Character reference letter--any advice?

[Cam&Clay]

I have to write a character reference letter for my best friend...by tomorrow. Her XH is trying to get custody of her DD, and this would be a disaster. I don't see how any judge would allow it considering his past, but she has to prepare as if it could happen. Her attorney suggested that her closest friends write letters on her behalf. We've been friends for more than 20 years, since college, but I'm at a loss as to how to even start writing this letter. Of course she is an excellent mother. She's smart, dependable. For pete's sake, she's been a kindergarten teacher for more than 15 years, so you know she has to be good with kids!

Anyway, I know some of you smart ladies are knowledgeable about these things. Any ideas? What should I include?

Thanks!

[bubbaray]

Include just that. You have known her for x years. You know that she has been an (outstanding) kindy teacher for y years. You have hosted her in your home with your own children and have seen her parenting skills first hand. She babysits your own children, Blah blah blah.

I'm curious, though. Your evidence would be far more compelling in affidavit form. Unsworn letters don't hold much weight. I would contact her lawyer and offer to swear an affidavit in support of her gaining custody.

[hillview]

I agree with Melissa, use the bullets you have above! Maybe provide some examples of where she has done something

known for 20 years
excellent mother
smart
dependable
been a (trusted) kindergarten teacher for more than 15 years

Maybe that you'd leave your kids with her for an extended time without a concern etc?

Not a lawyer.
/hillary

[WitMom]

I know NOTHING about any of this, but in addition to what you've already mentioned, how about including any community activities/volunteer activities/church activities she may be involved in. Those things also give an indication of a person's stability and character.

[Cam&Clay]

Okay, I just sent her the first draft. I really appreciate the advice. I normally feel that I write well, but this is hard to do without slamming her XH, you know? I know I need to write about HER and her parenting.

All of this makes me very grateful for my XH. We never went to court. We get along fine. No child support issues. No visitation issues. Actually, he makes a better XH than he did a DH!