s/o of quitting job to be SAHM: Anyone a SAHM that has gone back to work?

[HIU8]

I'm a PT WAHM. I work when DD and DS are in preschool (about 20 hours a week). Right now I work and can pay for preschool. If I did not work PT neither DD nor DS could attend preschool. Meanwhile, it looks like we found a really good private school placement for DS that will help with his SPD issues at school. It's a school that goes from preschool age 3 to the 1st grade (soon to go to the 2nd grade and no further). They have payment plans, but I was told they don't offer financial aide (from a parent we know whose DS goes there). I have to find out if that is correct. If it is, I will have to go back to work FT to pay for this school for DS. I really don't want to work out of the house. I could work FT at my current job but it's commission only. I really feel like I will need a salaried position to make sure I can cover the school payments. I'm not crazy about going back to work FT. Means DD and DS won't be able to do afterschool classes etc... They will have to go to an aftercare program. Plus, it's hard to find a job right now (and I need to make sure I find one that nets over a specific amount--again to make sure I can pay for school). I'm more than willing to do this to make sure DS gets the help he needs. I'm worried about actually being able to find a job. Plus, I'm not a great interviewer (I kow this) and I'm dreading the whole process.

[egoldber]

First :hug:

I did. But DH was laid off and our steady income and health care benefits went with that job. He is now self employed and successful, but the uncertainty of that time makes me hesitant to stop working.

What type of job? (high stress/low stress) Typical hours? Commute? Does your DH travel for work? Do you have a good local social support system? All of these things are huge factors IMO. We have NO local or family support other than our neighbors. What makes our situation bearable is 1) having older DD in the before and after care at our neighborhood school, 2) DH mainly works from home and 3) my job is low stress/low hours.

Also, I will say that my children have found my transition back to full time work to be very stressful. They were very used to me being at home and they really do feel the difference in our lives and not in a good way. I was very frustrated with older DD's school situation this year and found a lovely private school that we could even afford. But when we really looked at it, the additional stress this would add into our lives made it not worth it IMO. While it might solve the school issue, it would make life more stressful in other ways and on balance we decided it was not a good choice for us.

Is this a full day K program? Can you find something that is half day?

[Meatball Mommie]

This is almost exactly the position I was in a year ago. We elected to send both of our children to a private Montessori school. In order for us to do so, I needed to go back to work full time. DS1 was entering K and DS2 preschool. I was a SAHM since giving birth to DS1.

I tried to find an at-home position, but it was so hard - plus I am not the WAH type (I need to be in an office setting to be happy and productive). I had a lot of difficulty finding a position - economy, our location, DH's long hours impact on the hours I can work, etc. I got a position working in my field (sort of) but it didn't work out (they were so crazy there and everyone was oddly micro-managed).

I am now working for the family business doing accounts payable slash reception. It's definitely not my field (I'm a polymer chemist), but I'm happy (which I couldn't say at my last several jobs). I don't make a ton, but it pays for both boys' tuition and our mortgage (less about $1000), and my hours are just a little longer than their school day. Luckily my FIL is semi-retired and does the school drop-off/pick-up. He's in Ireland for 10 days, so I'll have to take the boys to before care at school and they'll stay in after care until I can get them. It's an extra cost, but manageable for short times like this. Feel free to PM if you want to know more...

[Mom to Brandon and 2 cats]

See my post in the original thread....

[HIU8]

First :hug:

I did. But DH was laid off and our steady income and health care benefits went with that job. He is now self employed and successful, but the uncertainty of that time makes me hesitant to stop working.

What type of job? (high stress/low stress) Typical hours? Commute? Does your DH travel for work? Do you have a good local social support system? All of these things are huge factors IMO. We have NO local or family support other than our neighbors. What makes our situation bearable is 1) having older DD in the before and after care at our neighborhood school, 2) DH mainly works from home and 3) my job is low stress/low hours.

Also, I will say that my children have found my transition back to full time work to be very stressful. They were very used to me being at home and they really do feel the difference in our lives and not in a good way. I was very frustrated with older DD's school situation this year and found a lovely private school that we could even afford. But when we really looked at it, the additional stress this would add into our lives made it not worth it IMO. While it might solve the school issue, it would make life more stressful in other ways and on balance we decided it was not a good choice for us.

Is this a full day K program? Can you find something that is half day?

DH's job is some high stress and some not. He works 7 miles from home which is good and can help with drop off or pick up. He travels from Rockville to Baltimore 2x a month for all day meetings. Plus, my father is here and could help us if we needed it. On a permanent basis, maybe not a really good idea though.

I have yet to find a half day K program here. Plus, DS cannot go to public school right now. His self confidence is so low due to his issues and I have seen how he gets left behind and lost in the crack. I can't let that happen. I want him to be successful. The program we found (happens to be very near us) is very specialized to deal with children with sensory issues (a lot of programs say they do, but this one actually has OT and SLP in the classroom teaching daily). We have planned on private at least until 2nd or 3rd grade to give him a good foundation and then see about a move into public when he is more capable of handling it and keeping up.

The other issue is the 2x a week OT for DS and 1x a week SLP for DD that there is no way we could continue if I worked FT. DS will also need a SLP soon.

I'm in marketing and all of my experience has been with non-profit associations (since we basically live in the land of associations). I won't travel for work (BTDT and I simply won't do it again)--no more annual meetings etc.. I also won't work in DC or VA. I have BTDT with long commutes for work. If I look for work it will be near me or north of me. I need to have flexibility in a job and a commute. Before I was let go 3 yrs ago I was doing a Rockville to Columbia commute which was not bad at all.

I think my kids would do ok with a transition to me working FT out of the home. Now they are in aftercare 2x a week as it is and they both enjoy preschool. Plus, I do work some while they are home (don't have a choice if a client calls while we are home).

I think my real issue is that I just really don't want to put the effort forth to find a job, send out resumes and go on interviews. It's looking more and more like my new reality though.

[Gena]

I did. But DH was laid off and our steady income and health care benefits went with that job.

This is our situation. DH got laid off last summer and we both started looking for jobs.I started working full-time in Sept and DH still looking for work. So now I am a FT WOHM and DH is a reluctant SAHD. Previously, I had been a SAHM since DS was 15 months old (He's almost 6 now).

It's been a huge change for all of us and a difficult transition. It's been really hard on DS. But we do we have to do to make it work. I'm lucky that my company is very family friendly and has a flex-time policy that lets me attend school meetings, doctor appointments, etc.

DH is still actively looking for work, but if and when he does find a FT job we will have a whole new set of challenges ahead of us. The hardest will be finding childcare for DS. He currently goes to Kindy half-days and would need care after that. Finding a childcare provider in our area who can handle a child with ASD is very difficult. It's something DH and I both dread.

No real advice, just :hug:.