At night, does your DH hear the baby cry?

[catpagmo]

Because mine never does. I often wonder if it is all men (I know this is a huge generalization) or just my DH. :)
I always hear the baby. Always. I have never slept through him crying or fussing.

What about your DH?

[truly scrumptious]

I found that I was super tuned in to DS - much more so than DH. I would wake up at the slightest fussing sound, which was frequently useless because babies are noisy sleepers, and that didn't mean I needed to go in.
It got to a point where we didn't go in unless he was fussing loudly enough for both of us to hear, because that meant something truly needed to be done. Then we would take turns getting up. (Sometimes I'd "help" things along by elbowing DH when it was his turn :innocent: )
The first time I slept through one of DS's crying/fussing incidents, he was over a year old, and when DH told me about it in the morning, I refused to believe him!

ETA - I do think we are biologically tuned in to hear - moreso than DH's. That is why God gave us elbows to wake them up with! ;)

[ourbabygirl]

Uh, nope. Mine doesn't either, 16 months later. Our mother's instinct wakes us up as soon as baby makes a sound, but daddy just dozes through it all ;). At least DH gave me permission to wake him up to go deal with her (back when she wasn't sleeping through the night and I didn't want/ need to nurse her).

[niccig]

Ha Ha Ha...sorry laughing here.

DH hears as not a light sleeper, but I've always gotten up to go to DS. Mostly because when he was a baby I was breastfeeding and I'm a SAHM, so I took the nights and DH took the early mornings (5am until leave for work). It's what worked for us. If I had been WOHM or WAHM, I would have made DH get up for his share.

Depending on how understanding DH had been about the difficulties of being the main care giver, would determine how quiet I was when I got out of bed. Some nights I was quiet, and some I was not ;)

I do agree with the others that I could hear DS before DH. I can still do that now and DS is 5 yo, I can hear him across a noisy crowded playground and DH didn't hear him....mother's ear I suppose.

[WatchingThemGrow]

DH does. I don't.

[Cheburashka]

Mine could sleep through a bomb dropping, I swear. One morning DD and I went to lay in bed with him and watch a little tv, and DD starts screaming, almost right in his ear. He rolled over, stayed asleep. If I need help with the baby early in the morning before he's gotten up, I have to go wake him up. No matter how loud she's crying.

[Reyadawnbringer]

DH NEVER hears DS cry. Then again... I am not sure what you would be able to hear over the roaring freight train that is DH's snoring.

[wellyes]

Yes but he pretends to still be sleeping sometimes. Less so since I've had preg tireness, which is nice of him.

[Reyadawnbringer]

Depending on how understanding DH had been about the difficulties of being the main care giver, would determine how quiet I was when I got out of bed. Some nights I was quiet, and some I was not ;)



:hysterical: that is so me too! LOL

[sarahsthreads]

Never, ever, ever. I work evenings, and a few times I've come home to find DH sound asleep on the couch with the monitor next to his head and DD2 screaming her head off. He never knows when I was up every hour all night with a crying baby, and doesn't even notice when DD1 crawls into bed with us in the middle of the night.

I often joke (but I'm really actually serious) that if I ever had to be gone overnight I'd have to hire a night nanny for the three of them!

Sarah :)

[happymom]

My DH hears DD as much as I do. We usually both wake up when she cries. Every so often, if I'm in a very deep sleep, I may not hear her right away and DH will wake me, and vice versa. He's great about going into her or bringing her to me most of the time. I'm so grateful for that because I usually feel half-dead when I'm woken in middle of the night!

[Twoboos]

HAHAHAHAHA. No. Not when they were babies, not now when they come into our room in the middle of the night and have a conversation with me, and I go back with them into their room, and then come back into our room.... never-ever.

When they were babies I nearly killed him many times when he would wake up and say all refreshed and perky, "WOW, isn't it great everyone slept through the night!" Yah, just you DH. Just you.

[scrooks]

Uh...NO WAY!
I hear a pin drop on either kids montior and I am awake.
I do have to say, he is good about jumping out of bed when the alarm (an actual loud beep beep sound) goes off on DS's monitor. We have one of those angelcare monitors and lately the more he moves away from the center of the crib (the location of the sensor) at night the more false alarms we get. DH is usually in his room in about 5 seconds!

[LarsMal]

ummm....NOPE! C is teething and has been waking up 2-3 times a night for the past several nights. I am still EBF so DH really can't do much, but he doesn't hear her anyway. He'll wake up and comment on the great night sleep we had. WE?!?!?!

I hear everything. I haven't slept well since the 3rd trimester of my first pregnancy...so almost 5 years now!!!

[codex57]

DW sleeps with DS and I sleep in the room with DD (the infant), so yeah, I hear her.

[Reyadawnbringer]

When they were babies I nearly killed him many times when he would wake up and say all refreshed and perky, "WOW, isn't it great everyone slept through the night!" Yah, just you DH. Just you.


:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: SOrry, that one almost made me spit out my water. DH's can be so clueless sometimes.

That reminds me of the times when DH says I kept him up all night with my snoring... um, no DH- that was just your own snoring.

[arivecchi]

DW sleeps with DS and I sleep in the room with DD (the infant), so yeah, I hear her. Cool Codex. :)

DH does hear sometimes but keeps on snoozing. He says he relies on my supersonic hearing.

[vonfirmath]

In the middle of the night, DH is more likely to hear our child cry than I am *blush* It makes me feel like a TERRIBLE mother not to be woken up by my kid crying!

[catpagmo]

Depending on how understanding DH had been about the difficulties of being the main care giver, would determine how quiet I was when I got out of bed. Some nights I was quiet, and some I was not ;)



Ha! Glad I'm not the only one!



When they were babies I nearly killed him many times when he would wake up and say all refreshed and perky, "WOW, isn't it great everyone slept through the night!" Yah, just you DH. Just you.

:ROTFLMAO: OMG, this is so funny!

Men. ....sigh

[baymom]

When they were babies I nearly killed him many times when he would wake up and say all refreshed and perky, "WOW, isn't it great everyone slept through the night!" Yah, just you DH. Just you.


:yeahthat::hysterical: It was EXACTLY like that for us until our youngest was about 1 1/2 and then once I stopped nursing, it just switched. The funny thing is that even if I DO wake up in the middle of the night when they need to use the potty or get a drink of water, they don't want me, they want DH! Sweet justice! :rotflmao:

[elektra]

He usually snores right through it.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Not always. Didn't matter if he heard them or not though because we took turns and I would wake him up when it was his turn. There is no way in heck that I would put up with a dh that did not share night time duties. I breastfed but that just meant I made dh get the babies and bring them to me for nursing and he was also responsible for any general soothing, diapers changes or other night time parenting.

eta- I don't care about the SAH/ work dynamic in this. Unless they work in an industry where the slightest mistake could mean life or death then I think both parents need sleep equally. I don't think we owe the spouse that works outside the home a free pass on this stage of life. But, if it works for your marriage and you are happy with it then that's what matters. I just know that I would be super cranky and a not so great SAHM if I was constantly on night time parenting duty with no help. I'm cranky enough with enough sleep. :)

Beth

[gatorsmom]

Yes, but usually I hear the baby/kids before him. Usually I'll wake up and hear one of the kids crying but wait a bit to see if they'll fall back asleep. While I'm awake waiting DH usually rolls over and says, "So and so's crying. Are you going to get that?" :irked:

[elliput]

Yes. However, we co-sleep so the baby crying is just inches from his ear. :)

[kijip]

Every morning between 4:30 and 6:00, Finn wakes up and my husband springs out of bed, gets him up, changes him, brings him to me to nurse and goes back to sleep for a little bit. When Finn is done nursing (he nurses for the longest in the morning), my husband gets up and takes him downstairs and feeds him breakfast and pulls together breakfast for the rest of us while I catch a few more minutes and then I get ready and pack lunches. My husband hears him before I do. There have even been times I was so tired, I barely recalled nursing (I am a side sleeper and my husband has actually rolled me over after Finn was done with one side). Normally I can't sleep and nurse but in the early mornings I can. For the random other wakings, again, it's usually J getting him and doing the soothing, changing, singing. If I am already wide awake, I let my husband sleep to give him a break. But he does nearly all of the nighttime parenting besides the lactating. Believe me, there are many mornings that I am glad I married the man that I did, for many reasons, but this reason is very, very high on the list.

There have been a couple of times where we are both asleep that I have heard T and F before my husband but that is when he is operating on little to no sleep. Like working doubles and staying up to study and needing to be to work shortly on 3 hours total sleep (rare).

[jenfromnj]

Every morning between 4:30 and 6:00, Finn wakes up and my husband springs out of bed, gets him up, changes him, brings him to me to nurse and goes back to sleep for a little bit. When Finn is done nursing (he nurses for the longest in the morning), my husband gets up and takes him downstairs and feeds him breakfast and pulls together breakfast for the rest of us while I catch a few more minutes and then I get ready and pack lunches. My husband hears him before I do.



Now that's a great husband!

DH rarely hears DS at night, and on the rare occasions he does, he pretends not to and thinks I don't notice. I've definitely resorted to getting out of bed very loudly at times, especially since DS isn't quite sleeping through the night yet at 11 months.

[rachelh]

Ohhh I am evil when it comes to this. DH could have screaming in his ear and not hear it - or maybe he pretends not to. When DD would wake in the middle of the night, I would often roll over violently on the bed to get him to wake up. Now, if DD wakes up I wake him and tell him "can you see whats going on? I was just up with her earlier" or "I literally just fell asleep." After a little nudging it generally works :ROTFLMAO:

[fivi2]

For the first two years or so, dh would sleep through everything. I would send him in sometimes, but like pp, because of the work/SAHM issue, I was usually the one to go in.

Now, we are equally likely to hear or sleep through. Our girls are 4 and going through a night time waking patch and I would say it is about 50/50 as to who hears them (and deals with it) first.

[lchang25000]

I found that I was super tuned in to DS - much more so than DH. I would wake up at the slightest fussing sound, which was frequently useless because babies are noisy sleepers, and that didn't mean I needed to go in.

ETA - I do think we are biologically tuned in to hear - moreso than DH's. That is why God gave us elbows to wake them up with! ;)

:yeahthat:

[ilfaith]

Nope. But DH is actually deaf in his left ear. And of course he sleeps on his right side. We have the alarm set very loud, much louder than the sound of a crying baby coming through the monitor.

[crl]

DH sometimes hears DS when I don't and vice versa.

Catherine

[clc053103]

Not unless I kick him.

[kmillini]

Another no. I became a lot lighter sleeper after having DS. Things wake me up now that didn't wake me up before DS. When DS was little and I had just BF and knew he wasn't hungry yet, I had to kick DH to wake him up. Now that DS is older (20 months) and a little louder, DH will wake up sometimes in the middle of the night. Once before DS was born, someone was pounding at our back door at 3 am. We live in the middle of the country. Their truck was on fire. I had to wake DH up to go get the door.

[Claki]

Now that's a great husband!

DH rarely hears DS at night, and on the rare occasions he does, he pretends not to and thinks I don't notice. I've definitely resorted to getting out of bed very loudly at times, especially since DS isn't quite sleeping through the night yet at 11 months.

:yeahthat:

[Melaine]

No he doesn't. In his defense, he is a very sound sleeper and I am a very light one but that really doesn't help, especially when it's the middle of the night and you have TWO newborns to deal with.

[carolinamama]

Two bf'd babies later, I'm not sure DH has ever heard them in the middle of the night. I have elbowed him when I needed relief and they didn't need to nurse, but other than that, he sleeps soundly through it all. I hear all their little noises and can't stand to have my babies sleep in the same room with me because I won't get any sleep though. I'm not a particularly light sleeper but I think I've always been pretty tuned into my boys.

[kcandz]

FWIW, a study was done that proved that men don't hear babies cry at night - they will wake up to car alarms first.

http://tinyurl.com/y9nofag

[Gena]

My husband would probably sleep through the Apocalypse, so there's no way our crying child would wake him. We co-slept when DS was an infant, and even then DH didn't hear him.

[hillview]

DH doesn't wake up as often as I do HOWEVER I don't have any issue with kicking him /poking him to get up to balance the work. He is almost always fine to get up. We try to share this more or less.
/hillary

[cindys]

HA...He hears the baby but acts like he doesnt! :D

ETA: He does get up with the 3yr old when he has to go potty or has wet himself..I am very thankful for that!

[catpagmo]

The funny thing is that even if I DO wake up in the middle of the night when they need to use the potty or get a drink of water, they don't want me, they want DH! Sweet justice! :rotflmao:

That's hilarious! I love it when that happens here. Rare, but sometimes, it happens!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

OMG my DH *never* hears the baby cry..it's nuts! . in the middle of the night DS could be crying his head off in the very next room and my DH just does not hear it! I on the other hand would be 2 or 3 rooms away and I would quickly wake up to his cries and run over. it doesn't really matter for us since i am breastfeeding so it's not like DH really has to be there. but sometimes i want help with changing a diaper or something and my DH would literally not wake up even when i call him that i need his help.

I'm guessing women are just hard-wired to hear babies' cries better, even thru sleep. Good thing because if it had been up to men caring for babies the human race would have died out long ago. good thing i never have to leave DS with DH by himself for any extended period of time (e.g. several days), or i'd worry my DS would starve at night. lol

[catpagmo]

Every morning between 4:30 and 6:00, Finn wakes up and my husband springs out of bed, gets him up, changes him, brings him to me to nurse and goes back to sleep for a little bit. When Finn is done nursing (he nurses for the longest in the morning), my husband gets up and takes him downstairs and feeds him breakfast and pulls together breakfast for the rest of us while I catch a few more minutes and then I get ready and pack lunches. My husband hears him before I do. There have even been times I was so tired, I barely recalled nursing (I am a side sleeper and my husband has actually rolled me over after Finn was done with one side). Normally I can't sleep and nurse but in the early mornings I can. For the random other wakings, again, it's usually J getting him and doing the soothing, changing, singing. If I am already wide awake, I let my husband sleep to give him a break. But he does nearly all of the nighttime parenting besides the lactating. Believe me, there are many mornings that I am glad I married the man that I did, for many reasons, but this reason is very, very high on the list.

There have been a couple of times where we are both asleep that I have heard T and F before my husband but that is when he is operating on little to no sleep. Like working doubles and staying up to study and needing to be to work shortly on 3 hours total sleep (rare).

Ummm, could your DH talk to my DH? lol Your DH sounds amazing!

[catpagmo]

Not unless I kick him.

:hysterical: OMG, you guys are so funny! I'm loving all the responses!

[SnuggleBuggles]

OMG my DH *never* hears the baby cry..it's nuts! . in the middle of the night DS could be crying his head off in the very next room and my DH just does not hear it! I on the other hand would be 2 or 3 rooms away and I would quickly wake up to his cries and run over. it doesn't really matter for us since i am breastfeeding so it's not like DH really has to be there. but sometimes i want help with changing a diaper or something and my DH would literally not wake up even when i call him that i need his help.

I'm guessing women are just hard-wired to hear babies' cries better, even thru sleep. Good thing because if it had been up to men caring for babies the human race would have died out long ago. good thing i never have to leave DS with DH by himself for any extended period of time (e.g. several days), or i'd worry my DS would starve at night. lol


As others have said, you need to start kicking him. It works well. :D

[bnme]

DH did not hear the crying. But I don't buy it. I think it is a conspiracay.

[jse107]

DH did not hear the crying. But I don't buy it. I think it is a conspiracay.

I say that all the time!!

[pb&j]

Yes. He's a very light sleeper. These days, he gets up when DS calls for him, and I'm on duty for DD. Which is an okay deal for me, as DS gets up almost every night and DD is sleeping through (knock on wood!!!!).

[schrocat]

Yes. He hears the baby cry. DH looks after the baby at night. He likes me to get a good night's sleep.

[melrose7]

DH hears every little noise around the house or outside but for some reason he doesn't hear a crying baby. When we were dating and he would come and visit and stay the night he had trouble sleeping because he would hear the bus outside. Now he can hear coyotes outside that are probably a few miles away but he can sleep right through the baby in the next room. He works 3rd shift so it's just me during the week anyway so on the weekends I do make sure to kick or elbow him. the kids sleep good now but any day now we'll be starting all over again.

[gobadgers]

DH does almost all the nighttime/early morning work in our house right now. Until DS was 5 or 6 months old, I heard him and usually got up before DH, but these days I don't always even wake up. DH deals with both DD and DS, and in the morning he fills me in on the night. DH has his moments, but I am so thankful for this!

[Andi98989]

He's pretty much never really woken up when DS cries during the night - not even when the 3 of us were sharing a hospital room! :rotflmao:

Lately DH has been falling alseep on the couch. He'll get so far as turning off the TV, but it's apparently too much work to actually get up and come to bed. I'll wake up when I hear DS fussing for his pacifier, give that to him, come turn off the lamps, and start the dishwasher. DH sleeps on.

We both work, but I function much better on interrupted sleep than he does, and it's faster for me to go quick deal with DS than it is to try and get DH up and have him go in. I'd still be awake for that time, anyway.

On Saturday and Sunday mornings, though, DH gets up with him in the morning and they play for a while so that I can get some more sleep. The last 2 weekends though he's taken to bringing DS in when apparently he's decided I've had enough sleep .... :rolleye0014:

[mom_hanna]

When they were babies, I was the one who woke up at every noise. Now, DH is more likely to hear them than I am. I often sleep through when he gets up with them. the only time I hear them before him is the early morning (5am and later) and then I get up with them.

[precious4hug]

I think my DH learned to ignore the baby's crying voice at night after a while. :P

[wifecat]

My dh almost never hears her cry. After about the first three weeks, he was immune. My father visited at five weeks...he slept so soundly that the next morning he said I must feel really rested since she slept through the night. Ha! She was up every 1-2 hrs the whole night! Men.

[jgenie]

Ummm....never. DS2 hates to have his diaper changed and will scream bloody murder while it's being done. DH sleeps right through it and we're all in the same room. I take night time duties because I do better on little sleep - DH not so much. on the weekends DH handles DS1 until I come out of our room. This past Sunday it was 11:00 when I came out. :D