facebook users: have you defriended anyone?

[brgnmom]

I'm thinking about defriending someone who used to be a close friend of mine many years ago... in elementary school. I guess I didn't appreciate a comment she made asking if my family and I were "really" moving back. Why would I post updates of our upcoming move if I didn't mean it? She recently friended me and I added her, but I don't feel comfortable sharing anything about my future move if all she does is question it.

Just wondering if anyone of you have defriended facebook friends. this childhood friend is mutual friends with my closest friend who was my matron of honor, and so it would be a little awkward if I defriend... I may just not post any updates for awhile. I only joined facebook recently.

[Clarity]

Sure have. Just because I felt like they weren't really FRIENDS. One was a co-worker who works in a different department. A couple of others were men that I went to school with. I just don't have a relationship with these people so I don't feel the need to pretend for FB sake. I'm not a friend collector and I don't feel bad for "ignoring" friend requests either. I might explain kindly if it is someone I see regularly but otherwise I don't let it worry me.
If you feel uncomfortable unfriending her, you can put her in a group that can't see your status updates. That's the easiest way to handle it.

[brgnmom]

If you feel uncomfortable unfriending her, you can put her in a group that can't see your status updates. That's the easiest way to handle it.

Thank you for this suggestion. I didn't realize there was a way to do this. I'll look into this in the settings area.

[g-mama]

I have. There have been a few people who never responded to anything I ever said, even when I asked them a question. I would respond to their updates but never ever got anything in return and I got tired of it. I know it sounds silly, but they were just "takers" and it started to piss me off so defriended them. I guess they weren't anybody I really cared about to begin with, and in each case, they friended me in the first place, so it was even more perplexing.

[kijip]

I ignore friend requests sometimes. I unfriended someone my brother had a falling out with who I was not especially close to. I hide people's updates from my newsfeed if they are filled with farmville garbage. I don't care if you found an ugly duckling.

[TwinFoxes]

I haven't defriended anyone, but I have hidden all of someone's updates. They were all negative, offensive or just too drama queenish. But I didn't want to hurt her feelings, since she seems a little emotionally fragile. Defriending seemed a bit harsh. This way I skip the drama but spare her feelings.

[hellokitty]

The only ppl I have defriended on FB are ppl that I really didn't know that well to begin with and honestly I don't think they probably cared anyway, kwim?

I do however NOT friend ppl that I am not comfortable with. I have some online friends from message boards that I have friended. Some other online friends wanted to friend me too, but they are really annoying ppl. So, I kept ignoring their request. Well, wouldn't you know. TWO of them got really nasty with me, sending me a PM to tell me that they couldn't believe I wasn't going to, "friend" them! WTH??? These are ppl I don't really, "know" b/c they are purely online friends, I do not understand why they got so bent out of shape. These were ppl who we were constantly getting into it about politics and religion, so I seriously had no desire deal with their BS on my FB acct on top of dealing with their BS on the message board (which I left, b/c a bunch of them let their true colors show after Obama won the election, I cannot believe the amt of racist crap they spewed and they still thought I would want to friend them?).

[shawnandangel]

Hmmm, maybe she meant it excitedly and it came across wrong? I've found a lot of people express excitement through a question.

I haven't defriended anyone, but I have thought about it! Usually, I just ignore people's updates whom I don't really care about but don't want to defriend for whatever reason.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I have defriended someone...and, oops, she found out and called me on it. She is a mom at ds1's school and we run in similar circles. I didn't feel like she'd really miss me b/c we didn't really talk irl. Well, turns out she had tried to invite me to something via FB and noticed we weren't friends anymore. She sent me another request, I accepted and we have actually become better, real friends.

I have no problem defriending someone from the way back that I barely knew. As a friend told me- if you wouldn't stop and tallk to them at the grocery store then she doesn't friend them.

FWIW, maybe her "really?" was a "really? that's cool! I can't wait!" rather than something negative.

Beth

[elliput]

I haven't defriended anyone, but have a couple people set on restricted access and I don't see all of their postings/quizes/etc.

My SIL defriended me due to a tiff she was having with my sister. :rolleye0014:

[KpbS]

FWIW, maybe her "really?" was a "really? that's cool! I can't wait!" rather than something negative.

This was my first thought when I read your post. Maybe she is really excited about you guys moving?

One potential downside to de-friending happened to a good friend of mine. She noticed that she had been de-friended when FB suggested a "friend" who had recently dropped her. If your friends (current) are friends with former friends (ones you have dropped) she may get a friend suggestion from FB that is you and it would be pretty obvious then you de-friended her. Just a thought.

[ohiomom1121]

I did once...with a previous good friend. Sometimes it's better to cut ties and move on. If not I agree with PP, just adjust privacy settings so they can't see any of your updates. I have mine set where a group of people I am not good friends with don't see much of anything and can't post to my wall. (I'm much better about ignoring requests now!)

On a side note, with the new fb layout you can hide any of those annoying applications (farmville, mafia wars, quizzes etc) without having to hide the people taking them. I'm so happy not to see what's going on in everyone's mafia these days!

[klwa]

Hmmm, maybe she meant it excitedly and it came across wrong? I've found a lot of people express excitement through a question..
:yeahthat:
I was thinking the same thing.... I can see saying "Are you REALLY coming back?" And meaning WooHoo, I get to see you again! I didn't realize it! Rather that meaning, Yeah, right.


I haven't defriended anyone, but I have thought about it! Usually, I just ignore people's updates whom I don't really care about but don't want to defriend for whatever reason.

:yeahthat: Once again, me too. :) And there are quite a few I jsut ignore completely. Mainly the overly political ones from either side....

[KHF]

On a side note, with the new fb layout you can hide any of those annoying applications (farmville, mafia wars, quizzes etc) without having to hide the people taking them. I'm so happy not to see what's going on in everyone's mafia these days!

I was beyond excited when they added this feature! No more Farmville! No more Mafia/Vampire/Whatever Wars!

I've also hidden some people's feeds from my screen. It seemed easier than defriending them. The person in question is someone I knew from high school. He seems to be very into "Self Help", work-from-home, and other ventures I've googled and found them to be pyramid schemes. Er, no thanks. Recently I've gotten requests from him to become a "fan" of his...those, I ignore.

[annex]

Beyond hiding their posts, I also create groups like "Annoying in-laws", "Distant friends", etc so I can set my account settings to restrict what people in those groups see. Most of the time, I make it so they can't see any of my status updates, or what other people post on my page. I will leave them access to things like photos of the kids or my very basic contact info. That way I don't have to worry about offending my FIL, SIL, etc when they send me a friend request, but they also don't get access to info I'd rather not share with them.

[Carrots]

I have hidden many people for posting too often (+3x a day) or posting annoying things in their updates. I haven't unfriended anyone, but I have ignored friend requests. I also block the person who I ignore so they can't find me again.

I will have to figure out how to block the Farmville/Mafia Wars updates. Those are so annoying.

[ohiomom1121]

I have hidden many people for posting too often (+3x a day) or posting annoying things in their updates. I haven't unfriended anyone, but I have ignored friend requests. I also block the person who I ignore so they can't find me again.

I will have to figure out how to block the Farmville/Mafia Wars updates. Those are so annoying.
All you have to do is go over to the right side of one of those posts and the word Hide will appear. You now get the option of hide this application, or hide this friend. I love it.

[liz]

I hide people's updates from my newsfeed if they are filled with farmville garbage. I don't care if you found an ugly duckling.

Oh man, I totally agree with that. SO annoying. And people who give me a constant update of their daily activities. Oh, so you are at work? Food shopping? Stopping by Walmart and then watching a movie? Ugh!
So yeah, I use the hide button instead of "un-friending" them.

[NewMom2007]

I also restrict access - people who I don't want to offend by defriending, but who don't really need to see anything I write (seems pointless to be their friend, I guess).

I also don't post too much personal stuff - no pictures. I have thought about setting up a second account for family and close friends (no colleagues or clients), but that seems like more work. I'll just keep emailing out pics separately.


On a side note, with the new fb layout you can hide any of those annoying applications (farmville, mafia wars, quizzes etc) without having to hide the people taking them. I'm so happy not to see what's going on in everyone's mafia these days!

Um...off to FB to do this right now! Ta-ta Farmville!!! Thanks! :applause:

[Melaine]

Yep. I have, a few times. I'm not a friend collector either.

[almostamom]

I have not defriended anyone, but I do have some people who have "limited access" to what I post. I just changed the settings to control what they see. I have been "friended' by a lot of former students, some of whom I am still close to and others were just random. The random ones and some people from high school that I haven't seen in 20 years are the people on the "limited" list. We can still contact each other, but we don't need regular updates on each other's daily lives.

[catsnkid]

my brother and my uncle did it to me and I was pissed.

That being said, I did it to a girl I knew slightly in high school. She friended me and then never wrote anything at all- never saw any updates from her, nothing. My thought was, what is the point of this?

[Snow mom]

Beyond hiding their posts, I also create groups like "Annoying in-laws", "Distant friends", etc so I can set my account settings to restrict what people in those groups see. Most of the time, I make it so they can't see any of my status updates, or what other people post on my page. I will leave them access to things like photos of the kids or my very basic contact info. That way I don't have to worry about offending my FIL, SIL, etc when they send me a friend request, but they also don't get access to info I'd rather not share with them.

I love this classification system. I have two lists currently, one that can't see anything (I set this up when I added a business as a "friend" and gained about 10,000 friends of friends) and one normal list. I have defriended several people, mainly people who I should have never accepted requests from. The one I am having the biggest problems with is DHs aunt, who I defriended and have received 4 friend request from since. DH isn't friends with her so I don't know why I should be. I feel kind of awkward ignoring her friend requests though. Maybe I'll set up one of these annoying in-laws groups.

[brgnmom]

[QUOTE=klwa;2591072]:yeahthat:
I was thinking the same thing.... I can see saying "Are you REALLY coming back?" And meaning WooHoo, I get to see you again! I didn't realize it! Rather that meaning, Yeah, right.

QUOTE]

yup, that's what I initially thought as well, except when I posted I would move really soon she didn't respond and it's been several days. oh and she was overly enthusiastic about another one of our friends visiting our hometown. Maybe it's just that time of the month and I'm overreacting.

thanks all for your classification system ideas. I definitely need to look into this, because right now, I don't have one on Facebook.

[AnnieW625]

Yes I have defriended someone because I was tired of hearing about all of her divorce drama. I know I got defriended by someone I went to high school with and I can't figure out why, but honestly it doesn't bother me much because she was always posting status updates.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

I have defriended someone...and, oops, she found out and called me on it. She is a mom at ds1's school and we run in similar circles. I didn't feel like she'd really miss me b/c we didn't really talk irl. Well, turns out she had tried to invite me to something via FB and noticed we weren't friends anymore. She sent me another request, I accepted and we have actually become better, real friends.

I have no problem defriending someone from the way back that I barely knew. As a friend told me- if you wouldn't stop and tallk to them at the grocery store then she doesn't friend them.

FWIW, maybe her "really?" was a "really? that's cool! I can't wait!" rather than something negative.

Beth


I don't read the "really" as negative either necessarily. I would just block her from seeing you updates, if you think she is being negative.

[niccig]

I did. It's a friend I was close to years ago. She's very needy and I don't have the time or mental energy now. If she calls, she wants to talk for over an hour and I would basically have to hang up as DS was crying and I would say "gotta go, crying baby" and she would say "oh, just one thing more"...aaah No, not one more minute I've got a screaming baby.

Anyways. I should have ignored her facebook request - I really don't use facebook much, but anytime I was on and she would see that, she would either call me on the phone or try to initiate a chat on facebook. I really just go on to keep contact with my sister and cousins. i don't post updates, I only respond to their updates. I started to feel like I couldn't go on facebook. So, I defriended her, but I changed all my facebook settings, so if you aren't a friend of mine, you can't see that I've got a facebook account. I still sent her a Christmas card, sent an email thanking her for the birthday card for DS, but I don't want to be stalked on facebook thank you very much. She hasn't asked, and I haven't said anything, but she did know I rarely used it.