How to handle this with my dd??

[Pennylane]

My dd, who is 8, has a really good friend at school who is Asian. She is such a sweet girl and we have had her at our house numerous times. Well now my dd wants to go to her house and play. Neither of my dd's friends parents speak English. I have met them once or twice and they seem very nice, but I know from my dd's friend that they are never at home since they own a local restaurant. Her friend does have two older sisters, one is 17 and the other 15, who would be at home. I have met them both and they seem very nice. But I still don't feel comfortable sending her over. Am I being too overprotective? Should I give it a try? I just feel like it something would happen my dd would not know how to handle it.

Opinions?

Thanks, Ann

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd give it a try. I personally am comfortable with teenage babysitters, even younger than the ages you have listed. Make sure she has your phone number and keep the playdate on the shorter side. I bet it'll be fine. :)

Beth

[crl]

I think the point about teenage babysitters is a good one. Would you be comfortable with either of the sisters as a babysitter? If so, then it seems to me like a playdate should be fine.

Catherine

[Pennylane]

I think the point about teenage babysitters is a good one. Would you be comfortable with either of the sisters as a babysitter? If so, then it seems to me like a playdate should be fine.

Catherine

I don't know either one of them, so no I would not leave them here to babysit my kids. I usually get a recommendation for a sitter from someone I know before I use them. I guess what I am most worried about it that whenever I drop off my dd's friend, there is always a few other kids there too and I don't have a clue who they are.

Ann

[doberbrat]

idk, I'm on the fence. do the teens really "Supervise" the sister/friends? or are they just around?

in 3rd grade, I had an Asian friend who's parents owned a resteraunt. She had much older sibs too. they were never at home either and I knew I wouldnt be allowed to go to Michelle's if my mom knew so we told my mom that Michelle's mom was at home and didnt speak English. was fine for a couple of months and then my mom dropped me off on a Sat am for a sleepover and dad happened to be at home and went on about how nice it was that I could keep Michelle company since they worked such long hours blah blah and none of the other moms worked so they didnt let their kids go to Michelle's house... We looked at each other and knew the goose was cooked.

My mom did let me stay that one time and that was that. I was never allowed to go there again. Sigh. So your concerns are pretty common I think.

[pinkmomagain]

I would not. I don't let my 13 yo go to friend's houses when just the older teenage sibblings are home. I always insist on a parent being home.

I also want to add that a teenager might be a fine babysitter in your home with your kids, but it's a different dynamic in their home with own sibblings.

eta: Oh, and don't forget with teenagers come teenage friends (who you know even less about).

[Katigre]

No, I would not be comfortable with my child over there without a parent home.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Btw, I know a sibling isn't the same as a babysitter. They will likely just be around more than actively involved. Growing up I was frequently over at a friend's house where just her older brother and their friends were- same age gap as what you are describing. I know bad things can happen but I really wouldn't be that worried about this. Go with your gut though.

Beth

[Tondi G]

Based on the what you've said and how it all sounds .... go with your gut. If it doesn't feel safe or right then don't let her go over there. My 8 year old is really responsible but I always think about the what if's and if something really scary did happen I am not sure how he would react so I am still cautious with what I allow him to do. My neighbor said she felt like it would be ok for her 9 year old son to ride his bike to the local park and back. I said nope ... not that I don't trust my kid but I don't trust others out there. They would have to cross a VERY busy street etc. Not ready for all that yet!