When did you tell your older DC(s) you were expecting another?

[citymama]

We haven't yet told DD that she has a new sibling on the way. I'm at 15 weeks, and thought I would wait until the 18 week ultrasound to make sure everything looks good (fingers and toes crossed). We will also know the gender then. DD is very resistant to the idea of a baby and I know it will be easier if we can say "it's a baby sister!" (No idea what we'll do if it's a boy!)

But I also don't want her to find out some other way. I've had a yucky pregnancy so far and she keeps asking when I'm going to get better and can lift her again. She says I've been eating too much and my tummy is getting fat. A few parents at her school know. I'm worried that she will find out some other way before we tell her.

Did you wait, or tell right away? Did that strategy work? Would love to hear success stories of how you told your older kid(s) you were expecting new baby, esp. older ones who do *not* want to entertain the idea of another baby in the house. Thanks!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Our ds was older, almost 5. I waited till I was out of the 1st trimester. We told him when we wanted the rest of the world to know. He did just fine. I don't think it totally shook his world, or at least not till the EDD came closer.

BEth

[MommyAllison]

We told DD right away, knowing that she would be excited. We waited to tell family until 10 weeks, and others until 15 weeks. If we get pregnant again, we will not be able to tell DD til we're ready for everyone to know, as she cannot keep secrets worth beans anymore. :) At almost-2 though, she kept the secret.

[BabyMine]

We told M as soon as we knew. He could of cared less. He really didn't understand.

[mecawa]

We told DD1 when I was about 12 weeks along. She was 4 at that time, and was very excited.

[eliasmom]

We told DD around the 12 wk mark. I was totally surprised that she kept the secret. We also took her along to the 20 wk u/s when we found out gender. She had insisted that she wanted a baby sister and, upon seeing her brother on the screen, immediately announced, "I don't want THAT baby!" We talked about her brother all the time and she knew his name when no one else did. By the time he arrived, she was pretty happy to have a brother (other than the first few days after we came home). Now she informed me that we will be having another baby and it will be a sister. :eek:

Good luck breaking the news!

[deannanb]

End of 1st trimester for everyone!

[Melbel]

We also waited until the end of the first trimester to tell DS and DD1 that we were expecting. It was truly one of my favorite, most cherished memories. They were so excited and still adore their baby sister.

[infomama]

The day I took the home test and it was awesome. DD1 was over the moon and we let her make the announcement to my mom and my in laws that day.

[khalloc]

We told DD I think at 10 weeks. It was when we had the 1st doctors appointment and made sure everything was good. She was only about 22 months old at the time.

When we finally did find out we were having a boy (she had just turned 2), she was very excited for a brother. She never once made a stink about wanting a girl instead.

[Neatfreak]

We waited until DD1 noticed and asked, actually, which was sometime in the 2nd tri. She was four years old, and had several friends who were expecting new siblings, so she made the connection b/w a new baby and a growing belly.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

We started the adoption process in August 2007 when my older daughter was four and a half. We told her soon after, because we thought the home study would take a month or two and then another month for a referral and then travel in four months. Then things slowed down in Taiwan and it ended up taking us until April of 2009 when she was six years old to bring home her baby sister.

We had 20 months of her asking when we could go to Taiwan to get our baby sister. She was old enough to understand that we had to wait our turn with other people in line before us. but I think it was very hard on her to wait so long. But her excitement helped keep us excited too, so I am not sure I would do it any differently.

[AnnieW625]

We told DD early last time around 10 to 12 weeks I think because we didn't want her jumping on me (she was 2/1/2 and going through a big jumping phase). After going through what we went through last time we are going to wait as long as we possibly can to tell her I am pregnant; it will probably coincide with my belly really popping out there. So far I've been really lucky and can still wear most of my normal clothes with a bella band.

We aren't sure if we are going to find out the sex or not so if we don't we'll just tell her that she is going to have a baby brother or sister.

[wolverine2]

I think we told DS (who was going on 3) when I was closer to the end of the second trimester. I didn't want to tell him too early because little kids have no sense of time, and 40 weeks is a loooong time for a 2 yr old. I wanted just enough time that we would have time to talk about it/read books, but not enough that it would feel like an eternity for him until the baby showed up. The only annoying part was that I was clearly showing by then, and other people would start to ask DS about being a brother, and I'd have to give them a dirty look.

[brittone2]

I don't remember when we told DS when I was pg with DD. It was pretty early. I had an US around 6.5 weeks and my parents watched him at the hospital while I had it. I can't remember if I showed him the pics right away or not. How sad that I can't remember for sure!

This time around we told them right around maybe 10ish weeks (had an US at 9 weeks for dating). DS is 5.5 and was kinda freaked out about my nausea and vomiting (he hates throwing up and was afraid I was contagious despite my reassurances ;) ). Anyway, we told him maybe 2-3 weeks before we shared more broadly. We told DD at that time too. DS also saw the numerous HPTs around the house and I remember him seeing the + when I got it and looking at it very analytically and then saying "this means you aren't pregnant." I think he was testing the waters for a response.

eta: I also show really early obviously. I got sent for a "twin check" US at 15 weeks. So you can imagine by 10-12 weeks I already had a pretty good baby bump going on and DS is pretty aware of things like that ;)

[WatchingThemGrow]

at their first birthday parties :)

Really, no idea. Does a 9-10 mo old understand such things? I say to wait until you're ready for everyone else to know. There are some great books to explain things. Well, not everything;)

[MoJo]

I'm curious what age they can actually understand.

We've "told" DD, but at 17 months, I don't think she has any clue at all what it means that we're going to have another baby in the family.

[citymama]

We waited until DD1 noticed and asked, actually, which was sometime in the 2nd tri. She was four years old, and had several friends who were expecting new siblings, so she made the connection b/w a new baby and a growing belly.

This is DD. She's really quite perceptive and has been commenting on my belly since probably 8 weeks. (I'm losing weight everywhere else so the belly is even more obvious. But still mostly wearing non-maternity clothes.) She has many friends who are big sisters/brothers or have new babies, so I think she is very aware about what could be going on. I just don't think she believes her mama - all hers, all the time! - would ever have another baby!

I think we'll tell her right after the 18 week u/s, hoping all goes well!

[maestramommy]

When I was preggo with Arwyn I think we told Dora about two months before I was due. When I was preggo with Arwyn I think we told Dora maybe at 6 months? That's when I was really starting to show, and we knew by then she'd understand the concept more. Before I think she was just too young, and she wasn't talking yet either, so it was hard to have a conversation about it.