are you a happy person?

[lmh2402]

i realize this is an extremely ambiguous question and open to many different interpretations. but i'm just wondering if most people consider themselves happy on a day-to-day basis

i don't mean that if you step back and look at the big picture, you know you've got it pretty good and are therefore happy

i mean in daily life, are you...happy? perhaps another way of asking my question, are you positive in your outlook and demeanor?

i ask because i...am not. big picture i am. but day in and day out. i really, really am not. in fact, some (DH) would say i'm quite sour on a regular basis.

and the truth is...I KNOW he's right. i really do. but if/when he calls me on it, i get livid.

i am in therapy. have been for a long time. but have never really found a way or reason to truly change my default settings.

in general i am:
- extremely anxious
- highly critical of self and others
- always waiting for the next bad thing to happen
- always feeling like i'm trying to be prepared to fend off or avoid the aforementioned bad thing
- always...ALWAYS...tired. always

and i'm just wondering if there is anyone else that feels like this most of the time?

so many of my friends are way more light-hearted and relaxed...

i wish i could be different. and i know that sounds lame...like if i wish i could be different...than i should just BE different. but i can't. i don't know how.

it makes me sad. and really mad at myself.

i am scheduled for an appt with psychiatrist when we get back from vaca. to consider staring meds, even though i'm BF. but i've taken zoloft in the past and it helped with my immediate depressions issues...however, i don't think i can ever, EVER in my life remember being "happy," or "positive." even when i was on meds.

blah. anyone else?

thanks.

[lizzywednesday]

I've been where you are and it's a rough spot to be in, so I wouldn't describe myself consistently as "happy" ... but I am doing very well now.

Therapy really helped me get the skills I needed to stop myself before I got into the self-destructive thought patterns that were making me - and everyone around me - miserable.

I did not go on meds, but I am adamantly against meds in my own case when I can do CBT and get the same results. I've always made a deal with my therapists that if I do not improve or develop the skills, I will consider getting meds.

Currently, I am pregnant, so I am riding a bit of a hormone high, but I also made a small resolution to focus on positives. I'm also making a conscious decision to keep my stress level low, for reasons relating to my baby's health. (Long story; I think I told it in another thread back in December.)

I do not ignore negatives, but I try to make the most of small happy things, even something as trivial as the sun shining during a lousy work day. Again, I would describe this thought pattern as closer to CBT than to being a Pollyanna.

HOWEVER, I don't know that I would be able to do this without having had multiple therapists over the years who were able to help me learn new techniques of stopping my destructive thought habits. I am a firm believer in the value of therapy and do not begrudge anyone needing meds to balance their system.

[maestramommy]

I consider myself to be a pretty happy (maybe a better word is content) person, although I'm going through a rough patch right now.

:hug::hug: Hope things change for you.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I have bad days but I am very much a happy, positive person. This is especially apparent when I spend time with my sister, who has been battling depression for years. Even when were little we were always polar opposites.

Things annoy me, I do snap at my dcs and dh, I get in slumps but they are fleeting and not the sum of my personality. kwim?

I hope that you are able to find a way to get in a place you feel good about. I think that some people aren't going to be bubbly, optimistic people and I think that's fine so long as they are ok with it (like my sister seems to be).

Beth

[Melaine]

I am starting my 3rd month on my second round (tried it before a couple years ago) of Prozac. I am starting to feel happiness return. I'm starting to feel optimistic again, and feel like my sense of humor is returning and not just in a self-deprecating, cynical sarcasm. More light-hearted, and definitely more positive. I've also gotten A LOT done around the house. I'm not as tired and I'm able to take naps. Typically, I'll be exhausted, but have trouble sleeping and can't ever nap. I know drugs aren't always the answer, but for me, for now, they are working. I'm sorry you are struggling, I definitely relate to the feelings you are describing. Things will hopefully improve soon....don't give up, keep looking for improvement.

[BabyMine]

When I was depressed and not on meds I was not a happy person. The world just seemed cold and I was tired all the time. I didn't want to do anything and I cried very easily.

I went on a Lexapro and went to therapy. That helped tremdiously. Now I can be the person I was before the depression kicked in. I am happy most of the time. There are times ( mostly due to the kids) that I'm not but I am a very easy going person. I don't get mad easily and find solutions instead of dweling. My mom always taught us to try and make at least 1 person happier than when you found them. I like to make people smile. I am still tired though but that is due to medcial conditions.

:hug: I know how hard it can be going through this rough time. PM me anytime you need help or want to talk.

[hillview]

So glad you posted this. I was feeling like I am ONE BIG CRAB APPLE lately. I feel I've been:
- B*tchy
- Stressed
- TIRED so tired all the time
- Angry/irritable way too much

For me I honestly think I am STILL adjusting to working full time, having 2 kids and the stress of just basic life. The fact that I just don't get enough sleep is a major factor although when I go to bed at 9 am isn't early enough to feel rested.

I think I need to work out/exercise.

So yes, I am not nice/happy seeming way too much.

That said, I am happy with my life I just need to cope better.
/hillary

[pinkmomagain]

I tend to be a happy, optimistic, grateful person. I am tired and have some chronic pain....and I can be short on patience...and the winter gets me kinda down....but overall I am definitely a glass half full kinda gal.

I am surrounded by those who are not. *sigh*

[niccig]

When I'm bitchy, tired, cranky, over reacting to a little problem and just a downright PITA, I know my thyroid levels are off. I wake up majorly annoyed at the world, and I stay that way all day. If it lasts for more than 10 days, I go have a blood test and most times, my medicine needs to be changed. Thyroid problems are not the case for everyone, but if you haven't had it checked, it's worth doing.

I'm also in therapy and she has me meditating again. It's not the answer for everyone, but it helps me feel centered. I did 25 mins last night before bed and the tensions/stress relief from my shoulders and upper back was amazing. It felt better than the best message I've ever had. I didn't realise I was that tense. It's also ME time, so I'm trying to do 25 mins or so a day, when I get to sit and just be still.

Exercise is a big deal for me. I always feel better. I do think some lifestyle tweaks can help me feel happier, but when it's more serious than that, it's off to the DR. for me.

[DietCokeLover]

Not today. I am definitely NOT happy today.

BUT... in general, I would say I am a "joy-filled" person. Not always happy, but I have a definite experience of joy every day.

[gatorsmom]

I'm a happy person most of the time. At least, I've always been told that. But frankly, I have 4 small children right now and it's hard on a day-to-day basis. I'm tired all the time because of all I have to do and not able to accomplish with our 2 crazy twins running around. I have to keep an eye on them ALL THE TIME. I'm tired and worn out and grumpy. And because of that when other people ask for me to do something for them or create more work for me, I SNAP. But this is unusual for me and I know that as the kids get older and more independent, I'll be able to relax more and return to my happy self.

To the OP, I think you should do whatever you need to to find the happiness you are seeking, be it meds or extra therapy, etc. You deserve to be happy.

[tiapam]

When I'm bitchy, tired, cranky, over reacting to a little problem and just a downright PITA, I know my thyroid levels are off. I wake up majorly annoyed at the world, and I stay that way all day. If it lasts for more than 10 days, I go have a blood test and most times, my medicine needs to be changed. Thyroid problems are not the case for everyone, but if you haven't had it checked, it's worth doing.



Absolutely in agreement here. Ladies, please, please get your thyroid checked. It is more common in women and often goes undiagnosed. For some people, test results may not
show a problem. If you have clear symptoms that persist, find a doctor who will treat based on the symptoms.

If you feel like a million dollars, you should also get a thyroid test so you have a baseline. I am a firm believer that not everyone has the same "normal" when it comes to thyroid hormones.

Stress is often the trigger for the onset of thyroid problems. So especially if you have family history, you need to be vigilant. Thyroid disease usually has a very gradual onset.
Mary Shomon's website is one of the best:

http://thyroid.about.com/b/2010/01/28/today-show-thyroid-awareness.htm

This is a link to a recent topic covered in her newsletter. it is always good but this last one really had lots of good info.

[kijip]

Yes. My day to day is a happy thing. Joy filled even. I am not always happy nor am I a perky sort but I am happy far more than not. I am far happier now that my job is a better one. I am also less stressed than I used to be about a ton of things so that helps. My mom's death, while not a happy thing at all, put things in perspective for me and I realized I need to live and live well while I am here. I only have 1 life to live, so I might as well have a lot of fun.

I never understood depression until I was postpartum with my second son. I needed help then for sure. I got it and an fortunate enough to have moved past that, but I am grateful for the meds and the doctor that helped me when I needed it. I am off of the meds now.

[graciebellesmomma]

I used to be happy for all my life.
People used to ask me how I felt so comfortable in my own skin.
I shared a one room apartment with my son and
got no child support. Lots of financial struggles, lots
of have nots....somehow I focused on the haves.
Life was just fun, fun, fun! I have a friend
that still calls me 'fun-fun'-fun". He's got no
clue as to how much my son's death has
destroyed the fun.

When my now husband met me he could not
fathom how I was so happy. I remember telling him that
I just "was". I had so many worries, but no fears.

Fears are what ruin the fun. Since my son was killed,
I fear that everyone is going to die. It came so far out of
left field, that I've been unsteady ever since. Such things
were just no in my realm of reality. Now it's all I a can do to
let my daughter out of my sight. She's got no clue, it's
all internalized. Which leads to panic attacks, and fear.

Fear, fear, fear. It rules my life. I don't have much
anger or irritability....Just mainly anxiety, panic and
fear. It sucks. I do stuff on a regular basis to fight it
off. I do meditation. I take hot baths. I get acupuncture.
Etc.

I'm fighting the fear and hoping to find the happy, again.

Fight the fear-Find the happy....that's my motto!

[arivecchi]

I used to be happy for all my life.
People used to ask me how I felt so comfortable in my own skin.
I shared a one room apartment with my son and
got no child support. Lots of financial struggles, lots
of have nots....somehow I focused on the haves.
Life was just fun, fun, fun! I have a friend
that still calls me 'fun-fun'-fun". He's got no
clue as to how much my son's death has
destroyed the fun.

When my now husband met me he could not
fathom how I was so happy. I remember telling him that
I just "was". I had so many worries, but no fears.

Fears are what ruin the fun. Since my son was killed,
I fear that everyone is going to die. It came so far out of
left field, that I've been unsteady ever since. Such things
were just no in my realm of reality. Now it's all I a can do to
let my daughter out of my sight. She's got no clue, it's
all internalized. Which leads to panic attacks, and fear.

Fear, fear, fear. It rules my life. I don't have much
anger or irritability....Just mainly anxiety, panic and
fear. It sucks. I do stuff on a regular basis to fight it
off. I do meditation. I take hot baths. I get acupuncture.
Etc.

I'm fighting the fear and hoping to find the happy, again.

Fight the fear-Find the happy....that's my motto! Wow. You are so inspiring. I will try do the same as I am currently crippled by fear of what the next couple of months will hold for me. Hugs, mama. You are such a strong woman. :hug:

[smiles33]

Wow. You are so inspiring. I will try do the same as I am currently crippled by fear of what the next couple of months will hold for me. Hugs, mama. You are such a strong woman. :hug:

:yeahthat: Wow, I can only imagine what a challenge it is to overcome that paralyzing fear.

[shawnandangel]

:yeahthat: Wow, I can only imagine what a challenge it is to overcome that paralyzing fear.

I remember you posting about losing your son before, and I find you incredibly courageous! I will pray that you continue to find courage and happiness. :grouphug:

[Pennylane]

I am 95 % of the time. I think I have a wonderful life and although it's not perfect I wouldn't change a thing! I try to remember that everytime the kids are acting up or I am having a bad day.

Ann

[firsttimemama]

I wouldn't describe myself as a happy person, but I'm in therapy and trying to work through my issues.

[Jo..]

I am happy all of the time. I wake up and feel blessed and privileged to have my life.

I laugh loudly and frequently. The kids and I joke and have fun together.

However, that happiness comes with a price. I have crippling anxiety, so much so that I need medication. I am always worried that something will happen, someone will die, get sick, get crippled. I'm not sure I deserve to be so happy.

[g-mama]

I am happy all of the time. I wake up and feel blessed and privileged to have my life.

I laugh loudly and frequently. The kids and I joke and have fun together.

However, that happiness comes with a price. I have crippling anxiety, so much so that I need medication. I am always worried that something will happen, someone will die, get sick, get crippled. I'm not sure I deserve to be so happy.

Are you saying it's the medication that completely rids you of the anxiety and allow you to feel happy all the time? I wasn't sure if you attributed it to the meds or if you were saying you are both anxious and happy simultaneously.

I am wondering because I tend to be anxious and I feel like it takes away my ability to be happy too often.

[Jo..]

Are you saying it's the medication that completely rids you of the anxiety and allow you to feel happy all the time? I wasn't sure if you attributed it to the meds or if you were saying you are both anxious and happy simultaneously.

I am wondering because I tend to be anxious and I feel like it takes away my ability to be happy too often.

I am happy and anxious simultaneously. The medication has completely cured my panic attacks and helped with anxiety...but it's still there. I am so happy, that I worry about it being snatched away (if that makes sense).

I am currently on Cymbalta 60 mg once daily and buspirone 15mg 2x daily (after trying tons of meds Lexapro, Zoloftt Prozac) for panic disorder.

After living through 9/11 where my husband saw the planes hit (we were in NY) I was never the same.

[graciebellesmomma]

Jo, I think I can describe myself the same way. Happy with a heap of anxiety/panic.
I AM a happy person when I forget the fear. That's all it takes....



There is a woman whose work has helped me tremendously.
Her name is Claire Weekes....she was working with "nervousness"
issues in the 60's!

Here are some links to her books and audio recordings.

http://www.anxietyguru.net/dr-claire-weekes-anxiety-superhero/

http://www.controllinganxiety.com/

this guy has free audio rec. that i put on my ipod, and listen to when
i cant sleep at night due to racin heart, etc.

an excerpt from a book her hers that i highly recommend:
http://www.amazon.com/Nervous-Suffering-Signet-Claire-Weekes/dp/0451167236

[salsah]

i was a happy, positive person before having kids. now the stress of the kids makes me miserable. the stress of the responsibility makes me anxious.
i can sometimes control it but if i couldn't, i would need to seek help. it isn't fun living like that.