Tips for successful doctors visits with a spirited child?

[mousemom]

We had DS 15 month check-up yesterday. He was upset before anybody even touched him and would not cooperate with even the most basic things, like getting weighed, height, etc. Two weeks ago we took him for a hearing test and we have to go back for a re-test because the audiologist could not tell if he was having problems hearing or was simply too unhappy to cooperate.

He is spirited and I know that many of those traits make these visits hard for him. He does not like changes to his routine and new places. He is slow to adapt, so all the transitions of going from home to the waiting room to the exam room are hard for him. And he is persistent, so when someone does something he does not like (such as looking in his ears), he does not quickly forget it and he cannot be easily distracted with toys, etc.

Any tips from others with spirited children? How have you helped them feel more comfortable in similar situations so that the doctors can actually do what they need to do? Thanks!

[JBaxter]

Hes 15 months old. Thats how they are ( well most of them and all if mine). I always held mine for ear checks and anything that had to do with being touched by another person. Mine have varied in there activity levels

[Melaine]

It has gotten a little better as they have gotten older now that we can talk about it. We discuss what will happen before well visits. We just had one and it went well, although we didn't do any shots, only a finger stick.

The one thing I would say from a bad experience we have had is this. Be proactive and firm about getting an EXPERIENCED nurse to do shots and finger sticks and blood draws. We are still trying to recover from a very bad experience with DD2 months ago. My children, particularly, will remember those traumatic events forever and do not forgive easily.

I'd love tips from others who have BTDT!

[sidmand]

Have no tips except age...

DS was held down by two nurses and the doctor (while sitting in my lap and me holding him too) to check his ears when he was about that age. And to this day he's terrified of anyone looking in his ears (and I can't blame him).

I had to step on the scale while holding both DCs so they could subtract my weight from theirs. We did not have an accurate height on DS for many many years because he wouldn't cooperate.

DS would scream the entire visit and never once did a regular doctor get a good look in his ears (the above was the ENT). But they could tell he had good lungs :)

[JTsMom]

He sounds exactly like my son. I wish I had some wonderful advice, but I don't. It's still challenging to take him! One thing that has helped as he's gotten older is to read books about visiting the doctor, and to play doctor with a toy doctor's kit. For his last cardiologist visit, we brought the kit with us, and he took my blood pressure and listened to my hear while they checked his.

Your DS is still so young though, I doubt he'd get much out of that at this point, but I thought I'd mention it just in case you're still facing the same challenges down the road.

When DS was a baby, I held him through all of his exams. I even nursed him through most of them! If the doctor can do any of it while he sleeps, that's the absolute easiest way.

It also helps if you can have another adult to take him so you can talk to the doctor while thinking straight, especially if you have any questions or concerns. :)

Just know that a lot o this is normal, and you're not alone.

[m448]

I think all of that sounds normal. Even my most laid back baby at 15 months old would not cooperate with a hearing test. In fact my toddlers were older before the pedi even tried it for that very reason.

Weights were take with me holding the child, I would quickly put him down on the floor next to me and the would weigh me alone. So taking the difference. Height I would do the measuring, checkups were done on my lap while I sat on a chair or on the exam table with the child on my lap. Basically relax, calm down and you as the mom state where and how the examination will go since you know your child. Don't just hand him to nurse or doc because with his temperament you know it won't go well. You are the mom, you know him best and whether the doc or nurse don't understand it you'll find a rhythm to your visits.

[mousemom]

Thanks for all the replies so far. Just wanted to say that I do already hold him on my lap for the entire exam, so no handing off to doctors or nurses. The only time I even tried to put him down was to get the weight, but for that I ended up just holding him on the scale and then subtracting my weight (fortunately, DH was also there so he held DS while they got my weight). The doctor is very patient and gentle with him and there were no shots involved, just listening to his heart, etc. But he's still upset, and as I said, he's upset before we even take his clothes off. Please keep the suggestions coming!

[MamaKath]

It does sound very typical for that age. My very spirited dc is older and still can be like that. Some things we have been able to find things that help, like:
*bringing stickers for dc to pass out (works well to help practice manners like "How are you today" or "Would you like a sticker")
*bring a game or dvd along
*have story books and toys ready, ones that are "new to dc" are helpful as well as some favorites
*bring snacks (hunger only adds to the anxiety)
*have an extra person to help (why is it that their aunt can take them with NO problem, but safe mom gets the brunt!?)
*arranging the extra hands to go play with them/go to the car with them if you need to talk to the doctor seperately/wait in the waiting room (this has been pivotal for our family, we have specialist visits in a city quite a distance away and a family member will come by train to meet and help if I need it)
*talking before hand about what you expect and offering a reward- if they meet that expectation- follow through (like an ice cream cone)
*bring along dc's lovey, even if they can't have it during the exam, it is good afterwards

It does change as they get a bit older, add to their vocabulary (through spoken language or sign), and adjust to seeing the person they don't like in that setting again. Hang in there mama!!!

[Clarity]

I agree, it's the age. Both my dd's are typically ok with the dr. but from 12-18 months they don't want anything to do with him. DD1's pediatrician said it was the case for most babies.