When to start discouraging thumb sucking?

[elektra]

What is the thinking these days on when you should start discouraging your kids from sucking their thumbs?
DD sucked her thumb but stopped on her own before she was a year old. DS now is an avid thumb sucker which I actually love at the moment because he can soothe himself easily and I don't have to worry about a paci falling out. But when should you making rules like "only sucking your thumb in your room" or other rules?
I know I have a long time before it becomes an issue with DS, but after our niece was over here a few days ago, and still sucking her thumb quite a bit at over 3yo, it got me wondering whether or not 3 was getting to be a bit too old for that.

[citymama]

This laissez-faire mama says: don't discourage it! Especially not at this age. What wouldn't I give for DD to be a better self-soother. If your 7 month old DS is pacifying himself, let him. If it's a problem when he's older and able to understand rules, deal with it then. My nephew was an avid thumb-sucker, but dropped the habit by around 2.5 - except at bedtime, which IMO is perfectly appropriate.

That's my 2 cents!

[WatchingThemGrow]

DD did it one day and dropped it. DS1 on the other hand is addicted. I think it started in the crib and he associated with his sleepsack. He would hold the zipper with one hand and suck the other thumb. So, ever since he could crawl, he'd locate a zipper and snuggle up to it while sucking his thumb. He'd find zippers on: pillows, couch cushions, the futon edge, jackets on the coat rack, my purse, the car upholstery, wherever... kinda freaky.

Our pediatric dentist didn't give me an age that I can remember, but she keeps saying to get it out of his mouth. We try to no avail. We changed his sleepsack to a grobag with a side zipper, but he still sucks it in bed.

Today he wore a sweater with a half-zip neck. Found him 4 times this morning curled up holding onto the zipper, sucking. When I went to change his diaper, I unzipped it, which broke the behavior for the time being. He started saying, "Oh no. I broke the zipper. I broke the zipper. Help fix it. Help fix it!!!" I didn't zip it back up and he stopped sucking. Isn't that weird???

DS2 is sucking away, not taking a pacifier either. So annoying since I know what DS1's teeth look like after 2 years on the thumb. Argh.

Although I don't have an answer for you, I'd love to hear how some stopped the behavior at whatever age.

[egoldber]

Sarah was an avid thumbsucker. She gradually stopped on her own at age 7. I wouldn't do anything differently. It's a self soothing and stress relieving behavior. By telling them to stop, you actually create more stress.

Also, be aware that if they stop thumbsucking, they may replace it with another self soothing behavior that is even less attractive. She now chews on her fingers. Sometimes I still wish she sucked her thumb.

[Cam&Clay]

I know that people say to just leave them alone, but as a teacher who has seen 9 year olds, and even up to 11 year olds, sucking their thumbs at school, I just want to warn you that once it gets past a certain point, other kids will make fun of the thumb sucker. That is, if they do it in school. I know of one child who takes the teasing and just keeps on sucking. She cannot stop and will be heading to middle school next year. The parents have chosen not to interfere.

Having said that, most kids do seem to drop it on their own before kindergarten.

[kcandz]

It's a self soothing and stress relieving behavior. By telling them to stop, you actually create more stress.

Also, be aware that if they stop thumbsucking, they may replace it with another self soothing behavior that is even less attractive. She now chews on her fingers. Sometimes I still wish she sucked her thumb.


this. Mine chews on clothing sleeves, etc. It is a soothing behavior for anxiety. Thumb sucking is very rare now and DC is 6. The dentist has seen no problems, FWIW.

[jayali]

I sucked my thumb until I was 40 and wore braces for the second time! Matthew sucks his thumb and we have tried to discourage it to no avail. He will be six in May. I don't think he does it in school - I am not sure, but the teachers did not mention it at parent teacher conferences. His bite is already ruined - he will absolutely wear braces. It is definitely a soothing thing with him as it was with me. I am hoping that he drops it on his own. I remember my family tried everything to get me to stop and I didn't. Paying for a second set of braces is what made me finally kick the habit.

Wish I had some advice for you, but I don't. My only comment is don't be so sure that he will drop it on his own. I do agree with previous posts that he is way too young, right now, to discourage.

[KpbS]

DS1 definitely uses it to console him self and calm down when very upset. Aside from those moments, we have recently talked about just sucking it at bedtime and/ at home. He has needed it way less going from age 3.5 to 4.5 and now 5. I know it is a common behavior, but I don't want other kids making fun of him.

[elephantmeg]

I did until 11-and then only stopped because I somehow left my blankie when we were evacuated and it wasn't the same without it. It was very hard learning to sleep without it and now I can't immagine that I ever sucked my thumb. Interestingly enough neither of my kids ever sucked their thumb (nor took a passi past a few months old.)

[scrooks]

My DD is a thumb sucker and the dentist told us to try and stop it now (she is 2.5). On her own, it seems she does it less and less and mostly just sucks her thumb when falling asleep or when she is upset. I honestly have no problem with it and am not too worried about it yet. DS is starting to suck on his fingers and thumb...we'll see what happens.

For what it's worth neither of my children have been pacifier fans and DD has always been a great sleeper - I think the self soothing of the thumb has helped.

[shishamo]

My third child who is 5 sucks her thumb a lot, including times like story time at preschool, in the car, when she is bored, etc. She is also hands down the best sleeper. She is also just the most easy-going child that I have- not high-strung, like the other two. I do think having a blankie and her thumb helped with that.

I do worry about braces but my older two needs braces for sure (one has it, the other just had a consultation) so I sort of think it is inevitable that she will need it anyway. It is kind of funny, though, because my third child has the straightest teeth of all my children so far, despite all that sucking.

[MMMommy]

DD1 was a long time thumb sucker. She turns 6 in January. About 6 months ago, we decided that we really needed to get her to stop. So we started using this treatment to cure her thumb sucking-

http://www.folica.com/MAVALA_Stop_for_d442.html

She has completely stopped sucking her thumb, but now her new bad habit is biting her nails! The same treatment can be used for the nail biting, and we are working on that now.

[pinkmomagain]

Also, be aware that if they stop thumbsucking, they may replace it with another self soothing behavior that is even less attractive. She now chews on her fingers. Sometimes I still wish she sucked her thumb.

Having experience with this issue, I second this thought. Leave it alone....until dc is ready to enter middle school!

[michellerw]

I sucked my thumb until I was 15. I wore braces because of a malocclusion, but not because of my thumbsucking. In fact, my dentist and ortho were both very clear that my thumbsucking had nothing to do with my need for braces. My molars didn't touch at the back on one side AT ALL.

Neither my brother nor I sucked our thumbs in public past the age of about three.

I don't really see a big deal. It's self-soothing behavior. After about five or so, it wasn't voluntary -- it was more that I would wake up with my thumb in my mouth.

I eventually stopped with the help of a dental appliance while wearing braces, only because the ortho didn't want my teeth to shift from the sucking while the braces were moving my teeth around.

[KrisM]

DS1 sucks his fingers still at almost 6. He doesn't do it in public or school. I've been in his room at school and he's not done it and his teacher hasn't mentioned it. We've tried discouraging it, but it doesn't work. He already bites his finger nails :(.

[Roleysmom]

Sarah was an avid thumbsucker. She gradually stopped on her own at age 7. I wouldn't do anything differently. It's a self soothing and stress relieving behavior. By telling them to stop, you actually create more stress.


DD also sucked her fingers until 6. When she was in preprimary kids did start to say something. The teacher would intervene. She started doing it less and less in public and eventually stopped. Sometimes when she's asleep she'll still suck them.

I agree with Beth that you create more stress by actively trying to stop it. I also agree with Michellerw that I don't think it's that big of a deal. It may be unseemly and embarrassing to us, but I think you encourage more trouble by trying to stop it than letting it run its course.

[ett]

DS2 is almost 3 and still sucks his thumb. The dentist told us not to worry about it until their permanent teeth start to come in. DS2 mainly does it when he's sleeping and when he snuggles w/me when we read books. He'll sometimes suck his thumb for comfort when I'm holding him.

[elektra]

Also, be aware that if they stop thumbsucking, they may replace it with another self soothing behavior that is even less attractive. She now chews on her fingers.

Well this is what happened with me. I can't remember how old I was when I finally stopped sucking my thumb but I remember it was very hard for me to stop. I still to this day have not been able to stop biting and picking at my fingernails and cuticles.

I am not worried about DS at all (yet). Having him stop was not on my mind at all until I saw DN, and I started wondering what the thinking was about how/when/if you should encourage them to stop.

Thanks for all the replies!

[LexyLou]

DD1 is 4 and is a MAJOR thumbsucker. People are trying to get me to get her to stop, but #1 how the heck am I supposed to do that? and #2 why should she stop?

My only major concerns are that she does have speech issues-specifically a lisp. She's also pulled her front teeth out, so she's got buck teeth. I mean she's definitely going to need braces and the damage is done. I've tried gently talking to her about it but she's a very emotional kid and really needs the soothing.

I'm kind of confused as to what I should be doing at this point with it.

[mommylamb]

FWIW, I was a long time thumbsucker (I mean really long). I stopped sucking it during the day around age 5, but I'm pretty sure I was sucking it while I slept until about age 8 or 9. And, I never needed braces.

DS is also a thumb sucker. He's 2.5 now. I don't have the heart to try and make him stop.

[AnnieW625]

Honestly if it's that or the pacifier I much rather deal with the thumb sucking. I sucked my thumb at night until I was 8 or 9 years old. My brother and sister also did it. Out of the three I was the only who needed braces (both of my parents had them). DH gets a little retarded when he sees DD with her thumb in her mouth, which isn't that often at all (and since we don't co sleep I don't know if she does it at night or not, but she doesn't do it when we check on her before bed). Both DH and I had braces and I can already tell that DD might need them too and it doesn't bother me, but I am a weirdo and don't have problems spending money on teeth.

[maestramommy]

Arwyn is an avid thumbsucker. she started at 3 months. At first it was only when she was falling asleep, but around 18 months it revved up, and became associated with her lovey. She only has to touch her lovey and the thumb goes in. Since she takes her lovey in the car, and carries it around the house, she sucks her thumb a lot. I don't know what I will do about it, but Dh and I both have cousins that sucked the thumb for YEARS.

Having said that sometimes I wish Dora sucked her thumb. Instead she chews and sucks on her lovey. So GROSS. Maybe I should introduce her to gum. When she gets upset or sometimes at pickup she actually says, "I need to chew on something."

[smilequeen]

Unless it's causing changes in the bone structure, I wouldn't worry about it until your child is getting permanent teeth. Most kids stop before that.

[inmypjs]

My DS is 5 and he still sucks his thumb. At his 5 year check up, our pediatrician noticed it and very gently suggested that he stop doing it during the day. She just explained that it would be much better for his teeth and how they grew if he didn't do it as much. He was quite receptive to what she said and said he would try. Since then I haven't seen him suck much during the day, but he still does some at night. She told me it isn't a big deal until permanent teeth start to come in.