Any Other Nurses (RN) Out There?

[carolinamama]

I am curious about your work schedule, what you do, and how you like it. I am an RN, working in a busy ICU at a large teaching hospital. Right now, I am doing one 12-hour shift a week on the weekends while DH keeps the kids but I am feeling like I need to make a change. DH works really long hours during the week and I am not necessarily good at the SAHM thing. I feel like I am doing it for the kids, not for me. Fitting in work on the weekends is really cutting into my family time since DH is gone so much during the week.

I am probably thinking out loud here but my options are to keep doing what I am or put the kids into some sort of childcare and work during the week more. In some ways, I really think that working during the week will actually lessen my stress since I will be home on the weekends and if I am working more, I will be able to afford to have someone clean my house and maybe have some more childcare so I am not always running errands with kids. I wish this decision didn't seem so hard. It's all about the balance of work, kids, marriage, and self. Not to mention I am somewhat burned out by the ICU (all the sadness really) but don't know what else I would like and would be mentally stimulating. Argh.

Any advice or experiences would be appreciated - and you don't have to be a nurse to answer!

[SnuggleBuggles]

No advice but I wanted to say thank you for all you do. I can't imagine the emotional toll a job like that would take on a person.

Beth

[carolinamama]

No advice but I wanted to say thank you for all you do. I can't imagine the emotional toll a job like that would take on a person.

Beth

I really appreciate that.

[VClute]

I'm an RN, and a stay-at-home mom. I work 4 shifts a month in the float pool at my local hospital. I can only work 12-hour shifts, and that means being gone at least 14 hours when I work.

I would love to work more, but DH is gone from 5:30 until 7pm daily, so would be unable to help with preschool drop-off and pickup. So, I can only do weekends, and I usually work one day every weekend.

Now, I'm only a med-surg nurse. If I were an ED nurse, I would be able to pick up 4- and 8-hour shifts, too. Are you able to do 8-hour shifts at your hospital?

One thing I have done (just for my sanity, not for money) is I've started volunteering at my community's free clinic for the working poor. It's not as challenging as my hospital work, but I enjoy the patients and the physicians and pharmacists that I work with. And it gets me out of the house! :)

[elephantmeg]

I am and work about 28 hours a week. Currently I work 2 8 hour shifts as a floor nurse-either peds or med surg (usually 3p-11p) and a 12 hour shift (7p-7a or 3p-3a) as nursing house coordinator. I also teach new employee orientation every few months-which is a 8-5 day The kids go to a home babysitter 2-3 days a week-a full day after I work night shift and just the afternoons (2-6) when I work 3-11. It's working pretty well for us right now. And I can take the kids for a full day when I only need to work 2-6 and run some errands etc.

[Snugglibumkins]

I'm mostly a luker around here.

I am an RN. I work Mon-Fri 8am-5pm as a Manager/Performance Improvement/Unit Educator/Accreditation Specialist - my job has many hats. I'm salaried, which means that my boss and I have a great understanding that if the kids have dental appointments, or something that I don't want to miss during the day, I flex my time to be available for them. That also means that on the occaision, I'll work on a presentation in the evening after the kids go to bed (while also watching DWTS).

My husband is a SAHD.

[liz]

I am an RN. I used to work in an ICU and the politics as well as the hours (I worked 3-11p) on top of the emotional aspect became very draining for me as well. I clearly remember the moment I knew I had to change. It was having to leave for work when my whole family (mom & dad etc.)was sitting down to eat Thanksgiving dinner. A few months later my dad suddenly passed away and I just knew I couldn't keep the same job with the same schedule. I was newly engaged, and didn't have kids, but knew I wanted to have a "normal" schedule like everyone else (no more "every other weekend & holiday" schedule). I wound up finding a job in endoscopy of all places, mostly due to the schedule. I work part-time at my hospital, 20 hours a week, 8-4:30p with the occasional call (24 hours/month) and one holiday every couple of years. I can't say I am really challenged by the work, but I love the fact that you see healthy patients, along with the really sick, so you are using different aspects of nursing.

I understand and sympathize with your need to spend more time with your family. I hope you can find some solution that will work for you.

[tnrnchick74]

I'm currently a level 3 NICU RN. I love my job, just having WAY too much drama with unit conflicts.

I'm a single Mom too. There is NO daycare available for the hours I need (6 am - 8 pm; 3-4 days per week including weekend availability).

So...in an effort to spend more day to day time with my son, I'm taking a new position in an outpatient clinic that does critical care procedures (conscious sedation). 5-8 hr days leaves me 2-3 ours per day with my son instead of 30 minutes a day.

I'm trying to find that balance of work and home.

[lchang25000]

I am an RN also and I used to work in the Cardiac ICU at a large teaching hospital in LA before moving to where I am now. I worked the night shift from 7pm-7am 3-4 nights a week for almost 5 years. Work was stressful, but tolerable. I was 15 weeks preggo with DS when we moved and have not worked since our move. I'm now a SAHM, and to be honest, I really cannot imagine life both working as an ICU nurse and also having a child. I don't have any advice, but I really admire those who can juggle both.

[shawnandangel]

Not a RN yet but working on it! (Should be studying for urinary system exam tomorrow, but I needed a break!) I'm a CNA. When I worked, (SAHM) I worked 3 12 hour shifts. When I go back to work with my RN when DD is 5 I will do the same. 3 twelve hour days. This gives me four whole days with her per week. I usually worked tuesday, wednesday, thursday which was awesome by the way. It meant long weekend trips were easy to take and time at home with DH. I had 3 weeks of Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and then I had to work a weekend. I loved it!

*edited to add I worked in Oncology*

[hellokitty]

I am an RN. I used to work in an ICU and the politics as well as the hours (I worked 3-11p) on top of the emotional aspect became very draining for me as well.

This was me, except that I have not worked as a RN again, since becoming a mom. The final straw when I finally quit my job on CVICU (sooooo sick of dealing with the a$$hole heart surgeon and idiot nurse mgr) while I was on clomid. You know how they tell you that it makes me moody? Well, it made me fed up enough with my job that I quit and really it had been building up, b/c I had an entire series of different critical care jobs before that were making me feel burned out. That is TOTALLY not what I would normally do, but I guess I finally acted on my gut feeling. Anyway, I had hyperemesis with that pregnancy (actually, I have it with every one of my pregnancies) and had several miscarriages before that pregnancy, so I did not want to work as a floor nurse anyway, b/c of all of the heavy lifting and just constantly being stressed out. I found a job working part time at a factory as an occupational health nurse. OMG, it was such a change, can you say BORING? To go from an ICU environment to a pretty much becoming a paper shuffler and just doing mostly screenings? After I had my son I did not return to that job (by then they had downgraded me to prn, which was ok, they preferred to hire LPNs, b/c they were cheaper).

I'm not sure if I will ever return. If I do, it won't be back at the hospital again, I'd probably opt for something more low stress, like a doctor's office or some other kind of outpatient situation. My DH's hrs are very erratic and we have no childcare. So, if I return back to work, it will have to be when the kids are old enough to watch themselves and b/c there is a 5 yr spread btwn my childrens' ages, it will be a while yet before that happens. I've thought about going back for my MSN, but I don't think I would be any happier. I really wish I would not have chosen nursing and would have gone into something like OT or PT instead.

[icunurse]

I work in an ICU, one of the busiest trauma units in the country. Since DH was laid off, I have been working 3 12-hour shifts/week (also worked in other ICU's over the summer). Honestly, I'm exhausted. And I feel like I miss a lot of little stuff (like practices, school pick-ups, and the like), but I have been fortunate not to miss anything big (I'm registry, so while I have a lot of openness in my hours, I'm also not guaranteed for any of them - we're so busy, though, that I can get lots of hours right now). My job is physically and emotionally exhausting, but I really do love it. It is challenging and never the same and sometimes pretty funny (oh, the stories!). I don't know how people can work these shifts and not feel like they are missing things with their families/children. I feel better that at least DH is there with them, but I'm looking forward to when he finds a different job, so I can go back to working 4-5 days/month and being more involved in life and maybe a little more rested.

[hellokitty]

I work in an ICU, one of the busiest trauma units in the country. Since DH was laid off, I have been working 3 12-hour shifts/week (also worked in other ICU's over the summer). Honestly, I'm exhausted. And I feel like I miss a lot of little stuff (like practices, school pick-ups, and the like), but I have been fortunate not to miss anything big (I'm registry, so while I have a lot of openness in my hours, I'm also not guaranteed for any of them - we're so busy, though, that I can get lots of hours right now). My job is physically and emotionally exhausting, but I really do love it. It is challenging and never the same and sometimes pretty funny (oh, the stories!). I don't know how people can work these shifts and not feel like they are missing things with their families/children. I feel better that at least DH is there with them, but I'm looking forward to when he finds a different job, so I can go back to working 4-5 days/month and being more involved in life and maybe a little more rested.

I hope your DH finds a job soon, you're right it is very exhausting. I do always have that fear in the back of my mind that if my DH loses his job, I'll have to go back to work FT and I dread that. I know a lot of ppl like 12 hr shifts, but I found them totally draining. You literally get up, go to work for 13 hrs (and usually longer, b/c sometimes it's impossible to get out of work when you are supposed to), not including drive time and then come home, shower, eat and sleep and repeat the next day. I remember one time, some genius scheduled me for six 12's in a row. NEVER again, it sucked so bad. Coincidentally, the only "good" thing that came out of it, was that my father needed to have a CABG, so I was able to drive two states away to be with him for his surgery and was back again before my next scheduled day at work. So, maybe it was meant to be, but I'd never willingly do six 12's a row again! My favorite arrangement was actually 10 hr shifts. I worked in the ER from 3pm-1am and it was a nice balance btwn 8 hrs and 12 hr shifts. Too bad most places don't give you any kind of choice.

[icunurse]

I hope your DH finds a job soon, you're right it is very exhausting. I do always have that fear in the back of my mind that if my DH loses his job, I'll have to go back to work FT and I dread that. I know a lot of ppl like 12 hr shifts, but I found them totally draining. You literally get up, go to work for 13 hrs (and usually longer, b/c sometimes it's impossible to get out of work when you are supposed to), not including drive time and then come home, shower, eat and sleep and repeat the next day. I remember one time, some genius scheduled me for six 12's in a row. NEVER again, it sucked so bad. Coincidentally, the only "good" thing that came out of it, was that my father needed to have a CABG, so I was able to drive two states away to be with him for his surgery and was back again before my next scheduled day at work. So, maybe it was meant to be, but I'd never willingly do six 12's a row again! My favorite arrangement was actually 10 hr shifts. I worked in the ER from 3pm-1am and it was a nice balance btwn 8 hrs and 12 hr shifts. Too bad most places don't give you any kind of choice.

Yeah, my body handled several shifts in a row much better when I was younger and didn't have children :) I don't live close to the hospital, so I am up at 5am and don't get home until 8:30pm-9pm. Long day, exhausted, miss seeing the kids. I'm enjoying working more simply because I feel like I'm "back in the game" (when you only work a few days/month, things change pretty fast, especially in an ICU, and you feel like you're always trying to catch up), but I really don't see how people can work like this and feel like they have a whole life.

[carolinamama]

Yeah, my body handled several shifts in a row much better when I was younger and didn't have children :) I don't live close to the hospital, so I am up at 5am and don't get home until 8:30pm-9pm. Long day, exhausted, miss seeing the kids. I'm enjoying working more simply because I feel like I'm "back in the game" (when you only work a few days/month, things change pretty fast, especially in an ICU, and you feel like you're always trying to catch up), but I really don't see how people can work like this and feel like they have a whole life.

It seems like you guys really know what I am talking about. To the outside world, 3 12-hour shifts a week sounds great - hey, you have 4 days off to be with the kids. But those 3 days wear you out. I am doing 4-5 shifts a month right now and I do feel alittle "left out" as far as the unit, although I still find myself caring for the sickest on the unit all the time. I spent all day Monday replaying my day at work Sunday because my young patient crashed all day long. The longer I work there, the harder the emotional part strikes me but I'm not there regularly to talk about it with other coworkers experiencing the same things. The neighborhood moms probably don't want to hear the details of my workday :tongue5:

I hope your DH finds something soon. We thought we were going to be in that position right after DS2 was born and we had planned that I would work full-time if DH got laid-off. Nice to have that option to fall back on but it would be hard, as you have discovered. Where I work, we do self-scheduling and I pretty much work whatever fits with our family. I have 2 weeks off around the holidays. It is flexible and I like the people there. That is what has kept me there for so long since it isn't terribly close to our house. I also get up at 5 am and get home around 8:15-8:30 if I don't end up staying late.

Thanks to everyone for their posts. It's good to hear of others dealing with some of the same issues and how you are handling them.