Sleeping Schedules

[jellibeans]

I don't know, maybe I am too strict on a schedule. My children have always gone to bed by 8 and taken a nap in the afternoonn. My SIL doesn't have her kids on a schedule. For example, the other day at 9:30pm, she wrote on Facebook that she was going to clean the kitchen and then cuddle with her son on the couch. Her son is 18 months. Also, he doesn't take regular naps...he falls asleep wherever, whenever and that is his nap. If he falls asleep in the middle of the kitchen floor, they leave him and he sleeps there. Is that strange or am I strange? Do you know of others that don't have a schedule? How does it work with them?

[JBaxter]

yup ;) everyone parents differently. Jack's naps range from 11 to 1 depending on if he does a cat nap in the morning or if he fell asleep during morning driving ( to school and such).

My 6 yr old goes to bed between 830 and 9 and is up by 7. He was much more on a nap schedule.

Some kids do better on a strict schedule some are more flexable

[SnuggleBuggles]

If the kids seem happy and not overtired then all is well. our schedule has about a 1-1.5 hour buffer- naptime is between 2 and 3:30 depending on how tired he is; bedtime is 8:30-9; wake up time is 8-9. Naptime is sacred for us though so I do put him down every day.

Beth

[deborah_r]

I've never been much for a schedule. I respect others that can do it, but my brain just doesn't work that way.

[brittone2]

We never were into strict schedules for naps, etc. For us it became more of a rhythm. For a long time we'd get into a pattern where DD would nap about 4 hours after she woke up (when she was doing a nap a day), but it wasn't necessarily at a set time. There was considerable flex built in, but it was still fairly predictable.

My kids have always been night-owlish and so they stay up pretty late and sleep in during the morning hours. It works for us. We don't do preschool/school (and homeschool the oldest) and have no need to rush out in the morning. My kids get a solid 11-12 hours, but my oldest often won't go to bed until almost midnight. He loves staying up in a quiet house (with no little sister bugging him) and being able to read in peace in his room. He'll sleep in until 11 am. I'm sure that would seem crazy to many people, but my primary focus has always been whether or not they are getting the right amount of total sleep (naps+overnight or just overnight once the naps were dropped), and that was always easy for me to gauge by behavior, etc.

[melrose7]

I have always been a stickler for naps and a set bedtime. when dd1 was 1 she needed three naps so she had a later bedtime but then dd2 dropped to one nap just after he turned 1 so that lead to early bedtimes for her. since dd1 has given up naps it is usually bedtime for her by 7 and she sleeps til 7:30 or later, and depending on dd2 wake up time from her nap but most likely she will be down sooner after. but naps are in cribs/bed once they are done sleeping in the swing. naptime is almost an always unless someone slept in really late for some reason and about the same time everyday. i think kids do better on a schedule but that is just my opinion.

[hillview]

DS #1 was not on a schedule til he was about 18 months. DS #2 was more of a schedule kid. Both boys do have a set bed time now. DS#2 has a set nap time (ish)
/hillary

[amldaley]

DD is on a schedule, but we use time frames or ranges, not exact times.

I WOHM full time (and then some) so DD is in daycare 8 - 10 hours a day, They are strict with nap time, so we try to keep the same schedule on the weekends, but within a two hour range. So, she naps at daycare at 11:45. We get her down sometime between 10:45 and 12:45.

Bedtime is anywhere between 7:15 pm and 8:00 pm (she only gets one nap at day care and she gets up between 5:30 am - 6:00 am)

When we need to break the schedule we do.

[smilequeen]

We are not on a schedule and it works for us. They are typically in bed by a certain time on weekdays and later on weekends. But we don't sweat getting off routine now and then. And naps are totally haphazard with my 2 year old (the 5 year old doesn't take them regularly). Since they are happy, healthy, and well rested, and I also don't need the schedule it works. If someone needed it (particularly the kids, I would think I could adapt), we would have one though.

Neither of you is strange, just different. It is going to seem strange to you b/c you can't imagine that working in your family. It probably seems strange to her to have a strict schedule b/c it wouldn't work in hers.

[sste]

After two months of insomnia sleep disorder treatment, I am now thoroughly convinced that teaching good sleep hygiene is a gift we can give our children! I don't think that means an absolutely inflexible nap/sleep schedule but it does mean a certain regularity, ability to follow the body's cues in older DC, teaching toddlers and kids to wind down through rituals etc, ensuring regular patterns of daytime exercise, and a pretty consistent wake time. There is evidence that individuals who go to bed late are more vulnerable to sleep disorders - - given our family history (multiple generations of insomnia on my side!) my goal is to continue having DS go to bed relatively early and wake up at the same time in the morning.

Also, inadequate sleep does interfere with learning - - if a child is falling asleep on the kitchen floor on a regular basis that is an indicator of sleep deprivation.

[vonfirmath]

My son sleeps better and behaves better during the day when his schedule is kept fairly regular. Not to the minute, time table. But about the same day in and day out.

The flow of that schedule has changed as he has aged,dropped naps, etc. But we have striven to have a regular schedule

[doberbrat]

we were an antischedule family till dd hit ps.

we're out & about often and dh couldnt follow a schedule to save his life so we never bothered.

I would put dd down for a nap/bed when she seemed sleepy but she never slept in odd places either.

She gave up naps at age 2 and that suited us just fine. Naps were a pia for our lifestyle. and no naps improved bedtime 1000%. w/naps, bedtime was around 10pm and w/o it came back to 8pm.

she's never had any issues w/her lack of schedule. nursed to sleep till age 3 and then gradually weaned herself and just started putting herself to bed after story time etc.

now we're a little stricter w/bedtime b/c she has to get up on more of a schedule. bedtime is 8pm. I dont wig out if its a bit later and if we're out for dinner etc and it gets pushed back to 9 or later, so be it.

I just pray #2 is the same way!

[jk3]

Whatever works! I like everyone to go to sleep by 8 but I'm not rigid about naptimes or bedtimes. It was easier to stick to a schedule when I had one child. Not so easy with 3!

[sste]

I also wanted to add that I have heard IRL from parents on lack of sleep regularity/undersleeping/phase shifted sleeping (very, very late night/very, very late morning) is "it is working for my kids and they are sleeping enough."

But, one thing to keep in mind with respect to insomnia and sleeping problems is that there are multiple components: 1) poor sleep habits; 2) genetics; 3) physiological activation/stress; and 4) AGING. My sleep therapist showed me a handy visual graph with a horizontal line representing insomnia and each of these contributing a component - - too many components and you end up with insomnia. Not directed at any posters here but in general I think it is important to recognize that the primary effect of poor sleep habits occurs not in childhood but in ADULTHOOD (when people add the stress component and the aging component to their poor sleep habits and they develop insomnia or other sleep disorders). So, the fact that it is working now is missing some of the point . . .

[mommyp]

DD definitely keeps to her schedule, but it has some flexibility as to when the nap occurs, it's generally around 11:30am though. She wakes up without fail between 6:30-7:00am and is noticeably sleepy about 4/4.5 hours after waking up. I keep thinking the nap will move later to the afternoon, but so far not! She sleeps about 1.5 hours, sometimes 2. Then she is ready for bed by 6:45-7pm. She usually tells me when she's ready to eat and that it's bathtime, which she knows is before bed. So for her the ritual of it is important.

We adjust when necessary, such as last night when bedtime was late because we were at friends for Thanksgiving. We didn't get home until 8pm, so we skipped the bath and she fell straight asleep after one story. But she was clearly overtired after dinner, we had two mini-meltdowns before leaving. So it's pretty clear to us that this schedule works best for her to stay a generally happy and well-rested kid!

[brittone2]

I also wanted to add that I have heard IRL from parents on lack of sleep regularity/undersleeping/phase shifted sleeping (very, very late night/very, very late morning) is "it is working for my kids and they are sleeping enough."

But, one thing to keep in mind with respect to insomnia and sleeping problems is that there are multiple components: 1) poor sleep habits; 2) genetics; 3) physiological activation/stress; and 4) AGING. My sleep therapist showed me a handy visual graph with a horizontal line representing insomnia and each of these contributing a component - - too many components and you end up with insomnia. Not directed at any posters here but in general I think it is important to recognize that the primary effect of poor sleep habits occurs not in childhood but in ADULTHOOD (when people add the stress component and the aging component to their poor sleep habits and they develop insomnia or other sleep disorders). So, the fact that it is working now is missing some of the point . . .

Thanks for sharing. For us, the later to bedtime cycle allows more family time. We sometimes end up tag teaming and DH is with DD while I do homeschooly stuff with DS (more involved projects that are harder to do during the day with two kids in the mix) or vice versa. I am personally not concerned about DS's sleep pattern. If it shifted any later, we'd have to talk/rethink, but for now, I'm okay with how it is working out.

DD is going to sleep a bit earlier than she was now that she dropped her nap. She was napping 1-3 or 2-4ish and then was not even remotely ready for bed until very late. DS dropped his nap right around 3 with a little encouragement from me for the same reason (was pushing bedtime back way late). She's almost 3. I'm kinda loving not having her nap.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I also wanted to add that I have heard IRL from parents on lack of sleep regularity/undersleeping/phase shifted sleeping (very, very late night/very, very late morning) is "it is working for my kids and they are sleeping enough."

But, one thing to keep in mind with respect to insomnia and sleeping problems is that there are multiple components: 1) poor sleep habits; 2) genetics; 3) physiological activation/stress; and 4) AGING. My sleep therapist showed me a handy visual graph with a horizontal line representing insomnia and each of these contributing a component - - too many components and you end up with insomnia. Not directed at any posters here but in general I think it is important to recognize that the primary effect of poor sleep habits occurs not in childhood but in ADULTHOOD (when people add the stress component and the aging component to their poor sleep habits and they develop insomnia or other sleep disorders). So, the fact that it is working now is missing some of the point . . .


I am a fan of if it works now, then stick with and deal with consequences if they come. There is no guarantee of trouble. Just like the sleep experts that tell you that if you nurse your baby to sleep that they'll be terrible sleepers...that wasn't my experience and if I had followed the advice not to nurse to sleep it likely would have made things much more stressful and difficult than it needed to be. I guess I have a hard time make a lifestyle change that may not be necessary. It is an interesting theory but right now I feel comfortable with my kids having a later bedtime and wake up than some other kids. A 7pm bedtime wouldn't work for my family, but 1 9 does. Everyone needs to take the information that is out there though and make an informed decision. It is helpful to hear what you shared so that can be factored in as well.

Beth

[Katigre]

I think it is important to keep track of how much sleep your kids are getting each day so you can make sure they're getting adequate rest. Sleep is important for growth and development just like good nutrition and as parents we should monitor both.

I keep a fairly regular bedtime for the kids - between 7:30-8:45 depending on what time they got up and what our day was like. My kids are somewhat strange in that they sleep in later if they go to bed later, and get up earlier if they go to bed earlier. So putting DD to bed at 7pm guarantees she'll be up for the day before 7am (blech!). But putting her to bed closer to 8pm means she sleeps until almost 8am :).

I find it a lot harder to follow any sort of nap schedule for DD (I have a somewhat regular morning nap for DD but her afternoon nap is all over the place). Every day of our week is different - some days I work part-time, some days DS has preschool, some days we're home, other days we have social activities. There's no regular rhythm to our days (but there is to our nights). My kids outgrow their naps early though so that helps with the daytime craziness, and it also helps that DD will nap on my back in a baby carrier and also in the car

I think it's crazy to be so attached to a bedtime that you never, ever alter it for special events. I also think that it's not a good thing for your child to be falling asleep randomly in the house because they don't have any consistent rhythm or routine to their sleep and life.

There is balance inbetween 'bedtime is 7pm sharp and we never, ever deviate from that schedule' and 'we don't believe in bedtimes or any type of family structure'

[gatorsmom]

We try to figure out what is working for each kid and tweak it as we go along while striving for a regular schedule. My oldest 2 don't nap and haven't since they were 2 year old. I started to realize that they'd go to sleep MUCH earlier at night if they didnn't nap. I dread when ChaCha even falls asleep in the car while running errands during the day because he is CERTAIN to be climbing the walls that night.

The twins still need their naps, although Greenbean clearly needs it much more than Sisi. I hear her up in her bed singing and playing for hours. I put them down at 1:30pm and get them up about 4:30pm everyday, for the most part.

[o_mom]

I also wanted to add that I have heard IRL from parents on lack of sleep regularity/undersleeping/phase shifted sleeping (very, very late night/very, very late morning) is "it is working for my kids and they are sleeping enough."



I also think that many parents don't recognize the signs of sleep deprivation in kids. They say "Oh, he doesn't need that much sleep - look at how much energy he has at 8/9/10pm" not realizing that the hyperactivity they see is a sign of being overtired and the body pumping out adrenaline to compensate for the stress.

Yes, there are a few toddlers that can get by on only 8 hrs of sleep a night, but they are far, far fewer than the number of parents who think they have one.

We are not on a super strict schedule, but I do keep a close eye on how much sleep they are getting and try to make sure and compensate for a missed nap/extra wakings with an earlier bedtime. We make sure that we provide the opportunity for adequate sleep, even if they don't always need it.

[amldaley]

After two months of insomnia sleep disorder treatment, I am now thoroughly convinced that teaching good sleep hygiene is a gift we can give our children! I don't think that means an absolutely inflexible nap/sleep schedule but it does mean a certain regularity, ability to follow the body's cues in older DC, teaching toddlers and kids to wind down through rituals etc, ensuring regular patterns of daytime exercise, and a pretty consistent wake time. There is evidence that individuals who go to bed late are more vulnerable to sleep disorders - - given our family history (multiple generations of insomnia on my side!) my goal is to continue having DS go to bed relatively early and wake up at the same time in the morning.

Also, inadequate sleep does interfere with learning - - if a child is falling asleep on the kitchen floor on a regular basis that is an indicator of sleep deprivation.

:yeahthat:

Well said and very true! This is one of the reasons we try to stay within a 2 hour time frame. My neurologist advised that more than two hours is hard for our bodies to compensate for and becomes a different schedule.

[o_mom]

There is balance inbetween 'bedtime is 7pm sharp and we never, ever deviate from that schedule' and 'we don't believe in bedtimes or any type of family structure'

Well said!

[sste]

Well, there is no zealot like the convert!

I should be clear though I wasn't trying to call out anyone here and there was nothing anyone here described that made me think, "Insomniac in the making." I just think it is something to keep in mind across childhood and especially when they aren't sleeping 11-12 hours but start to resemble adults more in their sleep patterns.

What I was thinking about when I posted was my own childhood experience (no bedtime ever!) and also one friend we have with very, very extreme lack of sleep scheduling for her 2 year old who I have seen fall asleep standing up on multiple occasions.

[brittone2]

Well, there is no zealot like the convert!

I should be clear though I wasn't trying to call out anyone here and there was nothing anyone here described that made me think, "Insomniac in the making." I just think it is something to keep in mind across childhood and especially when they aren't sleeping 11-12 hours but start to resemble adults more in their sleep patterns.

What I was thinking about when I posted was my own childhood experience (no bedtime ever!) and also one friend we have with very, very extreme lack of sleep scheduling for her 2 year old who I have seen fall asleep standing up on multiple occasions.

I can only speak for myself, but I wasn't offended :hug: Just explaining why our current system works for us. Many of the kids my son's age in our neighborhood go to bed at a more typical bedtime, but get 1.5-2 hours less total sleep per night, so I don't sweat how things are going right now.
Thanks for sharing your experiences though...always things to think about!