What are some good ?s to ask mom (& dad)

[ourbabygirl]

Other than the financial things (like do they have their estate & such in order) and health questions (history of ____ disease/ _____ cancer in the family)?
I was listening to a radio show tonight about menopause and thought I'd like to ask my mom when she went through it, if it's safe to assume I might go through it around the same age.
My parents are in good health and in their early 60's, so I (hopefully) don't need to think about the 'serious' stuff quite yet, but I do want to have some of these conversations with them before it's too late.
What are some other questions you've asked your parents, or would like to have asked them, before they die(d)? I apologize if this topic touches a nerve, I just thought some of you might be able to provide some helpful ideas. :)

Thanks!

[HIU8]

Well, my sibs and I have been on my dad about changing his will. He and my mom got divorced 5 yrs ago. He has never changed his will. I have also asked both my parents about their wishes concerning a living will. I know how my mother feels and know what I will do to respect her wishes when the time comes. My father refuses to tell me though--knowing that I will end up being the primary caregiver/person who will be responsible for his health and well-being. I have also had extensive conversations with my mother about her belongings. I have keys to different places etc.. with important documents (this is b/c of things that have happened with my uncle when my grandmother died). My father prefers to let us figure stuff out after he is gone (although at this rate his current girlfriend will suck all his assets dry and there will be NOTHING left).

[MamaMolly]

My mom made a living will and I'm the one in charge of it. Just in case you know, and she has the peace of mind knowing I'll comply with her wishes. DH and I also know who is the executor of his father's estate should anything happen (he chose SIL which we think is a stupid move but agree it is his decision to make).

I think it is ok to ask the hard questions. It is a good idea to do it sooner rather than later. You might find it brings you closer to your parents. :)

[infomama]

I have hundreds I want to ask my Mom. I got most of them from genealogy websites that have 'family interview' questions available (just Google 'family history interview questions'.) Just pick and choose what suits/applies to your family. I plan on giving her the interview questions, taking her replies and turning them into a book (with pictures)...it will be a wonderful piece of family history.

We have all the other stuff in place (wills, last wishes...etc). I wish I would have done this (asked these kinds of questions) when my Dad was still alive.

[Kestrel]

Don't forget history! I love my mother's stories about how her high school wouldn't let her take advanced math and science because she was a girl, or wearing pants to school because it was snowing, but having to change into a skirt before going to class... it really makes you apprecieate they modern to hear these kind of stories!

[megs4413]

find out if they've pre-planned anything. we buried my FIL at the end of october and it was a nightmare...he hadnt done anything, he also hadn't made sure he had enough life insurance...ask those tough questions!!! we all want to avoid it, but eventually it becomes unavoidable.

[inmypjs]

My mother is in her early 60s and was diagnosed with cancer 3 weeks ago. It was a total shock to all of us. I am currently at my parents' home helping to care for her in her final days. She will probably go within the next week. I'm not saying this to move the discussion to my situation - I just wanted you to know that I might be able to offer a perspective on this, as someone who is losing their parent without much warning and without time to ask such things.

What I wish I could have done with my mom is:

- Video tape her answers to questions like "Tell me about how you and Dad met", "What is your favorite childhood memory" etc. Video taping her telling ANY family stories.
- Make audio CDs of her reading books so my kids (and I) can listen to them and have them for years to come.
- Learn about and write down information about treasured family possessions or heirlooms that were passed to her.
- Have her designate something of hers for each of my children to receive on their birthdays from her after she is gone - she spoke to me about doing this when she first got her diagnosis but she just wasn't well enough to do it.

The most important thing is that whatever you want to do - DON'T WAIT. It's easy to think that there will always be more time - that's what I always thought. But sometimes there isn't.