I miss my mom.

[elektra]

As I was decorating our tree last night, I completely broke down in tears, remembering decorating the tree with my mom when I was a child. My mom is still alive but her Alzheimer's is getting really bad, and the mom I knew is fading further and further away. The whole thing is very sad and cruel, but I really don't think the whole situation through on a regular basis. You just deal with it day to day. But something about that tree just brought it all to the surface.
I know things could be worse, but the whole Alzheimer's thing just really sucks.

[Melarina]

Thank you for sharing this tender experience. I am so sorry that you are hurting. I can imagine what a bittersweet time the holidays are especially. My best friend's grandmother had Alzheimer's and while I have not experienced the disease directly, I know it was a struggle for her family.

Please know that I am praying for you and for your family. You are a strong woman and your mother is proud of you, I am sure. Hugs and love to you.

[blisstwins]

I am so sorry. My grandmother had alzheimers and I remember there was a point when I caught myself thinking I did not like her. I LOVED my grandmother with all my heart, but the way she was at the end was not her and though I still loved her, I did not like her or enjoy her. I continued to treat her well, of course, but since my grandmother had always been my closest friend that feeling took me by surprise and I felt so guilty. It is a hard disease. My mom always says it's the "long goodbye." I wish peace to you and your family as you struggle with this. Sometimes crying helps. You do have much to mourn.

[gatorsmom]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I have no idea what you are going through but I imagine it's very difficult.

My mom has been dead for 4 years now and I think of her so much during the holidays. My advice is to give your mom hugs as often as she'll let you and try to remember the good, fun and silly times.

Big hugs to you.

[wencit]

I am so sorry. I have no experience, but wanted to give you :hug:. The holidays must make it so much harder.

[mommy111]

:hug::grouphug::hug:

[AnnieW625]

Hugs to you!

[elektra]

Thanks ladies.

[stefani]

:grouphug: to you. I can only imagine how hard that is for you, to see your Mom there, but not "there"...

My Mom (and Dad) is half way across the world, so I miss her a lot. Especially during the holidays when DH's family gathers and how my MIL gets to be so happy that "everyone" is together. I often feels that my own family is forgotten, much as I love and appreciate DH's.

[SammyeGail]

:hug::hug::hug:

Lots of hugs to you, I know how it is. My mom passed away a week before Thanksgiving last year. Every holiday was at my parents house, we always went. We had Thanksgiving at my sisters this year.

Its hard missing them, not being able to talk to them, and knowing things will never be the same again.....

[jgenie]

:hug::hug::hug:

[infomama]

Just hugs. Lots of hugs.

[MamaMolly]

I'm so sorry. We've dealt with this horrible disease in our family too. There are support groups available for children of parents going through this. I know it helped my mom a lot to be in hers. Take care.

[g-mama]

I'm sorry. I lost my mom 7 years ago to pancreatic cancer on New Years Day and always go into the holiday season remembering how she suffered and how badly it hurt to watch her struggle. The holidays can be extra hard. I understand. :hug:

[amandabea]

:hug: I'm sorry you're feeling down. Sometimes crying really helps.

[mamicka]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
I'm so sorry.

[arivecchi]

So sorry you are sad. The holidays are so difficult when something is amiss in your life. Hope you can still find lots of joy this holiday season. Hugs to you. :hug:

[SnuggleBuggles]

I am so, so sorry. Alzheimer's and dementia scare me so much for my parents or any loved one. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Beth

[crazydiamond]

I understand.

I recently traveled to see my family for thanksgiving. My mom is in the last stages of Parkinson's with Dementia. Each year has been worse and worse. It has been heartbreaking.

The birth of my 1st daughter 18 months ago was a great help to me in coping with this decline - seeing life on both ends spectrum.

Peace to you.

[Fairy]

(((Hugs)))

Remembering can hurt so much. I'm so sorry.

[sarahsthreads]

I am so sorry. My grandmother had alzheimers and I remember there was a point when I caught myself thinking I did not like her. I LOVED my grandmother with all my heart, but the way she was at the end was not her and though I still loved her, I did not like her or enjoy her. I continued to treat her well, of course, but since my grandmother had always been my closest friend that feeling took me by surprise and I felt so guilty. It is a hard disease. My mom always says it's the "long goodbye." I wish peace to you and your family as you struggle with this. Sometimes crying helps. You do have much to mourn.

Thank you for saying this, my grandfather has some form of dementia and is difficult to be with lately. I have been feeling so guilty about feeling this way, but it helps to know I'm not the only one to have these mixed feelings of love and dislike. I feel like I lost the grandfather I loved months ago. Last year around this time he was starting to have moments of confusion now and then, but now the moments of clarity are few and far between. He had me confused with my mother 30 years ago for much of Thanksgiving this year. The only person he can be counted on to remember is my DD2, because his eldest sister was named Anna. I can't imagine how my grandmother must feel on a daily basis.

OP, I am so sorry that you're dealing with this.

Sarah

[kijip]

:hug:

It's hard enough to miss my mom now that she is dead. Your post reminds me of how fortunate I was that she was sapient and present right up until the very end, allowing us the maximum time together. I can't imagine what you are going through but I know it must be very, very hard. I am so sorry for you and your family.

[clc053103]

i want to send you a great big hug from the East Coast!!! I can only imagine what you are going through!!!

My father was diagnosed with cancer right after thanksgiving 3 years ago- I remember putting up that tree with such care, wanting everything to be so perfect, I wouldn't even let DH help.....I knew it would be his last Christmas. He died shortly after. And once again this year I cried as I put up that tree, remembering how badly I wanted everything to be perfect for that last Christmas. I am so sorry you are having a hard time. I know what you are going through. Try to remember the joys of those prior Christmas, rather than dwell in grief- easier said then done I know!

[lizzywednesday]

One of my maternal great-grandmothers had Alzheimer's and it's probably one of the single most heartbreaking diseases a family can experience because you're watching the disease take the person you love away from you. Worse than cancer (I have had family members die from cancer) and worse than ALS (my mom's dad has ALS) because of the mental deterioration that leads to physical deterioration.

I truly empathize with the OP on this. The last time I saw my great-grandmother before she died, I was 16 and the deterioration was so great that she could barely babble in the broken Slovak she'd resorted to in the worst days. I often said that my great grandmother had died for me that day, as she was no longer the person I remembered from even 8 years before.

It hurts so very much to see this happening to a beloved family member. Don't let the disease rob you of the happy memories you have of your mother, despite the sadness you are feeling for your mother in the present. :hug:

[sste]

I am so sorry. It is terrible to lose someone like that before you lose them.