Need Advice: DS' whining & pouting issues

[happymomma]

I really need some advice from other Moms and Dads. DS is 6 years old and DD is 3 1/2 years old. His attitude recently has just gotten worse. Maybe it's always been like this but it's really getting to me. He is always complaining that something isn't fair if his sister gets something or does something that he didn't get to do. For example, when we picked her up from preschool the other day, she told us "Mommy I got to watch TV in school today". I was shocked b/c that was the first time that has ever happened. The first thing that comes out of his mouth is "that is not fair". I never got to watch tv at school. Even little stuff. If she had a playdate when he was gone, he gets so jealous. It's the jealousy that gets to me. It's like unless he gets exactly what she gets, then life isn't fair and he pouts about it. But the thing is, he gets so much more in some ways. We make sure that if she got something (ie when she gets a shot, she gets a small item at the toy store downstairs).

Anyway, tonight DH wanted to play a snake game with DD and DS. It's a game where they pretend to be snakes at a pet store. Anyways, he got so jealous. I guess DH used to play it with him when he was younger. But it's not like it's a game that only he gets to play. So we try to calmly explain to him that it's more fun with more people and that DD can have a different role. He was so pouty and just whiny. Then he was so mad and became mean. You know, calling his sister names and just pouty.

Then when they were going upstairs, DH said that he can give them piggy back upstairs to get ready for bed. He didn't listen and DH got up to the 3rd step. Boy was he jealous. He was complaining that it wasn't fair that she got more piggy back. blah.blah.blah. I am just so tired of it.

So I wanted to see what others have done. We try to placate him but I just think that it's not working. Then I end up losing it with him and end up yelling at him. I just wish he wouldn't be so whiny.

[Twoboos]

No real answers but DD1 just turned 6 and it's been kinda tough - loads of whining and spontaneously bursting into tears about simple stuff.

Many people (on this board and elsewhere) recommended the "My ___ Year Old" series. I picked up the 6yo one, and in just reading the opening section, it really pegged her in a lot of ways. I have to get through more. But it might be worth checking out!

[bnme]

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Many people (on this board and elsewhere) recommended the "My ___ Year Old" series. I picked up the 6yo one, and in just reading the opening section, it really pegged her in a lot of ways. I have to get through more. But it might be worth checking out!

Yes, to this! I often need to check these book out of the library and they are so helpful. They also talk about how the half-years are often the 'worst' (I think that is from this series).

Anyhow, you are describing my DS to a T! It is very annoying but I think mostly normal. I try not to discount his feelings but also not to give in. And I try really hard not to just say "Life isn't always fair" or "get over it". I'll say something about how now it is his brothers turn and sometimes it is his turn and he wouldn't like if someone else spoiled it by crying and complaining. And to maybe try asking for a turn instead of having a tantrum, etc.

It has been a rough few months with him so I totally sympathize.
:hug5:

[happymomma]

Thanks so much for your advice. Off to the library tomorrow. I think I need to find a way to talk to him to get it through him. I am glad to know that this is something that is totally normal. Thanks so much.

[bnme]

Oh, and I just checked out How to Talk so your Kids will Listen but I haven't read much yet. But I am hoping it has some freash ideas for me.