Working from home full time with 4 month old?

[joules]

Hello,

My due date is in March. My original plan was for DH and I to take our leaves from work separately. I would take my leave (up until end of July) and then he would take his. Then we would put our baby in some sort of day care program. I really want to hold off on day care for as long as possible. Well we just found out that since DH has been at his company for less than a year, he only gets 5 days off.

My boss is very flexible/understanding and luckily I am able to work from home if I need to. Am I crazy for thinking that when my leave is up (end of July), that I can work from home AND take care of the baby? My work is sort of flexible too. If I have to, I can work 4 hours during the day and then another 4 hours after DH gets home from work. I'm a web-developer...as long as I get my projects done in time it doesn't really matter if a put in full 8 hour work day everyday.

I have no experience with babies (this is our first). How much work is a 4 month old? Is this possible to do? If this isn't possible we would put our baby in day care at the end of July. Ideally, I really would like to hold off on day care for as long as possible. Help! I'm clueless!!! haha.

[twowhat?]

Full-time? I say no way!!! I had a friend who worked part-time (25 hrs/week) with a 4-month-old, also working a very flexible schedule, and while it was do-able, it was HARD. You will also have NO time to yourself, on top of getting NO sleep. If it were me, I'd go crazy.

You can certainly try. Maybe you will be lucky and have a baby who rarely fusses.

[Melanie]

I would think at that age it is, but once they start to sleep less and be more mobile you'll need a mother's helper/relative so you can work. I've had friends pull it off beyond that stage, but IMHO, to the detriment of the child (lots and lots of TV or tears not understanding why mommy is *right there* but won't help). Also, in regards to the mommy's helper or relative coming later on in months, I would think it'd be hard if the little one can see/understand you are right there, but if you have somewhere somewhat separate you can go and not be seen/heard it's better. JMHO.

I think it would be hard but I totally understand the desire. If you have funds for a sitter, though, it would be easier, yet still keeping baby out of daycare longer.

[Katigre]

No, it won't be possible.

A good option though would be to hire someone to nanny the baby in your home while you work - that way you could nurse them and do some childcare but would be free to concentrate on your work as needed.

[joules]

Thanks for your honesty everyone!!

I never thought about the baby seeing me but me not being able to interact with him thing. Good point! I'll have to look into the nanny option too. My parents are still working and DH's mom is retired...but not good with babies (she won't be able to babysit full time)....so there won't be any relatives helping out.

This whole baby thing is a bit daunting. Thank goodness for this message board!!

[rgors]

I think it would be impossible to work FT from home while simultaneously caring for a baby of any age, really.

[citymama]

If you have any phone calls at all to make for work, it's very hard. I tried working PT at home with a baby and found it near impossible.

[pastrygirl]

I wouldn't be able to do it, and I'm somewhat of a web developer, too. My babies have both been high-needs, nursing every hour, not sleeping too well at night, etc. By the time my husband gets home I just want to sleep, not work, LOL!

Before I had my first, I thought I'd be able to continue working from home (technical writing), but it was clear after the first two weeks that it would be impossible. Maybe if I hired someone, but that doesn't help with the constant nursing and being deliriously exhausted from lack of sleep.

[mikeys_mom]

I have a friend that works from home sometimes. In order to ensure that her kids do not get upset that she is there but unavailable she gets ready as if she is going to work. She has a nanny who takes the kids to a different part of the house and then she comes back inside without them seeing her. She will then spend the time she is working in her office in the basement. Not sure how long she can keep it up because her 5 year old has recently started to question the fact that the car is in the driveway while Mommy is at work.

[Reyadawnbringer]

I know I am super late to this, but I just wanted to say that I DID work from home full time as a document control manager starting when DS was 2 weeks old. It was EXTREMELY difficult, but if you make a plan and are able to be VERY flexible with work, then it can happen. I am not sure about doing when DC is older though- I left that job a few months later (DS was 2 months old when I quit) because we moved.

Good luck with your decision.

[crazye]

I think it would be most doable but also most exhausting from 0-6 months simply b/c they can be worn, they're not mobile enough to be getting into anything, the sleep longer parts of the day, etc. Now with a 2.5 year old I try to do the majority of my important phone calls and stuff when she's napping or reserve them for one chunk of morning time when I bring out the "working toys box" (special toys that she only get shwne I have really critical stuff that I have to get done. And my DD is fairly easy-going...she just likes to be part of the phone call which doesn't always work. If I tried to work full time from home with DD there I'd be one to try and hire a mother's helper.

[ThreeofUs]

Hmmm.... I worked from home with DS1 for about 30 hours/week. While I'm sure it's possible to work f/t, I think I would have needed some help with the baby to make it happen.

GL!

[wellyes]

If you get a nanny it's FANTASTIC. You can concentrate on work but BF the baby all day and get snuggles whenever you want.

I tried worknig from home 4 hours a week with a toddler and found that I am a crappy mom those hours, it didn't work until I brought in a helper.

[smiles33]

I think it depends on both the type of work you do and your LO's temperament. I work from home 1 day/week, but my job is 95% e-mail and drafting/editing documents. I rarely make calls or get called, which means I can handle those calls when DD2 is sleeping. Also, DD2 is very mellow, so she will happily sit on my lap and watch me type. When she gets antsy, I put her on her activity mat next to me with a bunch of toys. I can also type one-handed pretty well if I'm nursing her. Yet, she's not yet crawling so I think that's a game-changer.

Still, I work from home on the same day that DH does not work (he has a 4 day/week schedule), so he's my back-up if I need to make an urgent call. Plus, as she gets older he will need to entertain her. I also make him do all the diaper changes. :D

[BigDog]

I'm late to this discussion but wanted to provide some feedback as I work from home full time. I will tell you this, it's not easy. My DS has gone to a home daycare since he was 4mo old (he's now 2.5). He goes there in the morning and then I pick him up around 1pm. He comes home and I put him down for his afternoon nap which will last anywhere from 3:30 to 5... except for those days when he fights the nap and winds up not napping, which really screws me getting my work done. And forget about the days when I have to keep him home due to illness, etc. I can't get anything done and feel like I'm being pulled in every direction - It makes me feel terrible since I can't always fully devote my attention to my DS. It's really stressful. The way I see it is my most important job is to be a mother, so usually my work suffers, (which I don't really care), but I realize I do have to be accountable since they're paying me to do a job. I find myself becoming annoyed whenever my work phone rings or an email pops up requiring some action by me. It's a tough situation to be able to juggle, and I've tried. With DC2 on the way, I'm not sure how long I can keep this up, but I also don't want to give up a job where I work from home.

Sorry I couldn't offer a more positive outlook, but good luck with your decision!

[joules]

Thanks for all the replies!!

Like smiles33, I rarely need to be on the phone for work. The emails and IMs from work are a different story. haha. Some days, they probably wouldn't even notice if I wasn't online or working. But other days I'm swamped with emails and IMs I need to return immediately.

For now, I'll plan for the worst case - not being able to work from home at all. After the baby comes, maybe around the 3 month mark, I can judge better how feasible working from home is. Or maybe do some kind of hybrid - like work from home (with or without a nanny?) only a few days a week but go into the office the other days and bring the baby to daycare.

Keep the replies coming! They are very helpful!!

[bigpassport]

If FT means 4 hours while DH is out of the house and 4 hours while DH is watching LO AND your LO is a GREAT sleeper, you might be able to do it. Many days my DS will take a two hour nap in the morning and a two hour nap in the afternoon, so on those days I can get in 4 hours of work. But I have to go into my home office the second I put him down and work straight until he wakes up. No showering, eating, etc. while he is napping because that is valuable work time. If his naps are shorter, then my work time is shorter. I tried for awhile to work with him playing at my feet, but with my work I couldn't switch focus from second to second to watch him. And, of course, it will all depend on what kind of sleeper you have. If your LO sleeps through the night early (so you can get some good rest) and takes regular and long naps, you might be able to do it.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Full-time? I say no way!!! I had a friend who worked part-time (25 hrs/week) with a 4-month-old, also working a very flexible schedule, and while it was do-able, it was HARD. You will also have NO time to yourself, on top of getting NO sleep. If it were me, I'd go crazy.

You can certainly try. Maybe you will be lucky and have a baby who rarely fusses.

i agree, NO WAY. unless maybe u enjoy sleep deprivation, don't mind going for days without showering, and are willing to have NO personal time AT ALL with your DH. i have a 2 month old who is an EXTREMELY easy baby (who's already sleeping 6-7 hrs at stretch at night, does not have colic or any other issues) and there's no way i could be working full time right now and taking care of him at the same time. part-time yes, full-time (as in 40hrs/week), no way.

granted, 4 month olds probably can sleep for longer stretches but then at the same time, they are more active and aware and will want to play a lot during the day. also they will be eating more too, so if you are planning on breastfeeding that is a consideration. i'm breastfeeding now and let me tell u that u need to set aside extra time in your day to eat, as u will have to will have to eat a lot to keep up milk production, etc.

to give u perspective, my DH works from home full-time, and i am currently a stay-at-home mom. DH rarely has to be on the phone or do net meetings, his job is all done on computer. yet my DH can barely get enough work done as it is, and i'm there taking care of DS the entire time! the thing is, DH is still exhausted from helping me caring for DS in the evenings, weekends and in the middle of the night and plus taking care of a lot of the errands (grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking etc). sometimes we have a bad night and DS is up for a couple hours at 2am. It's already a struggle to do work with someone there doing most of the work during the day, imagine how it will be like having to handle it all on your own.

also, the fact that your DH can only take a few days off and you have no family to help out, you will probably be still exhausted after 3 months of just caring for the baby by yourself. my DH took THREE WEEKS off after DS was born and it was still rough. we have no family in the area either so i know what its' like.

i think the only way u could do is if you hired a nanny or had a relative come over to care for the baby at least 20 hrs/per week. even then it would be hard i think. if u really don't want your baby to go to daycare, i would just hire a nanny.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I would think at that age it is, but once they start to sleep less and be more mobile you'll need a mother's helper/relative so you can work. I've had friends pull it off beyond that stage, but IMHO, to the detriment of the child (lots and lots of TV or tears not understanding why mommy is *right there* but won't help). Also, in regards to the mommy's helper or relative coming later on in months, I would think it'd be hard if the little one can see/understand you are right there, but if you have somewhere somewhat separate you can go and not be seen/heard it's better. JMHO.

I think it would be hard but I totally understand the desire. If you have funds for a sitter, though, it would be easier, yet still keeping baby out of daycare longer.

this is a good point, since DH works from home DH & I realize that we will have to deal with this in a few months, as soon when DS starts to crawl and then walk he will wonder why he can't go play with Daddy even though he is right there (DH's home office is on first floor, same floor as DS's room, play room etc, plus has French doors so u can see right through). we are thinking of putting a thick sheet over the door but i think DS will still figure it out..plus will eventually see DH when he has to leave his office to use restroom or to have lunch or something.

and i totally understand the desire..believe me, 2 months ago i would have maybe considered the same thing. i too was "clueless" about babies as i had never really taken care of babies before. well all i can say is i had totally underestimated how much work it is to take care of a baby, how much sleep deprivation i had to endure, how little time i had to myself, etc. and like i said before, i had an easy, healthy baby.