Bottle is her Lovey (Long and Desperate)

[jtannerchs]

DD is 21 months and we are trying to wean as kindly as possible – no cold turkey. I am terrified of bottle cavities (I had horrible, rotten teeth as a child from sugar water bottles). She can drink out of a regular, non-sippy cup fairly well at this point, so inability to drink out of a cup is not why she is attached to the bottle.

Here is our situation right now:
1. 9 oz milk bottle when she wakes up and cries for “baba”
2. Water bottle for naptime
3. An afternoon bottle I am trying to get rid of – I am successful at this point about 60-70% of the time. It takes EXTREME distraction (usually have to leave the house) to avoid this bottle.
4. 9oz. milk bottle during or after dinner…again, not offered, she cries for it.
5. Water bottle for bedtime.

She doesn’t carry around her bottle (drinks it in our lap or in booster chair).

She won't take a pacifier

She doesn’t drink juice (in bottle or out) – but only because we don’t offer it.

She refuses milk in a sippy, straw cup and regular cup. I have about 15+ different kinds of sippys and straw cups – including every brand of “transition” sippy “nipples.” She will not touch them, and if she does it is only to throw it across the room and scream “NO!”

Where do I go from here, assuming I can finally get rid of that afternoon bottle? Do I then drop the morning bottle? She would only be down to 9 oz of milk a day then and she doesn’t eat yogurt, or cheese for that matter to make up for the calcium. She refuses them. Trying to offer her the milk in the cup just makes her frantic for a bottle and makes trying to distract her from the “baba” impossible.

We’ve been talking a lot lately to her about being a “big girl” and drinking milk from a cup. Today she even picked out a cup we bought at the store that was going to be her milk cup, and she seemed excited. However, when I filled it with milk at home, she started crying frantically for the “baba”, and saying “no milk cup…want baba”

Help! I am so stressed about this.

Anyone else out there that has/had a "baba" lover? All my friends had those kids that barely whimpered when they took the bottle away....

*************UPDATE 4/28/2010*****************

Just wanted to update for all those searching for weaning off the bottle.

She's 25 months and it's been 3 weeks and she is off the milk bottles! Still takes a water bottle before nap and bedtime, but no more milk bottles :-).

What happened: One day she didn't ask for milk (which always led to her begging for a bottle). I didn't offer that day. Over the course of the week she asked once or twice. But didn't fret too much over it, so I said here is a cup of milk. It wasn't the blood curdling cry she had before. It was more of a whine, and I'm fine ignoring a whine. She took a few sips. That's it.

About a week after no bottle and her not asking, she suddenly started crying for a bottle one morning. The crying became so frantic and lasted a long time so I gave in and she complained about the nipple. Turns out the nipple was probably ripped or something, but I told her this is the milk bottle nipple, I don't know what to tell you. And that did it. She didn't want it. She hasn't asked again the last few weeks.

She did it herself. :bighand:

She doesn't drink milk anymore, but has been drinking one of those Stoneyfield Farms yogurt smoothies each morning.

I think I'll sit back on the water bottles for a while...Not really concerned about them since her dentist isn't either.

[Swimfreak78]

Not sure what type of bottles you are using. I know with DS we tried lots of sippy's before finally hitting on the right combination. Have you tried Dr. Brown sippys? T used that bottle and that was the one cup he would take. We then were able to -- over time transition him to straws and now he's using a sippy w/out valve that kind of looks like a coffee cup. Cutting the bottle can be hard -- one other thing to try and I know it might sound crazy is taking the little medicine cups (you know the ones that are on top of liquid tylenol for kids) and putting a little bit of liquid in that. That's how we are introducing a "regular cup" and we do this in the tub so DS doesn't make too huge of a mess. I'm sure the other mom's will have advice -- but that's my $0.02. I hope it helps.

Most of all -- patience and good luck!

[jtannerchs]

Thanks Swimfreak,
She actually doesn't even need to use a sippy or straw cup anymore. She drinks water (and the occasional juice at a restaurant) just fine in a small adult cup.

I just can't get her to drink milk out of a cup...or sippy for that matter. So when she starts begging for her milk, the word baba comes not long after.

But maybe she would take milk from a tiny medicine cup. She might be interested in the novelty of it, and even if it were just a swallow of milk, it would be a step in the right direction.

[Tondi G]

I remember someone saying their child was anti milk in a cup so they started really slowly... water with a couple of spoonfuls of milk, then maybe an ounce of milk in 6 oz of water and then week by week adding a little bit more and a little bit more till their kiddo was drinking milk in their sippy cup. My DS was addicted to his bottle too. I think he was close to 2 (maybe a month or 2 over) when we were able to finally just do away with it. It started with me telling him any laying down bottles would be water... no more milk before sleep. he was fine with that. Then he was having I think 2 bottles of milk per day(we used the playtex nurser so whatever a full tall bottle is in oz). when he started chewing on the nipples I told him if he bit them they would go in the garbage and we were not buying any more. we got down to ONE nipple. We used the Nuby sippy cups with the silicone spout since they were closer to a nipple.. then found he was happier with the cheap take and toss cups. eventually we just stopped with bottle and he never looked back (feels like SO long ago but it was only 2 years).

Hope you can get it worked out. I know a lot of kids who stopped drinking milk when they stopped drinking from a bottle. then eventually they picked it back up in cups, cereal etc. You might try a straw cup? go to a restaurant and get one of their plastic cups that she can't see through, order her milk but don't tell her what is in the cup... she might not realize. You can always swap it out for water if she doesn't like it.

[kijip]

I am not sure it's necessary to push it just now, maybe drop it and try again when she is closer to 2?

Also, I have never drank a cup of milk, or a bottle of milk for that matter. In my entire life. I hate milk. And I get plenty of calcium and did as a child. Dairy is not the only source, or even the richest source, of calcium. You can always give her calcium supplements if you think she needs it.

But I would let her keep the bottle. Breastfeeding babies still nurse at 21 months...if the bottle is comforting to her, let her keep it for a bit longer. You are already doing the right thing and not giving her milk to sleep with. Maybe it is more about the sucking than the contents?

Katie

[carolinamama]

DS1 took a bottle until he was slightly past 2. He had one in the morning and evening. We were just careful to brush his teeth after he finished the evening one. That is the only way he has ever liked milk - he still will not drink milk in a cup to this day and he is 4. I don't like milk either so I don't blame him! I certainly wouldn't stress over this - she won't take her bottle to college. As for our pedi - I just never mentioned this little habit of ours since I thought it was a parenting choice and none of his business. ;)

[Kestrel]

I haven't BTDT, but my sister has five DD's, and her youngest would only drink milk if she couldn't see it! They had to get sippys that were not see through/clear. Have you tried that?

I don't know if this was a good idea, but another of sister's DD drank oveltine (is that spelled right?) milk, and they gradually but less and less in, until it was plain milk.

[jtannerchs]

Tondi: Yeah, I did the watering down method for her nap and bedtime bottles. I thought when it got to only water, she'd give it up. But, no, she kept right with the water bottles. ;)

I read that about the adding milk to a sippy on this site too, and tried that. We can get in a few tablespoons of milk in a lot of water, but at some point she realized it was milk, and that stopped. Now she is suspicious of all non see through sippys.

Kijip: Maybe I will relax a bit until closer to 2...which is pretty soon. I don't like milk either...blah, but I think if she took milk in a cup, we'd be that much closer to weaning off it. She usually starts off asking for milk - then realizes she wants it in a bottle soon after.

Carolina: I have thought about lying to the pedi every time she asks about the bottle at our well baby appointments - but I'm a really bad liar. I'd start sweating, or rubbing my nose, or stuttering. Ha. Did you eventually just go cold turkey on the bottle with DS1?

Kestrel: Interesting about the ovaltine. My pedi recommends trying that too.

Here's what's happened in the last few days: She took 3 sips from the straw cup we bought together to drink milk in. I had her Elmo, then Cookie Monster and Ernie doll "drink" milk from it and asked if she wanted to too. She was really excited, did it fast, was really proud...then started screaming she wanted her baba. Then she took the straw cup, put it in her toy box, closed the lid and said: "bye bye milk cup." So I think maybe we are on our way to getting rid of the baba...in the next few months. I think she understands that it's time, wants to do it, then freaks out and needs to be comforted it is still there. We're doing better skipping that midday bottle too. At least the last 2 days have been easier.

Or, she could just be that one kid that does indeed take her baba to college. :ROTFLMAO:

Thanks for putting it into perspective and making me feel less stressed.

[jtannerchs]

*UPDATE*

So it's 2 months later, and we just got back from the dentist, so I wanted to update for anyone searching about weaning from a bottle.

We are down to 2 bottles of milk a day. One in the morning, and one around 3 or 4pm. She still takes a water bottle for nap time and bedtime. She refuses a sippy cup for juice and water - she will only drink out of a "mommy" cup.

The dentist today said she doesn't care if she were to take a bottle in this fashion until she is 4 or 5. She said it won't harm her teeth as long as:
1. She doesn't take a bottle of juice
2. She doesn't take a bottle of milk to bed
3. She doesn't carry the bottle of milk around, she has to just drink it in one sitting (she does)
4. We continue to brush twice a day and floss at least once a day
5. She doesn't sleep with the bottle of water throughout the night sucking on it (she doesn't)

So, while I don't want her to go until 4 or 5, I feel a HUGE weight lifted off of me.

Just thought I'd share this for anyone else in the same situation. :wink2:

[karstmama]

i understand about you wanting to be gentle, so this isn't really directed at you, but for someone else reading some other time.

i've read somewhere that for little kids, habits take three (potentially rough) days to change. i worried about getting my son to lose the paccy and braced for three horrible terrible nights, but it was really a non-event - a bit more rocking & a teense more fretting, but really not a big deal. i was pleasantly surprised.

so if you feel up against a wall for some reason (i stopped the paccy because we were down to one, no more were available, and we were going to travel later that month and i didn't want to *have* to wean from it then under less controlled conditions if we were to lose it), take a deep breath and plan on three days for the change.