What is your daily routine--need guidence

[alumina]

I have a 7 1/2 month old and I was wondering what everyone's "average" day looked like. I feel like I watch too much TV and don't have enough structure to the day for her. She doesn't seem to mind tho--;-). I'd like some feedback on my "routine" and info on what other mothers do.

My husband works an irregular schedule that runs in a two week set--ie last Tuesday he worked from 9-5; today he works 3-9. He always works at least one 12 hour day (9-9) and every other weekend. My schedule when he works in the AM is wake up at 7:15am, express milk (I exclusively pump), get husband and baby up at 8am (if baby not up earlier), we get her changed & fed, husband gets ready for work & baby goes down for AM nap by 8:30-9am. Husband goes to work at 8:45am. Once baby is down for AM nap, I get dressed, eat breakfast, express milk again (I do it 6x/day) do housework until she wakes up (between 10:30-11:15AM). Then take her downsairs for the day--change & feed her lunch (milk & cereal). Then, playtime. I have the TV downstairs in our living room. TV is on then for the rest of the day. We play together on the floor with the TV on (usually either ESPN, discovery channel, or NCIS) until she is hungry again (about 2-3pm). Then she gets milk and goes down for afternoon nap (about 1-1 1/2). I pump some more, eat lunch, and do dishes. She then is up for a few more hours, eats (feeding on demand), plays on the floor with me, etc until my husband gets home (some days at 1:30pm, 3:30pm, some days at 5:30pm, some days at 9:30pm). She usually goes to bed between 10-11pm after she eats one last time. She seems to need that late night bottle still as I've tried to get her to bed earlier in the evening and she wakes up around then hungry. After she goes to bed around 11-11:30pm, she sleeps until 6:30-8am.
My biggest concern is how much TV she is exposed to. When we play on the floor, the TV is on and visible to her, but I keep her turned away (she can't crawl yet) and I engage her so she's not too interested in it. I know the day is coming when she's crawling and I don't want her fixated on the TV. But what am I to DO all day? I use the TV as company since my husband is gone for 8-12 hours a day & I got used to it when I was bedrest for 3 months. Most of my friends work and have children at least 1 year older than Grace and it's too cool outside to go for a walk or to the park. I don't have that many errands to run and I don't want to go to Target, etc if I don't need to get anything. Besides, going out with her still feels a bit like preparing for D-day: I try to time it so she's freshly changed & fed, not too tired, and I've recently pumped, so it's not so easy. Once the weather is warmer in 6 weeks and particularly once she's weaned (in July), we won't be at home as much, but I'm looking for ideas. We go to Kindermusik and church once a week, but that's all the structure I have. So, any suggestions?

[wellyes]

It sounds like a nice & normal schedule to me.

Maybe add a daily outside trip in the morning. Today it's snowing like crazy so we bundled up and goofed off in the yard for 10-15 minutes. Even that little bit of time puts her in good cheer and tuckers her out for nap.

And maybe, just to structure things a little more, maybe add an afternoon project or craft time..... simple stuff like "put the pasta pieces from bowl a to bowl b" or "put stickers on a piece of paper". The book Unplugged Play is great for ideas for stuff like that.

I personally would turn the TV off for most of the day, I've been listening to a whole lot more radio / ipod since DD came. What's helped is getting podcasts -- I like This American Life -- it engages me mentally which really helps. I've read that hearing talk radio is neutral for babies (does not help the same way hearing people talk does, but doesn't harm either). The bad part about TV is the flashing / changing images.

Having said that, I do watch Tivo sometimes when DD is playing in the same room as me. I just try to keep it to 30-60 minutes & avoid anything gory or upsetting (the local news, CSI, etc). I don't think it's a big deal if you're not actively having the baby watch. But I try to keep it to a minimum.

[SnuggleBuggles]

At that age (and even still now), mornings are almost always out. One or 2 weekday mornings we stay him sometimes. The other days we do playdates, go to the gym, run errands, go to the museum or similar... We either eat lunch out or come home to eat. After lunch, there's a bit of tv watching then nap time. After nap time we tend to be in for the day unless we need to run around with ds1.

Beth

[carolinamama]

With one kid at that age, I was home alot with him because of a morning and afternoon nap. My tv was definitely on more than it is now since I could watch a show while playing on the floor with DS. All we had structured was once a week Little Gym and then occasional playdates, but not often since I didn't really have too many mommy friends at that point. I did errands when we needed to do them, usually in between the two daily naps. Our schedule now is much different since DS1 goes to preschool 3 mornings a week and has more activities and playdates. Plus I have to be more organized with 2 kids and working part time.

[bigpassport]

Four days a week, our schedule with our 8 mo old DS is (times approximate, of course): Wake up 6:30-7:00. Bottle 7:30. Play on floor including reading board books until 9:00 or so. Snack (practice spoon feeding) 9:00. Play in jumperoo and/or on floor until 9:45 or so. 9:45 am bottle. 10-12 nap. After nap, change into daytime clothes and bottle. Try to run errands or do something to leave the house between 1-3 (both to get things done and to expose DS to the world). Bottle at 3. Nap from 3-5. Bottle at 5. DH comes home at 5:30 or so and he usually turns on the tv:( Daddy plays with DS while I make dinner. Bathtime starts at 7, last bottle, then bed usually by 8 pm. Sunday's schedule is similar to the above, but we do spend 3 hours at church. Three days a week DS goes to the babysiter and I work.

I keep the tv off all day because of articles I read saying that tv negatively affects language development. Of course, now that I'm trying to Google a succinct article for you, I can't find one.

[Roni]

Don't beat yourself up too much! Those early months are difficult. T.V. is your lifeline to the outside world. Yes, once the baby gets more engaged, you'll want to limit your t.v. watching (maybe keep it to her naps and after she's in bed). I wasn't good about this, but I wish I had been.

Before you know it, you will have a companion that can actually talk to you, and life will be different.

I think you're smart to not go shopping if you don't have to. Maybe you can find a play group nearby. You can check with the hospital where you gave birth. When she gets older, there's usually story time at the local library and more activities than you could ever want.

Just remember that this stage of life is so short, even though it seems like it will last forever. It sounds like what you're doing is really normal.

[Kymberley]

I could have written your post! I've been wanting to ask this exact question, so thank you for putting it out there. DH is gone nearly 14 hours a day, all of my friends work, and only one has a child, and she's 3. When it warms up, I'd love to hook up with some other mothers at gym, library, playgroup type settings, but I have no idea of how to find them. I live in the country, but not to far away from a decent size city, so there has to be something out there. Too bad you don't live near me, we could have playdates!

[ourbabygirl]

I would just add to try to do an outing each day to get into the outside world and to break up the day/ make time go faster if your DD is particularly fussy/ having an off day (or you are!). It sounds like a PITB, but really, it's so worth it if you can do it! And yeah, get outside as much as you can (I should follow my own advice more), even if for just 10 or 15 minutes each day, so you both can get some fresh air and your little one can get some Vitamin D (if the sun's out). You can pull her in a sled around the yard/ take a stroller walk to the park and push her on a baby swing/ just carry her around the yard and look at the trees and talk about what you see.
The transition from working full time in a setting with lots of people and lots of structure and a tight schedule (high school) to becoming a SAHM has been quite a big one for me, and 16 months later I'm still trying to adapt to the changes! :) I've found what's really helped is having something planned to go do each day, whenever possible. This gives you and your kid something to look forward to, and maybe even some new friends (or at least acquaintances) that you'll see each week. I hardly ever have the t.v. on here, but I guess my connection to the outside world and 'reality' outside of our 'home bubble' is this board and just getting out and doing stuff. One of the tricky things is finding things to do that are free (as you've referred to w/the Target comment)! Since DD is mostly down to one afternoon nap each day and can often make it w/o a morning nap, we'll do our outings in the mornings. So Monday mornings we'll go to a local library story time (free), although I know that Barnes and Noble (and other chain or independent book stores) also do them; you can look on their website to find out. Tuesdays I like to go to ECFE w/DD (though this past session we skipped because she's still been napping in the a.m. off and on). Wednesday and Friday mornings I'll take her to a drop-in-and-play time done through ECFE at our local school. It works out to about $2.50 per time (2.5 hours; go when you can & leave when you need to) and is just great for having other kids for her to interact with, along with adults for me to talk to and activities to do (art stuff, toys, books, and also play time in the gym). Thursdays my mom often watches her. We've also done a Music Together class, which we both *really* enjoyed, and I'm hoping to do another one this summer. Also swimming lessons- they can start those really early.
Other things you can do: play dates (host or go to them- see if there are groups near you; often churches will have them associated with a bible study), go to the park (when the weather is nice); go to the zoo (that's the one membership we have that I think is worth the money; it's great no matter what the weather is like & any age kid will enjoy it), walk (stroller) around at a mall and go to the little play area if there is one.
ECFE is wonderful, though, and I highly recommend it! :thumbsup:

Good luck! :grouphug:

[WatchingThemGrow]

I'm impressed with your routine! It's roughly the same that we do although I'm not pumping anymore. We do have to run out here and there for preschool pickup (nearby) and random stuff, but I try to give DS2 as much crawl around time as possible. No idea on the random shift thing, but I'd probably try to make your meals roughly the same time every day, just to make it routine.

As far as the TV and the baby being exposed, I'd try to pick a show or two you really like and just watch those. I don't like the TV on much, and I've really created a problem. When I was pg with #2, I let DD watch a bit. When I was pg with #3, DD and DS1 got hooked on Curious George. They're really bad about demanding it now, so I've tried to wean them. DS2 knows it is on and will sometimes tune in. That's when I put his favorite toys elsewhere in the room so he goes to get them. Then I set up a new activity for the big DC to draw them away as soon as it is over.

For you, is there anything you could get interested in or read about (or just post here :) ) so it wouldn't be the visual stuff that concerns you? I read some great books early on about feeding, etc. Now I wish I could do the same. Not always playing on the floor with mine seemed to give them some independence which is helpful.

[Momit]

We did swimming lessons starting at 6 months and really enjoyed it.

I also found that when we had some little outing each day, it was really good. Sometimes just a stroll around the yard or neighborhood, or to a farmers market (maybe not at this time of year!), to the library etc. Leaving the house was an ordeal at first but we got better with practice.

I did often have the TV on when I was breastfeeding - don't feel bad about that! DS rarely watches it now that he's a toddler.

[alumina]

Thank you all for the feedback. It's very encouraging to know that I'm not the only one. I've switched to listening to radio & podcasts (there are some great children's story ones) and gave myself permission to watch tv after 6pm. Most of the time I don't feel the need to until later than that or until DH gets home. Just one more month until spring! BTW--what is ECFE?






I would just add to try to do an outing each day to get into the outside world and to break up the day/ make time go faster if your DD is particularly fussy/ having an off day (or you are!). It sounds like a PITB, but really, it's so worth it if you can do it! And yeah, get outside as much as you can (I should follow my own advice more), even if for just 10 or 15 minutes each day, so you both can get some fresh air and your little one can get some Vitamin D (if the sun's out). You can pull her in a sled around the yard/ take a stroller walk to the park and push her on a baby swing/ just carry her around the yard and look at the trees and talk about what you see.
The transition from working full time in a setting with lots of people and lots of structure and a tight schedule (high school) to becoming a SAHM has been quite a big one for me, and 16 months later I'm still trying to adapt to the changes! :) I've found what's really helped is having something planned to go do each day, whenever possible. This gives you and your kid something to look forward to, and maybe even some new friends (or at least acquaintances) that you'll see each week. I hardly ever have the t.v. on here, but I guess my connection to the outside world and 'reality' outside of our 'home bubble' is this board and just getting out and doing stuff. One of the tricky things is finding things to do that are free (as you've referred to w/the Target comment)! Since DD is mostly down to one afternoon nap each day and can often make it w/o a morning nap, we'll do our outings in the mornings. So Monday mornings we'll go to a local library story time (free), although I know that Barnes and Noble (and other chain or independent book stores) also do them; you can look on their website to find out. Tuesdays I like to go to ECFE w/DD (though this past session we skipped because she's still been napping in the a.m. off and on). Wednesday and Friday mornings I'll take her to a drop-in-and-play time done through ECFE at our local school. It works out to about $2.50 per time (2.5 hours; go when you can & leave when you need to) and is just great for having other kids for her to interact with, along with adults for me to talk to and activities to do (art stuff, toys, books, and also play time in the gym). Thursdays my mom often watches her. We've also done a Music Together class, which we both *really* enjoyed, and I'm hoping to do another one this summer. Also swimming lessons- they can start those really early.
Other things you can do: play dates (host or go to them- see if there are groups near you; often churches will have them associated with a bible study), go to the park (when the weather is nice); go to the zoo (that's the one membership we have that I think is worth the money; it's great no matter what the weather is like & any age kid will enjoy it), walk (stroller) around at a mall and go to the little play area if there is one.
ECFE is wonderful, though, and I highly recommend it! :thumbsup:

Good luck! :grouphug: