Does the term RSVP have cultural limitations?

[s7714]

Just wondering (as I've been sitting here working on some invitation wording), does the concept of RSVP even mean anything to people in other cultures, or is it mainly a English (and obviously French) thing? For instance, would a person who barely speaks English (from whatever random country) even know what RSVP means if they received a invitation with that on it?

I really should get back to work instead of pondering things like this... :D

[edurnemk]

I can assure you that RSVP is understood in every country in America (the continent, meaning, USA, Canda and all of Latin America), and Europe. I don't know about other countries.

[JustMe]

I would think that there are many cultures/languages that would not know what RSVP is. I would say something like Please call us to let us know if you are coming by...such and such date if you mean this for any practical reason.

I definitely have found that this is very different regionally within this country...even though I am sure the people I am dealing with know what RSVP means, I have had people show up to dd's parties without RSVPing (ooh, its a verb), and this would never have happened where I am originally from.

[DietCokeLover]

You could say something such as "RSVP if declining", or "555-5555 for Regrets only"

[mommy111]

Reporting from China and I've found that eveyone here who speaks English undestands RSVP. As for whether they really RSVP....I found out with DD's birthdays in the US as well as 1 in China that about as many RSVP here as do in the US....which is not a whole lot :ROTFLMAO: One of only 3 moms RSVPing (out of 40 invited) called me up the AM of and told me that her DD 'did not feel like attending this AM.' Lady, if you didn't call me for the last 3 weeks that you've had the invitation, why call me up the morning of to tell me that you're not coming :ROTFLMAO:

[hellokitty]

Reporting from China and I've found that eveyone here who speaks English undestands RSVP. As for whether they really RSVP....I found out with DD's birthdays in the US as well as 1 in China that about as many RSVP here as do in the US....which is not a whole lot :ROTFLMAO: One of only 3 moms RSVPing (out of 40 invited) called me up the AM of and told me that her DD 'did not feel like attending this AM.' Lady, if you didn't call me for the last 3 weeks that you've had the invitation, why call me up the morning of to tell me that you're not coming :ROTFLMAO:

Yeah, I would not count on anyone from any of the Asian countries, that aren't raised here in the US following through with RSVP. Don't even get me started on mil's guest list from our wedding, NONE of her (korean) guests RSVP'd. When I wanted her to call them, she got mad at me and didn't want to do it. I basically forced her to do it and it turns out pretty much almost every person she invited was planning to attend (and of course, they ate dinner and left right away, not staying for the rest of the reception). So, good thing that I forced her to call, or we would have had like 40 extra ppl show up at our reception that we had assumed were not coming. They also don't understand seating arrangements, don't get me started on the family that sat in the wrong table and scared away my friends from that table AND decided to bring grandma along w/o RSVPing...

My asian american friends all RSVP, but asian immigrants or asians from asia don't understand the concept for the most part.

[AnnieW625]

Yes I think it does in my experience. My DH's Mexican side of the family decided to not RSVP for our wedding so my MIL was happily sending emails two weeks before the wedding. About half came and half didn't.

I prefer RSVP to Regrets Only, but here in Southern California "Regrets Only" is pretty popular.

[Roni]

I'm starting to think that English-speakers don't understand it. I can't get over how many people (both among my friends and my kids' friends) never respond one way or another to invitations. I've decided to use different language the next time I send out an invitation--something like, please respond and let us know whether or not you are coming. (One of my dd's classmates mothers had the same problem, so I know it's not just me.)

[mommy111]

Yeah, I would not count on anyone from any of the Asian countries, that aren't raised here in the US following through with RSVP. Don't even get me started on mil's guest list from our wedding, NONE of her (korean) guests RSVP'd. When I wanted her to call them, she got mad at me and didn't want to do it. I basically forced her to do it and it turns out pretty much almost every person she invited was planning to attend (and of course, they ate dinner and left right away, not staying for the rest of the reception). So, good thing that I forced her to call, or we would have had like 40 extra ppl show up at our reception that we had assumed were not coming. They also don't understand seating arrangements, don't get me started on the family that sat in the wrong table and scared away my friends from that table AND decided to bring grandma along w/o RSVPing...

My asian american friends all RSVP, but asian immigrants or asians from asia don't understand the concept for the most part.

Oh, but its not just in Asia, in my experience. In the US, whenever we had a birthday for DD, maybe 1 or 2 of the 10 or 15 kids invited would RSVP. Maybe its just the demographic (parents with young kids) but most of these people were brought up right here in the US and so being brought up in a different society was not the excuse. I think RSVPing is becoming a lost cultural more, much like thank you notes.

[mom2binsd]

Based on the response I got for DD's birthday parties and so many others who've had the same issues with RSVP's.....I think the whole concept of being polite/courteous when given an invitation has gone out the window! Many English speaking, born in the USA, middle class, educated parents don't RSVP!!!

If there is any question of a language barrier I'd even use simple language (regrets may not be understood by all).

Something like, Please call or email to let me know if Susi can come to the party. I find adding the email option makes it easy for many parents to respond, less personal than a phonecall (I think many are afraid to call and say they can't come like it's an insult or something)

I ended up calling a few days before and confirming with each parent.

[lizzywednesday]

I'm starting to think that English-speakers don't understand it. I can't get over how many people (both among my friends and my kids' friends) never respond one way or another to invitations. I've decided to use different language the next time I send out an invitation--something like, please respond and let us know whether or not you are coming. (One of my dd's classmates mothers had the same problem, so I know it's not just me.)

I got this from almost everyone at my sister's shower in a certain age range. (Which is to say, mostly my sister's friends who are so self-centered they can't put half a sentence together ... grrr.)

I don't mind "regrets only" notes, but think it would drive me nuts tracking.

[creativelightbulb]

people might know what it means but as others have said they may not feel compelled to ACT upon your request...

from my experience in the US MOST cultural groups do not rsvp as mainstream white America might assume the "general" American public would...

Latino, Asian, African, Carribean, Black....simply aren't culturally motivated to rsvp...

it can be sooooo frustrating when trying to prior proper plan....

[Melanie]

LOL, the way people act these days you would think Americans don't understand it!

[ahrimie]

Yeah, I would not count on anyone from any of the Asian countries, that aren't raised here in the US following through with RSVP. Don't even get me started on mil's guest list from our wedding, NONE of her (korean) guests RSVP'd. When I wanted her to call them, she got mad at me and didn't want to do it. I basically forced her to do it and it turns out pretty much almost every person she invited was planning to attend (and of course, they ate dinner and left right away, not staying for the rest of the reception). So, good thing that I forced her to call, or we would have had like 40 extra ppl show up at our reception that we had assumed were not coming. They also don't understand seating arrangements, don't get me started on the family that sat in the wrong table and scared away my friends from that table AND decided to bring grandma along w/o RSVPing...

My asian american friends all RSVP, but asian immigrants or asians from asia don't understand the concept for the most part.

LOL, I'm Korean and totally get the wedding without RSVP thing. Actually, they think it's a FAVOR to YOU to come. Um... yeah.

[hellokitty]

LOL, I'm Korean and totally get the wedding without RSVP thing. Actually, they think it's a FAVOR to YOU to come. Um... yeah.

Yeah. I am, "lucky" that my mil did not decide to invite her whole entire freakin church! My korean sil is from NYC and I guess they basically just invite the entire church, and don't do RSVPs, so you just assume everyone is coming. DH and I explained to mil that this is not the way it is in the, "real" world, but she would not listen. We live somewhere that doesn't have a k-town, there are koreans, but they are still spread out, so it's very bizarre to me that she's been in the US for over 30 yrs and still is not aware of american etiquette at all. My parents are taiwanese and have been in the US for about the same length of time and are actually pretty good about RSVPing and understand that is the way things work here in the US.

Kmil also got royally PO'd at me, b/c I didn't put she and fil's name at the top of my wedding invitation (my parents paid for everything). She told me, that b/c of that one of her friends threw out our wedding invitation b/c they thought it was, "junk mail." Note I put mil/fil's and DH's name in the middle of the invitation. So, it's not my fault her friends are too stupid to read a wedding invitation that consists of a few lines and what kind of idiot mistakes a wedding invitation as junk mail??? On top of that, I had specifically told her that if she wished to order korean wedding invitations to pass out to her friends instead of the ones DH and I sent out, that she was welcome to do it, but she was too cheap to do that. UGH. Basically, the ppl she invited to our wedding were all ppl that she said, "owed" her $, and not to sound greedy, but the biggest irony of all was that her friends gave us really crappy gifts (IMO, I think this was an indication of what they thought of my mil, I have been to church with her before and I do not think ppl like her), and she did not, "get back" the $ they had given them for weddings, etc.. I mean, the family that showed up with gma unannounce, that was five ppl and they gave us $20 as a wedding gift?!?! This was a very formal wedding! My mil was bragging about how much koreans give as wedding gifts, well her friends must be the freak koreans, b/c that certainly did not happen, so I'm annoyed that she insisted that we invite these ppl b/c they, "owed" her and these guests just ended up being a total PITA. We even got into a big fight, b/c she wanted to invite even more ppl, and got mortally offended when DH and I kept telling her that wasn't possible, b/c the reception hall could not fit any more ppl. I'm so glad I stood my ground and did not let her invite any more extra ppl, plus it wasn't fair to us or my parents either, b/c we split the guest list into thirds. My mil is a major sore point when I think back to wedding plans and the wedding day. We should have eloped and not invited her.

[Ceepa]

LOL, the way people act these days you would think Americans don't understand it!

That's what I was going to say. RSVP might as well be jabberwocky considering how many people aren't courteous enough to respond, in general. Can you tell it's a pet peeve of mine? :p

[lizzywednesday]

That's what I was going to say. RSVP might as well be jabberwocky considering how many people aren't courteous enough to respond, in general. Can you tell it's a pet peeve of mine? :p

What, as in "Beware th Jabberwock, my son/The jaws that bite, the claws that catch ..." ?

(Yeah, you got me, I am a Lewis Carrol freak.)