I should feel better now, but...

[sariana]

Does this qualify as a Mommy drive-by?

I often greet a father at DS's school. His child is not in DS's class; we just happen to see each other a lot. He always has an infant in a front carrier when he drops off his DD.

After a while, I recognized his car. I noticed, with horror, that the infant seat was sitting SIDEWAYS on the back seat. I thought maybe he just turned it that way to get the baby out of the seat, but something made me think that was not so.

So today I finally got the courage to appraoch him. I asked him if he needed help installing his seat because I noticed it was not properly installed. He was really nice and said he turned it that way to get the baby out. He said his car didn't have LATCH and he didn't like how the seat installed on the base with a seatbelt. So it was easier to use the belt with the bucket seat alone. Since the belt came across the top, he had to unbuckle it every time to remove DS. He thanked me for showing concern for his child, and we each went our merry ways.

Shouldn't I feel better about taking action, especially since he did not seem upset at all? Why do I feel so guilty?

[crl]

I do not think that is a Mommy drive-by. You offered to help! A mommy drive-by would have been, "don't you know how to install a carseat" said with a sneer.

Catherine

[wellyes]

I think you handled it well. I'm sure he, as a parent, understands that baby safety is so much more important than avoiding awkward conversations.

I'd see feeling guilty if you, say, anonymously called the police on him then later heard him complain that he was accused of neglect and had to explain to the police that the baby was only sideways when being removed from a stopped car. What you did? No guilt.

[MamaKath]

Good for you! Working at a school I see many moms with improper carseat installs. You managed to express concern in an eloquent fashion.

[JustMe]

I think you did an amazing job of expressing your concern without acting superior or making him feel bad. I agree that this is *not* a mommy drive-by as you offered help.