Anyone else burning the candle at both ends to make the Holidays happen?

[gatorsmom]

Admittedly, I don't need to do as much as I do. And since having kids, I have cut way back and started earlier and earlier in my planning each year. But, with the gift giving, wrapping and sending around the country that I do, and with the Xmas decorating and trying to find time to make Christmas cookies IN ADDITION TO the usual laundry, cooking and cleaning, I'm not getting much sleep. I have mixed emotions about this too. Part of me says everyone in the family would be content with me doing a lot less than I do, part of me says I should absolutely make the most of this special time. And then part of me feels guilty about not emphasizing more the true meaning of the holidays and getting caught up in the hype and materialism (which DH likes to remind me is good for the economy :rolleye0014: ).

Anyone else driving themselves crazy like this or am I the lone nut here? :D

[m448]

I'm lazy and have ADHD so take this what that huge grain of salt. Oh and I have perfectionist OCD tendencies.

A while back (before kids) I had to step back from getting cranked up during the holidays. My husband would have a very frazzled, frustrated and overtired wife which was not what I was going for in all my "doing". So once the kids were here I intentionally (very intenionally as in I have to remind myself over and over) did not overplan our holidays. We don't travel. Sometimes we have family visiting but they must fit into our low key celebration. We only do gifts for our kids. We live 900 miles away from family and I used to spend a fortune on shipping alone not to mention then the cost of the gifts, etc. It's just not something that's feasible for our family. We give birthday gifts and only to those close to us and we have no hard feelings.

I limit my decorations and I very intentionally clear my plate of things I feel I have to get done before the holidays. The nativity story mentioned sometime during the season, our christmas eve dinner and then a modest gift for each child and we're golden.

[maestramommy]

I love the holidays, but I am also lazy, so it's whatever the spirit moves me to do:p

I love decorating, but it's not practical with toddlers, so we still have the 19" tree on a table. Dora and Arwyn will help put the little decorations on it. And if I can find one I like, I'll get a wreath to hang over our garage. Eventually we will get a full sized tree and all the decorations for it, but not yet. I'd also like to do the candle in each front window (electric of course), but first I have to find them;)

We are not traveling this year, so we will probably visit or have visitors from family in MA. That's what we did this year for Thanksgiving and it worked out really well. Half day here, half day there. It just works out better for us and the kids.

The big thing for me is Christmas services, because I am in handbell choir, and Christmas is a busy time for handbells. Right now the girls aren't old enough to go to the candlelight service, so Dh will stay home while I go and perform. They will be able to go to the family hymn sing and living nativity. This year the pastor asked me and Dh to be Mary and Joseph, with Laurel as baby Jesus. Ummmm, we're still thinking about it:p One day the kids will be old enough to attend and/or participate in all the services, so that will be fun.

Presents, less is more, so that's what we go for.

[kijip]

No. Because my expectations rest somewhere about 3 notches below the floor.

We do what is fun and easy to do. If it is remotely stressful, we just don't do it anymore. I do most shopping from used stores or online, I like to cook and know how to cook so that part is not stressful. I don't want to spend the day with my brother at his new house so I spelled out that we could only do dessert Christmas Day.

I did fret a little about F's b-day and how to give him (and us!) a first b-day party----2 days after Christmas. But in the end we decided that a store bought black forest cherry cake, a few decorations and presents, and family and close friends would be just perfect.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Some years I think I do but I am hoping that I can go at a more relaxed pace this year. It's hard not to get wrapped up in wanting to do everything both at home and outside of the house. Like, I always have lofty ideas of sitting around the tree every night before Christmas but that never seems to happen. I need to figure out how not to feel sad about missing that. I have scaled back some things but I imagine things will be frenzied at some points.

I hope that I got the biggest holiday hurdle over now which was hosting Thanksgiving then 2 days later hosting ds2's party...one more party to go on Wed.. After that I think the rest should be smooth sailing. Please talk me out of hosting a cookie exchange if I come to the boards with that idea. As much as I would love to do I know it'd be too much.

Beth

[daniele_ut]

I love the holidays, but I am also lazy, so it's whatever the spirit moves me to do:p




Presents, less is more, so that's what we go for.

This describes us exactly!

[alexsmommy]

Not this year, pregnancy has forced me to slow down. I don't do a ton of decorations anyway and what I have out is kid-proof stuff. We have a flat roof over our front porch with a rail (an very unsafe rail, we never sit out there) that I usually put lights and a wreath on. I had DH do it this year for obvious reasons. I'll put some garland on our front stair rails later this week.
75% of shopping is done and 75% of that has been online with no special trips for the othter 25% - just places like Target where I go anyway. I will make one trip to a mall I don't usually hit in the next week or two, but as long as it's without kids it won't feel stressful.
I plan to start wrapping this week. I HATE wrapping (even though I've been told I'm good at it) so just doing a few a day is more palatable to me than doing it all at once.
The biggest stressor will be Christmas Eve. Another big meal, plus I prep breakfast foods (french toast casserole and egg casserole) and then the Santa gig. DH usually doesn't do that much of the work. I joke that he should still believe in Christmas magic too since Christmas just happens for him - house decorated, baked goods show up, most of the shopping done since he'll wait until the week before and I absolutely cannot abide doing it that way, kids in cute outfits, meals show up etc. This pregnancy is kicking my butt though so he'll have to help more this year.
My concessions will probably be simplifiying the Christmas Eve meal. Christmas Day meals are easy (by design - I want to spend the day watching the kids enjoy their gifts, not cooking) and not hosting a cookie decorating party for the kids this year.
In general I've been working to balance my own desire for the kids to have magical memories with not creating not-so-magical ones for myself. I see so many women look absolutely frazzled by the 23rd and I just don't want that.

[lizzywednesday]

I'm trying to plan out my December, but also have to remind myself constantly that, no matter how good I feel, I still have to take it easy ... I'm pregnant (1st DC is due in March) so it's going to get a bit tougher as the month wears on.

Thank G-d for online shopping!!!! Despite her request for cash, I couldn't resist getting my sister a charm for the Pandora charm bracelet I bought her as a baby gift ... since I started the bracelet for her, this was my intention all along anyway. (I still need a small token gift for her BF and want to get my nephew a Sophie the Giraffe teether. He'll be a little over a month old at Christmas, so it should come in handy soon enough!)

Other than that, I plan to start cookie baking with the simplest recipes for after work, which means drop cookies (oatmeal, chocolate chip, etc.) although I want a metal cookie scoop or two to ensure uniform-sized cookies (quicker, more even baking) and will have to check how much parchment paper I have left. [Never start baking anything without parchment. It's the best stuff ever invented.]

However, baking can't happen until I inventory my supplies and either DH or I clean the kitchen. And I mean CLEAN. I also want to invite my sister down to help with the big stuff - like decorating gingerbread, etc.

We dug out our Christmas decorations today, but I still need to clean the living room before I can put the tree up ... and I also want to plug in a power strip so we can enjoy our tree and use our laptops at the same time.

Lastly, I want to arrange a day-trip to NYC with friends so we can go up and see the tree at the Met (OK, it's no Rockefeller Center, but it's still beautiful) and maybe head to the Village for lunch and a browse around the Union Square Holiday Market.

Honestly, although it looks like I have a lot of plans, I am not planning to run myself ragged over Christmas this year. There's no point to it, especially if it's going to make me cranky and emotional!!!

[hellokitty]

I used to want everything to be perfect. However, last yr, I was so sick (hyperemesis) while I was pregnant and just totally run down, I went minimalistic. I just chose to do a few things that I felt were really worth it and reminded myself we have time to do other stuff (ie: baking with the kids is something I keep thinking I *should* do, but the end result is always me totally irritated and the kitchen a big dusty mess). I've learned from last yr's exp that it's ok to just do a few things and not everything. We're not hosting Christmas this yr, but our Thanksgiving guests stayed from Wed-Sat and I am still not all the way recovered from it. I think that when you have little kids and you are past a certain age, everything just really starts to catch up with you and you have to remind yourself that it's ok not to be super mom.

[fivi2]

I have pretty low expectations for myself ;) But this year, I actually feel pretty okay. We just put up our tree and did the outside lights. I have bought all the girls' gifts (including their birthday gifts which is just before christmas). Actually I have bought pretty much all gifts. I have even done their party favors!

I have to get through their birthday party in two weeks (and I need to order the cake tomorrow!) and do christmas cards, the calendars I make for grandparents, and dough ornaments and cookies. Which sounds like a lot, but spread out over three weeks, I think I can do it!

I order gifts for away people on line so I don;t have to deal with shipping, and I do not feel the least bit guilty.

Christmas day, my sister and I either order a turkey or just do a turkey breast. Then we divide up the sides. It really isn't that much work if you take the turkey out of the planning!

I don;t know - when I write it all down I start to panic, but if I do one or two things a day, I will be fine!

Good luck!

[brittone2]

Some years we do more and some less, depending on what else is going on and what we feel up for. Last year and this year we did a lot of decorating, but we are expecting a visit from my ILs on Christmas (only see them about 2x per year), and we all love the holidays.

I start early. Shopping is nearly finished, tree is up and decorated, outside lights are 75% finished (just picked up some more lights today). I have some of our out of town gifts packaged and addressed, just need to lug them to the post office. I still have more stuff to package to ship out of town (that's my least favorite task). Photo cards on the way and they'll need to be addressed and sent out.

The only reason I have all of that finished is because DD and I both have December bdays. DH and I have a December anniversary. MIL, SIL, and DH's grandmother, and one of my closest friends all have December bdays as well. So if things didn't happen early, they wouldn't happen.

We've had years where we've been more minimalist and have been very content those years as well.

[elephantmeg]

I'm thinking low expectations again this year. I work Christmas this year (was off t-giving and new years) and it's my weekend to work. Bro and SIL came for t-giving instead of xmas. DH did decorate outside (lights) today (it was great weather) and I dug out the winter flag and DH found the candles for the windows. So now I need to find the house from all the crap from having people here since Wed (mom and dad leave tomorrow) and then I guess we'll do the tree in a week or 2. DD is into everything.

Work is doing a cookie exchange so I'll do that-each person bakes a dozen of something for each person for a dozen each of everyone elses... I haven't bought a single thing. We've pared down who we're buying for so that helps! It's the Christmas parties that get to me-the secret santa stuff etc.

[bubbaray]

Our tree is up and the lights on, but not decorated. Outside lights are up too -- so far, DH is winning the neighborhood "light-fest".

I have pretty much ZERO shopping done and I am FREAKING out. Usually I'm done by now. Sigh.

I was going to do tons this weekend, but DD#1 was super-grumpy yesterday and, lo and behold, spiked a nearly 40C fever last night and has been basically bed-ridden all day today. So, I've once again gotten next to nothing done.

[ourbabygirl]

Well, I'm a SAHM and this is only my second Christmas with a kid, so things should stay fairly light preparation-wise. Last year we were dealing with a colicky baby and also had her baptism that month (about 20-30 showed up at our home right when we got back from the church, & the food wasn't all ready beforehand... for the next kid's baptism, we're going out to eat afterwards!). So we must have been very much in survival mode since I don't remember much from the holidays!
Anyhow, this year will be less chaotic, but now DD's digging into the ornaments and other stuff that I'm trying to keep her away from, so we'll see if we make it through the season unscathed! ;) I started a bit of shopping in the last month or so, and since I assigned who would get gifts for which niece/ nephew, we only have to buy for my nephew and not for my brothers and their wives. We'll probably do gift cards for DH"s mom and siblings, since they don't have much money and would rather have that, anyhow. I'm hosting a cookie-making party next weekend, so hopefully that'll go well. We put up just one tree this year instead of 2, and DH put that up yesterday since he had to leave for a work trip today. I need to finish decorating that, then maybe next weekend DH will put up some lights outside- that's his deal, so I don't stress over getting it done.
I need to get the Christmas cards out in the next few days, but really if they don't get out this week, it's no big deal. I'm still debating whether or not to just pop 'em in the envelopes and call it a day, or if I need to write a little message on the back of each one (they're photo cards).
The house is a mess of fall decorations needing to go downstairs, laundry, dishes, etc., etc., so when I can get it de-cluttered, I'll feel much better! :)
I bought a wooden advent calendar a couple weeks ago and filled each box with activities for each day leading up to Christmas. It's really not to add more stress to the holidays, but to just get more enjoyment out of them, and to make fun new memories with DD... I want her to grow up knowing it's not just about the presents. A visiting priest at church today had a really good message, with it being the first Sunday of Advent. He talked about being present in the moment (the present), not to focus on the past or the future. So I'm going to try to be better about that, including being online less and really just enjoying my daughter and husband more! That's what it's all about, anyhow. :heartbeat:

[sste]

Thanksgiving practically did me in! DH gone overnight and working during the day for seven days straight at the hospital, me working full-time, his sister and husband staying with us for four days (!) without dh around, in-laws inviting themselves over for full thanksgiving dinner cooked by yours truly after day at work (dh still at work) and with two-year old wrapped around my knees.

For christmas/hanukah, I am focusing on letting my dh make up thanksgiving to me! We are limiting things to a few gifts for DS, photo calendars for close relatives, and we are traveling to see family and will order chinese food for dinner.

[bigpassport]

December is going to be a doozy for me this year compared to my quiet just-DH-and-me years past. DS is going to be 6 mos, so I want to get some professional 6 mos photos of him...in addition to a photo with Santa and some kind of family holiday photo. And I want to do a Shuttefly photo book of DS's first 6 mos for grandparent gifts. DS's adoption hearing is in the middle of the month. MIL is staying with us from Christmas to New Year. Our temple ceremony for DS is on 12/29 with approx. 30 of DH's family coming in from out of town so we are doing a mini family reunion (I won't have to organize the whole thing, but I'm the only person in town so I will have to get a lot of stuff together). Then SIL and her family of 3 will be staying with us along with MIL for New Years Eve so I'll have to plan something for New Years Eve. I'm kind of looking forward to it, but I'm definitely not going to go all perfectionist or anything.

[lilycat88]

This holiday season has already just about done me in.

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty good when I can stay AWAKE. The fatigue is brutal.

We went to a friend's house for Thanksgiving....thankfully. But, my mom was in town from wednesday to Friday and then we went to my home town (2 hours away) for the dedication of an Advent wreath we gave to our church in memory of my father.

Next Saturday is a family wedding 2 hours away.

The following weekend is our annual Christmas party for about 80 folks.

We have no decorating done. I still have to plan the party menu. I still need to buy gifts for our 3 angel tree kids. I've purchased Christmas items throughout the year but need to dig them out and see what I actually have. I'll sing in 3 services Christmas Eve.

Oh, and we're in the midst of planning a total remodel of our first floor. The kitchen is going to be gutted, new hardwood througout, moving walls... The builder wants to start January 15th.

I'm burning the candle at both ends and the middle.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Wow, y'all are some busy folks. I haven't looked at the whole month's calendar to see what all is coming up. I'm just knocking out one task at a time, trying to keep it low-key.

Although, I see it is 15 min. until midnight and DH just slipped off to bed after we've been working on sending out Christmas cards. So...yes, I guess I'm burning the candle at both ends, but I didn't take time to notice. Nothing's decorated here yet, although DD did as if we could take her to the Christmas store so she could learn about Christmas trees and more about Jesus' birthday, lol. She'll start our day around 6am, so that qualifies as the top of the candle, right?

Lisa, I'm sure your family appreciates all you put into it.

[Fairy]

Right here! :wavey:

[elektra]

This year the pastor asked me and Dh to be Mary and Joseph, with Laurel as baby Jesus. Ummmm, we're still thinking about it:p

You should do it! I think this would be so cool. :)

And back to the original question:
I am not going too crazy yet, but like Melissa said, I am also way behind on shopping and am starting to freak out.
Lisa, your kids will probably not appreciate it now but when they grow up (well maybe not until they are parents themselves ;) ) they will cherish the memories of the special holiday times they had with you as children. They will realize how much you did to make it so magical for them. Try to release whatever guilt you have and do what makes you happy. :)

[MommyAllison]

The only part that is totally overwhelming me right now is my list of sewing & knitting to complete for Christmas gifts. Other than that, we're doing well this year! Christmas lights and wreath are up, only 2 gifts left to buy, lots of baking left but that is enjoyable. :)

[BayGirl2]

I'm probably leaning toward the over committed end of the spectrum, but I'm convinced that good organization and planning will make things manageable. We just committed to having the extended family over for Christmas eve (25+ people), the immediate family over for Christmas day (12+ people), a work dinner (10 people) and I'm having a baby food making party for my mom's group (3-5 people). Plus we have a bunch of friends to get together with, parties to attend, family performances to watch, and random events that will pop up. I would really like to make something like chocolates and/or cookies but that will be optional if I have the time.

On top of this DS is starting a new day care on Tuesday, DH is traveling all next week, and I am starting a new work project that will require at least 2 trips for 2 nights each - my first time traveling since the baby (and pumping). I'm also looking for a new job so that's taking up some free time. I realized today that everything takes so much longer now that we have a baby.

I do feel like we can handle it all though. We got the tree, decorations and lights up today. Thanks to black Friday I have ~70% of my shopping done and some things are already wrapped and under the tree. We are not traveling until NY's, from Wed to Wed so it won't be too crowded. And we both like entertaining and cooking and do it often, so putting on a dinner for 12 is not really a big production for us, its enjoyable.

Things are under control, all will be good, this project and travel will be manageable, and I will find a new job without travel for the new year..... I keep repeating that in my head....

[daisymommy]

Sigh. I'm right there with you sister (but then you're probably not surprised by that admission, are you? ;)). I'm tired just thinking about all that I want to do. Should I give myself a break? Yes. Will I most likely end up a crazy woman by Dec. 26th when it's all said and done and need a majorly long nap? Absolutely! Like you said, I feel like I need to capitalize on these early child hood years. My mother was a domestic diva and amazing mother, so I feel the need to follow in her footsteps and give my children all that I had as a child.

I guess I should post this thread on my fridge and read it as part of my 12 step Holiday recover plan!

[MoJo]

This year, it's all about taking care of myself. I don't have anything done, besides most of the shopping (and getting ready to give myself permission to call the shopping done.) And I have my first fiber-optic mini-gazebo with Christmas trees out, which DD loves.

I LOVE decorating, so I will do some, but I'm not pulling everything out this year.

Thanks to the Christmas card thread, I've gotten a head start on gathering addresses, and I'm looking at the option of making a collage print to throw into them instead of trying to get another family picture.

I realized yesterday that if I don't get my decorating done by this weekend, I'll have less than two weeks to enjoy it, because I'm leaving on the 19th. I'm still thinking of asking DH for help in rearranging the living room (something we've been wanting to do anyway) for my birthday this weekend so I can put up the tree. (He doesn't care if I decorate or not . . . or actually, he might slightly prefer that I didn't).

The only event, besides driving to see family for a week, is a Breakfast with Santa at DH's school that sounds fun. Unless work does a lunch, which the boss is talking about.

But to those with older children. . . I always LOVED Christmas. My parents made it very magical. Mostly, decorations (I loved ringing the bells hanging from the garlands every night before bed), gifts (by which I mean learning to make and buy for others even more than receiving things ourselves), and homemade electric cookie gun cookies with sprinkled sugar on top. Gift wrapping has always been a family activity. . . you just have to wrap things that come in their own boxes when that person isn't around. That won't work with my 18-month old of course, but was wonderful growing up and something I will enjoy this year at Mom's house when DD naps.

You can keep it simple, but know that I wanted to carry on those traditions long before I had DC of my own. I've already bought my own electric cookie gun, with the same shapes we had growing up and a copy of the same recipes.

[Ceepa]

We got a lot done this weekend as far as pulling out the decorations and putting up everything so that has created a lot of momentum. I feel pretty good right now but talk to me again in two weeks and it may be different.

[Moneypenny]

The only thing I'm stressing about right now is traveling. I've got most of the shopping done, a good start on the baking, and DH handles the decorating. My family is not cooperating with traveling, however. The way it stands at the moment, it looks like we will be doing about 28 hours of driving (spread out over three trips because, of course, even though the 3 places we need to go are all on the same highway, none of the families can agree to dates in the same week) with a kid who gets carsick and thus can't read books or watch DVDs or do anything other than sit in the backseat and want to play road games with me. Argh!!!