Friend with thyroid cancer

[SpaceGal]

A good friend of mine has thyroid cancer and will be in the hospital next Wednesday to have it removed. I know she will undergo iodine therapy after the cancer removal. Beyond these two things I know very little about the details.

I want to get her something, I'm going to see her before she goes to the hospital, I doubt I will be able to help or see her right after she gets out since I have 3 kids and wouldn't be much help to her. Any ideas of what I can get her? I didn't want to do flowers since I don't want to make her feel to sick...she's completely normal now and has been just saying how she just wants to get it over with and what not.

Any suggestions?? Cancer scares me and I worry about her since she's not letting on about having and fears or negativity about the whole thing. I know she has really supportive family so I don't want to step over any boundaries she might have by asking too much or saying too much.

[pinkmomagain]

First of all, sorry to hear about your friend. I hope everything goes extremely well for her. I really don't have much experience with this, but my first thought is simply putting together a little care package for the hospital -- if the procedure is not an outpatient thing. Maybe some magazines, a book, some snacks, itunes gc to load up some music before going to the hospital, toiletries, etc. I don't think that would be overstepping bounds or trying to navigate the whole cancer thing and how she is personally processing it. It's simply addressing her hospital stay and showing your thoughtfulness and caring as a friend.

[JTsMom]

:yeahthat: I think that sound perfect. Sorry to hear about your friend, and I hope everything goes smoothly.

[mikeys_mom]

My mother had thyroid cancer a few years ago. She had both her thyroid and parathyroid removed. Her biggest worry was having a visible scar on her neck so she had asked my father to pick out a nice choker necklace for her to be able to wear afterwards. In the end, her scar was barely visible but she still likes the necklace. :) So, maybe something like that would work?

I don't live in the same city as my parents anymore so I wasn't there for her immediate recovery period but I don't recall it being too terrible. I think that her voice sounded funny for a few months afterward. It also took a while for her calcium levels to go back to normal and the doctors had to keep changing the doses until they found the right one. During that time she did not feel well, but it was more just tired and run down feeling. I think she took 3 or 4 months off of work - she's an elementary school teacher.

Not sure if you are aware, but thyroid cancer does not spread at all. Once they remove it, it's gone and you are done.

I am sorry to hear that your friend is going through this. Hopefully it will all go smoothly for her. :hug:

[Tinkerbell313]

I am a survivor of thyroid cancer. Fortuantely, thyroid cancer is one of the slowest mestastasizing cancer there is...it generally stays pretty localized within the thryoid.

I had a complete thyroidectomy in 2002. Generally, you are in the hospital for one night and released the next day. The surgeon was going to keep me one more day as my parathryoid levels (the glands which produce calcium) were borderline. However, after redoing the blood work, I was released on schedule.

The hospital stay wasn't bad (it was only one night). It was the next few weeks of immediate recovery. Its generally a 10 to 14 day period for immediate recovery, however, my body usually takes longer. I did not want anything near my neck including jewelry or clothing. I could not turn my neck for about 1 month (tough when you had to back out of your driveway). I probably was back to myself (not exhausted, full neck mobility, etc) within three months.

We did not have family where we lived and we had just moved in...so we did not know many people. In hindsight, premade dinners would have been great so I could just heat them up.

Most people only have to have one treatment of iodine therapy. Generally, you are nauseaous for a day or two after. Because your body will contain a small amount of radioactive substance for several days after treatment, you must keep a safe distance from other people including children and pregnant women. I had to sleep in a separate bed from my husband for two weeks after treatment.

Sending your friend lots of hugs and prayers.

[clc053103]

I had half of my thyroid removed a few years ago. They thought I had thyroid cancer but thankfully, I did not. I did however read the research and as pp said, thryoid is the slowest moving cancer there is, it likely did not spread.

I also had 1 night hospital stay, followed by several weeks recovery, the first day at home was the worst. I also had a complication of a stretched vocal cord that lasted about two months (like a bad, bad case of laryngitis) and has some ongoing minor issues.

Love the ideas given so far- reading materials, music, premade dinners. As for what NOT to do- resist calling or dropping by for a minimum of a week- you have no idea how uncomfortable it is to talk. It requires so much effort to speak that it actually wears you out!!! A nice card, an email- anything that doesn't require talking is fine!

Offer to watch the kids if she needs help- or better yet, offer to watch them when she's feeling better so she can have a nice meal out with DH!

[SnuggleBuggles]

My friend just went through surgery and radiation for thyroid cancer. Another friend organized us all to provide dinner for her family during the week she was doing her radiation and wasn't supposed to be exposed to things (sorry, fuzzy on the details).

Beth

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

I had a lobectomy, due to a benign tumor, and I have another tumor growing. I recovered fairly quick. Overnight hospital stay. I think with the cancer, the RI treatment makes you feel a bit isolated. You cannot even use the same toilet as someone else, since you are releasing radioactive waste.... Maybe some great books to read while in "solitary confinement", or some walkie-talkies so she can talk to other people in the house, the kids might think it is fun, too...

[fortato]

I had 2 partial thyroidectomies, and thyroid cancer... and like PP said, it's the slowest metastisizing cancer you can have... but that doesn't make it any less scary.

After my surgery, it was nice to know that people cared- flowers were really nice, but, my favorite thing I got a week after I was home, was an Edible Arrangement. The friends who sent it sent a card the week before with some trashy magazines to read- since I couldn't do anything but sit around and watch tv and read for a week.

Your friend might be wicked bored, so getting her something to read or a puzzle book is a good idea- and some tea. I drank a TON of tea when I was home.

When it comes time for her to have the RAI treatment- offer her some iodine free meal ideas... you can find them online: http://www.thyca.org/rai.htm Going through the treatment was cake, but the weeks leading up to it were awful... you never realize how many things have iodine in them. So, she'll probably appreciate someone making her some iodine free treats!

Good luck, and give your friend a hug for me.

[niccig]

I had partial thryroidectomy - no cancer thankfully. Like the others, I didn't want anything near my neck. My surgeon used a tape that went from one side of my neck to the other. The scar wasn't too bad, and now 2 years on you can't even see it. The Drs are very good at trying to place in in skin fold/skin line. I thought it would bother me to have the scar, but it didn't.

There is a small chance that the nerves to the vocal cords can be damaged. Mine were. I had no voice and had trouble swallowing after the surgery. I had a 2nd procedure 3 weeks later that helped, and then intensive speech therapy for about 4 months. If this complication happens with her, it's manageable, but get her to go to a speech therapist who specialises in voice. A friend is a speech therapist and when I saw her 6 months after my surgery, she was surprised at how normal my voice sounded. If she does have the complication, she'll need to have easy to eat food - soft food and liquids until they teach her how to swallow without food going down the trachea.

I agree with books, magazines etc. I was up and driving DS to school the following week. I probably spent about 4 days resting, so it would be nice to have something to do. Maybe a group of friends can help out with dinners, my friends did, and play dates for the kids etc.

Oh. See a great endocrinologist for help getting thyroid medicine correct. It's a trial and error process.

You are a good friend to want to help.

[clc053103]

Sorry to hijack, but I wanted to take this opportunity to once again thank the wonderful ladies in these posts, as I recall many of you were around way back when- you werevery supportive and answered questions when I was having my partial thyroidectomy when I had cells that were suspicious for cancer. It is wonderful to see that you are still here almost 4 years later to offer your support and insight to a BBB'er so she can help her friend. You ladies rock.

[erosenst]

My brother had thyroid cancer 20 years ago. As others have said, very unlikely to spread (his didn't), and fairly quick release from the hospital.

At least when his was done, the radioactive iodine was done in the hospital in semi-isolation for a day or two. (People could visit for one 15 minute session a day, and sit across the room - but no women of child-bearing years, kids, immune compromised, etc.) Nothing that went in the room with him could come out. So he appreciated stuff to do while he was there that was at least semi-disposable - magazines, cards, jigsaw puzzles, etc. You might even consider getting her some inexpensive, but comfy, lounge clothes to wear instead of a hospital gown. I believe the first few days home he even had to use disposable plates, etc - so maybe some fun ones of those. And premade dinners are always a great idea.

Wishing her the best -

[SpaceGal]

Thank you all so much for insight on this cancer and the recovery and issues she may face.

I saw my friend today, I wasn't sure what to bring her so I brought some organic pomegrante green tea, some coconut butter cookies and a small thing of chocolates.

It's a bit hard for me to "deal" (if that's the right word to use) since she is my first direct contact that has had to deal with cancer. She's the sweetest most considerate person I know, I love her to bits! Probably what really stinks is she's a new mom, her DD is just about 4 months old. So seeing all this happen to her just saddens me. I talked to her and she tries not to let it get her down, especially in the dead of winter post holiday. I felt bad asking questions but I just had to...I didn't want her to think I didn't care at all. As for pre-made meals I might try to bring her some things and what not. I would love to watch her DD, but she has a lot of family in the area so I'm sure they will want first dibs before me, a friend with 3 kids and what not.

[niccig]

If she wants to talk to someone about the thyroid surgery, she can email me. I didn't have cancer, but I can give some information on the surgery, recovery from that, and I did have the vocal cord complication - less than 5% have that. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who's gone through it. The PP on this thread helped me went I went through it 2 years ago.

[fortato]

If she wants to talk to someone about the thyroid surgery, she can email me. I didn't have cancer, but I can give some information on the surgery, recovery from that, and I did have the vocal cord complication - less than 5% have that. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who's gone through it. The PP on this thread helped me went I went through it 2 years ago.

Likewise with me... Especially if she's looking for positive feedback on the RAI treatment...

[motherofone]

My sister went through this about a year ago. She is fine now. Her neck was very painful for a while and she felt awful while her thyroid medicine was being adjusted. She was self-conscious about the scar so I got her some scarves and a guide for tying them (neither of us ever wore neck scarves and had no clue how to wear them without looking like clowns.)