What Is Your Definition Of A Picky Eater?

[randomkid]

Just curious. DD is often referred to as a picky eater. I'm not so sure that she is picky, but has a limited variety of foods she will eat. She will occasionally have a hot dog or cheese pizza (which she just started eating a few months ago), but has to be in the mood for it. She doesn't like chicken nuggets or burgers - you know, the typical "kid food". She does like apples, bananas, blueberries, watermelon (but I have to get all the seeds out), and sometimes strawberries. She also eats pasta when in the right mood, broccoli, green beans, lima beans, frozen green peas (yes, frozen), grilled chicken, sweet potato fries. She does like them a certain way - usually the way I cook them - so eating out is limited, but that's fine because we don't eat out much. My Mom made broccoli for her and didn't drain it (I steam it in microwave, then drain on paper towels). She wouldn't eat it because she said it was too wet. She will eat Bucca di Beppo spaghetti, but not Olive Garden's. She likes the chinese food at our local grocery store. For sandwiches, she eats whole wheat or honey wheat bread, but only likes one particular kind of Boar's Head turkey. She'll eat freeze dried peas, freeze dried apples and Veggie Booty. Right now, she is eating Multigrain chips from Costco for her snack. She is not big on trying new things, but will on occasion.

So, would you consider her picky? I don't know why it bothers me when people say that about her, but it does. I guess because I've always considered a picky eater to be a child who only eats the foods you find on the typical kid's menu. So, when someone says DD is picky, to me that insinuates unhealthy.

What do you think of when someone says a child is picky?

[brittone2]

Just curious. DD is often referred to as a picky eater. I'm not so sure that she is picky, but has a limited variety of foods she will eat. She will occasionally have a hot dog or cheese pizza (which she just started eating a few months ago), but has to be in the mood for it. She doesn't like chicken nuggets or burgers - you know, the typical "kid food". She does like apples, bananas, blueberries, watermelon (but I have to get all the seeds out), and sometimes strawberries. She also eats pasta when in the right mood, broccoli, green beans, lima beans, frozen green peas (yes, frozen), grilled chicken, sweet potato fries. She does like them a certain way - usually the way I cook them - so eating out is limited, but that's fine because we don't eat out much. My Mom made broccoli for her and didn't drain it (I steam it in microwave, then drain on paper towels). She wouldn't eat it because she said it was too wet. She will eat Bucca di Beppo spaghetti, but not Olive Garden's. She likes the chinese food at our local grocery store. For sandwiches, she eats whole wheat or honey wheat bread, but only likes one particular kind of Boar's Head turkey. She'll eat freeze dried peas, freeze dried apples and Veggie Booty. Right now, she is eating Multigrain chips from Costco for her snack. She is not big on trying new things, but will on occasion.

So, would you consider her picky? I don't know why it bothers me when people say that about her, but it does. I guess because I've always considered a picky eater to be a child who only eats the foods you find on the typical kid's menu. So, when someone says DD is picky, to me that insinuates unhealthy.

What do you think of when someone says a child is picky?

It sounds like she eats a variety of foods. I would try not to let other people's comments bother me although I'm sure it is tough not to take offense. I'd be more concerned personally about my kid being "picky" if "picky" equated to only eating junk.

I have a friend who as an adult is one of those people who absolutely cannot find a single thing on any menu at any restaurant that she likes. Ever. In our 20s we'd all go out to dinner and she'd end up in near tears because nothing on the menu was acceptable. Now *that* was bad, IMO.

My kids' tastebuds and pickiness/preferences sort of ebb and flow. They aren't picky per se but definitely have times when they are more accepting of a wider range of foods and times when they are less accepting.

eta: I think other people (non parents) labeling a child "picky" in general can be offensive since some kids are "picky" because of oral motor issues or sensory issues, etc. kwim? I've worked with enough of those kids through the years, and it certainly isn't easy on the family or entirely in the child's control.

[wellyes]

Sorry but if only a small set of specific foods are OK, and they must be prepared to meet her preference = picky. To me, being picky isn't necessarily unhealthy but it is manifestation of wanting control.

Having said that, I think MOST kids are picky or at least go through picky phases. I am jealous of the mother I know whose son will cheerfully gobble down whatever she offers. (And to clarify, that's because my DD has an extremely limited diet and food has become a battle for us. I'd be THRILLED if she had your dd's diet.)

[KrisM]

I'd probably call that picky because she likes spaghetti, but only 1 kind. And, turkey, but a specific kind.

I don't think pickiness is the type (healthy or junk) of food, or the variety of food. It's the "too wet broccoli", etc, that makes a person picky, to me.

[marit]

I think she's not adventurous but I wouldn't hurry to put a label on her. If you find yourself struggling to please her and give her nutrition, that's picky. If she's a little suspicious of new foods, but will generally eat a variety, I would say she's OK. Some adults are like that too, you know...

[hillview]

I'd call it picky and not let it be a label that bugs me. Sort of like kids who care about what they wear (vs some other kids who will wear whateve their parent puts on). Or kids who only want to play with trains, trucks and cars (not that I know ANY kids like that ;))
/hillary

[cvanbrunt]

I'd probably call that picky. To me that means a person is very particular, not unhealthy. I'm picky in some realms of my life and not others.

[m448]

Kids go through jags and I don't find it helpful at all to label it picky even if that's what I thought. However if it were more severe (which is not what I see in your daughter's case) then it could likely be something like sensory issues.

I don't see pickiness as a control issue, I find that's assigning a very negative intent. Kids have preferences, there are ways to handle letting them have appropriate preferences and not have to be a short order cook. But I speak out of experience from one very picky kid who is now a total foodie. I had my mother convinced for years that I was allergic to corn because there was something I couldn't stand about it and apparently couldn't verbalize it. I also avoided casing meats like the plague. Sometimes a child is sensitive (more so than adults) to a specific flavor or texture and they can't specifically say that so they'll say something more simple like too wet or just turn up their nose.

It's not a big deal. Even my little brother who managed to grow up on fried eggs, white rice and pizza is somehow, surprise, suprise eating grownup food now that he's graduated college LOL.

[egoldber]

Many people say "picky eater" as code for "only eats McDonalds and pizza". That really annoys me.

Sarah is a picky eater. She is extremely particular about tastes, textures, flavors, brands, etc. What she does eat is really pretty healthy, so I have chosen not to let it bother me. There is literally exactly ONE fast food restaurant that she will eat at. As she has gotten older and better able to verbalize her issues, I have realized that there are several aspects to her pickiness. One is that I think she is a "super taster", where she literally does taste things in a more intense way than most people. Also she has a tendency to be anxious and this extends to trying new foods.

There are many adults who are also very particular about what foods they will eat or how it is prepared. We don't usually judge them for this, yet we (society) seem to think that children who are learning and developing their tastes be held to a higher standard and that we as parents have failed in some way if our kid does not eat everything under the sun.

Um, can you tell this bothers me? :ROTFLMAO:

[maestramommy]

She sounds like my kids. They eat a variety of foods, but not all the expected ones, and sometimes they have to be in the mood for it. They're probably not as particular as your DD in some ways, but more in others. I don't consider my kids particularly picky. They may have picky phases but overall they are good eaters. Just ask my mother and MIL, the reigning experts on pickiness:p

If you're satisfied with the way your dd eats, that's good enough, imo.

[DietCokeLover]

I would be thrilled if my dcs ate like your child! Mine seriously only will eat a handful of foods.

I do think your dc would be considered "picky", but I'd be more inclined to say "particular". It seems that your dc likes things a certain way, but does like a variety of foods.

[g-mama]

If that's picky, I'd like to have a picky eater here any day! I wonder what people would call my younger two. They would exist on oxygen alone if I let them. They are more like NON-eaters.

[Melaine]

I can see why your DC might be called picky on the occasion but I think looking at the big picture is a very healthy eater so I wouldn't worry about it! ITA that most kids are picky at some point or another so I don't think of it as an insult.

[pinkmomagain]

I would call that picky. I do not equate picky with unhealthy.

But really, who cares what other people think? It sounds like it doesn't bother you to meet your dd's particulars...but other people might be annoyed/insulted when they've prepared something and it's not to your dd's liking. Though, you may want to think of it as coming from a place of wanting to please your dd and disappointed at not being able to do that.

[sarahsthreads]

She seems to be similar to my DD1. I'd not label my child as "picky" per se, but more "particular". While brand of turkey or specific type of pasta is not an issue, things do need to be the way she's come to expect them to be prepared. She will eat, alone, every single thing in a casserole, but will not try the casserole. Also, if anything is warmer than room temperature, it is too hot. Conversely, if you try to feed her something straight from the fridge, it is too cold.

But she doesn't eat typical kid foods - she'll eat chicken nuggets, but no hot dogs, very little pizza (only olive pizza), no mac & cheese, no hamburgers - so I hesitate to call her picky. She eats a variety of fruits and veggies - actually, she hasn't met a fruit or veggie she won't eat cooked or raw except onions, including a slight obsession with frozen (yes, frozen) lima beans. She eats salads. She eats various forms of protein, from beans to shrimp, but balks at chicken. And to be perfectly honest, I could not eat chicken at all while I was pregnant with her, so I'm half convinced that's something she's hated since before she was born!

One way we've started trying to get her to be more adventurous in trying new foods (like casseroles or crockpot meals) is to encourage her to be a scientist. We ask her to try the food and report on it's taste, texture, temperature, color and aroma. This usually involves at least a couple of tiny bites, and sometimes by the end she realizes she likes it. :)

Sarah :)

[MontrealMum]

Your DD doesn't sound picky to me, more particular as Sarah said, but I can see where it might be interpreted that way by some. But I would not like the label either. She seems very similar to my son in that she eats a wide variety of things - many atypical of the average kid - but that she won't eat each and every one, each and every time it's offered to her. We also have issues if I get a different brand and DS spots the different packaging, or if I use the wrong dishes. I find it frustrating to deal with too (we had another night of olives and raisins for dinner tonight ;) ), but especially dislike the labelling - often by adults who are *much* more picky, IMHO, with their limited range of likes and dislikes. I guess I don't have a ton of advice, but just want to say you should try and get past the labelling and focus on the great healthy eater that you have there! And I sure hope this is something they grow out of :)

[randomkid]

Many people say "picky eater" as code for "only eats McDonalds and pizza". That really annoys me.

There are many adults who are also very particular about what foods they will eat or how it is prepared. We don't usually judge them for this, yet we (society) seem to think that children who are learning and developing their tastes be held to a higher standard and that we as parents have failed in some way if our kid does not eat everything under the sun.

Um, can you tell this bothers me? :ROTFLMAO:

:yeahthat: Coming back to this thread because I got busy and never read all the replies. Thank you all for your thoughts. Beth summed up very nicely exactly how I feel about it. DH has an adult friend who is so picky that I refuse to invite him and his family for dinner because I don't know what to cook. The last time they were here, the only thing he ate was the pasta I made with only butter and cheese on it.

The other reason it bothers me so much when people say DD is picky is that they often say it in front of her. I want to say "Don't label my kid. And, BTW, thanks a lot for reinforcing her pickiness!":angry-smiley-005: DD hears and listens to everything people say about her. I discovered this the hard way when she overheard me telling my Mom how the other girls in her class have outgrown her. Later, she starts telling me how she doesn't want to be the smallest kid in her class. I am still doing damage control on that one weeks later. I really think at this age, they are developing self awareness and labeling her picky may make her think "Well, I AM a picky eater, so why try anything new?" May seem like I am overanalyzing, but trust me, I know my DD.

Thanks again - I do think she is particular, but really hate the label of "picky". I know there is hope because my stepdaughters were super picky and will now eat a lot more variety than I ever thought they would and much sooner than I thought they would. Just tonight, DD told me that when she gets bigger, she will eat salad and all the foods she says she doesn't like now. She helped me make vegetable soup, stood there smelling it and saying how good it smelled, but wouldn't taste it. Like a PP said, she will eat things individually, but not mixed together (casseroles, soups, etc). In the meantime, I'll just keep putting it on her plate, encouraging her to help cook and try new things and one day, maybe she will eat a larger variety of foods!

[Tondi G]

you child is specific but not picky. She eats a nice variety of things. Better to eat grilled chicken and broccoli than typical "child" fare (chicken nuggets, pizza, burgers etc). People have gotten so used to "kids menus" and forgotten that some kids don't like they typical stuff they expect them to and would prefer something from a regular menu. My 4 year old will often order soup when we go out... sometimes all he wants is a side of mashed potatoes and broccoli and a few bites of my chicken. Works for me!

Picky is what I call my friends kids who came for thanksgiving. They didn't touch ONE thing from the table... she brought her own peanut butter and jelly (they like specific brands of that too) and her own bread and they ate PB&J for thanksgiving. My kids were eating it all. Turkey, Ham, Mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, stuffing etc. I would think she would have at least tried to encourage her children to "try" some of the dinner offered but just made up their sandwiches and called it a meal. Personally I think she brought it on herself by not continuing to offer different foods to her kids. He older son used to eat any pizza just fine... then somehow decided he didn't like sauce on the pizza so they often make him his own pizza (just cheese on dough) to take with them to parties etc. I guess since both my children are pretty good eaters it is just so foreign to me.

[randomkid]

Picky is what I call my friends kids who came for thanksgiving. They didn't touch ONE thing from the table... she brought her own peanut butter and jelly (they like specific brands of that too) and her own bread and they ate PB&J for thanksgiving. My kids were eating it all. Turkey, Ham, Mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, stuffing etc. I would think she would have at least tried to encourage her children to "try" some of the dinner offered but just made up their sandwiches and called it a meal. Personally I think she brought it on herself by not continuing to offer different foods to her kids. He older son used to eat any pizza just fine... then somehow decided he didn't like sauce on the pizza so they often make him his own pizza (just cheese on dough) to take with them to parties etc. I guess since both my children are pretty good eaters it is just so foreign to me.

Well, DD did eat ham, lima beans, a roll and something else, can't remember, but I have taken food for her to events before. However, I would not let her eat PB&J for dinner. Funny you should mention the pizza. Since DD never liked pizza, I always had to be sure she ate before a party or had to take something else for her. I never really minded doing that because she usually ate a turkey and cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread while the other kids were eating pizza. She just decided she likes cheese pizza in the last couple of months. We don't have pizza often, so I'm actually thankful for this since now I won't have to pack her lunch for every party she goes to - yippee! Who'd have thought I'd be happy about my child actually liking junk food?

[egoldber]

Picky is what I call my friends kids who came for thanksgiving. They didn't touch ONE thing from the table... she brought her own peanut butter and jelly (they like specific brands of that too) and her own bread and they ate PB&J for thanksgiving. My kids were eating it all. Turkey, Ham, Mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, stuffing etc. I would think she would have at least tried to encourage her children to "try" some of the dinner offered but just made up their sandwiches and called it a meal. Personally I think she brought it on herself by not continuing to offer different foods to her kids. He older son used to eat any pizza just fine... then somehow decided he didn't like sauce on the pizza so they often make him his own pizza (just cheese on dough) to take with them to parties etc. I guess since both my children are pretty good eaters it is just so foreign to me.

Well, Sarah ate almost nothing except bread at Thanksgiving meal. I joked to DH that Thanksgiving is the ultimate meal that she hates: lots of things mixed together and lots of strong flavors. I asked her to try the turkey, which she did, and she ate the bread that DH made (whole wheat /whole grain rolls). Oh, my SIL made a green bean dish and I "rescued" a few plain ones before SIL sauteed them with garlic and olive oil. And that was it. She was polite, but there was nothing else at the table that she liked.

Seriously it is NOT always about what the parents have or have not done.


Who'd have thought I'd be happy about my child actually liking junk food?

I hear you.

[HIU8]

Here is what I call picky: DS eats yogurt, cheese pizza, hot dogs (only one kind), occasional burger, mac and cheese and brocoli and matzah ball and wedding soup. DS, however has issues with textures and temperature (sensory issues). So, yes, I feel he is picky b/c he will not eat what I make for everyone else, but he will eat the items I have listed and, on occasion he will try something new (oh, and no fresh fruit anymore so we have to start with a vitamin now).