boolady
01-04-2010, 03:45 PM
I promise this isn't one of those optimistic NY posts about weight loss. I need to lose weight. At this point, a lot of weight. Like 80 lbs., I'm mortified to say, and I'm scared to death that I won't be able to do it, so I'm hoping that since this board has been such a great source of information and encouragement for me in the past, it will be okay if I post down here with you runners and people who seem far more put together than I feel at the present moment when I need to.
I would say that I don't exactly know how things got this way, but I do. I am an emotional eater and have a job that is largely sedentary. Add that to a 40-minute each way commute and a DH who gets home pretty late many nights per week, and I have gone from being okay/borderline overweight to very overweight. Don't get me wrong...those are not excuses, I know that. I have been feeling very stressed for the last few years and, as I said, am, without question, an emotional eater. Since DD was born (and, if I'm being honest with myself, even before) I have been putting myself dead last and it can't continue to happen.
My DH is great, and says he loves me no matter what, and I am actually lucky because I believe him. He does not think he's a great looking guy (even though he is:)) and has always seen the best in people, both inside and out. That said, while he loves me the way I look now, I don't. I feel like I have been caught in this vicious cycle where I am exhausted and stressed and overeat or eat takeout to just quickly get something to eat, feel like cr*p about it later, hate the way I look, feel stressed and depressed over the way I look, and the circle goes around and around.
While DH is great and very supportive of me, he can't exactly understand how I feel because he has a very quick metabolism, is on his feet at work all day long, is an emotional non-eater, and wouldn't chose a carb over a vegetable if his life depended on it. And I don't feel like I am being the best wife or mom I can be because I feel so badly about myself, don't want to embarass DH, don't want to embarass DD, and DD is a very healthy eater and very healthy little girl. I don't want her following in my footsteps, and I want to be around to take care of her for as long as I can.
So, now that I'm crying, :) I just need a place to talk to others who have struggled with their weight from time to time, and have also maybe struggled with making taking care of themselves important. I don't have any unrealistic goals or expectations...I would love to lose a pound or two a week and just become healthier by eating correctly and not overeating, and by slowly working some moderate exercise back into my life. I am not the most active poster on BBB, but hope that you won't mind if I need to vent or ask some questions of all of you fit mamas from time to time.
I would say that I don't exactly know how things got this way, but I do. I am an emotional eater and have a job that is largely sedentary. Add that to a 40-minute each way commute and a DH who gets home pretty late many nights per week, and I have gone from being okay/borderline overweight to very overweight. Don't get me wrong...those are not excuses, I know that. I have been feeling very stressed for the last few years and, as I said, am, without question, an emotional eater. Since DD was born (and, if I'm being honest with myself, even before) I have been putting myself dead last and it can't continue to happen.
My DH is great, and says he loves me no matter what, and I am actually lucky because I believe him. He does not think he's a great looking guy (even though he is:)) and has always seen the best in people, both inside and out. That said, while he loves me the way I look now, I don't. I feel like I have been caught in this vicious cycle where I am exhausted and stressed and overeat or eat takeout to just quickly get something to eat, feel like cr*p about it later, hate the way I look, feel stressed and depressed over the way I look, and the circle goes around and around.
While DH is great and very supportive of me, he can't exactly understand how I feel because he has a very quick metabolism, is on his feet at work all day long, is an emotional non-eater, and wouldn't chose a carb over a vegetable if his life depended on it. And I don't feel like I am being the best wife or mom I can be because I feel so badly about myself, don't want to embarass DH, don't want to embarass DD, and DD is a very healthy eater and very healthy little girl. I don't want her following in my footsteps, and I want to be around to take care of her for as long as I can.
So, now that I'm crying, :) I just need a place to talk to others who have struggled with their weight from time to time, and have also maybe struggled with making taking care of themselves important. I don't have any unrealistic goals or expectations...I would love to lose a pound or two a week and just become healthier by eating correctly and not overeating, and by slowly working some moderate exercise back into my life. I am not the most active poster on BBB, but hope that you won't mind if I need to vent or ask some questions of all of you fit mamas from time to time.