2 1/2 yr old too friendly with strangers....advice?

[TamiRuns]

Background....both of our boys prefer the men in our family over the women. They gravitate toward their uncles and male cousins....not a big deal. But what I've noticed within the past 6 months, and became obviously clear today, is that our 2 1/2 yr old will go up to most any male (when dh isn't with us) and want to be friends with him. Today I took the boys to Bounce U (if your not familiar with this place, it's an indoor play area with giant inflatables.) Weve been there before and the boys LOVE one of the male employees who works in the play area making sure all the kids are safe and also plays with them- that's his job. My little guy follows this employee around wanting him to play with him. I'm always right there to supervise of course and this doesn't bother me too much. But today our little guy was going up to the other dads and wanted them to play....would take their hand to attempt to lead them where he wanted to play....all the time, I'm there saying "come (do this or that) with mommy" - I don't want any of these people to think I don't want to play with my boy/s. But the little one gets mad and doesn't want ME.....most of the dads there today were very kind and weren't bothered by him but I'm
concerned at how trusting ds2 is. I don't have experience with this - ds1 is very social but never approached others like his brother is doing. Is this a phase? It's not like this happens very often - only in a play type environment when he is free to roam. I just can't help but think how willingly he would go off with any of the men we encountered today.....or if he got away from me in a store. (not that I expect that to happen...)
Sorry so long....any advice to share or similar experience? TIA!

[elektra]

No BTDT exactly. My DD is also very friendly and is not shy around adults usually. She is also very affectionate towards other kids and sometimes wants to hug and kiss them even when they don't want to. I try to talk to her about personal space, but she is also only 2 1/2 so I'm not sure what gets through exactly.
I did just finish reading "Protecting the Gift" and per that book, it's not necessarily a horrible thing if your child is outgoing. In fact, the book says that child predators actually prefer quieter or withdrawn children when choosing their target. The book also says to encourage your child to be vocal if something doesn't feel right to them. So I am not expert but I might just try to keep encouraging him to play with you guys and not make a huge deal out of approaching others just to say hi.
Hoping others will chime in because my DD sounds similar to your DS in this respect.

[hillview]

At 2.5 there isn't much you can do other than keep an eye on DC. To be realistic there are VERY few predators and most likely to be in your family so that might help keep things in perspective. Once DC is a little older (maybe closer to 4) you could talk abour personal space and strangers etc. At this age for my child at least it wouldn't sink in. I have not read "protecting the gift" but if you search for it on this board several parents do suggest it.

ETA: My parents always said they were very worried I'd go off with anyone -- very friendly/outgoing. I do think it is something you outgrow to some extent but also just personality.
/hillary

[Melaine]

My thought is that children at that age need to watched like a hawk every single second. I understand why you might be concerned, but I don't think your DS's friendliness makes him more likely to be a victim over a more shy child, ykwim? The truth is, any of our children could be a victim by anyone at any time, as sad as it is true. Which is why we have to be really vigilant.

[TamiRuns]

Okay, so it sounds like I shouldn't be overly concerned about ds2 at this point. We have been talking a lot about personal space and strangers with ds1 but obviously ds2 is simply too young to understand....
Thanks for the input!