Is it possible to kick a toddler out of our bed?

[arivecchi]

DS1 sleeps in our bed and absolutely loves it. We would like to move him to his room so that he will go to bed earlier, sleep longer in the morning and allow us to relax more at night (we currently go to bed much earlier than we'd like so he will go to bed at a decent time). Has anyone done this successfully? Any tips? We cannot let him cry it out as his room is accross from DS2's room.

[MamaSnoo]

I wish I had some advice for you.....but all I have is an "I feel your pain" ...that is the pain of being kicked in the head by DC! I'll be looking for replies too....

[bubbaray]

Our toddler (and Kindergartener) frequently kick us out of bed.

The other night, DD#2 kicked me out of our bed. I went and slept in her bed. DD#1 then went to our bed. DD#2 came to her bed (where I was), so I went to DD#1's bed.

I really hate waking up where I didn't start sleeping. Its very disorienting. Somewhat like university. LOL.

[NewMom2007]

Good luck with this - I mean this sincerely. We did move DS to his own room, but he inevitably winds up in our bed. We used to notice and when we had the energy for it, would bring him back to his room. He would stay in there sometimes, or not :)

Since being pregnant with DS2 and after his birth, we have zero energy and don't even notice when DS1 comes into our bed. He is just there when I wake up.

I assume he'll start sleeping in his own room all night long sometime before he's a teenager...or at least I hope so :ROTFLMAO:

I would say the key is repetition - if you are going to do this, you have to put him in his bed and keep bringing him back to it when he leaves. And, you'll have to take the transition slowly (Elizabeth Pantley covers this in her No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers book). We tried, but again, neither one of us wakes up or really wants to be disrupted to keep moving him back.

[goldenpig]

Looks like your child is 3 which is an advantage in that you can talk to him about the transition and he will understand, so that may make it a little easier.

We've had to transition my 2.5 year old back to her crib many times over the last year (whenever we travel or she's sick she gets to stay in our bed, and always asks to stay there for days afterward). I always tell her something like "Tonight you're sleeping in Mommy & Daddy's bed, but tomorrow night you will sleep in your bed and Mommy & Daddy will sleep in Mommy & Daddy's bed. And if you wake up at night, Mommy will come to you but you have to stay in your bed till morning." And I'll repeat it every night before she goes to bed. I don't let her cry long if she wakes up at night, I'll go to her and tuck her back in and remind her that we're right next door and that it's time to sleep. I bought one of those toddler clocks (www.mytotclock.com) so she can see when it's nighttime (blue) vs. daytime (yellow). I'll point to the clock and say that she can come to our bed when it's yellow. In the morning we review what happened: "Remember last night, you woke up and cried, and mommy came to you and told you to go back to sleep? Good job for sleeping in your bed all night! Now it's yellow, it's wake up time!" She does still wake up once a night fairly often, but talking to her about it plus having a bedtime routine in her room (reading 3 books, song, hug & kiss, tuck, same goodbye phrase) helps and she usually doesn't cry or protest going to bed.

I think it might be harder if it's a bed that he can get out of and come to your room (which is why I'm scared to move her out of a crib). I've heard you have to keep returning them over and over to their bed and it can be rough for several days/weeks till they learn. Another tip I've heard is that it can be helpful to make a "bedtime routine" book of pictures of them getting ready for bed, ending with a picture of them asleep in their bed. Then you can read it to them every night. Or bribe them with stickers on a chart or other little prizes for every night they stay in their bed. Or if you really can't get them out of your room, make a little nest or put a futon at the side/foot of your bed so if they come in your room, they at least won't climb into your bed and wake you up. Good luck from one tired mom to another!

[KrisM]

I'd start with getting to go to bed in his own room. If he wanders in during the night, let him stay, if you want. Or, carry him back.

You might end up laying down with him in his bed at first. After a few days, move to next to the bed. Another few days and move to the foot of the bed. Gradually get yourself out of the room. We did this with DS1 and it worked over a couple weeks.

Or, just put him in and keep carrying him back when he gets out. We did this with DD and it made her mad, but it worked faster than the above method.

[mommylamb]

Friends of ours have this same problem with their DD. She has refused to sleep in her crib/toddler bed for a long long time. they just bought her a regular queen size bed and plan to have one or the other one sleep with her for a while in her bed and gradually transition her into sleeping there on her own. I think it's kind of funny that my DS (2 weeks older than their DD) is still in his crib, but she has gone from crib to toddler bed (total waste of money for them, she never slept there) to queen bed. But my friend is pregnant with #2 now, so they are desperate to get this sorted before the new baby comes.

[ThreeofUs]

Yes. Stage it. Kick him into a twin bed in your room and then ease him into his room. It'll take a while if you want to be gentle about it, but it will work.

[arivecchi]

Part of the problem is that DS1's room is on the last floor of our townhouse next to DS2's room. The MB is on the next floor down. There is a gate at the top of the stairs that we must close if they are up there so that they won't fall. So if we left him in his room, he'd basically scream at the top of the stairs until we get him and wake up DS2. He says he is scared of his room. He has a nightlight, etc. I guess I could try to sleep up there with him, but that sucks because we don't fit all that well in his full size bed. That seems like the only way to go though. Thanks for all the tips. Keep 'em coming! Like the PP said, I hope he will be in his bed by the time he is a teenager. :hysterical:

P.S. I like the clock idea. I might get that.

[California]

This can be so tough! Can you use a baby monitor with the three year old so you can hear him before he starts screaming?

Both my older kids reverted to our bed after our baby was born. A six year old and an almost four year old. I tried a lot of different things that didn't work for us. Especially getting up in the night to put them back in their own bed after they'd come into ours. My DH and I were so tired we wouldn't take them back to their own beds. I think that approach would have worked if we would have been consistent with it.

After taking a parenting class, I tried the approach of logical consequances. I explained to them that a tired mommy= a grumpy mommy, and the less sleep I got the more we would have a boring day. (It helps that I didn't go back to work after having the baby!) It took some trial and error, but this did seem to sink in. When they slept in their own beds I made a big deal out of saying "Thank you! I feel great!" and after a while, it worked. Phew.

[arivecchi]

This can be so tough! Can you use a baby monitor with the three year old so you can hear him before he starts screaming?

Both my older kids reverted to our bed after our baby was born. A six year old and an almost four year old. I tried a lot of different things that didn't work for us. Especially getting up in the night to put them back in their own bed after they'd come into ours. My DH and I were so tired we wouldn't take them back to their own beds. I think that approach would have worked if we would have been consistent with it.

After taking a parenting class, I tried the approach of logical consequances. I explained to them that a tired mommy= a grumpy mommy, and the less sleep I got the more we would have a boring day. (It helps that I didn't go back to work after having the baby!) It took some trial and error, but this did seem to sink in. When they slept in their own beds I made a big deal out of saying "Thank you! I feel great!" and after a while, it worked. Phew. Cute idea! Unfortunately I work, so I don't think that will work for us. I just got him some new Superman bedding and am hoping that will want to make him sleep in his bed. Doubtful though, he loves sleeping with us!

[mikeys_mom]

We did a reward chart. DS came with me to the store, picked out a prize and we put it away in the closet. He had to earn 10 stars on the chart to get the prize.
The rules were that he had to sleep in his own bed all night. The first few nights he'd wander into our room in the middle of the night. We would remind him about the star on his chart and that usually motivated him to go back to his own bed.
He was pretty motivated to get his prize so it worked quickly. Once he was in the habit of sleeping in his own bed in his own room, he stopped sleeping in our bed.

[arivecchi]

We did a reward chart. DS came with me to the store, picked out a prize and we put it away in the closet. He had to earn 10 stars on the chart to get the prize.
The rules were that he had to sleep in his own bed all night. The first few nights he'd wander into our room in the middle of the night. We would remind him about the star on his chart and that usually motivated him to go back to his own bed.
He was pretty motivated to get his prize so it worked quickly. Once he was in the habit of sleeping in his own bed in his own room, he stopped sleeping in our bed. Hmmmmmmm.....that's a thought. He is obssessed with Cars and is always asking for more characters from the movie, so I bet that would motivate him. Thanks!

[bnme]

Our older DS somehow ended up sleeping with us at about 1.5yo. Before that he had always slept in his crib. We ended up transitioning him by laying down to sleep with him in his bed and staying there until he fell asleep. He went to bed around 7pm and we were lucky in that he usually fell asleep fast and did not wake up prior to the time we were in bed, which gave us our evening down time. If he woke up in the middle of the night one of us would go lay with him in his bed (and often end up falling asleep there for the rest of the night). He was around 2 when we kicked him out of our bed and started this process. I think it was many months of us laying with him to fall asleep and even longer that we would end up in his bed at night. But I was OK with it as long as he went to bed in his bed and he was not in our bed.