kid funnies

[rlu]

two stories

yesterday my sister visited and when DS learned we were taking her home today, without comment to us, he packed a backpack to take to her house. I told him we weren't staying overnight at which point he opened the backpack to reveal a ton of toys.

on the way home today DS told me that the first time he rides "just two wheels" (takes off the training wheels) we should "wrap me in bubble wrap so I don't get hurt". I responded I thought his knee pads and elbow pads would be sufficient but he insisted bubble wrap would be better.

[mariza]

Cute stories! My DC's always try to smuggle a cache of toys when we go for a car ride, I had to impose a 2 toy per child limit!

My funny happened a few weeks ago, we went to church one Sunday and during the service the choir sang Amazing Grace, (DD's name is Grace) when it was over, DS looked at me and in his high pitched little voice said "are they gonna sing Amazing Alek now?" Loud enough for several rows of people to hear :ROTFLMAO:thankfully, it was the "family" service so there were tons of kids and parents that laughed with us!

[JMS]

Yesterday I was reminding DS1 that he didn't have (nursery) school and he said, "yeah, it's presents day!"

[HIU8]

Yesterday DD sang the blues to me. Her song--"I an't got no money b/c it fell on the floor" and she did some la la's and was using a pen as a drumstick on a chair. She started her song with a 1 and 2 and 3 and 4. I guess DH's dream of a drummer/musician in the family may come true (DH plays the drums).

[elizabethkott]

Just overheard from the bathroom:

"Wow! My poops are BIG!"
followed by...
"My penis is big too!!!"

Yeish.

[Cam&Clay]

Last night DS1 grabbed an icicle off the deck and brought it in the house to show DS2. DS2 proceeded to grab it, walk across the room, and plop it in my glass of Diet Coke.

DS1 and I cracked up!

[carolinamama]

Just overheard from the bathroom:

"Wow! My poops are BIG!"
followed by...
"My penis is big too!!!"

Yeish.

This sounds like something I have heard from our bathroom too. Boys.....I'm learning alot from these little guys. :ROTFLMAO:

[lalasmama]

"Mom, no one got in trouble at school today!" (Amazing, because Lala is off her ADHD meds this week; I was expecting a "yellow card" report. She's in full-day kindy.) Daycare mom laughs and proceeds to tell me they had a sub, so apparently, 1 kid took a nap all afternoon, and 3 kids were having a dance-off, and 2 kids were behaving when she (daycare mom) got there to get Lala. But no one got in trouble! :D

Several weeks ago, Lala started talking about fish that eat fingers, and how important it is to not stick your fingers in the new fish tank at school. She insisted there was an "ouchie fish" in it. She was seriously concerned about it; when we were at PetSmart getting me a fish for work, she begged that we didn't get an "ouchie fish". After a week, she asked me about an "ouchie eater fish". "Mom, how can it eat your owies? Especially when you can't put your owies in there!" Next time I picked her up from school, the mystery was solved. They have a tank filled with live plants, and have multiple algea eaters.

[randomkid]

Just overheard from the bathroom:

"Wow! My poops are BIG!"
Yeish.

I could answer a thread like this any day of the week with something funny that comes out of DD's little mouth. So, today's is...from the bathroom at the top of her lungs - "Mommy, I pooped! It's a big one! Come here, you HAVE to smell it!" Um, yeah...

[tamie]

Posted to FB last night:

"So happy the monkeys are in bed and am praying they will stay there. After fighting to get them to eat some dinner, I went to get towels while they were in the bath and returned to find the bathtub overflowing with bubbles. Yep, they dumped a whole bottle of shampoo in the tub. After a good scolding, I overheard B ...say to K "I guess its a good thing we already had dessert."

[StantonHyde]

One of my all time favorites:

Me to DS: How did you get to be such a whiner????
DD: Didn't your vulva make him that way? (meaning I gave birth to him)
Me: No honey, my vulva is not that powerful
DD: Mine is

You go girl!!!!!

[LarsMal]

The other day I asked DS to stop doing something and he continued to do it. I aksed again, and he ignored me. On the third attempt I went over to him, got in his face and sternly told him, "I asked you to stop twice- now STOP IT!" I didn't yet, just pulled out my old stern scary teacher voice! DS looked at me and yelled out, "OWWWWW!" I asked him what happened and he said, "OW! You hurt my feelings!" :ROTFLMAO:

[fauve01]

DD was intently watching the pairs silver-winning medalists skating their long program, and she said to me: "Daddy and I could do that, but first Daddy needs some practice."


LOL!!
Anne + DD 10-03

[SammyeGail]

I stayed with my sister a very short time when DH was activated in the Army Reserves while I was pregnant with the twins. My then 4 year old niece would inquire alot about the babies in my tummy. I was sure my sister had told her something about how babies grow in mommy's tummy's, I would dodge the question when she asked how they got there and tell my sister she is asking. I would tell her that is where babies grow and she could ask her mom about it.

After about a week, one afternoon after pre-school she pointed to her tummy and announced 'I don't have any babies in my tummy.' with a straight face. I said thats very good that she doesn't have any babies in her tummy. She said in a slightly scornful tone 'Yes it is very good I don't have babies in my tummy because I don't EAT BABIES!'

[Melaine]

I love these, they are too cute.

DD2 was on the toilet, calling me for assistance (seems like one of them always is). DD1 went to the door and said,
"I can help you, I'm Mama."
DD2: "No you are NOT Mama."
DD1: "Yes, I am Mama. See my long straight hair".

Maybe that isn't funny to everyone else, but it was to me since my hair could only be considered straight in comparison to DDs' hair which is curly to the max.