PDA

View Full Version : What was your reaction when you first learned you were pregnant?



arivecchi
02-23-2010, 05:10 PM
I hate to admit it, but mine was fear (even though it was planned). I was afraid of how my life would change, afraid of losing my independence, afraid of what it would do to my body, afraid of the actual birthing process....I could go on and on. I am so glad I had my kiddos, but boy, it was a process. There I said it. I have always been jealous of women who are so ecstatic right off the bat. Not me. Same with DS2 except that I added being terrified of my relationship with DS1 changing forever.

gatorsmom
02-23-2010, 05:14 PM
I hate to admit it, but mine was fear (even though it was planned). I was afraid of how my life would change, afraid of losing my independence, afraid of what it would do to my body, afraid of the actual birthing process....I could go on and on. I am so glad I had my kiddos, but boy, it was a process. There I said it. I have always been jealous of women who are so ecstatic right off the bat. .

This was me but then add to that list the guilt I felt when I miscarried the first one.

I felt a lot less of those scary emotions with the second pregnancy but they were still there. I didn't feel any of that with the third pregnancy, however, my mother had just died 3 months before I gave birth so I had a totally different array of emotions floating through my conscious and subconscious.....

lchang25000
02-23-2010, 05:16 PM
This was me but then add to that list the guilt I felt when I miscarried the first one.


:yeahthat:

pb&j
02-23-2010, 05:17 PM
For the first one, that ended in stillbirth at 24 weeks, I felt nothing but dread. Mother's intuition on that one.

For DS and DD, it was pretty much just shock, even though we had been trying.

mamicka
02-23-2010, 05:19 PM
#1 - excited & afraid of the unknown
#2 - excited & tired
#3 - excited & overwhelmed
#4 - "holy crap"

JTsMom
02-23-2010, 05:25 PM
With DS, I was surprised and ecstatic. Totally over the moon! We had waited quite a while to start TTC, and I was so ready when we did.

This time, it was really shocking, but I was happy, and a little nervous. We did try, but just once- seriously, once. We're both older, and I didn't think there was any way it would happen that quickly. I really had planned on waiting a couple more months, even though we'd been ready for over a year, just b/c we knew we had a big move and a Disney vacation planned. And it's a bit more intimidating this time around after what we've gone through with Jason- I was so blissfully ignorant the first time around, and b/c I'm worried about how adding to our family is going to effect him. Then there's the "Holy crap, we're starting over again." feeling, and some sadness b/c I'm afraid this will be our last. I'm in the midst of serious baby fever though, and the overwhelming feeling at this point is just plain excitement. I can't wait to snuggle an infant again!

LarsMal
02-23-2010, 05:29 PM
With DS it was shock, followed by excitement and relief. We had been trying for many many months. I was scheduled to meet with my OB the next day to discuss trying Clomid. I decided to take a test- just in case- and was shocked it was positive. Both girls were surprises- so more shock I guess! With baby C, I believe the first words out my mouth were, "Oh sh&&&&&&t!!!" Can't imagine life without her now!

AnnieW625
02-23-2010, 05:39 PM
With DD it was wow, that was quick I was off BCP for two weeks I think and I was pregnant.

With the baby we lost we started trying and it took 6 mos., our timing was off. I was happy, but the whole time I was pregnant I had a feeling something was wrong.

With this baby it was much more of the feeling like I had with DD. My dr. said we could start TTC two normal cycles after my D&E surgery and we'll we got lazy in August and voila (no over planning/stress) here I am due in May. I am a little freaked out about how we are going to afford 2 kids, but I was that way with DD too and we've made it work.

Reyadawnbringer
02-23-2010, 05:39 PM
I was excited, but also scared.

We wanted DS so bad, but I knew the timing wasn't exactly as we had wanted it. He was our little surprise :p

That being said, we wouldn't change it for the world.

Indianamom2
02-23-2010, 05:43 PM
I was beyond thrilled with my first pregnancy. We had been trying for a year, with annovulatory cycles and finally Clomid. That pregnancy ended in an early m/c.

Four months later, I was again extremely excited (I found out 2 days before Christmas) but after losing a pregnancy, I don't think you can ever just simply enjoy those first weeks. Thankfully, DD arrived safely almost 42 weeks later!

My third pregnancy was very much planned and wanted and oh so much quicker (getting pregnant). I was so glad not to have to try for months (and years. Ds arrived safe and sound almost 42 weeks later.

If I found out today...well, I'd eventually be excited, but I really think I'm done. At least that's my plan!

Moneypenny
02-23-2010, 05:44 PM
Simultaneous "Yippee!" and "Oh, Sh*t!"

Nechums
02-23-2010, 05:45 PM
I cried because I thought it was ectopic pregnancy. I had been having a pain in my stomach and when I googled (I know, big mistake) "pain on left side", the first thing that came up was ectopic pregnancy. Right away I went to get a pregnancy test and when it came out positive, I freaked thinking that it was ectopic. I remember shoving the stick in DH's face, crying hysterically. Poor guy, didn't know what to do with me. Thankfully -- 9 months later we gave birth to a beautiful boy and I never googled anything pregnancy-related again!

SnuggleBuggles
02-23-2010, 05:48 PM
Total excitement. :) We had been trying for almost 2 years. The only lingering trouble was that I found out the day dh was supposed to make a big career decision and I didn't want that to affect his decision. Not scared at all.

eta- with ds2 I had changed my mind about TTC and really thought I had not been active when I could have gotten pg. Must have failed cycle tracking 101. But, by the time I tested I had symptoms that were pretty sure I was pg and feeling much more ready for it. I was a bit overwhelmed but excited too.

Beth

Minnifer
02-23-2010, 05:50 PM
When it appeared that maybe, just maybe, this pregnancy would be viable - after 2 years of trying, 5 pregnancy losses, 5 IVFs on maximum meds, and multiple IUIs - utter JOY!!!

sarahsthreads
02-23-2010, 06:04 PM
DD1: Total, utter and complete disbelief, because we had been TTC for 3 years, and it was our third of four Clomid/IUI cycles before we would have had to try something else. This was followed by several weeks of complete terror that I would miscarry, which lessened quite a bit once I could start feeling her move and kick, but didn't really go away completely until she was born. (I slightly blame my RE, who wouldn't actually declare me "pregnant" until we saw the heartbeat around 7 weeks.) I was also very, very excited and happy, slighty worried about practical things (fixing up a very messy spare room, moving from two incomes to one) and really nervous about telling people. (I was seriously trying to get DH to move cross country with me so I wouldn't have to tell people until after the baby was born...I'm not entirely sure why I felt this way...?)

DD2: Again, a bit of disbelief (this time it was the first Clomid/IUI cycle!) and then total peace and joy. I don't know why, because of course there was still the possibility of something bad happening, but I had a little bit more faith in my body I guess. And it felt like *forever* until the first time we saw the heartbeat and we felt comfortable telling people, because I was so excited to tell people!

Sarah :)

jenfromnj
02-23-2010, 06:07 PM
Simultaneous "Yippee!" and "Oh, Sh*t!"

:yeahthat: The freaking out was mainly due to concern whether I'd be able to "measure up" as a mom. DS is almost a year old, and I've managed to keep him alive and relatively happy, so it seems to be working out OK so far :).

cindys
02-23-2010, 06:21 PM
The first time, well, I lost my mind because I was just dating the guy and we fought all the time BUT I was excited about the baby and loved being pregnant...

I married the guy but it only lasted a year and I became a single Mother.

10 yrs later I remarried and after 4yrs of trying and many many IVF cycles we got pregnant and I was sooooo happy...OMG, I remember that feeling and it was just pure happiness and joy.

And when we got pregnant again, I was just as thrilled!!

I have loved being pregnant and am sad I wont get to experience that again but so thankful I got to experience it 3 times :)

Cindy
Mama to 3 boys...18, 3 & 16mos:heartbeat::heartbeat::heartbeat:

elektra
02-23-2010, 06:51 PM
1) Complete and utter shock. I was in the ER with severe pain and loss of consciousness, and had no clue that being pregnant was part of that equation. Ended up in surgery for an ectopic. (DH and I were not married yet and were not trying to get pg)
2) Surprise and a tiny bit of dissapointment as I had only been married a month. Lots of anxiety about it being another ectopic, which it was.
3)Reservation- Please let the 3rd time be the charm! (This was the most exciting of all of them, as it was the most "planned".)
4) Disbelief that it happened so fast after trying only 2 months, anxiousness about the ectopic thing, and a bit of apprehension about the long road I knew was ahead with the pregnancy.

With all the ectopic drama (in addition to other high risk pregnancy issues I ended up having) I never was able to look very long term with the pregnancies. Like I never contemplated relationship changes or anything like that. It was always kinda day by day for me.

mecawa
02-23-2010, 07:01 PM
With DD1--fear, and a little surprised (although she was very planned, I thought it would take me longer to get pregnant)
With DD2-- fear

KrystalS
02-23-2010, 07:15 PM
With my 1st I was 20 had only been married 6 months. I always knew I wanted kids early. Went off my BC and was pregnant within 2 weeks. I was completely shocked at first that it happened so fast! At the same time I was thinking 'Wow its a good thing I always took my BC cause that happened quick!'. But then I was really excited!
This time, once again it happened within 2 weeks. DH was home from Afghanistan for R&R. We knew we wanted to try but I was doubtful it would happen. After I got the positive test I was really excited but once it sunk in I started thinking my life is totally going to change! Especially if DH ever deployed again I will be doing it with 2 kids on my own. DD loves babies though and I think she will really love helping...at first anyway!!

deborah_r
02-23-2010, 07:20 PM
Terrified. DH and I were both like, are we sure this is what we wanted? And we were already married 8 years at that point...we are not very decisive people I guess! It passed, and we got excited.

c&j04
02-23-2010, 07:38 PM
1st- absolute excitement and shock. I was 7 wks pregnant when I took a test just to rule that out before scheduling Dr appts for "major stomach issues". We had been married 5 yrs but BARELY off BC. It felt so right though that I was devastated at an unpredicted 14 m/c.

2nd- never been so scared :) I was maybe 3 wks when I took the test and it was only 4 mos after the m/c. Stayed scared until oh, around 22 wks.

I have 8 wks left, this is my last week of work and I am now so excited I can hardly think about anything else!

malphy
02-23-2010, 07:39 PM
Shock and awe!!! Then terror.

After ten years, numerous mc's, iui, ivf, etc., it was a total surprise.

I was so wrapped up in being able to hold onto the pg(started contrctions at 24 weeks and was put on bedrest) that I didn't have time to be afraid of actually having her and how she would change my life!

My little miracle held on until 38 weeks!!

marit
02-23-2010, 07:44 PM
When I saw the second line on the pee stick I just burst into un-controlable laughter. DH asked - what's wrong? what's wrong? but I couldn't answer, I was laughing so hard...

What was going through my mind was - I can't believe it really works! kinda feeling. I mean, you have unprotected sex - and voila!

lizzywednesday
02-23-2010, 07:51 PM
Gleeful, but not directly about the pregnancy ... DH had been insisting we should go out to our friends' 4th of July barbecue at their house.

Their house is out on LONG ISLAND and it takes us 2 hours each way to get there. They smoke, have multiple cats and two long-haired dogs, but are otherwise nice people.

The last thing I wanted after learning I was pregnant was to hang out with smokers far from home in case I got sick.

hillview
02-23-2010, 08:41 PM
After 2 years of charting and a round of IUI following a FULL infert workup and surgery to remove polyps I was very excited but also very cautious. I didn't really get EXCITED til about 5 months. Even then I was cautious.

With DS2 it was after a year of trying and 3 rounds of IUI. I was THRILLED as next stop was IVF.
/hillary

TwinFoxes
02-23-2010, 08:42 PM
Very nervous, almost so much that I couldn't relax enough to be happy. But I was ecstatic too. I had lots of strong emotions. I also realize looking back I had NO IDEA what I was getting into.

When I found out it was twins, shock doesn't even come close to describing it. At the time I was happy I was getting two for one pregnancy. But I really enjoyed being pregnant.

sunshine873
02-23-2010, 08:51 PM
After trying for 10 years with PCOS, losing a lot of weight and then trying again, my 1st reaction was pure excitement coupled with disbelief. I will NEVER forget the look in DH's eyes when I told him. No words, but one look that spoke of the deepest love, joy and hope.

newg
02-23-2010, 09:25 PM
With DD I was really excited because we had been TTC for a year...........but also a little fearful because I was diabetic and only had books to help me prepare for what I'd go through.........
With this one I was surprised because it happened so quickly and easily, but also happy because we didn't have to go through everything we did the first time....

ourbabygirl
02-23-2010, 09:45 PM
First, let me just say that reading many of your responses gave me the chills :grouphug: because so many people have such intense stories in the TTC journey. I thought I had it rough trying for 11 months before getting pg with DD, but you've all humbled me and made me realize that was nothin', so thank you! :bowdown:
Anyhow, since we'd been trying a while with DD, and gone through the fertility work-up (testing both of us, my various blood tests which helped me get over my fear of needles & shots, charting, hypnotherapy, praying, etc., etc.), I honestly never thought I'd be able to get pregnant. Don't know why, I just never thought I'd be lucky enough for it to work for me, but when I took the home test and it had the two pink lines, I was in disbelief. So I took another, got the same result, and ran around the house praying/ shouting "Please let this be real! Please let this be real!" I was just sooooooooo delighted and shocked that it actually happened. So I was gung-ho about it and told some people at around the 8-10 week mark, but truthfully, until she was born, I always kind of worried that something would go wrong. I think it's finally sunk in (over a year later) that I'm a mom and my life will never be the same. :heartbeat:
With #2, it was quite a different story as we weren't TTC, but we also weren't trying to prevent it. I didn't think we'd start trying til this summer or fall, but lo and behold a vacation gave us a little surprise. So again I took two tests to confirm and said "Oh, baby" (kind of like 'what did I get myself into?!'). DH was surprised, too, but happy, and we're still in the very early stages, so it'll be a while before we can share the news openly. A big part of me is sad that I'm taking alone time away from DD and myself to enjoy together, but another part of me realizes that she'll enjoy having a sibling close in age to her, and as my mom says, that'll mean more to her over time than having me to herself. :)

Melaine
02-23-2010, 09:51 PM
Disbelief....and fear. I never doubted that I WANTED to have children but we weren't really trying and I couldn't have been more surprised. I had this feeling that the joy would definitely set it but I had a lot of worrying ahead of me. I knew I would be a paranoid parent.

It was nothing to find out I was pregnant, in comparison to the fateful day we found out we were having twins. That is a feeling I will absolutely never forget. I truly truly thought the doctor was playing a joke on me. It took weeks for the truth to set in. In someways, I still have a hard time believing it. I mean, they look almost exactly alike, for heaven's sake! It's just nuts.

BabyMine
02-23-2010, 10:05 PM
My first thought was , O. Sh$T. this. is. not. happening. Complete terror and disbelief. We were both told, 10 years ealier , that there is no way we would be able to have children. We had made peace with that and then we found out we were expecting. I initially didn't want kids. I was way to career driven to even think about becoming a mother.

DH talked about it and became a little excited. We just didn't know that much about children. It got harder when we found out there were problems with the pregancy and M. Looking back and now having TT I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I was always a planner. I am so glad that I didn't get to plan this.

I wish I could go back to the night I found out for the fist time. I sometimes get jealous when I find out someone is pregnant for the fist time.

Twoboos
02-23-2010, 10:16 PM
Shock & denial (even though we were trying) - since w/both DDs I had taken pg tests and they both came back negative. Waited another week and they were positive!!

With DD2 I was especially surprised since we tried a grand total of ONE time then decided we'd better wait some more. It was too late by then. :) I have been warning all of my younger cousins that you really CAN get pg from doing it "just once" so be careful. Of course these cousins are boys in their late teens/early 20s so they are horrified. ;)

WatchingThemGrow
02-23-2010, 10:19 PM
Totally humbling thread. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt stories.

Am I the only one who thought, "Oh carp! For 20 years ALL I'VE heard/thought is 'don't get pregnant' and now I AM! Am I going to be in trouble?"

DH and I met and married at 35, so we didn't know what was going to happen. The first pg, we'd been married a month. We bought the EPT with Target gift cards from our wedding. :bag
The second time, DD was around 8m and we were pleasantly surprised it happened again.
The third time, a dollar store test said, "No.." and we were shocked because we'd never failed a pg test. A week later we discovered that we were indeed, and that the first stick was wrong. The shock set in once we were home with #3.

HIU8
02-23-2010, 10:19 PM
With DS I was nervous when I found out. The month right before I had a blighted ovum and I was nervous that it would happen again. DS was conceived on our second IUI try. With DD I was soooo happy. We had been trying and finally had to go to a clomid IUI cycle with injectibles. If that didn't work then we were going to go to IVF. It took 5 months (5 IUI cycles, clomid, injectibles and a procedure to clean out scar tissue) to get DD.

Jacksmommy2b
02-23-2010, 10:39 PM
I got pregnant with J as soon as I stopped the pill, so shocked is a bit of an understatement. I'll never forget calling M into the room and the look on his face when he asked what the $*%%( that meant. :) The poor guy was so stunned he tried to lock the door with his car keys and then lost the car at walmart when he went to go pick up more tests. I agree with the whole "OMG what have I done" feeling until the excitement kicked in and I was scared to death to tell my father. (even though I had been married for two years to my high school sweetheart and I don't really think it was news to anyone we had been having sex for quite a while...lol)

With Sammy we had been trying for over a year and had decided we were okay with J being an only. We were at the place where we were going to make the appointment to make it official and just have M nuetered and be done with it. I had made my peace with it. One day it just sort of dawned on me that I hadn't seen my period in a while. I was so done with seeing negative that I actually waited a few days to test. The second line was darker than the first and again, I was so stunned you could have bowled me over with a feather. I was also worried how it would effect J and that something would be wrong as I had no idea I had been pregnant and was still smoking and drinking insane amounts of coffee.

The best was 'telling' my mom who actually asked 'why in the world J was wearing a T shirt that said big brother.' :)

DietCokeLover
02-23-2010, 10:41 PM
With DD, I was over the moon! I got pg on our first try, and I had feared it might take us a while to conceive.

With DS, I was in shock. I had a 3 month old for heaven's sake! Was absolutely not planning it, expecting it or even thinking about it. However, God's plans are so much better than anything I could ever think up or imagine.

maestramommy
02-23-2010, 11:02 PM
For the first pregnancy, I was a little shocked because we had tried the previous 3 months with the charting and temping and came up empty. And scared because I was spotting and thought I might be miscarrying.

The second time I was REALLY shocked because Dh and I were using bc. I even came here to ask whether it was really possible to get preggo on a condom with no user error:p So really this board found out about the pregnancy before Dh (he was at work when I was taking the tests).

The third time I wasn't shocked, but a little surprised that we got pregnant the 2nd month not using bc. AND I was scared and thinking "What were we thinking?? Should we have quit while we were ahead?"

elliput
02-23-2010, 11:24 PM
Total, utter and complete shock. DH & I had been married for 11 years- and not preventing for almost 9 of those. We had both come to the conclusion that a biological child was just not in the stars for us, so I took a PT to rule out the possibility as I was a few days late. As it happened, DH was also out of town on a business trip and I just could not tell him over the phone. I was pacing around the house like a caged cat.

The second time around I took the PT to DH and asked him what he thought- I had been charting and temping this time, so we were both much calmer about the whole thing.

Octobermommy
02-24-2010, 12:43 AM
When I found out I was pg the first time I was in disbelief and so happy but worried b/c of the light colored line and the fertility tmts. I miscarried that pregnancy.

With my dd I felt pure elation b/c I really didn't think I was pregnant and my hcg level was an even 100. It just felt right. After over 2 years of trying it just felt like it was like it should be.

With my second ds I was so shocked b/c we weren't "trying". No fertility treatments at all. I really thought I would miscarry b/c but the day I found out we saw his heartbeat. After that I believed I would have a baby but was still in disbelief for a while.

smilequeen
02-24-2010, 12:51 AM
1st pregnancy...completely thrilled
DS1...excited and scared to death because I was afraid I'd have another miscarriage
DS2...shocked and excited. Shocked b/c it took a year to get pregnant with DS1 and only 2 months with DS2.
4th pregnancy...excited but scared to death about adding a third (even though we very badly want to). Now I feel guilty for being so scared.

MamaSnoo
02-24-2010, 12:54 AM
Thrilled!!!! and madly in love. Exact words to DH the night I tested positive: "I love the baby."

The fear came later, as there were complications. But, nearly 2 years later, I am starting to forget about all that and I want to try for #2.

Tondi G
02-24-2010, 01:16 AM
I hate to admit it, but mine was fear (even though it was planned). I was afraid of how my life would change, afraid of losing my independence, afraid of what it would do to my body, afraid of the actual birthing process....I could go on and on. I am so glad I had my kiddos, but boy, it was a process. There I said it. I have always been jealous of women who are so ecstatic right off the bat. Not me. Same with DS2 except that I added being terrified of my relationship with DS1 changing forever.

yeah you pretty much summed up how I felt!

liamsmom
02-24-2010, 02:15 AM
For me, I came home from work early because I felt sick so I took a test. (We had been trying, but I'm really irregular, so there was a test already at home.) I was so shocked that I immediately went out and bought two more tests!:hysterical: We weren't trying THAT hard! I was pretty freaked like a lot of other people. I had just started grad school, but I didn't think I'd get pregnant so quickly. And I really wanted a natural birth at home, so that added to my anxiety. It wasn't until I was 5 or 6 months pregnant that I felt more comfortable with my pregnancy.

MoJo
02-24-2010, 07:58 AM
With DD#1, I'd say a quiet joy and happiness. I just lost my father that spring and had also been grieving over the thought of never having kids for a few years. (I was getting older, and we both had reasons to suspect fertility issues).

But I had also been praying about having a baby in June of 2008 for two full years, without telling anyone including DH. After nine years of marriage, we finally started trying to have a baby, and she was conceived the second month of trying. . . and born June, 2008, when I was 35 1/2 years old.

It was my DH and mom who were in disbelief. They had me take three more tests to be sure (they were all positive.)

With DD#2 on the way, an even quieter joy. She was conceived on the first attempt. I wasn't sure I was ready to be pregnant again (still not sure; it's been a hard pregnancy.) I always wanted 2-4 kids, and had planned to start trying again when DD would be 2 at the baby's birth. I was hesitating, but DH decided it was time to try again, motivated by the news that his brother was having a Down Syndrome baby and the thought that waiting wasn't necessarily the right thing to do. I have to agree that I think it's going to be a hard few years with two so close in age, but I vastly prefer that option over not having another child or the greatly increasing risks as I age. DD#2 is due one week after DD#1 turns 2.

I had already decided not to actually try for more after 2, but now we're both thinking 2 is enough for us.

mom2kaivi
02-25-2010, 01:55 AM
I felt disbelief and then was overjoyed. DH and I tried for 5 years... after trying on our own for 2 years, one operation to remove a fibroid, 5 months on Clomid, 4 unsuccessful IUI's, 1 unsuccessful IVF, we did a FET that was successful. After the transfer, I just didn't feel like it had worked. I called the nurses at my fertility office to ask them if I would get my period or the meds would make me miss it. The nurse said, "You're not going to get your period because YOU'RE PREGNANT!!" I just said, "Are you serious? Are you serious???" and then I just started crying. Writing about it takes me right back to that moment... happiest moment of my life!!!

I now have beautiful 4 1/2 year old b/g twins.