaller set amount from his. I thought we would combine our accounts when DD was born but we ended up just putting a larger amount into our joint account each month to cover daycare and other related expenses. Sometimes it seems ridiculous to me that we own a home, two dogs, and a baby together but have separate accounts, but so far it's worked for us.

[khm]

We have two joint accounts. One his paycheck goes into, one mine goes into.

His pays the mortgage automatically. We don't even think about it, it just goes.

Mine used to pay the cars automatically, but they've been paid off for years. Mine generally pays the bill expenses.

I have mine set up to pay $100 for all the variable amount recurring monthly bills. The $100 is basically a placeholder amount to remind me that Bill X is due on the 14th, or whatever.

Generally, the credit cards are paid with mine, though sometimes we use his if the balance is getting kind of "high".

[daisymommy]

And one more twist for ya:
We have a "main account" that the majority of DH's paycheck goes into each payday. Out of that comes all the fixed bills (mortgage, utilities, car payment, insurance, etc.). These bills are auto-debited.

Then DH and I each have our own personal account that is linked to the main account, and we each get a certain sum of money auto-deposited into it each payday. Out of DH's money he pays for his lunches each day while at work, his dry cleaning, gas, and some left over for "fun stuff" like Starbucks :) Out of my account I pay for the groceries & household items, my gas, and anything for the kids or myself (small items--not major purchases like seasonal clothing).

It's a good set up, because then no-one is bugging the other person about how they buy too many CD's, shoes, whatever. If we have the money in our own account to spend on it, then it's fair game.

We have an agreement that anything major ($100 or more)--like seasonal clothing purchases for ourselves or the kids we will decide together how much we are going to spend and that comes out of the "main account".

Side note: we also have a family savings account that a certain percentage of DH's paycheck goes into as well.

[Toba]

We don't have anything separate, but my parents have ALWAYS had separate checking accounts. My mother is a shopaholic and has on numerous occasions screwed up her checking account and my father just can't deal with it. Honestly, I believe it's saved their marriage. LOL They both have jobs, always have (my mom was a WOHM with all three of her kids). The way they work it is that my father has certain bills he pays for out of his checking account (pretty much anything to do with mortgage, taxes, utilities, insurance, etc. ... the main stuff basically) and my mother is responsible for her things ... she pays for all the groceries, her clothing, her car payment and any luxuries she feels she needs. He often gives her extra money to cover for things. They also have a joint checking account that is for emergencies and the checkbook is in a safe place. It's weird, and I never understood it but they've done it this way for decades. My father is one of those people that when he passes, we'll be finding banking statements for accounts we never knew existed.

[bubbaray]

DH and I have completely separate finances. Separate chequing accounts, separate investments, separate college savings for the girls, separate retirement accounts. On all investments, we have designated each other as beneficiaries (to minimize estate taxes, though we would have to structure things differently if we lived in the US). We split household expenses and each pay for specific things during the month. He pays the mortgage (I pay him 1/2 via cheque monthly), I pay daycare, etc..

We tried a joint account VERY briefly when we purchased our house 10 years ago and it did.not.work. We have very different spending styles and investment styles. We were both older and "entrenched" in our personal financial styles by that point in our lives -- neither was willing to change.

Our way works for us, for the most part. I'd rather do it this way than have joint accounts b/c we just do not function well like that. If we had met/married/had a house/family when we were younger and not into our "own" habits, things might have been different.

HTH