What to do when your parents plan to use your baby crib and mattress for your child?

[megan973]

I'm sure a number of people have gone through this.

My sister and I are pregnant at the same time (due April and June). Our parents have pulled the crib they used for us out from the basement (It's been at least 25 years since it's been used). It is a drop side crib (both sides). It seems to be in good shape, but the old mattress feels like a marshmallow - it's so soft. I can also fit more than 2 fingers between the crib frame and the mattress.

She did buy new bedding, but the bumper only has 6 ties on the entire thing, and I can pull it a good 9 inches away from the crib.

After all of my reading, I do not want my baby to be sleeping in this crib as it is now. (Not sure if my mom is expecting a ton of overnights or something... she did buy a brand new PnP, so I think that would work just fine).

So, how can my sister and I tell her (gently) that we are not comfortable with this set-up? Should we split the cost of the new mattress? Encourage her to leave off the bumpers?

The crib slat openings are 2" apart, so I think those are okay... just worried about the drop side part.

Any advice? (Things have been tense enough with two of us that I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her made b/c she is trying very hard to please.)

[arivecchi]

That does not sounds safe. I would not be comfortable with a 25 year old drop side crib and a super soft old mattress. I would explain that old cribs are not safe and that new hard mattesses are best to avoid SIDS. Can you buy her a copy of baby Bargains as a gift? That will bring her up to date in baby safety standards and will also help her spend her money on good baby gear items if she decides to spend on those. I've had this same issue and it is hard, but really, my baby's safety comes first.

[Melaine]

Tell them it is not safe to use such an old crib and mattress. It is recommended that used crib mattresses never be used for a second child (SIDS risk) and a crib that old has likely been recalled or should have been. There is no way I'd use either one. Is this for the grandparents house or your house? There are inexpensive, safe crib options (such as Ikea) but if it is just for occasional use you might be fine bringing a pack 'n play.

[arivecchi]

Also, bumpers are not safe. They are a suffocation hazard. You should have a pretty simple sleeping environment. Preferably a stationary crib (or pack n play), a sheet that has elastic throughout and fits snuggly, a hard mattress (you can add a mattress cover that fits snuggly) and (I would suggest) halo sleepsacks (once you are past the swaddling stage). Can you and your sister buy a stationary crib from Ikea and a mattress from there as well. That should not be too much $$$ and your DC would be safe. A pack n play would be another idea.

[PearlsMom]

I'd just deal with it when it comes up. Right now, let your mom be happy at the cute crib she's designed and can show off to her grandma friends. It can be a place to store toys for the grandbabies as they get bigger. If there's ever an overnight or nap situation, just say you only want DC to sleep in the PnP because it's firmer. Don't know why she'd need a crib AND a PnP anyway, so I'm assuming it's more for looks than anything else. Or feel free to tell her you've "just read" some horrible stories about reusing cribs/soft mattresses/bumpers. My mom and MIL are pretty on the ball about safety issues like this, but I still try not to hurt their feelings when they pick something I wouldn't use in a million years.

[vtmom]

I had the same situation with my mom AND MIL. I'd bring it up ASAP before she spends more money and/or gets too attached to the cute set-up she's created. I simply said, "Boy! With the new safety regulations on cribs and baby stuff, it's a wonder all us kids born and raised in the 70's/80's survived! Take a look at this." and then I handed over a copy of something with the safety guidelines recommended today. They both knew right away that my and DH's old cribs weren't going to cut it. You could also bring up the news and updates section of the baby bargains site and show your mom the post where it mentions that most manufacturers aren't even making drop side cribs anymore (or something like that).

[arivecchi]

I had the same situation with my mom AND MIL. I'd bring it up ASAP before she spends more money and/or gets too attached to the cute set-up she's created. :yeahthat:

[hillview]

I'd raise it and suggest that the PNP is best. Google crib recalls and that is enough to scare anyone. You can say you talked to your pedi etc.

Congrats!
/hillary

[newg]

My mom really wanted to use our old crib as well.......25+ years old...........it passed the pop can test, but I read off the other stuff.........spindles, possible old/warped wood, routed out screws or pieces missing.....plus drop-side cribs are recalled across the board now for saftey reasons...........and the whole SIDS thing with soft bedding.....that made it alot easier for my mom to understand it wasn't that I didn't want my crib for DD, I just wanted to keep DD as safe as possible (which she wanted too)

I think if you just go with the facts (like pp mentioned show her articles, the BBB book) and don't make it personal, she might take it better............
Plus BRU might have another trade-in event, so she could trade in the crib and use the coupon to get a new crib or another PnP

[zag95]

I had the same situation with my mom AND MIL. I'd bring it up ASAP before she spends more money and/or gets too attached to the cute set-up she's created. I simply said, "Boy! With the new safety regulations on cribs and baby stuff, it's a wonder all us kids born and raised in the 70's/80's survived! Take a look at this." and then I handed over a copy of something with the safety guidelines recommended today. They both knew right away that my and DH's old cribs weren't going to cut it. You could also bring up the news and updates section of the baby bargains site and show your mom the post where it mentions that most manufacturers aren't even making drop side cribs anymore (or something like that).

:yeahthat: I did this too- it worked like a charm! All you have to do is measure the slats- and read off information from one of the many safety websites. My mom got rid of the crib that she used in 1972 with me and my bro (75) just before my daughter was born in 2008! She got a more "updated" and safer crib from one of her friends! Maybe your mom has a friend she can score one from?

GL!

[California]

You've already gotten a lot of good suggestions on how to approach this. I wanted to add:

Is it very sweet or just very thrifty that she kept your old crib? If she hosts a shower for you (I know a no no to some people but OK in my circle of friends) I'd put the crib in the corner with the side down and fill it with presents as guests arrive! How many people have their childhood crib to share? Give it a proper farewell :)

[megan973]

Thanks for all the feedback. Guess I'll have to talk to my sister and see what she thinks.

[srhs]

JMHO, but before I made a blanket, "It's probably not safe" statement (and I agree it probably is NOT), I'd try to find a label on that thing. Then, look it up to see if you can find a specific recall. That'd be easier to show her than matching your opinion up against hers.

If it hasn't officially been recalled, look for something concrete to show her about why old/used cribs are just not cool.

And the mattress? Show her the portion in the the BBB with the study that recommends to not even use a mattress again for a second child. Ucky-icky leaks and spit-ups have been hanging out in that thing.