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View Full Version : Hunger vs. needing comfort for night wakings?



solomonson6910
01-05-2010, 07:12 PM
My son is now almost 16 weeks old. He's generally a good napper, 3 2h naps a day and goes down around 8:30 at night. At 12 weeks, he finally started sleeping more than 2-3 hours at a time at night, going anywhere from a 5h stretch to 12, averaging about 7-8 hours before waking to eat and going back down right away. I was so relieved to finally get some sleep that I didn't pump at night.

All he had ever needed to get to sleep was a paci, then he would spit it out himself after about 10-15 minutes, so I know he didn't need it to stay asleep. Now he's learned to suck his thumb, so I don't even need the paci.

For the past 3 nights he's woken up again twice a night. I nurse him, then he goes back down immediately. My question is how do I know if he's actually hungry vs. just wanting to be held? This is complicated by the fact that he has been a bit fussier during the day for the past couple of weeks. At first I wondered if it was a growth spurt, but it's still going on and he's waking up more. I'm wondering if my supply has taken a hit since I didn't pump at night for about 3 weeks. I've been working on getting my supply back up, but last night I offered him a small 2 oz bottle after nursing and he refused it both times. He's also been crying some while nursing, both day and night, and acting a bit resistant, but not every time. He BFs about 5 times during the day.

His naps have been a little inconsistent since the weekend, some because I kept him up too long (I typically don't let him stay awake for longer than 90 minutes at a time), and some was just bizarre behavior. For instance, for his 2nd nap today, I put him down and he started screaming, which is really unusual. I let him cry for 15 minutes to see if he'd calm down and he didn't, so I held him and rocked him. He still screamed, so I nursed him on one side only and he went down. His 1st and 3rd nap (so far) have been fine.

I don't swaddle because he's hated it and screamed (once he's swaddled) since 3 weeks. I tried the 1 oz of water/diluted formula trick (though not for a few weeks since he started sleeping) and that just made him really mad. I've been letting him tough it out at night for 10 or so minutes to give him the chance to fall asleep, but I'm so tired that I then give in once I can hear him without the monitor (he has always slept in his own room). Occasionally he can, but that is rare. I also "tank him up" before he goes to sleep by giving him a 4 oz bottle of formula after nursing. He is also a BIG boy, over 95th percentile for weight and in 95th for height (he was 15 lbs 9 oz at 8 weeks and 9 lbs at birth). He's on Zantac for reflux.

I would appreciate any insight.

Katigre
01-05-2010, 07:30 PM
For the past 3 nights he's woken up again twice a night. I nurse him, then he goes back down immediately. My question is how do I know if he's actually hungry vs. just wanting to be held?
Both things are 100% legitimate and important needs of a baby. Infants have emotional/relational needs just as much as they have hunger needs, and to feel the comfort of their mother is very important to their emotional development.


He BFs about 5 times during the day.
For a 4 month old to only nurse 5 times during the day seems on the low end - the best thing to do to increase supply is to nurse more frequently. From the rest of your post it sounds like it might be good to try nursing him when he is fussy before assuming he needs to cry it out - the fact that nursing left him content and put him right to sleep indicates to me that it is what he needed.

solomonson6910
01-05-2010, 07:40 PM
Hi Katigre - thanks for the reply.

"Both things are 100% legitimate and important needs of a baby."
That's fine - but how do I tell the difference so I give him what he needs?

SnuggleBuggles
01-05-2010, 08:23 PM
Hi Katigre - thanks for the reply.

"Both things are 100% legitimate and important needs of a baby."
That's fine - but how do I tell the difference so I give him what he needs?

I am going to chime in even though I might be guessing wrong. :) I think that even if baby doesn't "need" the nutrition, they need something of the nursing experience. So, since we can't really know what's going on in their brains, I just go with the obvious fix- nursing works, then I do it. :) Honestly and truly, there will be a day when they don't want to or need to nurse at night. For both of my boys they each woke up once and nursing wasn't all they could think about. Dh could soothe them, I could comfort them without nursing...

If you want to experiment and you have the option, send dp in to comfort the baby. If that comfort, support, touch is what they need then they will go back to sleep without nursing. That's pretty much how we deciphered if ds needed to nurse or just wanted someone.

GL!!
Beth

solomonson6910
01-05-2010, 08:43 PM
DUH! If comforting works, then that must be a pretty good indicator!
Thanks - I'm a 1st time mom, can you tell?

Katigre
01-05-2010, 08:44 PM
DUH! If comforting works, then that must be a pretty good indicator!
Thanks - I'm a 1st time mom, can you tell?
We've all been there with figuring this mom-thing out, it takes a lot of trial and error :).