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View Full Version : January Multiple Moms Chat anyone?



Melaine
01-20-2010, 09:56 AM
How is the New Year going for all the MoMs? I started the New Year by going back on Prozac so things are definitely looking up for me:wink2:. I'm thankful to start 2010 off with Potty Training officially behind us (well, except night time:D).
Lately I have been getting a lot of, "When are you going to have more children?" questions and I'm completely baffled as to how to respond, because I just don't know. But I'm working on enjoying the girls where they are and not looking too far ahead. I'm facing the question of school and am still leaning towards homeschooling. Overwhelming, but still exciting.

So what is going on for everyone?

fivi2
01-20-2010, 01:43 PM
Congrats on the potty training! That is great!

The girls turned 4 in Dec and are still as crazy as ever. They love preschool and we are trying to figure out preschool for next year. They also started swim lessons, which they enjoy, but we had a scary (for mom) first class. I am trying to convince dh to move to a bigger house... not much success.

We are still torn on the more kids thing. Long complicated drama that I don't really want to get into right now...

But, you are still young and have plenty of time to decide. Good luck with the homeschooling. There are times when I think it would be fun, but I don't think it would work for us right now. I toy with the idea of taking them for a year or so in middle school and doing a lot of traveling and homeschooling (especially if they are our only dc). Our jr high is terrible and that is such a hard time any way.

Happy New Year!

mikeys_mom
01-20-2010, 02:53 PM
Our girls will be 1 year next month. I still can't believe how quickly the year flew by. They are crawling, climbing and cruising all over the house. I love this age. They are just so cute and snuggly, are not as needy as newborns and can't talk back to me yet :)!

I went back to work a few weeks ago (4 days a week) and we are all adjusting to the new routine. So far so good...

My wonderful nanny of 5 years just told me she is going to nursing school in September and wants to go home (the Philppines) for the summer. We are sponsoring a new nanny from abroad again and hoping that she gets her visa approved in time so that I have some overlap between the 2 nannies. It will be a huge adjustment for my kids, especially the twins because they are really attached to her.

As for more kids...we are 100% done! Mine are fraternal, so I now have a 1 in 5 chance of multiples again :p. I think we have our hands full right now. I do think it would be a harder decision if I had the twins first. For now I am excited to just enjoy my kids as they grow and mature.

That is great news about the potty training. DD#1 just turned 3 and has zero interest.

TwinFoxes
01-20-2010, 06:12 PM
:wavey: The girls are 19 months now! Preemie days are far behind. They are solidly on the growth charts. In fact they are in the 80s for height...but below 50 for weight. They don't look skinny though!

My big decision is whether to send them to pre-school for a couple of mornings next year. I feel like they need the interaction with other kids. They aren't technically speech delayed, but they're certainly not talkative. But it makes me sad to think of them away from me! I can't imagine what I'll do (cry!) I'm not thinking about going back to work for awhile, but a colleague of mine emailed me to ask why I hadn't applied for a job opening she's hiring for. Good to know they haven't forgotten me! I am thinking of doing some part-time work on the weekends just to keep my chops up. It's an early morning gig, so I would still get to spend weekends with DDs and even more importantly, DH...I wish we were independently wealthy so we could all spend more time together as a family. But don't we all!!!

What do you guys think about the pre-school idea? I may post about it in the lounge, but I'll get barraged with answers. Is 2 mornings a week pre-school good for two year olds, or should I wait until they're three?

fivi2
01-20-2010, 06:45 PM
What do you guys think about the pre-school idea? I may post about it in the lounge, but I'll get barraged with answers. Is 2 mornings a week pre-school good for two year olds, or should I wait until they're three?

I think it depends on your family :) (not helpful, I know). I certainly don't think it is necessary, but neither do I think it is harmful.

My girls just started preschool at 3y 9m and they only go two mornings a week. But, we have always been very active - gymboree for a while, two different playgroups, dance classes for a while, library storytime, and last year we did a mommy run co-op at a rec center (moms stayed). My girls are very outgoing and probably would have liked preschool, but I wasn't ready! And we were busy (and tuition times 2 isn't fun). And while my girls were a little early, they do not appear to have any developmental concerns or delays (knock on wood). If any of those variables had been different, I certainly would have considered preschool.

I guess that my thinking is that for most typically developing kids, school before age 3 or so is for the parents (which is fine, not a criticism). I don't think much academic learning is going on before then, and toddler's social skills are really hard to influence also. So, while I do not think it is a bad thing, I don't really think it does much for the kids either. But, if it provides mom (or dad) with some much needed down time (or work time) then that is a good enough reason for it. eta: and of course if your dc have special needs, the appropriate school can be beneficial.

JMO!

Momof3Labs
01-20-2010, 10:55 PM
The girls are turning 6 months next week! I don't want to start solids!! I'm not ready for the extra work, the extra mess, the extra time sitting in the kitchen, the higher food bills, lol... It took us long enough to find our rhythm pumping and bottle feeding - why shift gears now??

Momof3Labs
01-20-2010, 10:57 PM
What do you guys think about the pre-school idea? I may post about it in the lounge, but I'll get barraged with answers. Is 2 mornings a week pre-school good for two year olds, or should I wait until they're three?

ITA with fivi's response. Do it for you if you want, but don't feel like you have to do it for them. DS1 started preschool weeks before his 4th birthday (missed the cutoff by a few weeks), and DS2 started preschool at 3y 7m. Both did a once-weekly, 1.5hr park district class for a year before preschool to get them used to being dropped off by mom/dad (and give us a short window for kidless errands) but it wasn't essential.

twowhat?
01-20-2010, 11:21 PM
Mine are 16 months now and just getting into pretend play - it is fascinating to watch! I'm also struggling with naps (two naps or one??) and wishing that my kids weren't so fussy, stranger-anxious, and clingy in new situations. And feeling guilty that I think it's because I don't get them out often enough because it's just hard to. I struggle just to go out and get groceries.



The girls are turning 6 months next week! I don't want to start solids!! I'm not ready for the extra work, the extra mess, the extra time sitting in the kitchen, the higher food bills, lol... It took us long enough to find our rhythm pumping and bottle feeding - why shift gears now??

We started with solids at 6 months and it was a STRUGGLE. They were not very interested and it was a struggle to get them to try ANYTHING! They didn't start eating significant amounts of solids until 10 months, when they could pick up food and feed themselves. In retrospect I wish I would have been a LOT more laid back about it. I wish I would have just offered a spoonful or two of pureed stuff maybe a couple times a day, but if they refused it then just forget about it for that meal - completely! They were MUCH more interested in eating when they got older and could pick up foods. Then I just gave them really soft things like banana, avocado, sweet potato, etc. And Cheerios or similar which are easy to gum. I guess I felt like they were going to be hungry if they didn't eat but they were completely satisfied with just breastmilk at that age.

Ahhh preschool - I am thinking about it, but for when I go back to work. Then we'd have to put the girls in preschool full-time unless I can find a part-time job that makes part-time preschool worth the cost. The thing I dread dread dread is that they will start to get sick often. And it is already so hard when they get sick because it can be a month-long ordeal with ONE illness (Baby A gets fever for 4 days, then as fever breaks, baby B gets fever for 4 days, then stuffy runny noses follow during which Baby A doesn't sleep well at night for 2 weeks, followed by Baby B for 2 weeks. And that's just a regular cold.) I mean, I DREAD this. It just makes me sick to think about it, no pun intended. There won't be enough PTO to cover it all and just the lack of sleep due to babies being sick is so hard, and I already rely on a full night of sleep to make it through the next day. But I need our girls to get out and socialize and I would like to return to a job I enjoy because I think it will make me a better parent. There's just no good answer, is there? :)

caheinz
01-20-2010, 11:23 PM
Our little guys are just about 16 months now. Finally cut teeth # 3 and 4 (I was beginning to wonder how long they would be going with only 2 apiece!). The other big "milestone" this week was that they tried to "tell" me that D was B (coordinated effort, too). Sigh... we're going to be in trouble when they get older...

All done here. Three boys is enough!

As for preschool... I think I'd agree that it's not necessary yet. Our nanny does take the twins to the library for story time every week, and they apparently love seeing the other kids, but they have each other and big brother (outside of his school). I do think we'll want to do something when the little ones are older... I'll be thinking about it for sure when they're turning 3.

Momof3Labs
01-20-2010, 11:30 PM
Finally cut teeth # 3 and 4 (I was beginning to wonder how long they would be going with only 2 apiece!). The other big "milestone" this week was that they tried to "tell" me that D was B (coordinated effort, too).

The first part - believe it or not, but E has four teeth and M has five already! They had been neck and neck, and then M popped out the fifth from nowhere, literally. It seems like one day it was not there, and the next it was completely out. DS2 had a full mouth by a year (we blame the fact that his grandpa is a dentist).

The second part is too funny. Tell us how that went down!

caheinz
01-21-2010, 03:04 AM
The first part - believe it or not, but E has four teeth and M has five already! They had been neck and neck, and then M popped out the fifth from nowhere, literally. It seems like one day it was not there, and the next it was completely out. DS2 had a full mouth by a year (we blame the fact that his grandpa is a dentist).

The second part is too funny. Tell us how that went down!

They're nowhere near as verbal as DS1 was, but they're spitting out words here and there... nonetheless, they have a good receptive vocabulary, and so we will often play little games, like where's the dog? Where's big brother? Where's Daddy? etc.

Well, when I asked D where B was, he clearly indicated that he was B. When I repeated the question to B (both were in my arms at the time), he also clearly indicated that D was B. (I was 100% certain of who was who at that point...)

I fear we may have set ourselves up for this, since we often play in a silly way, me insisting that I'm Daddy or the like... I never stopped to think that they would pick up on that and turn it against us so quickly!

TwinFoxes
01-21-2010, 07:02 AM
They're nowhere near as verbal as DS1 was, but they're spitting out words here and there... nonetheless, they have a good receptive vocabulary, and so we will often play little games, like where's the dog? Where's big brother? Where's Daddy? etc.

Well, when I asked D where B was, he clearly indicated that he was B. When I repeated the question to B (both were in my arms at the time), he also clearly indicated that D was B. (I was 100% certain of who was who at that point...)

I fear we may have set ourselves up for this, since we often play in a silly way, me insisting that I'm Daddy or the like... I never stopped to think that they would pick up on that and turn it against us so quickly!

Wow, I never knew something could be so adorable, yet terrifying at the same time!

I appreciate everyone's perspective on preschool. It's so tough. The illness thing does give me a little pause. And I worry I'm being selfish for wanting to keep them home with me. But two seems so young! Sigh.

BeachBum
01-21-2010, 07:52 AM
Hi Everyone :)
My boys turned one yesterday, sniff, sniff. I thought they would be walking by now, but no. They've been pushing toys around the house since about 8 months, so I keep feeling like it is right around the corner.
We started kindermusik this week too. I'm so glad we did. I had forgotten how nice it is to do those little activities with them. The instructor is helpful taking one when she can, and other than that I just manage.

Overall I am just so much happier now than I was a few months ago. I just feel like we have really turned a corner or something. They boys are so fun, and I am really starting to love parenting multiples (which I never thought I'd say).

Melaine
01-21-2010, 08:22 AM
BeachBum, I definitely felt we turned a corner at one and again at two....each milestone has gotten easier for us!
TwinFoxes, I think fivi2's advice on preschool was excellent. I really don't think you should feel pressured to do preschool though, especially at this age. ITA that preschool at that age is more an opportunity for the parents to have a break or the kids to "practice" for real school. But there are plenty of other chances for socialization and playing and learning without formal preschool.
caheinz, my girls also started young and pretending to be each other and it BLEW ME AWAY. I was just shocked that they would think to do that! It was hilarious, but yes, kind of scary at the same time. Especially when it was my parents who actually could be fooled successfully!
Momof3Labs, I waited to start solids until like 7.5 months, IIRC. (I figured mine were 6 weeks early, so I'd give them a little extra time). They LOVED solids and took off like racehorses, eating anything I'd give them. They have been great eaters, that I will say, and still are.
Monday we have the girls' well visit at the new Doctor. I am dreading it, because of the last blood-draw/shot/finger-prick fiasco with DD2. And I am still really torn about vaccines and just feel incredibly helpless when I think about it. I also would really like to establish a good feeling with the new doctor, so I am kind of tempted to avoid all needles for the first visit. Does that sound crazy? As it is, I only get 2 shots at a time at the most. DH will want to go ahead because he is not really shot-shy the way I am.
At least I am back on Prozac this time. By the way, ladies, next time I say I'm going off it again, please remind me that is a BAD IDEA!

longamkl
01-21-2010, 12:13 PM
Thanks for starting this. In fact, I almost pm'd you (Melaine) yesterday because I was having such a bad day and just felt that I had no one else to talk to. It's so comforting to hear how everyone else is doing.

C & E are also about 16 months (and each have about 10 teeth!) and I also feel like we do not get out enough. I never take them to the grocery store but I do take them to a Baby 'n Me class once a week and that is going ok. They are undergoing massive separation anxiety - I can't even leave their sight to go to the bathroom without them dissolving in a puddle (yesterday anyway) which is becoming very stressful. C is 30 lbs so they are a lot to push around in a stroller so I'm not even enjoying that as much as I used to.

As far as more kids - I believe we're done. I'm too old and it took us 6 years of trying to achieve these babies. It's all so expensive too - and the Canadian version of the IRS thinks so too. We got notice of our third annual medical expense audit for our 2008 taxes - the year the babies were born and we had very high hospital bills.

At least as of the start of the year, I'm back using my treadmill. I'd love to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes.

I better run - they're up!

twowhat?
01-21-2010, 04:14 PM
C & E are also about 16 months (and each have about 10 teeth!) and I also feel like we do not get out enough. I never take them to the grocery store but I do take them to a Baby 'n Me class once a week and that is going ok. They are undergoing massive separation anxiety - I can't even leave their sight to go to the bathroom without them dissolving in a puddle (yesterday anyway) which is becoming very stressful. C is 30 lbs so they are a lot to push around in a stroller so I'm not even enjoying that as much as I used to.
I better run - they're up!

You have no idea how much better this makes me feel! I have so many friends with babies around the same age as mine and it just always seems like it's my kids that blow a gasket when I stand up to even THINK about going to the bathroom. Every time I take them somewhere "easy" (like a friends house) I have to sit on the couch with them for SO LONG just WAITING for them to warm up enough to want to go play with the slew of toys on the floor - toys that they've never seen before!! They even do this in our own house when we have visitors! It just really hurts sometimes when I meet up with friends, and they waltz in, set their kid down, and off she goes having a blast while mine are clinging to my legs as if the world is going to end.

Melaine
01-21-2010, 04:53 PM
You have no idea how much better this makes me feel! I have so many friends with babies around the same age as mine and it just always seems like it's my kids that blow a gasket when I stand up to even THINK about going to the bathroom. Every time I take them somewhere "easy" (like a friends house) I have to sit on the couch with them for SO LONG just WAITING for them to warm up enough to want to go play with the slew of toys on the floor - toys that they've never seen before!! They even do this in our own house when we have visitors! It just really hurts sometimes when I meet up with friends, and they waltz in, set their kid down, and off she goes having a blast while mine are clinging to my legs as if the world is going to end.

This sounds EXACTLY like my children. I mean, just like them. None of my friends understood. Actually, when they were that age they would sometimes refuse to leave my lap the entire visit at a stranger's house. They have really gotten better recently though. These are children that from infancy would SCREAM bloody murder when a stranger came within feet of us. I have still not been able to leave them in the church nursery and only my parents or sister have babysat for us. After a few dozen visits with other children they would start to warm up, but not sooner!

Actually, something great happened this week. We went to the park and there was a really sweet little girl who was maybe 6 months older than my kiddos. After a lot of persistence, she got my twins to play with her and it really warmed my heart. I was just THRILLED. They were laughing and following her around. They had so much fun....So, there is hope! Things will improve. It seems like it takes forever sometimes, but things will improve!

twowhat?
01-22-2010, 10:31 PM
This sounds EXACTLY like my children. I mean, just like them. None of my friends understood. Actually, when they were that age they would sometimes refuse to leave my lap the entire visit at a stranger's house. They have really gotten better recently though. These are children that from infancy would SCREAM bloody murder when a stranger came within feet of us. I have still not been able to leave them in the church nursery and only my parents or sister have babysat for us. After a few dozen visits with other children they would start to warm up, but not sooner!


OK, you guys are TOTALLY making me feel better!! I could've written what you wrote above!

So, unrelated topic - any moms of multiples here who work out of the home, or are planning to work out of the home at some point? I applied for a job on a whim, not expecting anything to come out of it but got asked to come in for an interview next week. The stars and planets would have to align in order for me to take the job (if they offer it to me). But I did plan on going back to work at some point and wondered if there was anyone who is doing it (any advice?) or who is thinking about it (what are your concerns?). My main concerns are for my children adjusting to day care, especially given their personalities. And dealing with both of them piggy-backing with getting sick. And having an extra "stressor" (my job) added to our lives. But - we need for me to make money in order to afford preschool (and preschool is something we both feel would be good for our girls). And a bigger house, down the road, is something we really need too!

Naranjadia
01-22-2010, 10:54 PM
Twinfoxes - We started our kids in preschool at 2 for 3 mornings a week and had a good experience with it - but I don't know how "school" the preschool we go to is. It's run by our university, but for 2 and 3 year old classes, though the day is structured between free play and storytime and a crafty activity, etc, it really isn't "school-ish."

Our kids enjoyed the being around the other kids, and of course all the new toys. After the first two weeks, they really got over the saying goodbye to mama and daddy bit - but it is always so gratifying, even now, to see how happy they are to see us when they're done.

They did get sicker more frequently last year - this year has been a lot better. Another byproduct of school is the influence of their peers, which shows up in both positive and negative ways.

It was the right choice for us, but if you're not sure you even want that set-up, it may be better to wait.

TwinFoxes
01-22-2010, 11:07 PM
TwoWhat, I have so much angst about going back to work. I never really planned to stay at home, but the girls were so early, DH got a promotion which involved a x-country move, and here I am! Now I can't really imagine going back soon, the thought of leaving my girls makes me so sad!

But on the other hand, I loved my job. And I miss it. And the longer I'm gone, the harder it will be to break back in. I also feel guilty that DH is the sole breadwinner. I'm sure it's a lot of pressure on him, although when he was growing up MIL didn't work so in a way I think he almost expects to be the breadwinner. My former coworkers keep asking if I plan to come back. But when they gossip with me about work I feel so out of it, I wonder if I'll ever be able to get back in the swing.

It's so hard deciding. So many factors. :dizzy:

Melaine
01-28-2010, 05:00 PM
You guys, today I met a family in the park that had a set of TWINS and a set of TRIPLETS.....:47:

Can you imagine!!!

k_null81
01-29-2010, 05:01 PM
I would have to be carted off to a nutty house! Twins are hard enough!

Naranjadia
01-30-2010, 12:01 PM
Okay - I've got a question:

Potty training - we were going to do a training unders weekend soon. Both DD & DS have gone on the potty, but not regularly. DD does it more than DS, but DS seems to have some interest in it, too. So do we do the training weekend together, or let DD go first? I can imagine DS being unsuccessful and upset if we put them on, but also left out and made if we don't. What do you all think?