mini-rant conundrum

[dmpearls]

my daughter's first birthday is coming up and we mailed out handmade invitations 2 weeks ago with an RSVP deadline. i have decided not to chase people (done that too many times for other things).

my question is: there are potentially 18 other children, ranging in age from newborn to 10, that may show up since their parents haven't RSVP'd either way. do i make goodie bags for all of them just in case? that seems like such a waste of time and money. do i just make goodie bags for those that bothered to RSVP? do i make, say, 4 extra? it's just hard because some are babies and some are 6 years old, so i wouldn't know how to make a "one size fits all" bag.

it is frustrating-- why can't people simply email yes or no?

any thoughts? thanks everyone!

[DebbieJ]

with that much of a swing, I would be calling to chase people down.

[KrisM]

I'd probably call, too, but understand the frustration completely.

I wouldn't make extra, unless you make them for all. Or, if you make 4 extra and 6 show, don't give any of those 6 a bag. Otherwise, how will you decide which of the non-RSVPing kids get a bag?

[elliput]

Nothing says you have to give goodie bags. You are providing entertainment, food and drink already, right?

[dmpearls]

it would be nice not to have to do goodie bags, but ada's 2 cousins are coming and my brother and SIL gave us special baby goodie bags for her at their parties, so i would feel bad if i didn't reciprocate for them. and i can't leave out the other kids, then.

sigh. i guess we'll have to hunt people down. or, more to the point, my husband will, since he wanted a big party (a rant for another thread:wink2:).

[crl]

Have you already gotten the goody bag supplies? If not, what about getting something super simple like bubbles or a ball for everyone. That way you aren't assembling different bags for different ages of people who may or may not even show up. I feel your pain as I had a similar problem with DS' birthday last year. In the end only people who had RSVPed yes came. . . .

Catherine

[nov04]

We did bookstore giftcards. we had more than enough and we'd use them anyway eventually. Takes care of the age range problem too.

[Melaine]

Have you already gotten the goody bag supplies? If not, what about getting something super simple like bubbles or a ball for everyone. That way you aren't assembling different bags for different ages of people who may or may not even show up. I feel your pain as I had a similar problem with DS' birthday last year. In the end only people who had RSVPed yes came. . . .

Catherine

Good idea. We gave each of our nieces and nephews an Oball and those went over very well. You could just tie a ribbon around each one and then return any that don't get used for the party.....just an idea.

[Tondi G]

this is why I do evites now. I spent so much time on invitations etc and so many people still had to be called or emailed to get them to RSVP. With evites you can send a quick reminder email and then those people who don't get it together to respond then they are just outta luck. I always have a few extra goodie bags... and we often have a few kids who say they are coming but get sick at the last minute etc so end up with additional favors. I would maybe buy a few packages of bubbles and have them waiting in case people did show up and didn't rsvp... that way their children don't leave empty handed but it's their parents fault that they don't get the fancy favor for not letting you know in advance that they were coming!

[dmpearls]

thanks for the great suggestions. about the bookstore gift cards-- how much did you give each child?

dh and i do a lot of entertaining and have found that with evites, people don't respond as well as they do with a written invitation. (plus, we like to do artsy stuff together and this way we will put a copy into ada's baby book.) i think i will do one more ask and whoever responds yes to that i will be that. then i will have 2 non-age-specific extra bags on hand.

sigh.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Did you only give 2 weeks notice on them?In the future, I would aim to get the invites to them 3-4 weeks before the event and make the RSVP date at the beginning of party week. Just a thought because it looks like you had a short window but I could be misreading. It does not always help with RSVP replies to give more time but maybe.

Beth

[wellyes]

All I can think it - with 18 "unknown" - must be one heck of a big party!

[sunshine873]

I was amazed at the amount of people who didn't RSVP that came to DD's 1st birthday party.

On the other-hand, they ended up balancing out those that said they were coming that didn't.

I'm one to buy a lot of extra just to make sure no one is left out. Let's talk about the 10 extra bouncy balls DD has been playing with since her birthday party...

[nov04]

thanks for the great suggestions. about the bookstore gift cards-- how much did you give each child?

We did $5 each. I know other parents try to keep it under that amt, but I splurged because we did almost no decorations and the ppl invited were very close friends of ours. They were very well received especially since I was able to find ones that mentioned the importance of that special book for a kid. We'll totally do them next year.

[dmpearls]

yeah, unfortunately, we had a bunch of factors that hindered our getting the invitations out: we are in the middle of renovating our house-to-be and are cramped into a small apartment, we couldn't find an indoor space to hold the party without spending $400+, plus my niece's birthday is around the same time which limited the date options, so we had to wait to send out invitations until we had an actual location (which we found for free!). and i did the 2 week RSVP knowing that i would have to chase people down and would need some time left to get paper goods and goodie bag items. and yes, dh is an extrovert and we have a large extended family, so quite a lot of invitations. figured the 1st is a big deal; we will have a smaller party in our future house next year.

another party question: must we open gifts at the party? i always find it a tedious part of the party and dd won't care either way. as long as we send lovely, timely thank you notes (and yet again, another possible rant thread-- why don't people send thank you notes anymore?!), is that okay?

[SnuggleBuggles]

You will get strong opinions both way on gift opening at parties. I am strongly in favor of opening gifts at parties. I know my family takes a lot of care to pick something special out and we like to see that gift opened and acknowledged in person.

It's more of an issue when the bday kid will really be aware so I could be willing to give you a bye on the 1st b-day. However, that was the most fun part of ds2's 1st birthday party- opening and playing with the presents. The guests and the b-day boy had a ton of fun with that. Now, ds1's party was much bigger and he was tired by the time gifts were opened so it wasn't as much fun.

Beth