Did you quit your job to be a SAHM and regret it?

[sewarsh]

I'm giving notice tomorrow and I'm really excited to finally have the opportunity to stay at home with my kids (ages 3.5 & 1.5).

But I have to admit, i'm a little scared that they will drive me crazy and that i'll want to go back to work!! I think i'm prepared, but really, who knows?!?

Did this happen to anyone else? Just curious.

On the other hand, i'm in accounting so to find another job shouldn't be too hard. My current job is with a Fortune 100 company and is an hour commute and is stressful, so at the very least I think leaving this job is probably best for our family.

[JBaxter]

I worked full time when my older 2 were small. When DH and I got married and discussed having children we decided that it would be best if I stayed home. It was the BEST thing I could have ever have done. No more daycare hassles, sick kid hassles, worry about who or what is going on with your kids no more rolling them out of bed early etc.

Some days I miss adult conversations but I found a great moms group that gets together for play groups, coffee, lunches etc.

My older 2 have really enjoyed it too. I have made it to all their sporting events ( some start at 5pm and that would be really hard if I was working someplace)


To us there was WAY WAY WAY more benefits to me staying at home than going to work outside the home

[Nechums]

I quit to be a SAHM. There are times, especially after meeting up with former colleagues, where I've had some regret. The feeing only lasts a minute until I realize how crazy my life would've been and how different DS would be turning out had he been raised by someone else.

[egoldber]

I did and don't regret it. It DID take me much longer to find a job than I had anticipated when I did decide to go back (I was out for about 7 years). Of course, going back in the midst of a huge recession made it less than ideal LOL! I also had to go back at a much lower level than I left at, and I think that is pretty typical.

I would definitely keep yourself up to date as much as you can with the occasional training class and seminar and maintain professional organization memberships.

[Melaine]

I've been a SAHM since they were born. That was always my plan, and really no struggle. I never had a career I loved or a lucrative one so it was really a non-issue. Before I found out I was having twins, I had planned to continue working as a nanny with my "one" baby but that was totally impossible with twins.

Hope you enjoy being a SAHM. I'm really happy we can afford for me to do this.

[pinkmomagain]

I did and I don't! Enjoy.

[veronica]

I'm giving notice tomorrow and I'm really excited to finally have the opportunity to stay at home with my kids (ages 3.5 & 1.5).

But I have to admit, i'm a little scared that they will drive me crazy and that i'll want to go back to work!! I think i'm prepared, but really, who knows?!?

Did this happen to anyone else? Just curious.

On the other hand, i'm in accounting so to find another job shouldn't be too hard. My current job is with a Fortune 100 company and is an hour commute and is stressful, so at the very least I think leaving this job is probably best for our family.


I'm you!!! I'm a CPA with an MBA degree and quit just after earning the MBA. I treasure the opportunity to raise the kids on a daily basis. It is the hardest job I have had, and there have been plenty of hard accounting jobs ;). What I truly miss is adult interaction and "feeling important and valued". While I know I am important and valued, I don't get merit increases and reviews from DC's, IYKWIM???

enjoy it-it is a gift.

[hellokitty]

I did, and I'm glad I did, no regrets. However, I'm not looking forward to returning back to work when the kids are older.

[sewarsh]

I'm you!!! I'm a CPA with an MBA degree and quit just after earning the MBA. I treasure the opportunity to raise the kids on a daily basis. It is the hardest job I have had, and there have been plenty of hard accounting jobs ;). What I truly miss is adult interaction and "feeling important and valued". While I know I am important and valued, I don't get merit increases and reviews from DC's, IYKWIM???

enjoy it-it is a gift.

Yes, we are quite similar. I don't have MBA, but have the CPA, Big 6 (4) experience and the works. If it makes YOU feel any better, merit increases are pretty much zippo these days (okay, i'm exaggeratng...2% at my company)!

Anyways, I'm excited and i'm ready and our life will be much less stressful. I have lots of SAHM friends, so i think i'll still get the interaction...i'm not worried about that. i'm worried that my kiddos will drive me crazy!!! But at least I can put them in time-out which isn't an option with my boss who also drives me crazy!!

:rotflmao:

[veronica]

Yes, we are quite similar. I don't have MBA, but have the CPA, Big 6 (4) experience and the works. If it makes YOU feel any better, merit increases are pretty much zippo these days (okay, i'm exaggeratng...2% at my company)!

Anyways, I'm excited and i'm ready and our life will be much less stressful. I have lots of SAHM friends, so i think i'll still get the interaction...i'm not worried about that. i'm worried that my kiddos will drive me crazy!!! But at least I can put them in time-out which isn't an option with my boss who also drives me crazy!!

:rotflmao:

I worked for E&Y in NYC. Definitely don't miss that!

I have DD and DS in preschool now. It's only from 8-11am for four days. I NEED that and so do they!

[MommyofAmaya]

In general I have no regrets.... if you were to pop in about 5 p.m. on most days, however, I would much rather be stuck in traffic listening to my Ipod on the way home from the office. That is the time of day where I've "had it up to here" :wavey: with being home all day. Luckily, DH gets home about 6.

[sewarsh]

I worked for E&Y in NYC. Definitely don't miss that!

I have DD and DS in preschool now. It's only from 8-11am for four days. I NEED that and so do they!

I was at E&Y in DC! so funny!
My DD is in preschool now and DS will start in fall (9-11:30). Plus we're thiking about adding a 3rd after the summer. we'll see!

[moonsky]

Yes, we are quite similar. I don't have MBA, but have the CPA, Big 6 (4) experience and the works. If it makes YOU feel any better, merit increases are pretty much zippo these days (okay, i'm exaggeratng...2% at my company)!

Anyways, I'm excited and i'm ready and our life will be much less stressful. I have lots of SAHM friends, so i think i'll still get the interaction...i'm not worried about that. i'm worried that my kiddos will drive me crazy!!! But at least I can put them in time-out which isn't an option with my boss who also drives me crazy!!

:rotflmao:

I also have an MBA and am a CPA with Big 5 experiences. My last job was at a consulting firm. Big 5 experience really opened many doors of opportunities but work there was too much. I worked 70 hrs during the busy season. I left right after I got certified.

I took maternity leave and decided not to go back. It has been almost 4 yrs since. I love being with my two DCs. However, I can't wait to go back to work. I don't want to end up like my MIL who always stayed home and was looked down by many people in the family. I am expecting my third. I plan to stay home till DC#3 is a year old. I want to make sure the baby get the full benefit of breastfeeding. We never do the bottle and I think it is too much trouble to pump and try to concentrade with a new job.

We are lucky that it will be my choice because I don't need to go back to work. I don't feel the need to stay home if the kids are in school. I plan to go back part-time. I wouldn't mind getting a pay-cut but I just want my identity back, not just Dh's wife, and DCs' mom.

[newby]

I was "Ms. Career Woman". I married late (36) & had my DD at 39! Really had no desire to have a baby, but my DH was dying to have kids. I quit my career, finished my Masters, which I had been working on for years (I refused to get pregnant until I had accomplished my dream), & then got pregnant within 2 mos. I was REALLY worried that I was going to hate being home with a baby full-time. I couldn't have been more wrong! My DH & I worked for the same employer, & last weekend he was at a conference where several of my former co-workers approached him & asked how I was doing & when I would be returning to work. They were shocked to learn that I have no intentions of returning to work any time soon! I LOVE being home with my DD & wouldn't trade it for anything. So, I don't think you will regret it - although some days will be challenging. It's a completely different "world." ENJOY every minute of it!!

[stinkyfeet]

I am really glad to hear other ppls experience. I also have a professional degree (dentistry), and I feel like I get so much crap for staying at home with DS who will turn 1 soon. One of my father's friends actually said that I "was wasting my life"! Needless to say, I was livid. I feel like watching my son grow up is more rewarding at his young stage in life than doing crowns and fillings. I do plan to go back to work sometime in the future, but only on a part-time basis.

[Mom to Brandon and 2 cats]

I quit my professional job (mid-management, engineering) to be a SAHM. I stayed home for 3 years, then decided that I wanted to do a kitchen remodel. DS1 was 3.5, DS2 was 9 months. I went back to work part time in the mornings, picked up the kids around lunch time to spend the afternoons with them.

While I loved being a SAHM, at a certain point, I realized that DS1 needed more social interaction with other kids. I never clicked with my local mom's group. So, from that aspect, sending him to daycare was wonderful. I loved working part time, but hated my supervisor. Plus, my part time job didn't have any benefits, and I wanted to start saving for retirement again. So, when DS1 was 4.75 and DS2 was 2.5, I went to work full time.

After working at my second full time job for 2 years, I got preg with DD and am now on one-year maternity leave. Since then, DH has gotten a job that pays more, and I have the option to stay at home if we really wanted to. I am going to go back to work, however.

I feel more accomplished at work. I can measure my day in ways other than "did I go to the grocery store today". I am not the type of mom that will do lots of crafty things with my kids. It's too messy for me to clean up. I'm not the type of person that is best at SAHM. I need the adult interaction. I'm a better mom for going to work.

Having said that, I love the first year with the babies. It's such a precious time where they're doing new things practically every week. So we scrimped to be able to afford me to take a year off without my salary.

I'm not bashing either side. I've done both, working is just more for me.
--Jennifer

[sewarsh]

I'm a better mom for going to work.

--Jennifer

You are NOT bashing. this statement is SO true to so many women. I don't know if that will apply to me, but i suppose i'll find out after I am home with the kids full time.

Thanks for your honesty.

[maestramommy]

I quit to be a SAHM, and I don't regret it. But it's a lot harder than I thought it would be, for reasons I wouldn't have understood before the kids were born. From this side of the fence I can totally see why many women continue to work even if they don't have to. I don't think I understood that before either.

[kozachka]

I enjoy taking a break from a stressful career (in management consulting) and spending time with DS, but I can not see myself as a SAHP forever. I put DS at full time preschool when he was 2 years and 3 months old, I wish we could do part-time but that was not an option where we lived at the time. I did not want to do it because I did not think it was the right thing to do, but he was driving me crazy in a tiny apartment during one of the coldest winters on record in Europe. DH's attitude was another issue.

Now that DS is in school from 8:20AM till 2:40PM, and is older, things are easier. I've enjoyed spending time with DS while sort of looking for a job. The first few months were great, I was scared to even think of going back to a demanding career type of work, but I am getting bored and would not mind getting back into the corporate world but on better terms than before.

[niccig]

I didn't like my job enough or earned enough to justify long commute and infant day care. DS is 5 and I've been a SAHM the entire time. I was fine for the first year and then I started to go a little crazy when he was about 18 months. I started doing an evening class through the university's extension program and volunteer one day a week. It gave me something that was mine, that didn't have anything to do with DS or the house. I got to be with other adults and have adult conversation. It saved my sanity.

DS is now at school, and I am looking at going back to work - for me, and for long term career and family finances. I'm leaning towards a career change, which means back to school for a couple of years. That works out for us, as he'll be 7 or 8 before I start work. I am looking at careers that have some flexibility, as I'll have to do school pick-up. I could not do a job that has crazy hours or overtime - mostly because DH work isn't predictable, but also because I don't want that lifestyle.

I do worry more now about being a SAHM because of the lay offs at DH's work. I do think we would feel more secure if I was working, even just for the benefits. We have saved more for our emergency fund and that helps with sense of security. Sometimes, I think I should have dropped to part-time work as it would have kept my foot in the door, but as DH points out, I didn't want to be in that door anymore. I would say that when you're a one income family, you do need a big savings cushion. We have family members that had no cushion and needed everything to go well - the DH got laid off and is still looking for work. It doesn't look great for them.

[KpbS]

Yes, I quit and have no regrets. I liked my job but didn't love it. I love being home with my kids. Some days are way more challenging than others (just like working outside of the home) but most days are great and I am very thankful to be here.

[gobadgers]

I left my job to be a SAHM when DD was born. I liked my job just fine, but for me it was nothing compared to the fulfillment of being home with the kids (although sometimes I just have to imagine the gratitude from DD, DS and DH, haha). As a PP said, if you ask me at 5:00 on the average day, my answer might be different. It's a tough job!

We had to change our lifestyle quite a bit when I decided to stay home, but I don't miss 99% of it. I hope you enjoy it!!

[elliput]

I did quit to become a SAHM shortly after becoming PG with DS, however the timing of when I quit was due to a cross-country move for DH's job. If we had not moved, I most likely would have continued to work until delivery and then not gone back as daycare costs would eaten up almost all my income.

I do not regret it for a moment. I have been able to spend so much more time with my DD and was able to actually determine that she needed help as I was told shortly before we moved that daycare "pretty much let her do what she wants". My being a SAHM has been very beneficial.

[LarsMal]

I always planned on staying home when we had kids. DH knew that before we ever even got married.

I did it, I don't regret it...but my kids DO drive me crazy!!!

[moonsky]

Wrong post.

[[email protected]]

I was a government attorney and quit after the stress of juggling my job and my family put me on bedrest while pregnant with my 3rd. I've been home for a year and couldn't be happier. I always felt like I was both a bad employee and a bad mom b/c my kids were constantly sick. DH and I fought about who would stay with the sick kid, and I really hated that my kids were first in last out at daycare. Now I have only one job (managing my family) and I can really focus on excelling. My kids still get sick (DD2 has RSV right now) but it is much less often and we all aren't as stressed out.

Christine W

[ThreeofUs]

I have missed the intellectual stimulation and the interactions with people I can help, yes.

I used to have more of a consulting business, but with 2 kids not yet in school, I just don't have the time any more. But, frankly, that was a choice I made eyes-open when I decided to have a second child.

I'm hoping to start building up again in about 3 years.

I'd ADORE to have LT PT - with hours that are wayyy lower than the PT of 35+ hours as defined by my last two careers. PT on the order of 15 hours/week would be great.

[JamiMac]

I worked in a professional environment when I had my oldest and worked until she was about 2 years and 10 months. I quit when I had my second DD and have never looked back! It's been the best thing for our family for sure. I had planned on going back part time and then found out I was pregnant with DS, so that settled that. I love being involved with their schools and activities. I'm trying to start a photography business that I can do from home or on weekends, so hopefully that will generate some money. I may go back someday professionally, but no plans so far.

[Gena]

I didn't quit, but was "let go" when DS was 15 months old. (The new division president got rid of almost the entire administrative staff.) At that same time DH was interviewing jobs here in Ohio (we lived in MI at the time). Since we were looking to move in a few months, it was hard for me to find a new job; so I decided to just stay home with DS.

I don't regret being a SAHM at all. When we started to realize that DS's development was awry, I was able to make the appointments with EI, pursue private therapy, and go to all the appointments for a medical diagnosis. All of that would have been more difficult if I had been working. Once he got the ASD diagnosis, I did 20+ hours a week of at-home therapy with DS in addition to what he got at school and privately. He made great progress and I am happy that I was able to give him that extra help.

I am now a WOHM again and DH is a (reluctant) SAHD.