Etiquette question re baby shower

[joules]

I've never been to any type of shower and I've never had one myself - I didn't have a bridal shower when i got married.

DH's ex-co-workers (from his previous job) have been kind enough to organize a baby shower for us at a restaurant. Is it ok for me to say that gifts aren't necessary? I know it's been a tough year for most people...and in general I feel awkward getting gifts (that's why i didn't have a bridal shower).

We would be happy just to see everyone and catch up.

Sorry if this seems like a stupid question. Sometimes my mom gets on my case because she WANTS to buy me stuff but I say I don't need it....then she gets "upset" because I don't "let" people do nice things for me. So then I worry if I'm upsetting people because I'm telling them not do nice things for me when they really want to. ack! i'm such a wierdo!! haha.

[infomama]

Hmmm..I guess I would say that if I was invited to a baby shower and there was a request to not bring gifts I would be a little confused. The whole concept of a baby shower is usually to help 'outfit' the parents.

[JBaxter]

No you cant say no gifts... gifts are the point of the shower. I keep a closet with some awesome stuff I got on sale for just such occassions.

[SnuggleBuggles]

You can ask, I really understand where you are coming from. But, most people I know *want* to buy a gift for the new baby/ family. So, even if I honored your no gift request for this, odds are that I would turn up with a gift for you eventually just because I think all babies deserve something. :)

Would something like a book only shower work for you? People could still bring something- the beginnings of a great library for dc- but not spend much?

Honestly, I think you would do better to create a registry with things at all different price points so people can spend what they feel comfortable with. Some people will go in together on gifts if they think they want to get you something bigger/ more expensive. No registry then you are taking a gamble on what people think you want/ need and you could wind up with things you really wish people hadn't spent/ wasted money on.

I'm not a huge fan of "no gift" requests because I think it puts people in an awkward position if they would like to get you something/ can afford to get you something/ have already budgeted for you.

Everything said, it is your baby, your shower and you can do what you feel comfortable with. :)
BEth

[joules]

I'm glad I asked! I guess my mom was right.

I'm setting up BRU and Target registries right now :)

Thanks!!

[citymama]

We're being thrown a baby shower for the second baby, and I've requested no gifts. It's going to be a dinner party, so more of a party than shower. The first baby is different though - you need baby things and people want to get you stuff.If you register but are awkward about gifts, I would suggest keeping most items on the inexpensive side, with a couple of larger ones in case your DH's co-workers want to chip in together on something.