Years between children...

[SM23Mama21]

How many years did you wait between children? Does the gap work for you? Would you wish them to be closer or more spread apart now that you've had them?

I'm just trying to think ahead to the future. :wink2: Thanks!!

[HIU8]

DS and DD are 2.5 years apart. For me that was as close as we wanted them to be. We are older and didn't want them very far apart, but my ideal would be 2.5 - 4 years difference.

[Elilly]

Ours are 22 mos apart. We thought we were going to have three children when we had the first two so close together. But, Ds's health issues caused us to stop at two. I love the age gap. They still love to play together. In fact, they're playing pet hospital right now :)

[wencit]

There are pros and cons to each. I thought I wanted to wait until DS1 was a little older and more self-sufficient, so he and DS2 are 3 years 4 months apart. Unfortunately, DS1 was also old enough to understand that his precious Mommy time was now being intruded upon by DS2, so I had a really hard time with DS1's behavior for the first couple of months. He absolutely adores his little brother and has from the start, though, which is good, but when he was lashing out at the beginning, it was always directed at me and DH.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have had kids back-to-back so that DS1 wouldn't even know what hit him, but I was physically and emotionally NOT ready for another child until my first son was at least 2. DS1 being already potty trained also really helped a lot, too, so that I didn't have to deal with 2 kids in diapers.

Like I said, there are definite pros and cons to both. :)

[DietCokeLover]

Mine are 11 months apart. Surprise! We knew we wanted two children, just didn't exactly expect to have them so close.

It was an exceptionally difficult first year with both kids, but it is getting better as they are getting older (3 and 2)

[mariza]

20 months apart, not planned that way but worked out really well. DD doesn't remember a time without DS and they play really well together. They also share a room and don't want their own rooms, they like rooming together!
I would have liked a third, but now that DD is 5 and DS 3.5 and I am in my late 30's (and several other issues) sadly, I think that window is closing :(

[ohiomom1121]

Mine are 18 months apart, and while that first year was very exhausting, I love the gap. They play together constantly, like the same toys and shows etc. Plus it really helped DD who is pretty shy having a SUPER outgoing little brother. This next one will be a little over 4 years apart from DS so we'll see how that goes!

[AnnieW625]

Ours will be just over 4 yrs. apart. If we have a third it will most likely be 2 or 3 yrs. younger than #2, and I'd like to be done having kids the year I turn 35.

[SnuggleBuggles]

5.5 years.

Pros
-I got to really enjoy our time with just ds1. he got to be the center of the world for us.
-things were pretty easy with just one dc!
-when I got pg with ds2, ds1 was old enough to be trusted while I dozed on the couch from pg exhaustion.
-I get to have ds2 on his own while ds1 is at school. I get to do all the fun things I did with ds1- classes, playdates...it's like he is an only child till 4pm.
-I don't know if I would have had the patience for 2 small children at once! Ds1 was firmly established with a lot of things. Ds1 was potty trained, could buckle himself into the car, I didn't have to carry him places, and I really knew that I could let him do his routines so I didn't have to everything for 2 kids.
-Ds1 was also old enough to understand why I needed to tend to ds2 and didn't act out in jealousy.
-ds1 can watch ds2 while I cook dinner or take a shower. Eventually ds1 can babysit and do some driving duty.
-there are more pros like the fact that they do have each other but you get the gist.

Cons
-starting all over again. In a lot of ways that is a good thing but at times it can be overwhelming to realize how many more years it will be till ds2 is where ds1 is now.
-they do want to do different things and I can't be in 2 places at once. Often it works out because dh is there or I can get ds1 to go along with what ds2 wants to do. I still haven't totally worked out logistics when we go somewhere like the children's museum.
-they aren't as close with each other as some other siblings are. They are finding more to do together as they get older but I know ds1 wishes ds2 could do more than he can. It's true that around 18m they started to really play together.


The gap works for our family and I wouldn't change it.

Beth

[catcombs]

My first two are 19 months apart and the last two are 20 months apart. The thing I like about them all being close in age is that they play well together and the youngest doesn't grow up too fast (i.e. they will all watch Sesame Street together). The downside (as I see it) is that you don't get to revel in each child's babyhood. But I don't think there is a perfect formula - you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!

[infomama]

3 years 11 months. Wouldn't change a thing.

[arivecchi]

DS1 was 25 months old when DS2 was born. I wish I had waited a little longer (until DS1 was at least 3). I just wanted more alone time with my little guy. ;) It has worked out though. The first three months were bad and then we fell into our new groove.

[C99]

Mine are 28 and 23 months apart, respectively. I wanted to space them 3 years apart, but I don't know if I'd still be sane if I had a 7-y/o, 4-y/o and 1-y/o right now. This works for us, but it kind of has to, IYKWIM.

[cindys]

DS1 - DS2 - 14yrs difference

DS2 - DS3 - 31 months difference

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...18, 3 & 1

[JBaxter]

Ds1 to Ds2 is 3yrs.... I HIGHLY recommend that spacing worked fantastic only one in diapers!
DS2 to Ds3 is 9yrs.. Its a stretch but there was not much I could do about it .. became the big boys toy
Ds3 to Ds4 is 5 yrs. They are just starting to play together We were aiming for 3 yrs but that didnt happen and we really didnt think we could have any more. Jack is our bonus baby ;)

I really think it more the personality of the kids vs the spacing

[pinkmomagain]

Between 1 & 2 -- 2 years 8 months. This worked out very well.
Between 2 & 3 -- 6 years 5 months. This was NOT planned but is working out fine. I wish I had my 3rd 3 years after my 2nd and then fit in a 4th another 3 years later. But, alas, it is what it is..... everything happens for a reason.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

My boys are 3-1/2 years apart. It's really been great. No complaints.

I'm very happy that they are 4 years apart in school. It gives them a chance to be their own person at school.

They are starting to play together now at 5-1/2 and almost 2. We didn't have any issues with jealousy at all, but that could be more a function of personality.

I wasn't ready to have a baby before about 3 years apart, so that wasn't really an option.

[JTsMom]

When DS2 is born, DS1 will (probably) have just turned 5 within a few weeks. We didn't really plan it that way, it's just how it worked out. We originally had planned to TTC when DS turned 1, but for a few reasons, that didn't work well.

Now though, I think maybe it's a good thing things worked out this way. I'm really glad I've had so much time with just DS1, but I am sad that we probably won't have the chance to have a third.

[elephantmeg]

2 years and a month. The first year was HARD-esp the first summer-DS was a little over 2 and DD was a few months. But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! Love it!

[mamicka]

22 months, 27 months, & will be 3 years when the last one arrives.

I think any spacing can work - each child presents their own challenges & you can't predict.

[KrisM]

There are 2 years 5 weeks between DS1 and DD and 2 years 5.5 weeks between DD and DS2 :). We're fairly consistent, it seems.

More or less, it's a good spacing for us. It's starting to get easier overall with DS1 nearly 6. For example, DS1 can completely get ready to go play in the snow. DD can nearly get ready and only needs help with mittens. DS2 of course can't do it at all :). I am looking forward to not having a baby any more because I think we'll be able to do so much more.

On the plus side, haivng them within 4 years 3 months total, they have similar interests - we can plan vacations that will interest all the kids. I like that a lot.

[ilfaith]

My first two boys are 2 years, 2 months apart, and my third is 2 years, 10 months younger than DS2.

Got the first one in just before turning 35 and the last just before turning 40. I work well with tight deadlines.

[MMMommy]

14 months apart. It got much easier over time, and I expect it to be a lot easier in terms of drop-off and pick-up for school since they are only one grade apart. They are really close and the best of friends, so it is nice that they have a "built-in" playmate at home.

[ThreeofUs]

Our two are 3 years 9 months apart, and we love it. We like that our oldest is a much easier child now (he was very intense until about 3, can you tell?) and that they don't get into each other's way too much.

Have to say I know someone who has two sons 10 months apart, though, and they love it, too. Their kids never had awful sibling rivalry issues because they grew up more like twins. Neither of them could ever remember a time where there wasn't two kids. She said the first year, with two babies, was really awful, though....

[hellokitty]

DS1 and DS2 are only 18 mo apart. I had trouble getting pg with DS1, so we ttc'd earlier than anticipated, b/c I thought it would take a while to get pg again. Little did I know that I would get pg on the first try! Anyway, it was hellish, b/c DS1 was very spirited and DS2 was always fussy and high needs. BAAAAD combo!

We thought we were finished having kids, but I convinced DH to ttc again. DS2 and DS3 are 4 yrs apart. It is easier this time around, b/c the older two are more indep, and DS1 is in K and DS2 is in preschool, but it's harder too, b/c I have obligations to get them to and from school, so the baby gets lugged around.

Ideally, I think a gap of 2.5-3 yrs would be best. I am a bit afraid that DS3 won't be as close to DS1 and DS2, BUT so far they are crazy about him and he adores them. So, maybe they will be ok after all.

[Indianamom2]

Well, we initially planned to start trying again when DD#1 turned a year old. We had had a hard time getting pregnant with her and we had learned not to assume that it would be any easier the second time around.

Fast forward to actually having DD#1 and I was NO WHERE near ready to have another when she was a year old! No way, no how...

She was a little over 4 when we got pregnant with Ds #2 (on the first try this time!). So by the time he was born, they were 4 years, 10 months and 2 days apart.

I love the age gap. DD #1 adores her little brother and the feeling is mutual. They aren't trying to share the same toys. DD is definitely independent enought to go to the bathroom, get dressed and entertain herself. She is actually a really big help to me. I like that she is in school 4 days a week because that gives Ds #2 and me a couple of hours a day to ourselves, so I feel like he gets the attention he needs as well.

I can't imagine them any closer together, but a big part of that is the individual personalities (mainly my DD's) that are at play. It just would have been really, really rough to have them any closer together.

[hillview]

2 years 1 month apart

They fight a fair amount but also play together same games etc.
/hillary

[bluestarfish18]

Mine are 11 months apart. Surprise! We knew we wanted two children, just didn't exactly expect to have them so close.

It was an exceptionally difficult first year with both kids, but it is getting better as they are getting older (3 and 2)

In the same boat...11 months apart. No, we didn't plan it that way. But I'm glad they're close. They're best buds already, and DS is pretty advanced thanks to watching big bro.

[bubbaray]

almost 3 years. We think the spacing works well for us.

[scrooks]

2 years 2 months. It has worked ok for us. I wished DD was a bit older but I am glad she is still young enough to nap! I hope they will be close and that they play with eachother. We also wanted to leave the door open for a third if we decide we want one more. I really want to be done by the time I'm 35.

[WatchingThemGrow]

It's funny...from watching friends IRL, it seems to me you can't really plan how far apart they actually are. You aren't the one in charge of it IMO. I've often wondered why and how people develop their "preferences" in terms of spacing. I NEVER thought about it until we were already done, lol.

We were 35 when we got married and thought we'd just see what happened. It happened quickly, three times.

There are 18 months between each of our kids. IT IS CRAZY HERE. I don't have any other word for it. It's been totally fun, hilarious, stressful, exhausting, limiting, efficient, but wonderful in so many ways. I thought I might lose my mind during the first 6m of DS2's life, but with help and lots of prayer and encouragement IRL and from here, we're all still fine (and unmedicated.) A friend was just laughing at me while planning our trip to the children's museum tomorrow. I said I'll bring one of my double strollers (she said, "you've got two??", YES, and a triple) plus my Ergo. Our oldest is 3.75, and even though many other kids her age would not be seen in a stroller, she's endured a lot in her short life and has been accustomed to riding for mommy's sanity. Getting out by myself with all three is not as easy as it may seem.

My kids play together ALL.THE.TIME. They play with the same toys. They eat the same types of foods (except the baby), like the same activities, can wear the clothes a sibling wore the prior season, and have the same friends. They almost speak the same language. What's fun is that I'll see this "twin-ship" play out with DS1 and DS2 in another year or so. Then it will feel like we have triplets. If we need to buy diapers, I wait for the really good sales, because I'm buying 3 different sizes (DD sleeps in 7's). We buy stuff, use it 3x and sell it before it is outdated.

Maybe someone who is younger and has more energy could do this better, but I'm almost 40 and a little tired. I love the fact that my DC are a little pack of siblings who are in love with one another. The vacation thing a PP mentioned will be totally true for us. That will be great! School will be fun b/c we'll have DC in 3 of 4 grades. College...we should qualify for aid when they're all in college at the same time, right?

[smilequeen]

My boys are 32 months apart and I am thrilled with their age difference. Far enough apart that DS1 was somewhat self sufficient when DS2 was born. Close enough together that they play together really well. I'm a little nervous about the bigger gap when we have a third, but I'm sure it will be fine anyway.

[lilycat88]

Ours will be 2 weeks shy of 6 years apart. I definitely see many of the same pros and cons. In some ways I'm glad this one is a boy. DD was very sad at first to not be having a sister but I think it will be better for her right at the beginning especially. While it's way too strong to say it's going to be like having two families because of the age and gender difference but it sometimes seems like that.

[momof2girls]

Mine are just over 2.5 yrs apart and I wish they were a bit closer in age (maybe 18-mos to 2 yrs). I have 2 sibs and was always and still am very close with the one 18 mos older b/c we grew up doing everything the same whereas I am not so much with the sib 2.5 ys younger b/c the age gap was more apparent (and still is!)

However, DDs do play so nice together now that they are older and play with the same things. It is also great to be able to get rid of all the baby toys earlier on than if they spaced further apart. Most of their toys (and some clothes) are shared and they play with each other's friends nicely too.

[jgenie]

Mine are 2 years apart. DS1 is gaining independence but still needs me quite a bit. The next 18 months will be exhausting but I'm hoping the spacing will be nice as they grow. :)

[MommyAllison]

2.5 years apart, almost to the day. Love it!

[klwa]

Ours are 1 month shy of 3 years apart. The gap is good for us. My SIL's both had there's closer to 2 years apart & can't see how I could go 3 years between. :rolleye0014:

[Reyadawnbringer]

My first two are 19 months apart and the last two are 20 months apart. The thing I like about them all being close in age is that they play well together and the youngest doesn't grow up too fast (i.e. they will all watch Sesame Street together). The downside (as I see it) is that you don't get to revel in each child's babyhood. But I don't think there is a perfect formula - you get what you get and you don't throw a fit!

I'm sorry- totally OT but, I cracked up when I saw you say this. That phrase is used ALL the TIME around our house. I have never heard anyone else use it besides me and the person we picked it up from :D

[LarsMal]

DS and DD1 are 16 months apart and DD1 and DD2 are not quite 2.5 years apart. I had all three in just over 3 1/2 years. (DS was the only planned pregnancy.)

It works for me because I have no other choice! ;)

L&M have become pretty good playmates, so that part of it is really nice. I have basically been in diaper, BF, baby mode for 4 1/2 years, so I never had to start over and get back into it. It can be really overwhelming at times, but it can be really fun, too!

[Jacksmommy2b]

Mine are 3.5 years apart and I can't imagine how people do it with shorter spacing. J is self sufficent enough to be able to help himself when my hands are full. We also have had no jealousy issues at all. (J is a really old 3.5 though)

One of my bfs has a 4 y/o, a 3 y/o and a soon to be 2 y/o and she makes everything look easy - so I guess it really depends on what you can handle.

[pb&j]

3 years apart. My sister and I are also 3 year apart, so that is what I know, and it seems right to me. :)

[Melaine]

About 1 minute apart. To tell you the truth, I will probably try to space them a little farther apart next time. ;)

[Reyadawnbringer]

About 1 minute apart. To tell you the truth, I will probably try to space them a little farther apart next time. ;)

:hysterical: You crack me up.