To those extended nursers...

[ourbabygirl]

Did/ do you get flack from others (relatives, friends/ acquaintances) who know you still nurse(d) past a year? Do you have any good responses for them? DD is 13 months and I'm still nursing her when she wakes up and before she goes to bed, so most of the time I'm not around others, and if it's her bedtime and we're with family or friends, I'll go in another room and do it (under the guise that I'm putting on her jammies and starting her bedtime routine). It hasn't been an issue, but tomorrow I'm going on a trip w/DD and my mom, and we'll be sharing a hotel room, so she'll definitely know that I'm still nursing, as I'll be doing it when DD wakes up and before bed. Before having a baby I thought the whole nursing-after-a-year thing was strange, because like a lot of people in society, I associated breasts with sexual stuff. So now I've changed my tune after going through the whole experience, and if DD refused, I definitely wouldn't force it on her, but since she seems to like/ need it, I'm fine with still doing it.
The other thing I'm wondering is how you handle things like date nights or a girls' night out if you're still nursing your little one before bed. Do you just skip it that night, or do it a lot earlier, or once you get home and your DC is sleeping? I nurse DD around 6:15 or 6:30 p.m., but I've always just planned things (going out w/DH, to a movie with a friend, to an exercise class) for after that time frame.

Any tips from your experience? I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but as no one else in my family or group of friends nursed past a year, I'm kind of in uncharted territory. I realize I shouldn't have to hide it, but sometimes society (books and people) can make you feel ashamed about it, like a weirdo :wink2:.

Thanks for your help!

[jgenie]

YUP!! I nursed DS until he was 18 months. I had planned to nurse longer but decided to wean him when we got pregnant with DC2. I got the most flack from my mom which really surprised me but she is also the most vocal about DS extended rear facing as well. I didn't volunteer the information, but if I was asked directly I would tell people that DS was still nursing. I stated the information matter of factly and made sure to use a tone that conveyed the issue was not open for discussion. I'm sorry you're feeling nervous about people knowing. I remember being there. I'm hoping that for DS' generation breastfeeding and extended breastfeeding will be a nonissue. :hug:

[twowhat?]

Totally understand! My girls are 14 months, still nursing 4 times a day (wake, before bed, and after each nap). I could probably pretty easily drop the after-nap sessions but I just haven't yet. They hate cow's milk so I'm trying to get them more used to that first. YES I get the "they are STILL breastfeeding?" from the family. Even my husband will mention something about "When are we going to wean you?" when they are crying hysterically for their milk...that's hard to ignore but I do because I think he really just wants my boobs back:) Do what YOU and YOUR BABY want to do! I totally know...it's HARD to listen to these comments. And I don't want to be "rude" to family by telling them some clever come-back so I just ignore, or I tell them that "the doctor said they should still be getting 18 oz of milk per day, and they don't like cow's milk". Which is the truth. You are doing great, and it is a a huge accomplishment to nurse this long. Way to go, mama!

As for going out...honestly I just don't (very much). If we go out to a dinner or movie or whatever, we go after the girls are in bed. During the day I am comfortable nursing in the car so we will do that when we are out and about. I do not hide the fact that I am nursing to anyone. I'm proud to have made it so far!

[wolverine2]

Not sure that it's "flack," but I definitely get the "are you STILL nursing?" or "you aren't still nursing, are you?" kind of questions- particularly from my mother. (I am STILL nursing my 23 month old). She's never said she thinks it's weird, but that's the tone I get. I just ignore her since she doesn't keep talking about it. If you need to, tell your mom the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding till 2. But I wouldn't bring it up unless she says something.

When I am out at night, DS just doesn't nurse. Obviously he knows it only comes from me, so when someone else puts him to bed, it's fine.

[sarahsthreads]

I did get flack with DD1, who self-weaned at almost 2.5. I do get flack with DD2, but I don't take it anymore. I couldn't really care less if someone is uncomfortable with the idea of nursing past a year, that's their own problem to deal with. If you feel you need an excuse, say that your pediatrician recommended nursing through the flu season to boost your DD's immunity. (Nobody argues with the "my pediatrician recommended..." line.)

As far as nursing at bedtime, I work 2 nights a week and I'm often gone a third night most weeks, and DH just puts DD2 to bed - he's got his own bedtime routine for her that (obviously) doesn't include nursing. I skip it for that night. But DD2 also nurses more like 3-5 times a day (morning, before nap, bedtime, and often mid-morning and/or mid-afternoon if we're not out and about and busy) so skipping one nursing isn't uncomfortable for me.

Really, don't let it be a big deal. If it's working for you and your DD, that's all that's important. :)

Sarah :)

[new_mommy25]

I nursed both kids until they were 3. My Mom was an extended nurser so I never heard a peep out of that side of the family. My IL's raised a few eyebrows but they were far too polite to ever say anything. Most of my friends were ladies I met at LLL (I moved here when DS was 8 months so had to actively seek friends) so to them nursing was normal.

As for date night stuff, we would either go out early, like a 5:30 dinner, or later, after the kids were asleep. And we liked to stay close in the neighborhood in case MIL called us and we needed to head home. For girls night out, honestly, I didn't go on too many when the kids were young. I'm loving them up now, though! I did host a few that were AT my home, so if the kids woke up I was right here.

[daphne]

DD is 2 & I still nurse her 3x/day. I haven't received any negative comments, maybe b/c I only nurse at home, so most people have no idea I'm still nursing. When people ask if I'm still nursing, I usually just reply "Yep. I think I"ll try to wean her sometime in the spring." Noone has ever had anything to ask/say after that.

DH has just recently been able to put DD down for bed/naps. Otherwise, I could only go out after I had nursed her before bed. Freedom!!!!

[spanannie]

No one gives me a hard time about it except DH. I have no idea why.

DS nursed 19 mos., DD1 nursed 28 mos., and DD2 is still nursing almost 17 mos and still going strong.

Of course you bring up date night or girls night out. The only time we go out at night sans kids is for school functions or other things we have to be at. Then I have to bring over my mom, since she can get her to sleep w/o nursing. So, I guess it sort of gets in the way of a nighttime social life, but, hey, I have 3 kids so what's a social life?! LOL DH can't get DD to sleep -- or doesn't try hard enough -- so no going out for me unless my mom comes over to help with bedtime.

[brittone2]

My mom nursed me until I was 18 months (which I told her prekids was totally gross...repeatedly. My poor mom). I never got flack from my parents even w/ nursing beyond that age. I told them about the AAP, WHO, AAFP, etc. recommendations in passing but never because they made it an issue.

My ILs weren't fond of extended nursing, but they weren't fond of BFing in general at any age. At some point they realized we were still nursing and when it came up I brought up that our physicians were not just tolerant but highly supportive. We discussed the AAP, WHO, AAFP recommendations (no upper limit to age for BFing, BFing recommended to at least age 1 per AAP, at least age 2 per WHO, and AAFP says weaning prior to 2 years puts a child at increased risk of illness and death.) My ILs have issues w/ a lot of things though so we mostly have a policy of not discussing or debating with them. And honestly, with BFing it is fruitless anyway as they aren't supportive of it period. MIL considers it "beneath" anyone of any means to buy formula. I've told them if they want to make it an issue, I'll discuss it w/ them right after they go get their MDs after their names...otherwise it is between us, our child/children, and our physician.

I have some childless friends who know we extended BF. They are at least open to hearing why and what the recommendations are and don't say anything nasty or negative to me directly at least. I have several IRL friends who BF beyond a year so I at least have that support as well.

My kids go to bed late, so for date night, etc. we were just back in time for a 9-10pm bedtime. It didn't bother me really. (eta: beyond age 2 I'd say my DH was able to get the kids to sleep without me. It took a little longer but wasn't traumatic for them. Under 2 he could do it but it usually involved some tears on their part). We rarely need/needed to do that though.

I personally just feel it is best to be unapologetic, and as my DH has taught me...kill them w/ kindness and enthusiasm. When it comes up in conversation, we just play up how well it works for us, how we're glad to have the opportunity, etc. rather than being apologetic and slinking away like we're doing something wrong. I find it catches people off guard and they are less likely to have nasty things to say when you express your own happiness with the situtation. LIke others, I didn't necessarily volunteer the info and by age 2 we almost never NIP, but when people asked, I just talked about how well it worked for us, etc. With flu season you can also play up how you are so thankful to be able to give her antibodies, etc. through the flu season.

[MoJo]

I think my mom is the only one (besides DH, of course) who knows I nursed past a year, other than the ped who just said I should wean her by the next visit at 15 months (which I didn't do). Exact same as you. . . just first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

I also thought extended BFing was weird until I got there, and had had several moms who nursed their kids several years ago a point of telling me so before we got to that stage.

I thought my mom would give me a hard time, but she didn't. (My mom never nursed). I hope that your mom turns out the same. I did give her my rationale for why I had changed my position from "that's kind of weird" to "that's what I'm doing for my child," including 1) helping her immune system especially during cold and flu season 2) nursing just twice a day is no longer inconvenient and 3) DD really enjoys this part of her life, and I don't have a single good reason to stop besides other people (who never see us) thinking it's strange.

The only "girls night out" I've had involved me taking my DD, so I just nursed her when we got home. She fell asleep in the car, but always wakes when I transfer her inside, so I just changed her and nursed her as usual. I think YOU would be OK to skip a night, but it would depend on how DD would do going to bed without it. (We're now in the process of an extended weaning due to my pregnancy; nursing twice a day was just too traumatic for both of us. So now she's only nursing once every few days, and we've been doing that for a few weeks. But it still makes DH nervous to think about trying to put DD to bed by himself without BF first, even though now she doesn't typically nurse before bed! And she did REALLY well with the transition.) So I'd see how your DH/baby seem to feel about that.

I hope you have a good trip!

[SnuggleBuggles]

No one bugged me at all. My mom never got the whole bf'ing thing but a simple "it's best for him/ us" worked fine and she said no more. :) All of my good friends nursed past 12m so it is very common for me. I did have one friend who gave me a hard time but we hadn't seen each other in years and in many ways we had grown apart and were not on the same page with many parenting philosophies. I didn't let her words bug me.

After a year I didn't make an effort to run home to nurse before bed. He did fine without it so things were pretty easy.

Beth

[egoldber]

Well my ILs think nursing is gross. Period. And can't understand why I went to great lengths to nurse Amy when she was a preemie (that fact that she wouldn't take a bottle seems to have not occurred to them as a very basic reason to nurse....). They tolerated it for a year. After a year, my MIL made it known she though I was "damaging my child", at which point I told her it was no longer a topic of conversation, ever, at the risk of damaging our relationship. She never mentioned it again, although I know she disapproves.

I am still nursing Amy at 3, although she actually will go days without nursing now. But then she has days where she wants to nurse. We are definitely on the way to weaning though.

I will say that I stopped nursing Amy in public after she was about 18 months old (except for LLL meetings). It was just not worth the hassle to me and she was old enough to understand that she had to wait until we were home.

[hellokitty]

You really need to go to LLL mtgs. Lots of extended BFers there, and they can give you tips treat you like you are, "normal" and not weird for ExtBF. I nurse my kids for a long time. Longest was DS2, one month shy of turning 3 yrs old. I got a LOT of flack from family. My parents didn't even want me to BF. My mil who BF'd wanted me to use formula. My mom spent the first 6 mo of DS1's life bringing formula with her every time she came to visit. She said she thought she was being, "helpful," even though I told her she was undermining my decision to BF. Now that I am on DS3, neither side even bothers to bug me about it, b/c they know that I will just ignore them and do whatever I want to do.

If you want a good, "go to" response to ppl giving you a hard time, I have a good one. Technically, when your child starts solids they are starting the process of weaning. So, when ppl say things like, "Why haven't you weaned yet?!?" (with their eyes all bugged out), just tell them, "We've already started." Technically you are not lying, your child HAS started to wean, b/c she is taking solids. Nobody ever said how LONG it has to take to wean, kwim? After a while it will stop bugging you though. I say that becoming a parent has really helped me to grow some thick skin, b/c both sides of the family are extremely critical and I've just basically learned to ignore them or basically tell them to mind their own business, esp since they don't know anything about BFing.

Like I said, start attending LLL, you will meet other like-minded moms and it helps so much to know that there are other ppl who ExtBF. I felt the same way. Ppl are weird. Once your baby hits 12 mo, they think you should cut them off cold turkey and start getting all weird about a baby who is still BF. The worst one is when they say, "if a baby can ask to nurse, he/she is too old." This one really stumps me. Even though younger babies can't talk, they give us signs that they need to nurse. They cry, get fussy, or they root. How is that any different from non-verbal cues? Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent. I think it is great you are still BFing your baby. Don't let other ppl get you down. To find your local LLL group go to www.llli.org

[strollerqueen]

Yeah, lots of flack. Although I suppose if I saw a 10 or 12 year old nursing, I would feel a little uneasy. I guess everyone has their own comfort zone! :ROTFLMAO:

[ellies mom]

I nursed my oldest until she was 2.5 and I'm still nursing my youngest at 19 months. I never got any flack. I think my uncle and grandmother asked my mom about it while we were at a family reunion with my oldest but she told them the benefits of extended nursing. The said that makes sense and that was that. Nothing was said to me. But I seem to ooze some sort of "I don't want to hear about it" kind of thing.

I know a lot of people who nurse past 1-2 years. It is pretty common around here. I'm just matter of fact about it. I nurse my children past 12 months. It isn't a topic for debate. I don't really care what people think and no one really says anything about it. If someone asks why, I usually just tell them that nursing older 1-2 year olds is a lot of fun because they have funny little personalities about it or that it works great if I need them to fall asleep away from home or if they get hurt or need comfort.

You need to remember that you are not asking their permission and they do not have to approve.You do not have to justify why you are still nursing. If someone gives you flack, shrug your shoulders and change the subject.

[deborah_r]

First off, I just can't understand why everyone thinks a 13-month old is so different from a 12-month old. That concept has always been weird to me. I don't think I could hide my irritation at someone being horrified at nursing a 13 month old.

I am still nursing DS2 (almost 2.5 years old) and I nursed DS1 til just after his 3rd birthday. I just don't/wouldn't engage in discussion about it. It's our family's decision and I don't need to justify it to anyone. After 18 months or so, I did start being more discreet about it, but at 13 months I don't think you need to go off to another room and hide! (not that I think anyone needs to hide it ever, however I know many of us are not comfortable NIP with an older child)

[athompson]

I don't have any great answers for you. I nursed my first two until 18 months and I'm currently nursing my 11 month old. I'm just so disappointed in so many people in the United States. This is the only place I know of that it would even be an issue. What you do in your family is your business. I agree with brittone in theory; unfortunately I just feel like telling my MIL (who has no comprehension of why nursing might be valuable to any child) to bite me:irked:

[brittone2]

What you do in your family is your business. I agree with brittone in theory; unfortunately I just feel like telling my MIL (who has no comprehension of why nursing might be valuable to any child) to bite me:irked:

:ROTFLMAO:

I have a long history with my ILs, and we've basically had it out with them on more than one occasion. We moved out of state right around the time of one of our huge blowups, so the past few years have been better for our relationship. We may be moving back to the state where they live in a few months, and at that point, it will be very interesting to see where things go ;) My BIL/SIL are having their first in a few months and live *very* close to my ILs. I fear they are going to have a very tough time with my ILs.

ETA: I didn't want you to think I'm all that angelic or patient with my ILs LOL. Since we don't have to deal w/ them directly that often (we visit one another about 2x a year max), I can handle the kill them with kindness approach currently. If we move back and have regular contact, I doubt I'll be able to keep it up ;) DH really has gotten great at heading off their comments with his overwhelming enthusiasm and kindness (with respect to homeschooling, etc) and sometimes it seems like it takes the wind out of their sails. On a weekly basis, I am not sure I'd be able to keep up the kindness routine ;) From 9 hours away it is a little easier to do!

[mousemom]

DS just turned 1 and I'm still nursing several times a day and I have not received any flack about yet. But I wanted to give my perspective, based on my pre-baby experience. I went to visit my brother and SIL when their youngest daughter was about 18 months. I was very surprised that they were still nursing just because it had never occurred to me that people nursed that long. I did think it was a little weird because I didn't know anything about the reasons for doing it. I was too polite to ask about it, since it was really none of my business. Had the information been offered in a casual way, however, I would have been interested to know that nursing till 2 is now recommended and about all the wonderful reasons one might choose to continue nursing. So, if you are concerned, you might mention either before the trip or right at the beginning, "oh, just so you know, we are still nursing before bed and in the morning. The doctor recommends it and it helps build up her immune system..." or whatever reasons you want to give. Not saying you have to justify it, but some people may just not know much about extended breastfeeding.

[kedss]

DD just turned 17 months, and she nurses before bed and when she wants to. I haven't received any flack, and I nurse wherever I happen to be. Though I'm looking forward to not nursing, as I'm worn out, I don't/wouldn't take any flack from anyone. When I get a night out on my own, I'll let you know what I do, LOL ;)

[frgsnlzrds]

I love it here! I have gotten the "It's time to stop" speech from everyone. My family, MIL (who I really do love and is normally the most supportive woman ever!), the pediatrician, my ob, even my friggin' dentist, like he deserves a say. DD is 28 months and just will not sleep unless she's nursing. I have tried everything. She rarely even falls asleep in the car. Other people talk about how stubborn their kids are, but I say I've got them beat! lol

And to agree with all the other posters, I have 3 kids. What's a night out?

[deborah_r]

even my friggin' dentist, like he deserves a say.

Oh, I had to completely lie to the dentist. Apparently 6 months ago I nodded my head and agreed that I would start a ritual of nursing DS2, brushing teeth, then going to bed 30 minutes or so later. Or I think he even said I could brush his teeth, then nurse, then he falls asleep 30 minutes later - something about time for the mouth to dry out before sleeping? Yeah, I totally forgot that as soon as I walked out the door 6 months ago, so when he asked how it was going this time, I had to lie and say it was working fine. The boy won't go to sleep if I am in a half-mile radius without his "ni-ni". I know he can do it if I'm not there, but I'm not going to leave every night at bedtime.

But at least the dentist didn't suggest we wean.

[amm40]

I too think your best option is to tell her in advance that you're still nursing, and why. But make it clear in your tone that it's not up for debate. When I've been asked recently if DS (15mo) is weaned, I've said "mostly" very enthusiastically, and nobody ever asks for more info.

[wencit]

I nursed DS1 until he was nearly 3 1/2, when DS2 was born. I only weaned because I wanted DS2 to have all the milk he needed (it was a bad decision on my part, but that's a long and different story). I never hid it from anyone. I mean, I didn't whip out my boob on the bus or anything like that, but if someone asked, I'd tell them the truth. I think I even volunteered the information on several occasions. It's not something to be ashamed of, so I never made any excuses. I got tons of flack from my parents, especially my dad, but I really didn't care and always took a no-nonsense tone with them. My child, my decisions. However, I do have thick skin and don't particularly care what other people think of me, especially when it comes to the health of my child.

As for going out in the evenings, when DS1 was still young, I'd make sure to pump beforehand. I remember a couple of times pumping in the car, too. When he was older, it didn't matter if I skipped a feeding session, but if I did get uncomfortable, I could always pump a little to relieve the pressure.

[frgsnlzrds]

Oh, I had to completely lie to the dentist. Apparently 6 months ago I nodded my head and agreed that I would start a ritual of nursing DS2, brushing teeth, then going to bed 30 minutes or so later. Or I think he even said I could brush his teeth, then nurse, then he falls asleep 30 minutes later - something about time for the mouth to dry out before sleeping? Yeah, I totally forgot that as soon as I walked out the door 6 months ago, so when he asked how it was going this time, I had to lie and say it was working fine. The boy won't go to sleep if I am in a half-mile radius without his "ni-ni". I know he can do it if I'm not there, but I'm not going to leave every night at bedtime.

But at least the dentist didn't suggest we wean.

This is at least a valid reason for a dentist to get involved. But in my case, it was my dentist and my daughter wasn't even in the building, nor did her oral care come up. He just didn't think it appropriate once he heard she was 2.

[deborah_r]

But in my case, it was my dentist and my daughter wasn't even in the building, nor did her oral care come up. He just didn't think it appropriate once he heard she was 2.

Oh my. You win!

[EllasMum]

I nursed DD until she was just over 2 and a half years old. After about 18 months, she mostly just nursed before bed, once during the night, and occasionally in the morning. Here and there she would want to nurse during the day, but not much after 18 months-ish. Almost everyone I knew, knew I was still nursing, and I never had one bad word said about it. If anything, I had "good for you!" type comments. I guess I have very supportive friends and family. :)

[daisymommy]

I am VERY blessed that I didn't get any flack from anybody when I nursed Hannah till she was nearly 2. All along I occasionally would put in my little 2-cents worth of public service announcements" about why it is recommend that moms nurse until 2 years (or longer if so desired). That way, it just became the normal way of thinking for DH and my mother, and they didn't question me when the time came to extended breastfeed.

But here are is some great ammunition to arm yourself with ;)
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

[firsttimemama]

Another extended nurser here (wow, there are lots of us here!)

DS is almost 2. I'm hoping that I nurse him until he loses interest, but I'm selfishly hoping his interest lessens between age 2 & 3. Of course, I never thought I'd nurse a 2 yr old, so maybe I won't mind nursing a 3 yr old, either.

I've gotten some flack, but it used to bother me a lot more when he was younger (say, 13 mo) than it does now. As for people I know won't be supportive (DH's entire family) I don't bring it up with them. If we're around them and DS needs to nurse I "go to change his diaper". Or something.

That's a personal choice on my part to avoid the conflict - NOT because I think they have any ground to stand on.

[bubbaray]

I nursed DD#1 to 12m and DD#2 to 17m. I weaned DD#2 so I could take a particularly strong antibiotic that is contraindicated in BFg (avelox). My dr wasn't against me BFg, but she WAS against me going yet another 6m of having a serious sinus infection that was not responding to BFg-friendly drugs.

I don't recall anyone telling me to stop -- I guess I just give off that "vibe" of "I'll tell you what your opinion is", KWIM? BUT, I did have a coworker give me $h!t for weaning DD#1 at 12m. Um, dude, my boobs aren't the subject of workplace conversations....

[deannanb]

17 month old and still nursing -
(15 months with DS2)

I would let your mom know your evening routine ahead of time - at least - we go to bed at such and such a time - we nurse for a little while before going to bed -
if she has concerns, let her know that you want to at least nurse through cold and flu season - better immunity

[DrSally]

I nursed DS until a few weeks after he turned 3, and DD is still nursing 4-5 times a day at 16 months. I agree that society can have very mixed messages about bfing, and here it is not really the norm to do extended Bfing (or at least people don't talk about it). That's why LLL is so great, to be around others who are nursing babies/toddlers of all ages.

I personally didn't want to hide the fact that we still had a nursing relationship, but I didn't do it in front of others past 18 mo or so. When it came up, people would act so surprised that we were still nursing (even though they already knew, it was like a shock everytime it came up). I would mentione the WHO recommendations, the health benefits, the worldwide weaning average, etc. I found it more difficult to talk about the emotional benefits, b/c everyone isn't coming from the same place in that regard. I found it highly annoying when people would say that extended nursing inhibits independence or is done for the mom's needs. But, getting into a discussion about secure attachment promoting independence, the emotional dangers of premature (for each indiv. child) weaning, the mutuality of the relationship, etc. is more complicated than talking about objective health benefits. Even so, there are people who believe it's only beneficial for the first 3-6 months healthwise.

Anyway, I found with my 2nd, that it's totally of no concern to me what others think.

ETA: Oh, and I never go out at night. But, when I had to leave for 2 days for my dad's funeral out of state when DS was around 2 yo, he was totally fine with DH. I think they're a lot more flexible the older they get with regard to nursing.

[goldenpig]

Don't feel like you have to hide it. Thirteen months is still so young. Who cares what other people say, you're the mom. I never thought I'd be a EBF'er but here I am still nursing 27 month old DD. We're down to about 3-4 times a day: morning, before nap (or after I get home from work) and at bedtime. I don't offer it unless she asks but she LOVES it and always asks. She gets this HUGE smile on her face when I say yes, so I don't see any reason to stop. Even though my milk production seems to have stopped from the pregnancy...I think it's more of a comfort thing for her right now. I was advised by my OB, her pediatrician, the sleep consultant etc. to wean her now that I'm pregnant but I didn't...looks like I'm headed towards tandem nursing both. Every time that I have thought I'm going to wean her (at 1 year, 2 years, when I get pregnant, etc.), I just keep going. Sometimes we joke that when she goes to college I'll have to go with her so she can get her "mommy milk" :ROTFLMAO: My sister also is tandem nursing her two daughters (8 months and turning 3) so I don't really get any comments from my family. MIL occasionally makes a few comments but nothing too negative. I only know one other mom in our playgroup who's still nursing though. I don't usually NIP much anymore (except sometimes in the car or on the plane), but I also don't hide the fact I'm still nursing her to others if they ask.

I used to pump till about a year, so if we went out at night for a date, the nanny would feed her a bottle of EBM. We started giving her cow's milk at 1 but she has never been a big milk drinker. Since then, if I'm away at bedtime she just goes to bed with a sippy of water. I've never spent a whole night away from her though.

One big hump was when we finally night weaned her a few months ago (she used to wake up 2-3 times a night to nurse every night) and another was when I was able to cut down on nursing frequency to the current 3x/d. The key is to teach her that 1) you don't get to nurse whenever you want, there are certain times when it's time for nursing and 2) the milk sleeps at night. Not as easy as it sounds! But I think it's good for her development to learn to wait/self-regulate. When I was trying to get her on a better nursing schedule the sleep consultant said to pick once a day when you tell her no and let her have a tantrum and learn to deal with it, then later (even 1/2 hr later, but some other time of YOUR choosing) tell her "It's milk time now!" It was hard, but that really helped. I still think I will let her decide when she wants to wean completely.

Good luck on your trip...you should feel good about still being able to nurse your daughter--don't let anyone else make you feel differently! :bighand:

[smilequeen]

My mom was the only one really. "how long are you going to do this?" "Just don't keep this up until he's 3!" "don't you think he's ready to stop?"

She was so supportive until about 18 months and then she just couldn't get it. Hopefully, if we are lucky enough to have a 3rd she'll be used to it by then...

Oliver nursed until just a little past 2 years.