Do You Feel Like Self-Medicating When You do Arts Projects with the DC?

[sste]

I am always so tense when I am doing any crafts projects with DS, age 2. It is one of the few things I do with him where I literally cannot relax and would love an atavan or good stiff drink! He colors everywhere he is not supposed to (as in on the table, on his hands). He sticks the children's scissors by his eyes. He tosses glitter and crumples up paper. Today I took him to paint a mug store for dad and I know its pretty normal for a two-year old but he put the paint in his hair, on his cheeks, over 2 feet of the work table, a huge gob in his mouth that turned his tongue and teeth blue, etc. And he did not want to paint the actual mug.

Will this pass with age? Does anyone else find arts and crafts particularly trying?

[sarahsthreads]

Hrm, well, I still find arts and crafts particularly trying with my 5 year old. We put paint inside glass ornaments today, and swirled it around with a paintbrush. There was paint in her hair. In my hair. On the table (don't ask me how - it was covered with newspaper *and* we were using an old cookie sheet covered with wax paper as a work surface), on the floor, on the dogs, on my shirt (I was wearing an apron) and pretty much everywhere else *except* inside the ornaments.

DD1 kept saying "I want to do it all myself!" and I kept saying "Stop making such an enormous mess!" And I had to step away for a minute several different times (could be why there was paint everywhere) so we could get through the project without me completely losing my cool. And now I remember why I'd been letting the school deal with the mess and stress of paint and sticking to crayons and markers at home. The paint is going to disappear for a while again...

Oh, and also, DD2 loves to color. On the floor.

I'm totally right there with you on needing a good stiff drink!

Sarah :)

[kwc]

oh... yes.

Thank you for articulating it so well.
I don't think it gets that much better with age, though I have mellowed a bit with my second child... maybe because he doesn't do art.

But I still cannot let my 6 y/o DD cut cookies out by herself... I nearly had a heart attack when she cut only 4 cookies out of a sheet of dough but placed them so it had to be re-rolled to cut any more.
Fortunately, DD likes sweeping.

[bubbaray]

I think its partly age-appropriateness in the child and partly parental attitude. For example, I find most A&C stuff really tedious with both my girls. DH, OTOH, who has the patience of a saint with the girls can do pretty much any project with them and be fine.

I do better with concrete tasks, like foam sticker sets or foam assembly projects from Michaels. I will burn in hell environmentally, but they have saved my bacon with DD#1 in particular on many occasions. DH likes to just let them have at it with whatever random craft stuff the girls grab. Frequently, he falls asleep during said projects. This past summer, he let DD#2 paint at her easel in our kitchen/ family room. He said she got really quiet and he fell asleep. Next thing he knew, she was standing beside him, naked. Except for the head to toe paint job she had given herself She looked like she had been dipped in milk chocolate, it was pretty funny. Same thing happened this past weekend. She was coloring, it got quiet, he fell asleep -- lo and behold, there is now a rainbow of (hopefully washable) marker on our family room carpet.

See a pattern here?

[ellies mom]

My husband watches the girls the same way. It is frightening what I come home to some days. You would have thought he'd learn when he woke up while the oldest was putting lipstick on him, the kind of lipstick that requires makeup remover. But apparently no.

Anyhow, back to the OT, parental attitude goes a long way. Setting yourself up for success helps too. I hate glitter, so we don't have it. Little crayons are annoying, they break all the time. Buy big ones. Get a roll of butcher paper spread it out and let him color "big like". Buy washable markers, paints and crayons, they wipe off the skin with a baby wipe and clean up great. Let him color on himself, it is part of exploring. If you don't want him tearing through a whole bunch of paper, just bring out 2-5 sheets and let him crumple them. Put away the scissors until he is older. Focus on the process, not the end result.

[kijip]

I enjoy doing them with him, however I do want a drink when fighting with him over what he thinks he has to keep for a project...they did a recycle art section in school and now dude thinks every old paper, every empty yogurt container, ever cereal box, every smashed sales slip, every broken pen is fodder for some craft or another. But he uses it at a slower speed than he collects it and he wants to keep everything. This contrasts unfavorably with my view of clutter. It's a negative sum game. I want to kick the person who taught recycle art. Hard. Literally 9 out of 10 fusses dude has have something to do with if he is going to be allowed to keep some would be recycling or garbage for the project. It's tiring. And messy. I want a drink just typing about it.

[clb]

I also have issues with my 2 yr old and scissors. Now when he makes a collage, I only let him cut out 2 pictures. I have an envelope with pictures I think he will like (babies, dogs, cars, etc) and colored circles from a 1" hole punch. He is satisfied selecting from the things I have cut out.
You are brave! We haven't tried glitter yet.
I love playdoh. DS will play happily for a solid hour and it is easy enough to clean up.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I think its partly age-appropriateness in the child and partly parental attitude. For example, I find most A&C stuff really tedious with both my girls. DH, OTOH, who has the patience of a saint with the girls can do pretty much any project with them and be fine.

I do better with concrete tasks, like foam sticker sets or foam assembly projects from Michaels. I will burn in hell environmentally, but they have saved my bacon with DD#1 in particular on many occasions. DH likes to just let them have at it with whatever random craft stuff the girls grab. Frequently, he falls asleep during said projects. This past summer, he let DD#2 paint at her easel in our kitchen/ family room. He said she got really quiet and he fell asleep. Next thing he knew, she was standing beside him, naked. Except for the head to toe paint job she had given herself She looked like she had been dipped in milk chocolate, it was pretty funny. Same thing happened this past weekend. She was coloring, it got quiet, he fell asleep -- lo and behold, there is now a rainbow of (hopefully washable) marker on our family room carpet.

See a pattern here?
:ROTFLMAO: Dude, you've GOT to remember this next time he does something wonky. That is a gooood man who can do crafts with the DC! Wait, since he's drifting off, you think he already knows the self-medicating trick?

Yes, OP, I was pulling my hair OUT while DD was crafting and DS1 scattered all the foam letters and shapes over the dining room for the second time yesterday. It was the first time I thought my angelic boy was truly evil.

[maestramommy]

Okay, maybe this will make it to top threads of 2009, at least on MY list:hysterical:

One of Dh's best friend, who is always giving the girls wonderful Christmas gifts that are too good for us, gave us 2 gifts from Alex. A fun Mosaics kit, and Giant Craft Box, with materials for 16 projects. I'm trying to imagine either girl doing a nice little pattern with sticker mosaics, or a farm collage, and the mind boggles. Someone pass me the vodka.

To the pp, Arwyn is soooooo like what's been described. It doesn't matter what she's doing, she's the queen of entropy. Dr. Destructo, as someone here once said.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I enjoy doing them with him, however I do want a drink when fighting with him over what he thinks he has to keep for a project...they did a recycle art section in school and now dude thinks every old paper, every empty yogurt container, ever cereal box, every smashed sales slip, every broken pen is fodder for some craft or another. But he uses it at a slower speed than he collects it and he wants to keep everything. This contrasts unfavorably with my view of clutter. It's a negative sum game. I want to kick the person who taught recycle art. Hard. Literally 9 out of 10 fusses dude has have something to do with if he is going to be allowed to keep some would be recycling or garbage for the project. It's tiring. And messy. I want a drink just typing about it.

Yes! Same thing here. I am not allowed to recycle certain things because he is saving the item to make something. I have to smuggle things out when he isn't around.

Get your self an art table (a kid sized table or just a folding table you won't care about) and a tarp. Make it a rule that art stuff stays at the table. Then relax. :)

Beth

[egoldber]

I don't do paint. I just don't. My kids are free to use markers, crayons, pencils, glue, and whatever. But no paint. Or glitter. :ROTFLMAO:

We did a snowflake craft kit over the last few days and it had glitter glue in it, which was acceptable. Barely.

[Melaine]

Good night in the morning. My DDs haven't come anywhere close to any kind of scissors, safety or otherwise. I JUST let them try glue sticks recently for the first time. We've never done paint or markers. I definitely need to loosen up so they can experience other artforms besides crayons!!!

[mamicka]

I enjoy doing them with him, however I do want a drink when fighting with him over what he thinks he has to keep for a project...they did a recycle art section in school and now dude thinks every old paper, every empty yogurt container, ever cereal box, every smashed sales slip, every broken pen is fodder for some craft or another. But he uses it at a slower speed than he collects it and he wants to keep everything. This contrasts unfavorably with my view of clutter. It's a negative sum game. I want to kick the person who taught recycle art. Hard. Literally 9 out of 10 fusses dude has have something to do with if he is going to be allowed to keep some would be recycling or garbage for the project. It's tiring. And messy. I want a drink just typing about it.

Same here. I've about given up & 1/2 of our front closet is filled with this stuff. After Christmas, there will be some major ultimatums to get them out of here one way or another.

[maydaymommy]

Just try to keep this mantra in mind:
IT'S THE PROCESS, NOT THE PRODUCT.

I think it would be very frustrating to try to do "craft" type stuff with my ds1, who is a pretty mild child. Even though he's not wild or destructive, there is no way it would turn out the way it is "supposed" to and little chance he would finish anything the way I had intended. With little ones, instead of thinking you're doing some cutesy craft project, readjust the expectations and realize that it's their job right now to be exploring.

Good luck!

[MamaMolly]

Process vs. Product. Process vs. Product. Keep repeating it to yourself. At this age the process of doing the craft is more important than the product, or what the craft looks like at the end. And here I am a certified Pre-K teacher, trained in child development and I have to bite my lips, take deep breaths and remember that it is 'process vs. product' e.v.e.r.y time we do a craft.

deep breaths.

I've also learned that I can set DD up for success or myself up for frustration. Trial and error has taught me a few things. Glitter isn't something we do at this age. Glue has to be monitored 100% of the time and I chant 'a dot is a lot' while she dabs it out. Scissors are for snipping bits of paper, not for actually cutting on a line, though we are slowly approaching getting there. Like we're gettin' ready to get ready ;).

It is very important that have a CLEAR plan for the craft and that I limit what goes into and on a project, that I limit the parts. It doesn't hurt to have a 'sample' for her to follow but often she's not interested which is honestly more appropriate at this age.

We did a collage craft at a Christmas party from Oriental Trading. It was a sticky back circle of card stock and squares of green tissue. DD had a great time sticking down the tissue and lo-and-behold it actually looks like a wreath! Lesson learned: keep it super simple.

The only stuff she has free access to is paper, coloring books (which she ignored until yesterday) crayons and chalk for the easel. Everything else has to have supervision. We learned this the hard way. And everything is trial and error. We tried finger paint at her easel, and the finger paint was in pots. She quickly determined that grabbing a fist full of paint was more fun than dabbing her fingers in. So now we finger paint at the table and I out a spoonfull of each color and let her go at it. Santa will be bringing her squeeze tubes of finger paint, so it might move back to the easel soon. But you don't know how it is going to work best until you try it out.

For cookies, bread and pizza we divide the dough. She gets to play with a tiny handfull and I do my project with the rest. Then when she's all done mauling her portion of the dough I help her roll it or cut it.

Process vs. product, process vs. product. Rinse and repeat.

[caleymama]

Ummm, yes.

Just this morning I let them paint 8.5x11 paper at the newspaper covered dining room table. Not something we do very often around here. It ended with my 5yo in the shower, her pjs in the wash despite having a smock on, and both of them being told they are d.o.n.e. I still have to go clean it up and for now I am pretending it's not there.

They each have their own "art boxes" which are Caboodles makeup organizers with their regular art supplies. Stickers, crayons, markers, glue sticks, kid scissors, pencils/pens, etc. Those plus their paper shelf stocked with different sizes of white paper, lined paper, construction paper, and blank greeting cards suffice for most of the projects they do independently. All the other stuff - foamies, mosaics, paint, and so on - I have to get out for them and it's usually a joint or at least supervised venture.

ETA: They are always "crafting" but organized crafts are tricky and often frustrating, even at 7 and 5. The free form stuff is so much more fun for all of us.

[maydaymommy]

Process vs. Product. Process vs. Product. Keep repeating it to yourself.

Molly, we were posting the same thing at the same time. Great minds....

[jse107]

Totally. I love that DCs both get excited about doing art projects, but the mess factor is hard for me to deal with.

Beth, we did that same snowflake project this past weekend. I bought extra foam stickers to use with it, just so I could avoid some of the glitter mess!

I'm a terrible parent! (Kidding. I think.)

[jerigirl]

This is why I pay good money to do art at Gymboree and at preschool! So the mess isn't at my house and the battle is left at school. The running joke with DH while we were doing Gymboree art classes was he was glad we were paying $200+ for mommy to take an art class!! DS only dabbled a bit and then I would "help" him finish the projects. Now that DS is in preschool 3 days a week, and brings home a finished project every day, we don't do much at home anymore.

[egoldber]

Beth, we did that same snowflake project this past weekend. I bought extra foam stickers to use with it, just so I could avoid some of the glitter mess!

LOL! I also encouraged the kids to use markers instead of the glitter glue which they thought was a great idea. ;)

[kransden]

As for 'will they grow out of this stage?' I'll be totally honest. From my observations teaching art - 90% will. The other 10% is a big no, but typically they love building/destroying. 'Godzilla terrorizes the town, knocking down buildings with his mighty tail!" They usually are funny and creative.

I love crafts, but dd is very good with them. All the other moms hate me, but I figure, do them at my house so you don't have to!

[belovedgandp]

When my oldest was less than 9 months old I met a women who made the statement, "I don't allow paint or play-dough in my house. That's why I send my kids to pre-school." At the time I thought it was pretty harsh, but now with 2 kids, 6 and 2 1/2, I get the sentiment.

I do better with keeping the messy projects outside for my own sanity. Otherwise, I've let go a lot and let them have at it.

We take lots of pictures of projects and make photobooks of them, so I can get them out of my house. Otherwise, I think it would explode.

[elliput]

I don't do paint. I just don't. My kids are free to use markers, crayons, pencils, glue, and whatever. But no paint. Or glitter. :ROTFLMAO:.

I'm just the opposite. I prefer to have DD do watercolors, but only at the kitchen table and as soon as she walks away she's done. Mostly the reason I like her to use paints is that she can't gross grasp the paint brush so she gets some good fine motor therapy. And yeah, no glitter.

[frgsnlzrds]

Thank you for posting this. I thought I was just a bad mom! Last night I was making paper loops with the two little ones to decorate the tree. I thought it would be fun. I remember making them as a kid. How hard could it be? Glue everywhere. Paper crumpled. Tears over whose was longer. So not worth it.

[crl]

Well at 2 it took me longer to set up the supplies than DS ever spent actually doing anything with them. We only did stuff on the kitchen floor to save my sanity. Everything in there could just be wiped down. Mostly the floor got painted along with the paper.

Now at 6.5 he has complete access to markers, pens, pencils, crayons, scissors and glue stick. It's kind of amazing that he can be trusted with all that, but it's been fine. Knock on wood. It does all have to stay on the tile floor because he still occasionally overshoots on the paper and gets some marker on the surface he's working on. And he does still write on himself sometimes, but I don't care.

And this Christmas is the first time I've ever expected a product of any kind. I bought canvas tote bags and paint at the craft store and made star shaped stamps out of potatoes. The tote bags will be our wrapping paper for books for 6 members of my family. Since there were multiple colors of paint, it was a multiple step project. I did desparately want wine a few times during this project because he was complaining incessantly about spending 10 minutes working on it. . . . Not sure I'll repeat this venture unless he asks to. (And I thought I was being so clever: environmentally friendly, teaching about giving gifts, etc, etc.)

Catherine

[brittone2]

Mine have pretty free access to the stuff I can tolerate cleaning up (with them). Certain things I need to be in the mood for. I also try to set us all up for success so I don't lose my mind. We have an indoor wooden easel, but then we have an outdoor Step 2 or Little Tykes plastic easel that was $5 at a yard sale. I have them paint outside on the plastic easel 90% of the time if they want to paint because it is just easier for me to handle.

DS is in a phase of making all sorts of detailed paper airplanes. He has gotten a few books out of the library so he's forever trying out new designs, etc. Right now we have about 17,000 paper airplanes floating around here. But at least the process isn't messy ;)

I try to say yes when I can, but sometimes that means modifying the medium or location so that cleanup is more tolerable and in the range of what I can handle on a given day. Sometimes it has to wait until DH is home and I have extra hands. And sometimes I just can't handle it and I say no.

[alexsmommy]

Haven't read the respones but the title made me LOL.

Not so much now that he's older and can do a lot for himself, but b/w ages 3-5 - often, yes!

[dcmom2b3]

Um, why yes. How else would mommy have gotten glitter on her highball glass? j/k



Next thing he knew, she was standing beside him, naked. Except for the head to toe paint job she had given herself She looked like she had been dipped in milk chocolate, it was pretty funny.

:ROTFLMAO: That's hysterical, Melissa! At least she didn't roll around on the furniture . . .

[gatorsmom]

Absolutely. I used to avoid art projects with the kids because they always ended up messy and so did my house. Also, the kids never did what i wanted them to.

I now enjoy it because I've figured out a couple things to make it fun for everyone.

1) don't go in with any expectations. If they eat the raisins rather than paste them as eyes on the snowman and just prefer to scribble witha a blue marker all over the snowman, so be it. No expectations so no disappointments.

2) Give them only a small bit of cookie sprinkles/glitter/cookie dough/crayons/markers so that if they decide it all needs to be airborne it only takes a second to clean it all up.

3) Messy art projects require being strapped into the highchair until they are old enough to know better. When they want out of their chair, fine, but the art project then gets cleaned up.

A few days ago i was making cut-out Christmas cookies with sprinkles. It's a family tradition and the boys really wanted to help. In years past I would tense up and my eye would start to twitch as they rolled out the dough and dropped it on the floor then licked their fingers and added way too many sprinkles. For the past 2 years, however, I wised up and gave them each their own glob of dough to do what they wanted with. Cha cha rolled his out flat then completely covered it with sprinkles so that no dough showed. Then he left it to play with something else. Gator added so much flour and rolled it out so many times is got crumbly and dry. He said it tasted better like that and ate it. Neither of them produced a completed cookie. But they both had fun so I considered it a successful venture.

It does get better. 2yo is a hard age for art projects. Or anything, really.